Impmon in Wonderland

By Yuki Ryu and Neon Tiger AKA Mouko

Chapter 4: Roses, Dances, and Croquet, Oh My!

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Authors' Notes:  Yeeessssssss!  Finally a new chapter of insane silliness to unleash upon you all!  I've recaptured Impmon and he's eagerly awaiting his new tattoo.  *Gestures to Impmon who's bound from head to toe in chains and gagged.*  Which I'll be getting for him while you read this chapter.

Warning:  There's sexual innuendo, groping, and other stuff like that there!  This also includes silly yaoi and scantily-clad-ness.  If you no like it then run away screaming!  Go now.  I'll wait.

Copyright Info:  We own everything in this story.  Yes.  We own Tamers.  I stole them all from Toei and I won't give them back!  *Points at... empty cages?*  EH!?  ... Well... they must have all escaped while I was recapturing Impmon.  So I guess we don't own them... yet.  ANYWAY!  We at least own this story and the new characters in it such as the sexshi scantily-clad bunny girl.  So don't steal!  Impmon will also be ours once I get this tattoo on, which I'll do right now, so enjoy the show!  *Drags Impmon off as he struggles violently.*

Extra Note:  Oh, and in case you're all wondering, I'm just joking.  We own nothing except this story and the new characters within it so don't sue us.  We're making noooo profit selling this story (but we will take any money thrown at us ;P).

***

      "GO BACK TO YER TEA PARTY!"

      "WANNA TASTE AND TOUCH LITTLE GIRL MORE!"

      "I AIN'T A LITTLE GIRL, YA PERVERT!"

      "WANNA TASTE AND TOUCH LITTLE LADY THEN!"

      Beelzebumon growled deep in his throat, then gasped as the woods instantly gave way to a humongous field of roses without any warning.  Beelzebumon yowled and covered his eyes as he was nearly blinded by the sudden blast of sunlight, and went tumbling across the grass.  As he finally came to a halt, he noticed that he was covered in some sticky orange goop that had smeared all over him from the flowers.

      "OH NO!"

      "Dude!  He messed up the queen's flowers!"

      "Oh dear, oh dear!  She'll have our heads for sure!"

      "Pipu pi!"

      "... Huh?" Beelzebumon's eyes widened.

      Standing before him was a pair of familiar Tamers and their digimon.  Oddly enough they were all dressed as playing cards.  Kenta was dressed as the 3 of hearts, Hirokazu the 6 of hearts, Guardromon the 10 of hearts, and Marine Angemon the ace of hearts.

      "..." Beelzebumon was at a loss.

      "DUDE!  We just got finished painting those roses, and now you had to go and mess them up!" Hirokazu exclaimed as he shook his fist at Beelzebumon.  "That's rude, dude!"

      "..." Beelzebumon slowly stood up and looked at the flowers, bewildered.  "... Orange paint?"

      "The Queen ordered orange roses, but they sent us white ones instead, so we have to paint them all before the big party, or the Queen will have our heads!" Kenta moaned.

      "... But won't she have THEIR heads because THEY screwed up?" Beelzebumon quirked an eyebrow.

      "..." The card-wearing Tamers and digimon stared at Beelzebumon stupidly.

      "It's not YOUR fault," Beelzebumon pointed out.  "She'll kill THEM!"

      "..." The four looked at each other blankly, and then back at Beelzebumon.

      "... RIGHT?" Beelzebumon repeated.

      Before the card-clad Tamers and digimon could answer, trumpets suddenly started to blare.  The four paled drastically then ran around quickly to hide all of the painting supplies.

      "PUPIPIPIIII!" Marine Angemon squealed.

      "THE QUEEN'S COMING!  OH DEAR!  OH DEAR!" Guardromon yelped.

      "Oh, what NOW?" Beelzebumon sighed.

      The four quickly scrambled to stand at attention once the paint supplies were hidden as a new group of people walked out from a large, lavish palace into the garden.

