Lick My Lollipop

By: Witch Baby

A/N: This is a result of Rainbow PenisPops at Spencer's, a late night phone conversation with my bff Mizuki, and reading waaaaaaay to much SasuNaru. Enjoy the randomness my friends.

Warnings: Dirty thoughts about lollipops. No smex though.

"I wanna li-li-li-lick you from your head to your toes,

And I wanna move from the bed down, to the down to the, to the floor,

I wanna ah-ah, you make it so good I don't wanna leave,

But I got to kn-kn-kn-know your fantasy..."

"I really don't understand why we can't get him a damn gift-card or something."

"My god you are such a frigid bastard! Isn't this fun?"

Onyx eyes glared down into sky blue, the expression saying 'I am not amused.' Naruto rolled his eyes, ignoring the dark glares as he glanced around at the various shop windows in the local mall. "Gift-cards are impersonal. Kiba is my best friend and I want to get him something special."

Sasuke huffed in annoyance. "We've been walking around for hours. Just buy him something and be done with it."

Naruto pouted, blue eyes shining with unshed tears as he turned to face the dark haired male. "B-but Sasu-kuuuuuun, I want it to be just perfect!"

The Uchiha snorted at the blond's play of 'cuteness'. "That may work on your teachers, but you should know better then to think it would work on me."

Naruto sighed, crossing his arms. "Well your no fun. Why do I date you again?"

Sasuke smiled suggestively. "I'd be more then happy to remind you of that if we could just leave..."

Naruto smirked. "Well if you stop bitching every 10 steps, then maybe we could get done faster. Now, ONWARD PACK-MULE!"

Sasuke frowned again as he begrudgingly followed his boyfriend into another random store, this one bearing a neon multi-colored sign with the name 'Spencer's'. One look at the techno lights and disco balls and the raven knew his headache would be increasing. Trying to tune out the obnoxious pop music, he contented to watch his blond's hot little backside, thinking about all the things he would do to it once the god-forsaken shopping trip for Kiba's birthday present was over.

That was until the words 'stripper pole' leaving his boyfriends lip's broke through his concentration. "Wait, what?"

Naruto pointed to something towards the back of the store, and black eyes read over the brightly colored sale sign. "'Portable stripper pole'? Seriously?"

"I know right! Kiba would love that but I know Hinata would freak..."

Sasuke was still trying to dislodge the image of Naruto's flexible body upside down on the pole to really pay attention to whatever Naruto was babbling about. Just what kind of store were they in? He followed Naruto as they traveled farther into the back of the store, paying more attention to his surroundings. T-shirts with things like 'I Like Boobies' or 'Fang-Banger' written on them, obscene and juvenile bumper stickers and signs. The Uchiha looked around in mild distaste. Yeah, they would definitely find something for Kiba in here. He could hear Naruto trying hard not to laugh hysterically at some candy bra and nipple tassels. Those two where so alike in their childish pranks and cheap humor. Sometimes Sasuke wondered why he still dated Naruto.

He glanced over to see a pair of handcuffs dangling from Naruto's hand.

Oh yeah, that's why...

"Neh, Sasuke. Maybe we can get Choji to date a chick if we maker her dress up in the edible panties!"

Naruto giggled as Sasuke grimaced. "And thank you so much for that lovely mental image. I really appreciate it. Ug, I think I just threw up a little."

Sasuke continued to look around, tuning out Naruto's insistent chatter about rainbow nipple rings. He just wanted out of this store, even with the lovely ideas the stripper pole gave. He would just rather be in his quiet home, doing not so quiet things with a certain blue eyed, blond. He would give Naruto thirty more minuets before he was forced to drag the young male out of the store and-

"What the hell?" he cursed in surprise as something brightly colored and wrapped in plastic was waved in front of his eyes.

"Spacing out Sasuke? If your bored I've got a treat right here to keep you busy~"

The Uchiha glared first at his boyfriend, then at the innocent piece of sugary confection in his hand.

Well, maybe 'innocent' wasn't the best word to use. After all it was shaped as a...

"…Is that a penis shaped lollipop?"

"Yep! There's also a penis shaped baking pan for cake!"

"...And its rainbow colored?"

"Kind of ironic, huh?"

"Only when you hold it."

Naruto pouted. "Well it'd be even funnier if you eat it."

Sasuke smirked, dark eyes flashing with amusement. "Well with how enthusiastic you where last night, you would enjoy it more."

Naruto glared, his expression something Sasuke found completely adorable, before striding up to the PenisPop display and plucking out a blue one. "Well, this is the only one you'll be familiar with is you keep talking like that, bastard."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Its not my fault your so good at sucking on my lollipop."

"Lollipops are the only thing I'm gonna be sucking on if you don't shut up!" he huffed in irritation. That amused smirk on his boyfriends face did not mean well for him.

"Is that supposed to be a threat or a promise?" the raven asked.

Huffing in irritation, Naruto walked straight through the mall into the outside towards their car, grumbling about 'stupid horny Uchiha's ruining my shopping trips', while a very entertained Sasuke followed behind.


A/N: And they still didn't find Kiba a gift...

By the way, the song was added totally last minuet. I had sent this off to a friend to proof-read and she was all "Isn't there a song about sex and lollipops?". One short trip Googleville later and whatdaya' know! There is! In fact, there are a lot of rap songs about licking and candy stores and what not. But I love the one by Ludacris the best. Though that one by Lil' Wayne is still stuck in my head... *shakes fist at sky* Damn you Lil' Wayne!

Review chicklets! It produces more plot bunnies! :D