Your hair is ridiculous


As a precursor to my iteration of this story, I should tell you that I, Lily Evans am not always of rational thought, you'll probably work that out quite quickly.


Remus and I sat against a tree in the Hogwarts grounds, he was helping me revise for charms, we were half way through our end of term exams, and I really had to pass, sure it was only sixth year, but exams are important to me.

I scowled as James Potter jogged past, what a jerk, with his ridiculous hair, it was always so messy would it kill him to use a comb? He was always training for Quidditch, why was it that he could get such good marks, and not spend any time studying. I asked Remus about this once, how Potter and Black could get such good marks without doing any work, he just muttered something about them being naturally clever, but I have a theory that they have their own little cosy study sessions, where they spend most of the gazing into mirrors trying to decide who's vainer, I added that bit to my theory after I saw them both carrying mirrors as they walked to separate detentions. I liked to remind Remus of this theory that they were secretly a gay couple when he tried to defend them. It amused us both, to a certain extent.

He made another lap of the grounds and I saw several girls swoon, he grinned at a group and they dissolved into giggles. I groaned and turned back to Remus

"What were we doing?" I asked

"I was revising charms; you were staring at one of my best mates"

"I wasn't staring" I said, a hit his arm with my charms text book

"Ouch" he mocked, "you know he's not so bad" he commented lightly

"Should Black be jealous?" I teased

"Hardly, I'm trying to get your best friend into bed" he grinned, him and Mary were in a continuous on-off relationship, a lot of it depended on Remus mood swings due to full moon.

"Remus if you just told her, I'm sure she'd understand" I said soothingly, disarming myself

"Lily, let's not go there, not everyone is like you, anyway I'm young, I'm gorgeous ... yeah, she'll find someone else" he said and shrugged but gave me a cheeky grin,

"I think she already knows" I added coyly

"I'll tell her when you tell James that you fancy him" Remus teased, I don't know what he was talking about, well maybe slightly, I did spend a lot of my time thinking about him, but that was just finding ways to get revenge, why did I always have to be on the receiving end of his pranks.

"I'm going to hex you or hit you again" I said glaring at him and reaching for my wand, and blushing red, I don't know why I was blushing I mean Potter was okay when he wasn't flirting with anything that moved, or pulling pranks, when he was quiet just sitting there and looking sexy, oh dear Merlin, did I just think he was sexy, I need my brain checked out!

"I think you should tell him right now" Remus said softly, as James ran up the slope towards us

"Hey Evans, go out with me" he said, he always greeted me like this, I chose to remain silent, if I didn't say yes, I didn't mean yes, so why did he continuously ask me out?

"Hey Moony" he said, lifting up the bottom of his t-shirt, and wiping sweat from his brow, and thus showing off his perfectly toned stomach, wow, was all that came to mind. I've never been one of those girls who were 'experienced' but my mind was having ideas about things I didn't even know you could do, and I was sure if they were even right!

"Actually I think you should tell him now" he said softly

"Tell who? What?" James asked, dropping down on the grass at my feet

"Nothing" I said quickly

"I think you're lying" he teased

"That's because she is" Remus commented not raising his eyes from the textbook, I was going to kill that boy one of these days

"Come on Evans tell me" he said and moved closer to me, so I could feel the heat radiating off his body, it wasn't unpleasant but it made me feel uncomfortable, probably because he was so close to me, a little voice in my head (who I'd have to find a way to shut up) was telling me to kiss him.

"Is it about a boy?" he said patting my arm, "you know I'm the only one good enough for you" he said

"No" I said blushing

"Yes" said Remus, still not looking up, but I could see a small smirk on his face.

"Evans, just tell me, it's not like I judge" he said persuasively

"No" I repeated and moved to whisper in Remus "why are you doing this?"

"Its fun" he whispered back

"No it's not" I replied

"Lily, just tell him" he prompted

"There's nothing to tell" I turned to glare at him.

"What is going on?" James said thoroughly confused, his eyes flitting between the two of us

"Nothing" I said quickly, I had no idea why I was so embarrassed, I couldn't like James, I mean he was Potter. So why was Remus doing this? Probably some weird social experiment he'd picked up from one of his books.

"Now I'm paranoid, it's about me" said James chuckling, as if people could only say good things about him, that was one of the reasons he so annoyed me, he was just so arrogant. I frowned at him

"I think it's more about Lily" Remus said, his amused passiveness was frustrating.

I started to pack up my things, Remus realized he had crossed a line and apologised.

"Save it, we're not speaking for the moment" I said standing up.

"Okay" he said quietly. We were still best friends, this was just how we fought, one of us would tell the other we weren't speaking, they could give one full apology, and then they had to give the other space to chill out. It was a really cool method. I stormed away, so why could I not get this idea of James out of my head.