      "..." Beelzebumon blinked, then paled drastically.

      Leading the group was none other than Leomon, dressed in regal red garb that made him look as if he were a king.  Perched on his shoulders was none other than Juri, dressed in even fancier regal garb, with red hearts patterned all along her crown and gown.  Even her puppet seemed to be dressed up, although more like a servant than royalty.

      "N-no way!" Beelzebumon whimpered.  "LEOMON!?"

      Skating alongside them was none other than the White Tamer, wearing a sash across her chest that read "Royal Photographer", and a digital camera around her neck.  She played a large and oddly twisted trumpet as she skated along, sounding alarm to everyone who heard it.

      "Halt!" Juri announced as she held up a large scepter in the hand that was without her puppet.

      Instantly the White Tamer stopped playing the trumpet and Leomon halted in his movements.

      "..." Beelzebumon wasn't sure whether to run or not.

      Instantly the four 'cards' bowed before Juri and Leomon, sweating nervously.

      Juri eyed the four with uncharacteristic coldness, and then glanced at Beelzebumon and the painted roses.

      "... Who bought WHITE roses and painted them orange?" she hissed dangerously.

      "Not us!" Kenta yelped.

      "Y-yeah!  We just got here!" Hirokazu yowled.

      "Pupapi!" Marine Angemon added.

      "Please don't chop off our heads, Queen Juri!" Guardromon begged.

      "...  ..." Beelzebumon's mouth moved but no sounds came out.

      "SHE DID IT!" Hirokazu suddenly exclaimed as he pointed at Beelzebumon.

      "WHAT!?" Beelzebumon thundered.

      "Y-yeah!  S-see?  She's covered in paint!" Kenta added, nodding vigorously.

      "BECAUSE I FELL!" Beelzebumon snarled. "It's not my fault whoever you ordered those roses from doesn't know the difference between white and orange, then paints it to cover up their dumbass mistake!"

      "Pipupo papi!" Marine Angemon said.

      "It's not our fault!" Guardromon moaned.

      "SILENCE!" Queen Juri exclaimed before she eyed Beelzebumon.  "Did you really paint my roses orange?"

      "Rawr!" the puppet exclaimed, frighteningly speaking on its own instead of Juri using ventriloquism.  "I bet she did!  She's all orange!  Yip!"

      "NO!" Beelzebumon cried, exasperated.  "I fell!  I was being chased out of the woods, stumbled, and fell!"

      "She did it!" Hirokazu repeated.  "Dude, it's HER fault!"

      "Yeah, not ours!" Kenta added.

      "WHAT!?  Oh, it's ON now!" Beelzebumon snarled, then pointed behind the 'cards'.  "LOOK! They did it!  They even have the paint and brushes ON them!"

      The 'cards' yelped and quickly threw their brushes at Beelzebumon before Queen Juri looked in their direction.

      "Where did those brushes come from?" Queen Juri demanded as she eyed the 'cards'.

      "THEM!  They threw them at me!" Beelzebumon snarled.

      "I dunno...  Yip!" the puppet mused.  "They're all on you, little girl.  Yap!"

      "Because they just THREW 'em at me!" Beelzebumon flailed.

      The White Tamer tilted her head in a cute manner, oddly the shadow that her bangs cast over her face remaining unchanged at the action.  "Aww...  She looks too cute and innocent to have possibly done it," she commented.

      "..." Beelzebumon twitched.

      "Hmm...," Queen Juri rubbed her chin with the puppet.  "You have a point there."

      "Right!  Yip!" the puppet agreed once it was moved away from Queen Juri's chin.  "Yap!  Must be THEIR FAULT!"  It then pointed itself at the 'cards'.

      "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" Queen Juri bellowed as she pointed her scepter at the four.

      Suddenly someone wearing an outfit similar to what Ruki normally wore, save for a black hood that completely covered their head with a familiar strawberry blond ponytail sticking out of the back, arrived, carrying a giant bloody axe.  The person somehow managed to grab all four of the 'cards' at once and immediately started dragging them away.

