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Chapter 8 EPOV

The last four weeks had been great. Bella seemed like she was fitting into our schedules just perfectly. She was an uncomplicated person and she seemed quite fond of the twins already. Since I respected my wife's wishes to further her career, all I wanted was for someone to be there for my children who would not only take care of them but also to care for them - genuinely. And to that end Bella did an excellent job.

Angela and I still hadn't gotten to know Bella very well. Quite frankly, the work hours for both of us were so hectic that what little time we had was spent either with the twins, shopping for groceries or sleeping. I did want to try to slow down so that I could get to know Bella more, after all she was caring for my children and other than what I had learned from Angela, well, I didn't know anything about her. After my initial reaction to Bella I didn't go out of my way to spend what little time I did have with her because she made me nervous. I didn't want a replay of any of the feelings I had had the first couple of days she was here. Since that time there had been no time for any untoward thoughts about Bella. Though I did, on occasion, have a flash in my head of how she had looked laying in her bed with her beautiful long hair resting over the pillow. I always pushed those kinds of thoughts to the back of my mind whenever possible.

I also believed that one of the reasons that I found Bella so attractive was 'cause I hardly saw Angela anymore. She had been promoted at work and was making some amazing headway in some important research. We were like ships passing in the night. I can't remember the last time we kissed more than a peck on the cheek. Certainly not since well before the twins' birth. I would have to talk to her about making some alone time for us soon.

I also needed to arrange for another day off of work so that I could relieve Bella for a day. I had been called in on some emergencies over the last couple of weeks and Bella had filled in like a trooper despite the fact that she worked tirelessly and non-stop while she was on the clock as well. I felt bad that she had had no chance to make any friends or see the city more as she had hoped.

Yesterday I was able to give Bella the good news that I was taking the next day off and that I expected her to be gone all day and enjoy herself. She mentioned that she was taking the El into the city and that she wasn't sure when she would be back but it would be sometime after dinner. She ran up to the twins' room before she left to kiss them goodbye before she left. She really did love my children. It felt good to realize that.

Anyway, I spent the day with the twins and it was so nice. They were more work now but still, they were great babies. I was a very lucky man. Around dinner time I heard the front door open and I could smell the scent of strawberries waft through the hallway; Bella was home. I heard a male voice. Wait a second, a what?

"Thanks so much for the ride, I really appreciate it Jacob." Bella said.

I walked into the hallway to see who she was talking to.

"My pleasure Bella. You made a really boring day something special. So 8 o'clock on Friday?" he asked.

"I look forward to it! Drive safely!" she said. And then she closed the door. When she turned around to head down the hallway toward the basement door she saw me standing there looking at her.

"Oh, hi Edward. Is everything ok with the twins?"

"Ahhh…yea….ahhh…yes everything is fine. Did you have a nice day?" I asked her.

"Well, it was ok. Until I met someone at the Art Museum. Then it turned out to be nice." She replied.

"Whom did you meet?" he asked.

"A guy named Jacob Black. We were looking at the most ridiculous piece of artwork and were commenting on it and I don't know…we just sort of hit it off so we went to get something to eat together and he drove me home." She explained.

"Do you think it was such a good idea to drive with a stranger?" I asked, feeling protective all of a sudden.

"Well, it's definitely not my style and I usually am a bit more paranoid but I followed my instincts on this one tonight and I just have a good feeling about him. My instincts have never been wrong so far," she said, "I hope it was ok that I had someone drop me off at your home?" she wondered.

"Of course Bella, we want you to feel like this is your home. I was just concerned about you getting into a car with a complete stranger." I told her.

"We actually spent most of the day and evening together and before I got in the car with him I texted his license plate number and name to my friend at home just in case." She said.

Wow, that was a great idea actually. I didn't know what to say to that.

"Oh, okay," I mumbled.

"I'm on duty early morning with the twins so I am going to watch a DVD and then head to bed now," she said to me. "Goodnight Edward."

"Yea, goodnight Bella."