I had got all the way up to my room, and had flopped down on my bed, why did he effect me like this? Why was Remus so eager for me to tell him? Not that there was anything to tell, I didn't know. Last year, I could confidently say that James was a conceited arrogant prat and I hated him all the way to Hades and back. Now, I didn't know what to think of him, it may have just been my hormones kicking in, he was fit, but it was like he was a spit personality at times, he could be obnoxious and cheeky and at others gentle and kind and serious. But I could never know which he would be, I suppose he was a little like me in that way, I went from being quiet and caring to fiery and passionate, and occasionally violent.

I turned over and buried my face in the pillow and moaned, I sunk myself into my thoughts, my thoughts weren't exactly helpful, all they could think about was James, his hazel eyes, his cheeky grin, his messy hair, then there was me and I was kissing him, oh I needed serious help or at least my hormones removed, and even if that happened why was it still that all I could think about was kissing James Potter.

"Are you trying to kill yourself or make out with that pillow?" Mary asked from the door way, I hadn't heard her come in,

"I'm not sure, but I'm contemplating both" I said turning onto my back again and grinning at her

"Fair enough" she said reapplying her lip gloss and taking off her shirt so she was just in her camisole and skirt

"Where are you going?" I asked raising an eyebrow

"To see Remus, him and James just had a massive fight on the slope" she said looking at me incredulously,

"What?" I said sitting up, what had happened, how long had I been up here? What had they fought about? They never fought, this was weird.

"See you later" she said, winking and walking out of the door

"Use protection" I mumbled after her, she just laughed and I listened to her walk down the stairs, I was incredibly curious, why had the fought, it must have been pretty big, it had quickly become public knowledge, I had to go and see what went on, I couldn't exactly ask Remus unless I wanted to interrupt a steamy session with two of my partially clad best friends.

I walked down the stairs and glanced at Sirius who was sitting in the corner with Peter and a couple of girls, I passed them quickly but by the looks of their forced smiles I could tell they were determinedly not talking about what had happened.

I stepped out of the portrait hole and wandered the corridors, this couldn't have anything to do with me, could it? I walked past a classroom and saw a figure in the dark sitting legs outstretched on a desk, back resting on the wall, head down. I stepped inside,

"James?" I asked quietly

He raised his head slowly, as if willing himself not to look,

"Oh, no, not you" he moaned and rested his head back on the wall.

"Sorry, I'll go" I said but didn't move, I was really unsure what to do, "are you okay?" I asked lamely, I should have really found out some gossip before even approaching the situation

"I will be if Remus ever forgives me" he said sighing

"he will, he's Remus, and right now he's with Mary, so I'm sure by tomorrow morning it'll all be forgotten" I assured him, I chuckled at the last mention

"Or a couple of hours" I added, he laughed again

"You can come in" he said, I took it in baby steps, first shutting the door behind me, then moving across the room, I was about three metres away from him, until he reached out and dragged a desk next to his

"Sit" he said, I sat on the desk my position mirroring his, he was so warm and smelt really good, I probably shouldn't be thinking about that

"What happened?" I asked lightly

"I was the biggest jerk possible, and even Sirius the man with the lowest morals I know is disgusted by me" he said, his voice was thick, I wondered if he'd been crying

"You're all like brothers, I've seen how you interact, it'll be fine, you just need time" I reassured

"Thanks" he half smiled, "but I don't think it will be, I crossed the line, well I more leaped over it and danced on the other side"

"What did you do?" I asked, it must have been bad, and I was kind of guessing he didn't want me to judge him

"You're going to hate me as much as he hates me, but just so you know I hate myself more" he said pleadingly

"James, just tell me" I said, resting my hand on his arm

"It started with - well, we were arguing about you" he paused looking guilty

"Why me? What's there to argue about?" I asked confused

"I said maybe I should be more like him then you'd go on a date with me" he glanced at me

"That's not going to work" I interjected, he grinned

"I'll try something else then" he said, and continued on,

"So moony said 'you don't want to be like me', and then we got into an argument about him being a y'know" he looked at me, wary that he'd let something slip

"I know" I assured him, "and Remus knows I know" I tacked on

"Well I basically said 'being a werewolf isn't so bad'" he paused, recoiling from my onslaught

"Why would you say that?" I asked outraged "it's terrible"

"I know, I meant when he's got us and you, and friends, it's so confusing half the time, he's like tell the world, end the prejudice, the other half he's like what if someone finds out, how was I suppose to know" he said angrily

"You're not defending this are you?" I asked, it was low, and I was slightly shocked

"Of course I'm not" he countered "it gets worse, by the way" I raised my eyebrows

"How exactly?" I asked

"Well I said, there's a war coming and no one cares what you are it's who's side your on, that didn't come out right either, it was supposed to mean, everyone's equal on the side of right" he explained

"I get you" I nodded "what did Remus say to that?"