      "... Dude, this is all your fault," Hirokazu muttered before he and the rest of them were dragged from view.

      "..." Beelzebumon stared and idly wondered if he should feel bad about it, then realized they were trying to have him killed and quickly banished such thoughts.

      There was a sudden flash that caught his attention as the White Tamer took a picture of him with her camera.

      Beelzebumon yelped, then whirled to stare at the White Tamer.

      "... You!" he gasped as it suddenly dawned on him who he was staring at.

      "Yes?" the White Tamer asked cutely as one of her rabbit ears flopped over in an adorable manner.

      "I've been LOOKING for you!" Beelzebumon growled as he stalked towards her.

      "IT IS NOW TIME FOR THE DANCE!" Queen Juri suddenly exclaimed as she raised her scepter into the air.

      "HAH!?" Beelzebumon looked up sharply.

      Suddenly Beelzebumon was glomped onto from behind.

      "DANCE!  DANCE!  RAWR!" the puppet cried.

      "ACK!?" Beelzebumon squeaked with alarm and whirled.

      Standing behind Beelzebumon, with his arms around him, was Dukemon Crimson Mode.

      "May I have this dance?" Dukemon purred as he took Beelzebumon's hands.

      "Whuh?" Beelzebumon's eyes widened.

      Without thought to answer him, Dukemon lead Beelzebumon through the garden into a large, ballroom that had no walls, but pillars supporting its ceiling instead.  Beelzebumon squeaked as he was dragged, his heels digging in to the ground.

      Dukemon ignored the fact that Beelzebumon didn't want to go with him into the ballroom, then held the dress-wearing Mega close as they stood in the middle of the room.

      Beelzebumon stared at Dukemon in shock, unsure if he should kick and scream or simply bite him.  Somehow, he got the impression that doing either would only encourage the insane armored Mega.

      Leomon carried Queen Juri and her puppet into the ballroom as the White Tamer skated alongside him.

      "NOW DANCE!" Queen Juri commanded.

      As if on cue a phantom orchestra started playing a slow symphony, which filled the air with beautiful music.  Dukemon purred at Beelzebumon before he started dragging the reluctant Mega cross the floor in a waltz.

      Leomon lowered Queen Juri from his shoulders until she was standing on her own the ground.  She looked thoughtfully at the pair of Megas before she frowned sharply.

      "Too boring!  I command that you do the tango!" she ordered as she pointed her scepter at the pair.

      "H-hah!?" Beelzebumon stared in alarm at Juri.

      Dukemon purred, his eyes glittering dangerously, as he looked at Beelzebumon, obviously delighted by the prospect.

      "Ack!?" Beelzebumon suddenly felt a sense of dread.

      "Hit it!  Yip!" the puppet chimed in.

      Instantly the music changed from a slow, delightful waltz to a fast-paced throbbing tango rhythm.

      "..." Beelzebumon squeaked as Dukemon started to twirl him about in the seductive, lithe dance that was the tango.  The music strummed loudly in their ears as the two Megas danced, one graceful and elegant while the other mad as spitfire.

      Beside them, Beelzebumon could see that Leomon and Queen Juri were dancing the tango as well, despite the fact it should have been quite awkward considering Leomon was twice the size of his partner.

      Flashes of light filled the air as the White Tamer took pictures of the entire dance with her camera.

      "W-what the-," Beelzebumon muttered, then yowled as Dukemon brushed up against him and twirled him about leisurely.  Irritated, Beelzebumon tried to punch Dukemon in the face but missed as Dukemon snapped him about.

      "Why you...," Beelzebumon growled deep in his throat.

      Dukemon leaned towards Beelzebumon, pressing his body against the other Mega's.  "Wanna taste and touch," Dukemon purred as he leaned close enough that his face was mere inches from Beelzebumon's.