I was still irritated. Irritated? No, I was angry. I was angry? No, I was jeal… stop it! No, I was not and I wouldn't even think that word in my head. There was no place for such a thought and I had no right even if there was. I was concerned for her welfare only and that was why I had questioned her. I was happy that she had met someone. She deserved to have friends. Friends? Come on, that was no friend, that was a potential boyfriend. They were going to see each other again on Friday. Maybe she would spend the night at his place after their date and maybe she would let him kiss her and touch her and hold her. What the hell was wrong with me? I must stop this train of thought. Snap out of it Cullen.

It had only gotten this bad because Angela and I haven't been intimate in months and I missed my wife and having sex. Sure Bella is attractive, but if I were getting it regularly I wouldn't be so hard up now to obsess about the young and beautiful woman in my basement.

Well, there was no way I could fall asleep now. I was all worked up. Angela would be home soon though; maybe we could take care of my problem then.

I checked my phone, no messages from Angela. She was really late tonight. I felt bad for my wife. As much as I knew she loved her work I also knew she was missing out on our life together, the twins and just having some down time. I made myself some tea and sat down on the couch to watch some TV.

What seemed hours later, Angela finally came home and woke me up so we could go upstairs together. She looked tired as usual but with a bit of a light in her eyes. Apparently they had had some kind of a breakthrough at work and she was excited. Then she told me what they had planned at work because of the breakthrough. If I thought her schedule was impossible before, well, the new one was suicide. But she didn't complain. She was looking forward to it. She might even be able to collaborate with a colleague and get published. It was what she had always wanted for herself.

As we laid down in the bed I reached for her. She hesitated for a moment and then apologized because her doctor had told her to wait 6 weeks after the twins were born and she hadn't had time to go in for her check up. I would never want to hurt her in any way so I retreated and she fell right to sleep.

Sleep did not come to me easily that night. I decided to get up and take a hot shower, hoping for it to relax me. But as the water cascaded down my back I felt myself get hard without any intention of stopping. I grabbed my cock with my right hand as I placed my left on the tiled wall. I stroked myself up and down, faster and faster, thinking about all the times that Angela and I had made love, fantasizing about her showing up at the hospital and us going into a room or a closet somewhere and hiking up her skirt. Kissing her soft lips and ripping open her shirt so I could touch her breasts, squeezing them until her nipples hardened. All the while kissing her, until we were both breathless. I gripped my cock harder, stroking faster and imagined my hand going up her skirt where she would be pantiless and freeing myself from my scrub pants, hiking her legs around my waist I would plunge into her without ceremony, feeling how tight and ready she was. I jogged her up and down my hard length, hearing her moaning and panting my name the whole time. And as I finally reached my climax I sighed her name in complete and utter ecstasy, "Bella". My heart beat frantically in my chest. I had shocked even myself with whispering that name aloud. I had been thinking of Angela in that fantasy, how did Bella's name come out of my mouth? I had just had an orgasm saying the name of a woman other than my wife. This went beyond mere fantasizing. Not even I could justify this away as I had before.

I stood under the water until it ran cold. I truly did not know what to do. I hardly knew the girl and it seemed that her thought took over every extra minute I had when I wasn't at the hospital or tending to my children.

I had never been in this kind of situation. I didn't know how I felt about Bella, I didn't know if I was having some kind of quarter-life crisis. I just didn't know anything. What I did know was that I was in deep trouble if I didn't take evasive action - soon. This obsessing just was not ok. I didn't want to lose my wife or my children and I surely would if I allowed anything to happen with Bella. That was not the kind of man I was. I had always found extra marital affairs abhorrent. If a man wanted to have an affair then they should end the relationship that they were in right away. It wasn't fair to any party involved. I would do no such thing.

And let's face it. Even if I didn't love my wife, which I did, Bella was too young to know what she wanted in life or in love. I would not be the man to ruin such a sensitive and kind being. And ruin her I would if I, as a married man, acted on these feelings I was having.

No, the only thing to do would be to ignore her to the best of my abilities. She was only working with us for 6 months. I would be sad to see her leave because she was amazing with my children but that was all.

For the next au pair, I would demand a video interview first. I would be damned if I would allow lighting to strike twice in my house!