Dan vs. and it's copyrights does not belong to me quite obviously as this is a mere fanfiction.

Reviewers please be kind. :)

It was an unusually calm morning as Dan slept in his bed, which was to say the least littered with a half empty bag of potato chips, a notebook and several pens along with a copy of 'To kill a Mockingbird'. Dan, thinking it was a how-to book had haphazardly checked it out of the library in hopes of exacting revenge on the noisy bird that had built a bird nest directly outside his bathroom window. The library would have to deal with a searing tirade because of this injustice in due time.

The relentless morning sun peaked through the closed blinds and cast a thin sliver of light on the wall, illuminating the alarm clock face on the nightstand and onto his half squinting face. "You win this round, sun.." He muttered dragging himself from the bed; the bag of chips fell to the floor showering his feet in its greasy golden goodness. "Shit, that's just what I need." Dan grimaced at the mess before bending to pick them up returning them to their bag. "There. Good as new!" He justified, resting the bag on the floor.

Maneuvering his way through the build up of junk; Dan made his way to the couch. It had clicked in his head that he no vendettas yet thus far as he turned on the tv, flipping though a few channels. 'Try Glu-Dent denture cream!' One commercial boasted, with a broad smiling aging old man and his wife both showing sparkling teeth. "Yeah, right." Dan countered before changing the channel to the next with a show about women giving birth. "Egads! Where's the blur marks?" He spat, squeezing his eyes shut as he quickly fiddled with the remote, flipping the channel again. Finally cartoon showing a robot attacking another robot appeared on the screen, much to his satisfaction. Dan relaxed against the sofa propping his feet up on the coffee table that is until the phone rang, jolting him from his moment of contentment.

Tearing the phone from the receiver, Dan snarled, ready for a merciless verbal onslaught, until he heard Chris. "Hi Dan, can I come over? I'm afraid I have some bad news."

Dan's expression went from fuming to puzzled as he replied "It's that bad?" He spoke, his voice faltering slightly with worry. "I'm afraid so, Dan. Listen I'll be there in a few minutes." The buzz of the ended phone call was distant as he held the receiver idly in his hand wondering what could have possibly happened to make Chris sound so utterly destroyed. Something was terribly wrong, Dan decided. Sure, Chris had his moments of panic and disappointment about things now and then but this was not at all a case of his overreacting.

Within five minutes with which Dan hastily put on a pair of jeans, there was a knock at the door. He rushed to open it, ushering his friend inside. Dan noted Chris's appearance as he watched him wander to the couch and sit pensively. The man before him didn't look like his usually chipper sidekick. No, he looked like a disheveled and completely lost soul that just happened to look like him. Taking a seat in the dusty old recliner across from Chris, Dan paused for a moment before speaking. "Geez, you don't look so well. What happened?" He asked in a quieter than usual tone.

Chris glanced at Dan as he rubbed his forehead debating how exactly to tell him. "She left me." His expressionless face was a solemn confirmation of this, his eyes shifting to the wall. "You're kidding me!" Dan spoke skeptically. "No, no I'm not." was the simple reply. After a few seconds of silence ticked by, Dan shifted in his chair not wanting to believe and yet knowing this was indeed the truth. "But why..? You were so good to her and now this?" The question of 'why' made Chris uneasy as he sat picking his fingernails and hesitating until he met Dan's gaze and averted his eyes to the floor. "I just really don't know. We were arguing all night and she wouldn't even tell me for what reason. All she said was that she felt neglected and that there wasn't any love between us and to get out. Now all I have is my car, I don't even have a place to stay. I'd really rather not go into a long discussion about it.." his voice trailed after this and paused again before glancing back at his friend.

Dan himself, even with his more warped rationalization of things knew there was something missing as he got up from the chair and stood before him choosing not to question him again. Instead he stared at him plainly as if in thought. "You can stay here you know, just don't think you can assume being in charge, ok? This is my place after all." He spoke in a half heartedly stern voice even though an air of kindness was present.

Chris looked somewhat relieved at hearing this, though still nonetheless hurt over the bigger situation at hand. "You don't have to, I just didn't know where else to go." Of course Dan would have none of it. "Nonsense, you are my friend, and so you're staying. Looks like I have a lot of cleaning ahead of me." He muttered, taking in the sight of the living room, then the kitchen.

Finally after a few hours of scrubbing sweeping and bagging, Dan along with Chris's help had managed to get the place looking decent. "Well at least cleaning the stench in here made for a somewhat of a distraction." Chris quipped, scrunching his face in disgust as he remembered the horrors of the bathroom in particular earning a quick glare from Dan. "Hey, you offered to help. So, what about we go get some pizza?" He spoke, dusting his black shirt as he fiddled with the keys to his hatchback.

Walking to outside to his car along with Chris, Dan looked over his car before with his usual wariness before getting in. At the very least New Mexico had learned its lesson about throwing brochures tied to bricks through his car window, much to his satisfaction.