A/N This is a little Naomily oneshot set within the time frame of 99 Problems. For anyone who hasn't been reading that here's the background. Naomi and Emily have just come back from holiday and Naomi has been invited to a Fitch Family dinner for the first time. Katie has just admitted to them that she's been sleeping with Effy, though the rest of the family doesn't know.

If you have been reading 99, this is the reason Naomi and Emily were so pleased with themselves during dinner.

It is dedicated to Vangoghgurrl, for no other reason than I believe she may be quite fond of Emily Fitch.

I don't own Skins, but I would like to thank the people that do for the wonderful six seater table that we all know and love.



Six Seater Table


From paradise to purgatory in less than a day. This time yesterday I was still looking out over an azure blue ocean with the warm island sun beating down on my back. The most beautiful woman in the world was still sporting a skimpy little sundress that gave me ample opportunities to perve on her perfectly tanned body, instead of being wrapped in impenetrable layers of protection against the British weather that formed an infuriating barrier between me and her oh so edible flesh. And yet less than twenty four hours later here I was walking down a gloomy street in Brockley being battered by hailstones, yep that's right, fucking hailstones on my way to meet London's most homophobic nightmare, Jenna Fitch, in an attempt to repair Emily's ragged relationship with her mum. Yeah, I might be moaning about it, but in the end I went willingly. For her. For the owner of tiny hand whose fingers were currently interlocked with mine. The hand that kept giving mine little squeezes of reassurance, though whether it was to reassure me or herself remained unclear. Either way, we didn't do much talking. I think we were both as nervous as shit.

"Well, here we are," said Emily, pausing in front of an ordinary looking house on an ordinary looking street. "Fucking Fitch Towers."

We stood there holding hands for several minutes before even beginning to approach the door, despite the hail that was slowly transforming into heavy rain. I had no idea what we were doing here so fucking early anyway. Sunday dinner was a good few hours away, and Katie had still been sleeping soundly in the arms of her girlfriend by the time we left the flat. Did Emily seriously think that more bonding time between me and Jenna was going to help? Last time I had met her she called me a peroxide deviant, a slag and a perverted little queer. I had promised myself I would be good, that I was there for Emily, and I wouldn't rise to any of Jenna's bait. But it was going to be difficult. Last time I had simply been too shocked to react, growing up with my wonderful hippy of a mother had pretty much insulated me from any kind of bigotry. But this time it was going to be harder to bite my tongue, especially if she started in on Em.

"Come on then," she smiled bravely, giving my hand one last squeeze. "Once more unto the breach."

She turned her key in the door, and pulled us both inside.

"Hmmm, nice to know she never actually changed the locks on me," she laughed, shrugging her coat of and hanging it up, before coming over and doing the same for me. My heart contracted as `I realised there was just enough irony in her voice for this to have been a real possibility, or maybe an actual threat. I tried to imagine how it would feel for Gina have rejected me like that, but I couldn't even begin to get there. Her door was always open for anyone who was in need or trouble, and I knew she would always be there for me no matter what. It made me wonder how Ems had managed to turn into the incredible woman she was, considering the pain she'd had to go through.

Oh Em. Em. I followed her through into the open plan living room/dining area, not forgetting to take a sneaky little peek at her bum in that skirt as we went. I couldn't help it, she fucking entranced me. Emily. Emily Fitch. I was still so stupidly in love with her that even just saying her name in my mind sent shudders through my lower torso and sped up the beat of my heart. I still got butterflies if I caught a sudden glance of her doing something cute. I still got the shivers every time I heard that husky voice. And I still felt like I was the luckiest woman alive every time I woke up to find her lying there beside me. I still had these uncontrollable urges just to reach over and play with her hair. I still got a fuzzy feeling in my tummy every time I made her laugh. I still felt slightly uneasy when her and Cook would get drunk and start bantering about girls. I wash awash with emotions every time I was around her, and that was pretty much all the time these days. It was so un-Naomi like, or at least not like the persona I had created for myself before she came.