"He screamed that just because most werewolves were on the side of Voldemort that he wasn't going to join them" James said

"You were surprised by that?" I asked "I mean he associates with muggle-borns and blood traitors, I think that's more of an issue for Voldemort than the werewolf population" I said

"I know, I realised that I had severely pissed him off, I thought he was going change right then like Sirius, Peter and I, then I realised that it wasn't like that, and I just stood there and let him insult my hair" he said ashamed

"Well If he got onto to talking about your ridiculous hair then I'd say he's probably gone passed anger" I smiled shyly, he just outlined how much of a jerk he was, and he'd never looked cuter.

"My hair is ridiculous?" he asked scandalized

"Well, it could be cute, if you stopped messing it up" I said, ruffling his hair, he smiled

"So only you can, mess my hair up?" he asked,

"Yes" I said, smiling and ruffled it again, he laughed our faces were so close together, his lips were centimetres away from mine,

"Well then" he said nervously,

"What?" I breathed, and pressed my lips against his, and pulled away glancing at him, I felt the blush rise in my cheeks. What had I done? I was stupider than a tree surgeon without earwigs.

"I was going to say I get to mess your hair up too then" he said nervously

"Oh, sorry" I squeaked and hopped off the table,

"No, wait" he jumped off his table and over mine, and pulled me back, wrapping one arm around my waist, he kissed me passionately, his rough lips against my soft ones, he deepened the kiss and slid his tongue between my parted lips, I moaned it felt really, really good, I slid my hands up tangled through his hair, he slid both his hands into mine, he steered me to a desk and lifted me onto it, I pressed myself closer to him, and heard him moan, I was really confused, I was kissing James Potter, in a blacked out classroom hours after he insulted one of my best friends and now I was kissing him.

I pulled away, and leant my head against his chest, and felt his deep breathing as he straightened up.

"I'm so confused" I said, he chuckled

"Me too" he agreed

"I'm sorry Lily, I didn't mean to, I don't really know" he said grinning

"Don't apologize, I kissed you first" I said, he stepped away, and I hopped off the table, he just stood there grinning

"I noticed that" he said his smile growing

"So I kissed you big deal" I said, walking over to the door and opening it, he followed after me

"Lily, you have no idea how big a deal this is to me" he carried on grinning

"Stop smiling, these things happen" I said as we walked back to the common room, I had no idea what the time was but I was guessing we'd missed dinner,

"Not with us, they don't" he said arguing back, okay that was true I was more likely to castrate James than kiss him, but him being here with me, it was nice, it was lovely

"Okay, that's true" I agreed

"Do you reckon it could happen again?" he asked shyly, I think he was holding his breath waiting for my reply

"I don't know we'll see how mad Remus is at you" I said coyly, giving the password to the Fat Lady.

We entered the common room to find Remus, Mary, Sirius, Peter, Alice, Frank and Hestia (another one of my dorm mates, she was one of my new friends, we'd always been dorm friends but she'd hung around with her cousin and their friends, they're in the year above, and now they're leaving she's entered more into our friend group).

"Where have you been?" asked Alice raising her eyebrows

"Nowhere" we said together, everyone exchanged looks, I looked at James who was looking at Remus nervously. Then being the dramatic idiot he is, he knelt down and literally begged for forgiveness

"Remus, I'm so sorry, I'm a prat, a jerk, I was disrespectful and I know you don't want me to say this, but you cope amazingly, if I had to endure what you would do well I wouldn't be normal, I'd be off somewhere with Voldemort because I'd don't have your willpower, and even Lily agrees I have ridiculous hair" he said, I couldn't help but laugh at the last little bit,

"Prongs, it's okay, I forgave you about half way through my tirade, I just carried on because some things just need the right time and I couldn't be bothered to wait till your death bed" Remus said laughing

"Fair enough" James said "do I really have ridiculous hair?" he asked, I just laughed and ruffled his hair again,

"I'm glad you took my advice" Remus said as James sat next to him,

"What advice?" he asked, James just glared at Remus

"Ahh, I'm guessing you missed that part out" he said, laughing as did everyone else

"What?" I said, I felt like stamping my foot, why wouldn't they tell me,

"Don't worry about it" said Sirius, leaning back in his chair, he always had this appearance of relaxedness, it was calming

"Okay, well I'm off to bed then" I said, and pulled Mary off Remus lap, motioning to Alice and Hestia to join me, I had to tell her I'd kissed James so maybe she could work out what I was thinking.

Mary and Alice kissed their boyfriends goodbye, and Frank dispersed to his own common room, so just the marauders were left to gossip whilst I dragged the girls up to the dorm.