      "...!" Beelzebumon's eyes widened drastically as he squirmed to back away.

      "May I cut in?"

      "What the-?" Beelzebumon blinked and glanced to see who owned the voice, slightly pale.

      Beelzebumon had no time to react as a giant pair of hands grabbed from behind and yanked him out of Dukemon's grasp.

      Saint Galgomon held Beelzebumon as if he were a doll as he started to dance, looking more like a rabbit than a dog than usual.  The giant Mega smirked as he danced Beelzebumon about and held him close.

      "AAACK!" Beelzebumon stared down at the floor, kicking helplessly as he was held far above the ground.  "What happened to YOU!?"  He paused, then scowled.  "... Lemme guess.  Good tea?"

      "Of course," the March Saint Galgomon smiled as he dipped Beelzebumon.

      "May I cut in?"

      "Eh?" Beelzebumon blinked and stared down at the ground.

      "Momentai," the March Saint Galgomon responded as he passed off Beelzebumon to the Mad Jenrya who stood at the giant Mega's feet.

      Beelzebumon blinked at the Mad Jenrya, who was suddenly just the right size for him.  Normally, Beelzebumon was at least twice his size.

      "... Did I shrink or did you get taller?" Beelzebumon asked, very bewildered.

      "Momentai!" the March Saint Galgomon responded.

      "Good tea," the Mad Jenrya shrugged before he twirled Beelzebumon about.

      "Eeeyah!" Beelzebumon squeaked as he and the Mad Jenrya danced, the Mega helpless to get away.

      Nearby, the Big Bad Yamaki clicked his lighter and regarded another little girl almost seductively.

      Well, well, if it isn't Little Red Riding Ryo," The Big Bad Yamaki rumbled, his tail swishing.

      The 'little girl' turned to glare at the Big Bad Yamaki, revealing 'herself' to be Ryo wearing a big red cape and holding a basket of goodies.

      "Grandma told me not to talk to STRANGERS," Little Red Riding Ryo snorted.

      "We're not strangers," the Big Bad Yamaki crooned as he sauntered in closer to Little Red Riding Ryo.  "I know your name after all."

      "... You have a point...," Little Red Riding Ryo tapped his chin, innocently.

      The Big Bad Yamaki moved in even closer, grinning wickedly, but just before he could do anything, a large handbag whacked him over the head and knocked him back.

      "Grrrrrrrr!"

      "Hello, Grandma!" Ryo quipped, cheerfully.

      'Grandma' was, in fact, Cyberdramon wearing a nightgown, a hair cap, and a pair of spectacles.  'She' growled in a feral manner at Big Bad Yamaki, twirling 'her' handbag.

      "I thought you were sick," the Big Bad Yamaki groaned as he rubbed the bump on his head.

      "GRRRR!" Grandma responded.

      "She got better," Little Red Riding Ryo translated.

      "May I cut in?"

      "Not again!" Beelzebumon whimpered.  "Who is it NOW?"

      Beelzebumon's new dance partner turned out to be none other than Leomon who gave the Mega a cat-like smile.  Beelzebumon paled as horror and dread flooded his body, drowning out all conscious thought.

      Leomon purred as he led Beelzebumon around the ballroom, twirling and swirling the Mega about in an elegant manner.

      Nearby Queen Juri seemed to be dancing with her puppet, which was apparently leading.

      Beelzebumon's mind was a total blank as he danced with the very Digimon he had killed in the Digital World.  He had no idea how to respond as guilt flooded his body; Leomon was dancing with him, apparently oblivious to his sane counterpart's fate.

      "It's my turn now!"

      "Hah...?" Beelzebumon whimpered.

      Suddenly Beelzebumon was released from Leomon's grasp, and turned over to Queen Juri and her puppet.  Unlike when the Mad Jenrya danced with Beelzebumon, Queen Juri was still more than half the Mega's height, which made dancing with her quite awkward.  The queen didn't seem to care, however, as she lead Beelzebumon in a sultry tango with surprising strength.