Such wonderful defences so I had thought, but Emily had smashed through them in one fell swoop like the Mighty Eagle in Angry Birds, and I was left with nothing but my trembling heart held out to her in shaky hands to do with as she pleased. But I had long since given up worrying about how easily she could break me, cause from the moment we first kissed she has shown me nothing but a love so beautiful and complete I could barely believe it existed. We've hardly even argued, let alone had a full blown row. The closest we came to it was when she stormed off in Brighton, and that was because of Jenna, it didn't even really have anything to do with us. I know they had been talking on the phone quite a lot and their war seemed to have temporarily abated as they worked out the terms of an uneasy ceasefire. But there was still a lot of work to be done before they achieved anything like a reconciliation. This was the next step I suppose, to see if Jenna could actually cope with the reality of me, instead of the idea of me at the other end of a phone call. I wanted it to go well for Emily's sake, and I had tried to tell her I would be on my best behaviour.

"Don't you dare," she had replied. "I don't want you to behave any differently towards me because of her. If she's going to see it, she has to fucking see it for real."

"Ok, ok," I had replied, trying to placate her. "I'm just saying, yeah? I'm not exactly going to be sticking my tongue down your throat in front of her."

"I wish you would," laughed Emily, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

There was definitely a streak of the devil in my girl. And she could be so fucking stubborn. She didn't just want hostilities to cease. She wanted to win the war on her terms. She wanted full surrender.

I looked up to see her reading some kind of note that had been left on the counter that separated the living and dining areas.

"Aha!" she said triumphantly. "Just as I suspected. Perfect."

"Nobody's here," I said, registering the note, and the fact that no one had come to greet us.

"Exactly," said Ems, turning back round to face me.

"Then what are we doing here?" I asked. "We could have stayed in bed."

"I have a plan," she said cryptically. "But I need your help."

"What plan? What do I need to do?"

"Actually, It's more of an evil scheme," she grinned, before breaking out into a theatrical guffaw. She looked so fucking adorable doing her evil mastermind laugh, I simply had to close the gap between us and wrap her in my arms.

"You are the cutest girlfriend ever," I told her, kissing the top of her head, before pulling back to stare into her eyes.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked, already knowing I would do anything she fucking wanted.

I don't know how she does it, but I fucking watched it happen. In a matter of seconds Emily transformed from the cutest girlfriend ever into her darker alter-ego – the filthiest woman alive. A few subtle changes to her body language and the glint in her eye and my red hot sex tornado was back with a vengeance. A sudden wave of heat crashed through my body, and I was ensnared as completely as a small rodent mesmerised by a dancing cobra. All I could do was stare, and wait to get bit.

"I want you to fuck me," she said.

Damn you, Emily Fitch and you're bloody husky sex growl.

"We could have done that back at Katie's" I said nervously.

"No, it has to be here," she replied confidently.

I knew what she was doing. This would be the ultimate act of rebellion, having hot girl sex in Jenna's house. A big fuck you for all the shit she had put her through. It wasn't exactly the most mature of behaviours, but there was something about this conflict that brought out the angry teenager in Em. I opened my mouth to say something to that effect, but before I even got the words out, I was silenced by the feel of Emily's lips on mine. Which effectively ended any attempt at protest. There was something about Emily Fitch that brought out the horny teenager in me. She ran her tongue along my bottom lip, and I think I made some ridiculous grunting sound at the sensation. Emily took full advantage of my parted lips to dart her tongue into my mouth, and her delicate touch had immediate repercussions between my thighs.

"Oh God," I groaned, pulling away from the kiss before my legs gave way beneath me.

"Fuck me," commanded Emily, causing me to capitulate immediately.

"Ok," I said breathlessly, grabbing her hand and pulling away from the counter. "Where's the bedroom?"

Emily refused to move and I was yanked to a halt as our arms reached full extension.

"I wanna do it down here," she said forcefully.

She tugged me back towards her and I was powerless to resist. Emily being dominant is just so fucking hot. But somewhere in the back of my brain, a tiny niggle managed to claw its way to the surface.

"What if someone comes home and finds us?" I said. "Your mother will never forgive me."

"Dad's team from the gym are playing a football match," she laughed. "They've all gone to watch. It should be kicking off just about now, so we've got at least two hours. That long enough for you?"

She took our still joined hands and shoved them up her skirt, releasing mine for long enough to turn it round and push it against the dampened fabric of her knickers.

"Oh my fucking God," I said as I felt how wet she was already.

"God's got nothing to do with this little arrangement," she said, removing her hand, but trapping mine between her thighs. She reached up and dragged me by the hair into a passionate kiss, whilst thrusting her hips towards me.

"Do me, baby. Do me hard," she growled into my ear. "I want this to be fucking scandalous."

