note: Hi! First Inuyasha fic, hello hello. Let's see if it amount to anything more than this.
Some notes: Very dramatic beginning. I know. This is supposed to be funny, but I am not a funny writer. It will get more humorous, methinks. Also: The voice. Totally ridiculous and unlikely. But, Inuyasha? Is also often ridiculous and unlikely. I love it all the same.
Finally: I like to write in little pieces. This will not be a one two three story. I am thinking drabbles that lead to an end.
chapter one: chances
He knew he was asleep because Kagome was smiling at him.
Loss is a heavy thing, a solid reality, and he could feel it even here, in his dreamworld. It was reminding him – even as Kagome laughed, smiled, said his name – that this was not real, could not be real, because Kagome was gone and his heart could not be tricked by the cheap imitations his brain played behind his eyes.
It had been a year. Twelve months, 365 day. One year ago, they had triumphed. One year ago, he had stood on her side on the well, felt that pull, that ache – and known. It had been one of the most painful moments of his bitter history – because as he had stood there, 500 years ahead of his time, looking at an overjoyed Kagome who was surrounded by her loving family, who had just been more unselfish than any who had come before her, who had spent so much of her short life sacrificing for everyone and realized… Realized that she deserved the chance to live a life of her choosing.
He let her go.
It had hurt.
It hurt still.
It hurt every second, every hour, even as the hours stretched to weeks that stretched to months that stretch to too long.
He tries very, very hard not to be selfish.
She is with her family, she is with her friends, she is going to that school she loves so much and she is learning about the world. She is growing up, she is growing wise, she is safe amid the hub of people and machines, the never-ending food and the consistent, strong shelter. She is safe and healthy and she is happy and that is all he wants in the entire world.
(But that is a lie. That is a lie because that is not all Inuyasha wants. Inuyasha wants Kagome, too.)
He is dreaming again, and there is blackness all around, inky and thick, at once suffocating and smooth.
Inuyahsa is reminded of the bowels of the jewel, of those moments of pounding terror, and memory of panic makes the blankness a nightmare.
Then there is a voice, and it is everything.
"You are fated for her."
There is no body for his to move, but Inuyasha's mind searches for the source of the sound. It is futile, and there is a pressure in his chest. He tries to wake up, but the darkness has settled over him, thick and confining.
The voice speaks again, huge and everywhere, everything.
"You will have another chance, if you choose to take it."
Inuyasha stops his struggling against nothing, focuses on the words and the meaning. This is a dream, this is his own mind, this is nothing and he will not remember it by dinner tomorrow. But hope burns warm in his belly, a hot wild thing, and he is desperation feels like belief. Why? he wonders. How? And then, fervent, desperate, tinted by memories of warm eyes and soft fingers, Please, I need her.
The voice seems to hear.
"It will not be easy. She will not know you."
Again, Inuyasha is confused. But Kagome's face is smiling in his mind's eye, and he is thinking that the voice is a fool, because he knows her and she knows him and theirs is a bond than runs deeper than knowledge and truer than memory. Yes, he thinks, projecting the emotion of acceptance, even though he doesn't know what he is getting himself into.
There are no more words, but the darkness impossibly shifts in agreement.
Inyuasha wakes up easily.
The not-quite dream burns in his eyes, a solid thing, not-feathering away but staying with him. Inuyasha blinks in wonder and confusion. Then he sighs, because his unconscious in taunting him and he hates it.
Something white flicks by his side.
He turns his head. It is a tail.
All of a sudden, everything hits him.
With a yowl, he springs to his feet. His very small, dainty, paws. Around him, the world roars to life, as if could only just hear it. Scents he thought he would never smell again make him dizzy with their foreign force.
He is in Kagome's world.
Everything is too big.
Everything looks a little strange.
Everything feels odd.
With a screaming hiss, Inuyasha realizes what has happened.
The dog boy is a cat.