      "May I have a turn?"

      Beelzebumon once again found himself unsure as to whether to struggle or not, then blinked and looked up.  "Hah?"

      The White Tamer cutely peered at Beelzebumon and Queen Juri, somehow managing to look absolutely adorable despite the fact that the shadow cast by her bangs still kept most of her face from being seen.

      "Pretty please?" the White Tamer asked as one ear flopped down in front of her face.

      "Yes, please!" Beelzebumon yelped, suddenly aware of how close he was to escaping the lunatics.

      Queen Juri eyed the White Tamer then Beelzebumon before she puffed out her cheeks slightly in a pout.

      "The dance is now over!" she announced.

      "Time for the games!  RAWR!" the puppet cried.

      "H-hey!" Beelzebumon cried out, then yelped as Queen Juri proceeded to drag him from the ballroom out in to the garden once more.

      The music instantly halted as everyone ceased dancing before they followed Queen Juri and Beelzebumon into the garden.

      "W-wait! I...," Beelzebumon yelped as he stumbled and was dragged rather firmly outside.

      The ballroom gave way to a massive field, covered with little steel hoops in the ground.  The hoops were set in a series, followed by a wooden stick, and seemed to create an obstacle course.

      Lounging about the grounds were none other than the Devas, only smaller than they were normally, and numerous Digignomes.

      "W-w-what!?" Beelzebumon stared.

      "GRAB YOUR STICK!" Queen Juri commanded as she released Beelzebumon and grabbed Makuramon.  She held him by the feet and bopped his head against the ground, then swung him, testing.

      Beelzebumon paused, then stared at the other Devas.  They stared back, and then shrugged.

      "I do believe this one suits you best, dear lady," Leomon said as he picked up Indramon by his feet and extended him to Beelzebumon.  Oddly enough, the large horse Deva didn't seem to weigh anything at all as Leomon held him.

      Beelzebumon blinked, then slowly grabbed on to Indramon's legs and swung him a bit.  He blinked and boggled at how light the digimon felt.

      "Nice swing.  Bend your knees more, though," Indramon commented.

      "..." Beelzebumon sweat-dropped.

      "Rawr!  Are the balls ready?  Yip!" the puppet asked the White Tamer as she gathered up the Digignomes and handed one to each of the croquet players once they had gathered their 'sticks'.

      The White Tamer looked around once all of the Digignomes had been distributed to everyone except Beelzebumon.  "Oh my, oh dear!  We're short one ball!" she gasped.

      "PREPARE A SUBSTITUTE!" Queen Juri bellowed.

      "Allow me," the Mad Jenrya said before he dropped the DorCulumon into the White Tamer's hands.

      "Has the ball been thoroughly prepared?" Queen Juri eyed the DorCulumon as he danced and sang in the White Tamer's arms.

      "Yes, we fed it thirteen pixie sticks," the Mad Jenrya answered.

      "Make it fourteen!" Queen Juri commanded.

      "Of course, your majesty," the White Tamer nodded before she pulled a giant pixie stick out of her leotard, which shouldn't have been able to fit inside of it in the first place.  The DorCulumon eagerly gobbled down the pixie stick in short order, paper and all.

      "... Oh, this is going to be sweet," Beelzebumon purred.  "I get to hit Culumon with the very Deva who made a fool of me!"

      The White Tamer then skated over to Beelzebumon with the DorCulumon as he wiggled in her arms.

      "Here you go," she said cheerfully, bowed forward slightly, as she presented the DorCulumon to Beelzebumon.

      Beelzebumon blinked, then smirked and made to grab the White Tamer when he noticed something.

      He could see right down her leotard.

      "...  ...  ..." Beelzebumon's eyes widened.

      The White Tamer tilted her head slightly, an innocent smile on her face.  After a few moments she dropped the DorCulumon into Beelzebumon's hands after he didn't make a move to grab the miniature digimon.

      "Have fun!" she chirped before she quickly skated off.