"Fuck yes," I cried, shoving her back against the counter. Animal Naomi was out of the cage. My hands were all over her, squeezing her tits and her ass, and tearing at the buttons on her blouse. I sucked and bit desperately at her neck, and all the time she was laughing the filthiest laugh. What Emily Fitch wants, Emily Fitch gets.

"Not here," she said suddenly, once I had managed to wrench open the front of her top and had my hands on both of her tits, squeezing them together as I shoved my face in between, but I was too focussed on my prize to stop.

"I said not here," she repeated, grabbing the back of my hair and yanking me from her cleavage.

"Wuhunhhh," I burbled. Forming words was clearly not what I wanted to be doing with my mouth right then.

Her hand still in my hair she turned us both round so we were facing into the dining area.

"There," she said triumphantly. "I want you to take me on the table. I want you to shag my fucking brains out on the fucking six-seater table."

The vision of her writhing underneath me as I fucked her on the table top brought my blood to boiling point. I bent down and grabbed her legs, picking her up and throwing her over my shoulder, carrying her to our destination. She shrieked with laughter.

"God you make me so fucking hot for you when you pull shit like that," she said once I had deposited her on the edge of the table.

"This has to go," I said, pushing the sleeves of her blouse off her shoulders, breathing heavily as I saw the way her cobalt blue bra pushed her breasts up in a most appealing fashion.

"This is new," I said appreciatively, running my fingers under the edge of the silky fabric and causing her to gasp.

"I borrowed it off Katie," she admitted. "So it would, you know…match."

"Match what?" I said hungrily.

Emily flashed her eyes at me, raising her eyebrows suggestively before looking down towards her skirt. God, I had to fucking know what was under there. I reached around the back of her, and fumbled with the zip of her skirt before finally getting it undone and pushing her back down onto the table so I could drag the garment from her legs. I deliberately shut my eyes until I had tossed her skirt aside. When I opened them I was met with the jaw dropping sight of Emily lying on the table in stockings and suspenders, propped up on her elbows with an inviting look in her eye.

"Take your clothes off," she told me. "I want to feel your flesh."

I stripped down to my underwear with all the speed of an Olympic sprinter. It wasn't a patch on Emily's classy ensemble but it would have to do. I needed to get my hands on her body as soon as possible. I hopped onto the table and crawled up her body, sliding my knee down against her groin until it met my upper thigh.

"Now fuck me," she said, her eyes as black as night.

I kissed her hard, forcing her mouth open with my tongue and reaching deep inside her until I could feel the metal of her piercing against my flesh. I ground down into her hips and she arched her back towards me. Taking advantage of the space created, I slipped my hand underneath her and quickly undid her bra. I laughed to myself at how much of an expert I had become at that. Cook would be proud of me. I pulled the garment away from her body and immediately pressed my mouth around one of her breasts. She groaned and bucked beneath me as I bit her nipple. Hard. I knew what she wanted from me and it wasn't soft tender love making. I had been in this place with her before, and I knew she wanted it fierce and furious and filthy and scandalous. And dangerous. I also knew there was a part of her was secretly wishing that her family would come home early and find us at it like animals on the dining room table. It was a fucking massive turn on. I shoved my hand roughly down the front of her knickers to feel the liquid evidence of her desire. As soon as my fingers touched her wetness I wanted to rip those knickers from her body. I wanted to tear them off with my teeth. The only thing that stopped me was the thought of having to admit my crimes to Katie, and replace the probably criminally expensive lingerie.

Reluctantly I pulled my hand away, so I could draw back and carefully remove the offending item. Much as I hated myself for being such a cliché, Ems looked so fucking hot in her suspenders, I had to stop for a moment so I could seal the image in my mind. Emily reached out towards me.

"I need you, Naoms," she cried.

Instinctively I reached between her thighs and pushed two fingers deep inside her.

"Oh shitfuck, yeah, that's what I fucking want, babe," she said raggedly, her eyes rolling back in her head.

I stayed on my knees, my free hand laid on her belly so I could feel her undulations and watch as she thrust her hips against me. It was fucking beautiful. She was fucking beautiful, her muscles taut as she gripped the sides of the table to give herself more leverage, already breaking into a sweat as she worked her body just as hard as me.

"Harder," she cried. "Just fucking take me."