"I kissed James Potter" I said sitting heavily down on my bed

"I had sex with Remus" Mary said topping me, and sitting down on her bed

"I'm going to marry Frank" Alice said, and did a happy dance before sitting on her bed, we laughed then looked at Hestia

"I fancy Sirius Black" she said, and laid back on her bed, we looked at her, mouths open, eyes wide with shock, she laughed

"And you're most shocked at me?" she asked

"Yes" we chorused

Hestia just laughed again, "well it seems like we have a lot to discuss" I said, and we all quickly got ready for bed and clambered onto my bed with our blankets so we could discuss, we did this every time there was something new to discuss, it was like having sisters who you actually liked, you could say anything and they wouldn't judge.

"Why Sirius?" Alice asked Hestia

"I think I've gone insane" she said, "just all of a sudden it was as if, I just need to rip his clothes off, then I started to actually listen to what he said, and not all of it is stupid, some of it actually makes sense"

"That's disconcerting" said Mary laughing, Hestia sighed, then laughed shaking her head

"I didn't realize you could actually fancy Black, I just thought" Mary said trailing off

"People just slept with him" I finished

"Yeah" she said, we all laughed then waited for Hestia to speak

"What am I going to do?" Hestia said

"You could just sleep with him" Mary offered

"Like you do?" I asked

"Hey, now, at least I was going out with Remy" she said defensively

"Were you?" I asked

"Oh, I can never remember, we are always on and off, does it make much difference?" she said, resting her head on my shoulder,

"With you two not really" I said striking her hair,

"So how was it?" Alice asked, poking her on the knee

"It was amazing, I mean they say your first time isn't great, but it was perfect, he was, well, he was Remus" she said blushing, and smiling

"I know what you mean" said Alice, she smiled her own personal smile,

"So you missy?" I asked

"What?" she said innocently

"You're going to be Alice Longbottom" I reminded her

"I know, isn't it awesome!" she said

"Yeah it is" said Hestia

"Will you be bridesmaids?" she asked

"You know he has to ask you first don't you?" I reminded her

"He will, we talked about the future and everything that's going on, and he said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and I said so did I" Alice explained

"That's so sweet" said Hestia

"I know" said Alice squealing

"Then you had sex?" I asked presuming,

"Of course" she said grinning, I rolled my eyes

"Is that all you do?" I asked

"No, well yes, but its fun and soon you'll join our little club" Alice said sticking her tongue out at me

"I won't" I said frowning, it had just occurred to me that I was the only virgin in this room, would I have sex with James Potter, I had to get that idea out of my head it could not be trusted up there, look what happens when I fantasised about kissing him.

"Yeah sure" scoffed Mary "you're completely in love with that boy" she said

"No I'm not" I said a little too quickly. Alice just rolled her eyes and they all exchanged glances

"Why did you kiss him then?" asked Hestia.

"The same reason you fancy Sirius, you slept with Remus and you're marrying Frank, we've all gone insane!" I exploded

"You so need to get laid" said Alice,

"Didn't we have an agreement, if I fell in love with James Potter you'd have me committed?" I asked exasperatedly

"You admit it, you're in love with James" Mary screamed triumphantly

"I didn't say that, I don't, oh Merlin, I've no idea" I said clutching my head in my hands.

"Lily, it's a women's prerogative to change her mind" said Hestia, rubbing my back

"Yeah, I go from arguing with Frank to mounting him quicker than you can say chocolate frogs" said Alice soothingly

"Overshare, Alice" I muttered

"I think what Alice is trying to say, you can change your mind all you want, if he loves you, he'll keep up" Mary summarized

"How do I know that he'll love me long enough for me to decide if I love him or not" I asked shyly,

They all exchanged glances and said unanimously "He's James Potter" I frowned at them, I never had any idea what they meant

"I hate it when you do that" I said, they just laughed as they departed to their own beds, before Mary could move to far away, I pulled on her hand and whispered

"Remus told you, didn't he?"

"Yes, and lily, it doesn't bother me, to me he'll always be Remus, it doesn't matter if he's something else once a month" she said smiling slightly

"I told him you'd react like that, he owes me a chocolate frog" I said

"You bet on it?" she whispered incredulously

"No" I whispered back "but he still owes me a chocolate frog" I added shrugging my shoulders, we dissolved into laughter, as we settled down into our beds

"Stop laughing" said Alice from the other side of dorm, we muffled our laughter unsuccessfully

"I'll tell you more about mine and Frank's sex life" she added after a minute, that shut me up abruptly, but just caused Hestia and Mary to start laughing again, and on hearing Alice's exasperated sigh, we all started to laugh, and it was ages before any of us could stop.


A/N: Okay, that's the first chapter of 'Your hair is ridiculous'. There is a story to it, sort of, but feedback would be great. So read and review, even though if you're reading this you've most likely already read it. I'll stop rambling.