      Beelzebumon's grip tightened around DorCulumon, almost crushing him, as he stared after the White Tamer.  The DorCulumon squealed and flailed; waving his arms and legs rapidly.

      "ACKACKACKACKACKACKACK!" he squeaked, his speech as rapid as his movements.

      "..." Beelzebumon twitched.  "... I missed her again!"

      "OWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIEOWIE!" the DorCulumon squealed.  "NOTSOHARDYOURHURTINGMEANDITHURTSALOT!!"

      "..." Beelzebumon gave DorCulumon a squeeze before he relaxed his grip, however slightly.  "... Eh."

      The DorCulumon squeaked like a rubber ball when Beelzebumon gave him a squeeze before he took a rapid series of breaths.

      "MeaniemeanmeanmeanMEAN!" the DorCulumon pouted at Beelzebumon.

      "Whatever," Beelzebumon growled.  "Just wait until I hit you a few times."

      "Ifyou'remeanthenIwon'tplaywithyou!" the DorCulumon crossed his arms with a 'humph' and looked away from Beelzebumon.

      "..." Beelzebumon simply smirked.

      Beelzebumon leaned over to put DorCulumon on the ground, looking forward to beating the little Digimon around with his 'putter'.  He never got the chance, however, as his skirt was suddenly flipped up from behind.

      "EYAH!?" Beelzebumon whirled, clamping down on his backend to push down the skirt as he did so.

      "Oooh, someone's a naughty girl," the Big Bad Yamaki smirked as he flicked his lighter.  "Such wicked black panties you wear."

      "WHAT?!" Beelzebumon thundered.  "YOU AGAIN!?"

      Instead of answering, the Big Bad Yamaki merely flipped up Beelzebumon's skirt again as the front was now vulnerable while the Mega held it down from behind.

      Beelzebumon yowled and snapped his hands about to hold down his front, then backed away slowly.

      Suddenly Beelzebumon's skirt was yet again flipped up from behind.

      "ACK!?" Beelzebumon whirled, alarmed.

      "He's right, those are naughty black panties," the Mad Jenrya commented calmly.

      "YOU!?" Beelzebumon stared in shock.

      Before the Mad Jenrya could respond, Beelzebumon's skirt was flipped yet again.

      Beelzebumon yowled and jumped away, glancing over his shoulder to see who was responsible.

      "Woof!  Kinky, KINKY black panties!" Queen Juri's puppet commented after it let go of Beelzebumon's skirt.

      "I agree, Knave Puppet," Queen Juri nodded.  "So VERY kinky!"

      "H-hey now!" Beelzebumon backed away, suddenly very nervous.

      Before he could get far, his skirt was suddenly flipped up from behind once again.

      "Momentai," the March Saint Galgomon commented.

      "G-GAH!" Beelzebumon ran across the field, trying to escape.

      Unfortunately he ended up running directly into Dukemon.

      "Wanna see panties!" Dukemon crooned before he flipped Beelzebumon's skirt.

      "NO!" Beelzebumon yowled and kicked Dukemon, then fumbled back and fell on the ground in a heap.

      Dukemon grunted at the kick, then purred at Beelzebumon.  "Yummy panties," the crimson Mega said, his voice sounding quite hungry.

      "...!" Beelzebumon stared up at Dukemon, horrified.

      "OFF WITH HER DRESS!" Queen Juri exclaimed as she pointed her scepter at Beelzebumon.

      "HAH!?!" Beelzebumon scrambled back a bit.  "WHAT!?  NO!"

      "RAWR!  OFF WITH HER DRESS!" Knave Puppet agreed.

      "It's stayin' ON!" Beelzebumon hissed.

      "OFF WITH HER DRESS!" Queen Juri repeated.  Eager to obey the queen's command, the insane partygoers approached Beelzebumon, intent upon doing just that.

      "NO!" Beelzebumon fumbled up and ran, desperate to escape the insane people.