I slid myself back down against her body, sliding one arm around her back and pulling her tight to me, my mouth conveniently placed to suck and bite her tits, and started to push harder into her small but powerful form, rejoicing in the gorgeous wet hotness of her pussy. She moaned and dragged her nails down my back. It hurt so much I knew she must be drawing blood, but I didn't care. I loved Emily when she was like this, she was just so fucking primal. The raw force of her sexuality might have been shocking to some people, but to me it was so pure and so exhilarating. However hungry she was, however hard she wanted me, I would break my fucking back to give her what she needed. Every groan and cry and thrust made me fuck her more aggressively, and I found myself crying out just as earnestly as her.

"Fuck you feel so fucking good," she yelled. "Come here and fucking kiss me."

I shifted my weight so I could take her mouth with mine, and she pulled my head down onto her, opening herself so I could dominate her with my tongue, her stifled screams increasing the pleasure between her legs. I pushed in and out of her faster, my hand completely soaked in her juices. As she pushed back her thigh rubbed against my clit starting to bring me up on my own high.

"Oh fuck, you're fucking beautiful," I gasped.

I wanted to write her eloquently moving poetry, wonderfully expressing every last detail of exactly how much she meant to me, but I knew that no amount of stupid words would ever be able to come close to half of what I felt. So I settled for curving my fingers and slamming into her as hard as I fucking could. Her screams became more intense, and the pressure was building inside my own blood swollen clit, making it hard for me to focus, but I had to stick to my task. I needed to make Emily come, more than I needed to breathe. Our eyes suddenly met and we locked gazes, the intensity of the passion I saw there nearly killing me. Even in the most violent furies of our sex, the connection between us was deep and elemental.

"Fuck, I'm gonna….shit," she cried in a pre-orgasmic rapture. "Fuck, I love you."

It was her words that tipped me over, and I screamed unashamedly as my own cataclysmic orgasm ripped through my body. I could hear the pitch of Em's screams change. I felt her cunt closing around me and knew she was coming with me as our bodies thrashed together on the table in the final throes. I'm surprised we didn't break the fucking thing. A lesser table would have collapsed under the strain.

Finally our bodies gave out on us and we fell back into an exhausted tangle of limbs against the hard wooden surface.

"Holy fucking shit," said Emily breathlessly. "You were….you were…."

"Scandalous enough for you?" I quipped smugly. I could never help but feel full of myself when I made her come that hard. I made to pull out of her, but she clenched her muscles around my fingers.

"Don't you fucking dare," she said. "You're not going anywhere."

She held me, with my fingers still inside her, and we kissed sweet lazy kisses until the sweat began to chill on our skin.

"Thank you," she smiled at me.

"You're welcome," I replied. "Any time you need someone to fuck you on your mother's furniture, you know who to call."

"I know it's a petty victory," she laughed at herself. "But that's been a fantasy of mine for years. You have no idea how many times I've sat at this fucking table being told that I'm not gay, that I'm being stupid, that I'm making it up. Listening to my girlfriends being insulted. Listening to my Mum bang on about some lovely boy she's just met who would be perfect for me. Watching her eyes light up every time I mentioned a male name. Jesus, you should have seen her when I first met Cook. I only said the words 'I met a really cool guy' and she had us married off with fat grandchildren in the offing."

She placed her hand over my heart.

"But this," she said. "This wipes all of that away, cause every time I sit here now, I can think about you fucking me blind up here, and remember that I'm beautiful and that no one can take away from me who I really am."

"Which is a horny little fucker with an excellent taste in women," I teased.

"Which is Naomi Campbell's bitch," she laughed.

"Which is the sex tornado of doom," I parried.

"Which is one kick-ass fanny magnet."

"Which is one greedy sex tyrant," I laughed. "Do you think I can have my hand back now before it falls off?"

"I suppose so," she relented, opening her legs to free me, and moaning slightly as I pulled out.

"Still I guess she finally does have to admit, I'm a lesbian now," said Ems. "Seeing as she has invited my girlfriend to dinner."

"Yeah," I said. "It'll be Katie's turn in the shit seat next."

"Oh fuck," said Emily softly. "Poor Katie."

"Maybe I should give Effy a heads up on the whole sex seater table thing," I suggested.

Emily's stunning smile made me feel like I was back in the beautiful sunshine again. I drew my hand absent-mindedly up towards my face, and when I smelt the glorious scent of my lover, I couldn't help myself from licking away the residue of her juices. Emily broke out into a cheekily evil chuckle.

"What?" I challenged her. "I fucking love the taste of you."

"Yeah," she grinned wildly. "It's the best fucking thing you'll ever taste at this table."