TITLE: Valentine's Day should be erased from history (AKA Shinpachi isn't the only one who doesn't receive chocolates on Valentine's Day)

PAIRING: Okita/Kagura…?


WARNINGS: None. Just a little violence from Otae.

DISCLAIMER: Hideaki Sorachi is the genius behind Gintama. I'm just the procrastinating idiot behind this fanfiction.

NOTES: Before, I was a little baffled at how girls (or practically everyone) in manga especially shoujo ones are so hyped up about Valentine's Day. My confusion was laid to rest when my sensei at Japanese language class told us that in Japan, girls/women usually give special chocolates to the guy they like as some sort of confession.

I didn't realize Valentine's Day was coming up until I finished this and went on to check who the hell St. Valentine is. This is for all OkiKagu fans, and a gift for myself as well, since today (feb 8) is my birthday XD

Valentine's Day should be erased from history (AKA Shinpachi isn't the only one who doesn't receive chocolates on Valentine's Day)


In the streets of Kabukicho, a single, uniformed captain walked aimlessly. There was no life in his dazed eyes, and his hands were slacked at his sides.

Despite the holidays, the crime rate was surprisingly low. It was like no one was at the streets at all.

Okita kicked a pebble out of his way, and continued trudging on the dirt road, hoping a terrorist or even Hijikata would show up.


"Ne, Ne, anego, why is everyone buying chocolates? Some are even killing each other at the big sale at Oedo Store."

Kagura stuck another sukonbu piece in her mouth as she threw away the now empty packet. Infront of her was Shinpachi's sister, Otae, who's currently sticking a halberd's blade tip on her constant stalker's ass. No matter how much the snivelling Kondo tried to plead, Otae wouldn't untie him from the tree she managed to trap him on to.

"Ara, Kagura-chan, don't you know?" Otae said as she continued to prod Kondo's ass despite it already bleeding. "Tomorrow's Valentine's Day, and every time this day comes, girls and women all over would give chocolates to the person they like the most."

"Really?" Kagura said in interest. "But it's unfair! What about girls and women? Who would give chocolates to us?"

"If you're lucky, the guy you gave chocolate to would give you back lots of them on White Day, which is one month after Valentine's Day."

"Chi, men are really slow aren't they? They'd take one month to give back."

"You're right about that, Kagura-chan. Men are so slow that they don't get it when a girl's just NOT interested."

"O-Otae-chan," Kondo's voice quivered in nervousness. "D-Don't worry, I'll give you chocolates even though it isn't White Day yet, so—"


As Kondo's body flew an arc out of the Shimura residence, Kagura thanked Otae and left as well. Sadaharu yawned and followed his owner.

"But still," Kagura said. "Chocolate is still chocolate, and if I give some today, I'll get lots and lots later on. Maybe I should give one as well?"

Sadaharu let out a bark and Kagura grinned.


Okita was bored. It seemed that the love bug struck even criminals to the point that there wasn't any criminal activity at all, even simple pick-pocketing. A street thug even apologized when a careless kid spilled shaved ice on his kimono.

'Maa, at least I'm not with Hijikata.' He thought. 'But then again, if he's here then I have someone to torture.'

Okita looked around. Every shop he passed by sold chocolates, even the cabaret bars. Couples were littered everywhere, and even stray cats and dogs looked like they're having a group date.

"Ara, darling, you're so sweet! You didn't have to buy me flowers!"

Yet despite the words, Okita could sense that the woman clinging to her blushing boyfriend would beat the living daylights out of him if he hadn't done so.

'Kabukicho women are scary,' Okita thought as he continued on his way.

He was just considering taking a nap at the park when he spotted a familiar girl standing before a packed sweets shop with her arms raised sideways preventing other eager and desperate customers from getting any of the products before her.

'What's China doing here?' He wondered. 'Nevermind, looks like I'm not going to be bored anymore.'

And with a smile that could turn anyone who saw it into stone, Okita headed over to entertain himself.


"Damn it, why are there too many of them?" Kagura said as she tried to keep away the women and girls who had been pushing her away earlier. "What am I supposed to give?"

It wouldn't be a problem if she had money, of course, but as the Yorozuya barely made any, Kagura could only buy small chocolates, and it had to be from the on-sale ones. It would've helped a little, but even the cheap ones had a lot of variety, and they all came in different shapes and sizes apart from different flavors, making it a mind-racking problem to choose from among them.

"If I'm the one eating, then it should be easy," Kagura said as she eyed longingly the sukonbu-flavored chocolate lying untouched at a far corner of the display table.

"What's this?" An unwelcome drawling voice came. "Who would've thought you had a heart in you, China?"

"Shut up!" Kagura said as she tried to concentrate on her dilemma. "Maybe one with strawberries? Gah! They're sold out!" She glared at Okita. "This is your fault, sadist! If you didn't distract me, I would've gotten that chocolate!"

Kagura then paused. Okita was saying something, but as her brain was currently focused on her idea, she couldn't really understand what he was saying.

'Even though he's a sadist, he's still a guy!' She thought. 'He can help me choose which one to buy!'

With a determined nod, Kagura faced Okita.

"Oi, Sadist," She said as she lowered her arms.

The women and girls took the opportunity to squeeze in and push her out of the way. Kagura didn't mind, though, as she had to do something first.

"What is it, China?" Okita said, a little surprised.

"What kind of chocolates do you like?"

Okita stared at her. And then stared some more. Losing patience faster than Sadaharu could bite Shinpachi's head, Kagura snapped.

"Well? What kind of chocolates do you like?" She repeated.


Okita couldn't believe what was going on. China, asking him what chocolates he liked? All the while she was blushing?

