A/N: Right… this sucks. Feel free to agree with me on that.
Disclaimer: Once again… I own nothing.
Dedications: To PenonPapaerFingersonKeys, who requested this story right before my computer screwed up. Sorry if it sucks sweetie!
Black, White…. Grey
James groaned, suddenly fighting the urge to all but slam his head into a wall.
Things weren't supposed to be this complex. Life wasn't supposed to hold so much uncertainties and doubts, at least not for him, not when related to this.
James' love for Lily Evans has always been so obviously easy to figure out. Loving her was right, not loving her, or loving anyone else, was wrong. That was the way things were, that's how they still should be.
But it seemed as if his life was losing the simplicity that it once held, and was now being clouded by doubts, and questions, and desires that should not be but still were.
'Black and white and the simplicity of childhood are no longer; now everything is charcoal grey with streaks of rare certainty.'
He remembers the way that his parents used to sit him down and talk to him, explaining the ways of the world through blacks and whites and shades of grey that could not be so easily categorized. He had always found these explainations ridiculous. They were simple, really, but unnecessary. Black was bad, white was good, and grey was somewhere in between, though one should not venture there often, or at least… that is what James thought. He was all but certain that he was right.
If Lily is the whiteness in James' life, and the blackness came from a life without Lily, or one where James took part in things that he cannot imagine himself doing, then it should be obvious what path he'd choose…
Except that those shades of grew now shadowing his life are taking another form…. And his love for Lily is being shadowed by his feelings for someone else.
The way that James feels for Alice shouldn't be good. It should be the very essence of all that is wrong and hurtful and bad. Because James Potter isn't allowed to love more than one women. He should have more sense than that. And he does….
But life is no longer simple. And he can't help but feel a world of doubts when at another time he was so certain.
He can't define his love for Lily as good, and his sudden feelings for Alice as bad. That would be too easy, and would make his life rather dull, he supposes. In reality, his feelings for both women hold something good, and something bad.
And that complicates things.
James has never felt more uncertain. These feelings that are now spiraling within him make him doubt, and question, and feel as if he's doing something bad. It's tearing him apart, and making him wonder what the fuck is wrong with him.
But life can't be defined in simple blacks and whites, not once a person leaves the realm of childhood. And so James is sort of stuck being uncertain for now, at least until he figures out how to better control the storm of grey that's suddenly entered his life.
But how can he control his feelings for Alice when he doesn't even know where they came from? And how can he focus on his feelings for Lily when she won't even give him the time of day?
A/N: Well…. I really don't know. I kinda hate it. Will you guys tell me what you all think? And sweetie (PenonPapaerFingersonKeys) if you hate it, tell me and I'll try again soon.