Okita glanced back at the shop, and then at Kagura, who was continuously calling him names and insisting he tell her what he liked.

After all those times that they brawled and fought, after all the cuts and bruises and blood spilt, China was going to give him chocolates, and on Valentine's Day?

Either karma was playing a cruel joke on him, or—

Okita fell back several steps as blood started to gush out of his nose. Kagura, having fully lost her patience, had taken to punching him back to reality.

"Fine," Okita said. "I'll help you out."

Kagura broke into a bright smile. "Really?" And then glared at him suspiciously. "You're not planning on doing something stupid, are you?"

"No," Okita said as he turned to the store. "But all these people are blocking my way, what are you going to do?"

The answer was immediate as Kagura pushed away the throng of people with both her hands similar to what she had been doing earlier. It was like the legendary beastly bald man who broke the two pillars on his sides to take revenge on the people who shaved him.

"There!" Kagura said with a satisfied grin. "Now, what kind of chocolates do you like? N-Not that I'm giving them to you, Sadist!"

"Yes, yes," Okita said with a smirk as he looked around. There were various flavors on the display table, and Okita understood why the girl was having a hard time choosing. Shouldn't chocolates have chocolate flavor only?

"Well?" Kagura said from beside him.

"I don't really mind what kind of chocolate I get," Okita said, just to screw with the girl. "Isn't there a saying, 'It's the thought that counts'?"

"Yosha!" Kagura said unexpectedly with a huge grin. "Then I'll get him sukonbu-flavored one—"

Okita quickly grabbed the girl by the back of her plain red cheongsam. Just when he thought he could annoy her further… "China, are you planning to kill me— I mean, the person you're giving that to?"

"How cruel! Sukonbu isn't poison, you bastard!"

"The plain one would be fine," Okita decided to stop screwing with her just once. "And have it put inside a drawstring bag."

"Ooh!" Kagura said as she looked at the pile of plain chocolates. "So guys like plain chocolate? Heh, these stupid women are buying the wrong ones!"

Being the cheapest one on display, Kagura was able to buy several bite-sized pieces of chocolates. She looked quite satisfied on her purchase and was humming merrily as they walked down the road heading over to the Yorozuya's place.

"Oi, Sadist," Kagura turned to Okita. "Why the hell are you following me?"

"Don't flatter yourself, China," Okita answered. "I'm patrolling this area, and it just happened that I'm heading down this street."

"Well, I don't care," Kagura said. "Just don't stick to me; you're filthy."

"Not as filthy as you," Okita countered. "You're starting to smell like an old man from all that sukonbu you've been eating."

"You bastard! Even Gin-chan wonders why I don't smell like sukonbu even though I always eat it!"

"Anyway, China," Okita decided to push the girl's buttons. Who knew she'd like him, of all people? "Who are you giving the chocolates to?"

"T-That's none of your business!" Kagura said defensively. Okita couldn't help but smirk at her flushed face. "Anyway, I bet you didn't get any, because nobody likes you, you sadist! Wahahahaha!"

"Just so you know, I get so many chocolates that I have to force-feed them to Yamazaki because I can't eat them all." He was bluffing, of course, but Kagura didn't have to know that.

The girl beside him got quiet, and when Okita glanced at her, he couldn't help but get surprised at her troubled expression.

'Is she jealous?' Okita thought. 'This girl… Does she really like me that much?'

Despite the absurdity of the idea, Okita couldn't help but smile. 'Maybe it isn't too bad…?'

"I'm still going to get chocolates afterwards, right?" Came Kagura's voice. It was soft and slightly quivering, and for a moment Okita believed the girl had the ability to become cute once in a while.

"Don't worry," He said as he looked away. He could feel his ears getting warm. "I'm sure he'll give you more than just chocolates, as long as you're sincere."

Kagura perked up with a bright smile, and Okita let out a small sigh. 'What the hell am I doing, comforting this vulgar alien?' Still, he felt proud of himself for being such a nice guy. Now all that's left was to receive those chocolates and—



"Gin-chan!" Kagura repeated as she headed over to the Yorozuya proprietor who was busy parking his scooter. Waiting by the steps leading to their shop was their glasses-wearing friend, Shinpachi. Kagura's pet dog was quick to bit over the guy's head, which started bleeding immediately. "Gin-chan," Kagura said once more. "These are for you."

Okita gaped, and he wasn't the only one to do so. As soon as Gintoki opened the drawstring bag and took out a piece of heart-shaped chocolate, two other jaws dropped as Kagura grinned.

"K-K-Kagura-san, is that what I think it is?" Shinpachi shouted in shock, now not minding the huge dog still biting on his head.

"Um, K-K-Kagura-chan," Gintoki said as the piece of chocolate was still between two of his fingers. "I-I-I know you're already a big girl and people won't sue me anymore, b-b-but this—"

"Gin-chan, what are you talking about?" Kagura said. "Anyway, go ahead and eat those. I'm expecting a huge reward for my effort, you hear me?"

"B-B-But Kagura-chan," Gintoki said as his hands started to shake. "T-T-This is—"

"Stop complaining and eat it already!" Kagura said with a frown. "Geez, for a guy you sure do complain more than a mother-in-law! Just remember that I like sukonbu-flavored chocolate, you hear me?"


In the streets of Kabukicho, a single, uniformed captain walked purposefully. There was fire in his blood-red eyes, and his hands were poised at his katana, ready to draw it out when needed.

Despite the holidays, the crime rate was surprisingly low. It was like no one was at the streets at all.

Okita kicked a cat out of his way, and continued marching on the dirt road, itching for a terrorist or even Hijikata to show up.

: END :

Like I always write: Reviews, comments, suggestions, and bursts of fangirling squee are most welcome :D