Duncan had never been a cat person. The things always seemed much too sneaky and underhanded; always plotting something behind their masters backs. They seemed to smart for their own good. Besides, he preferred a slobbery kiss to the cheek then a sharp claw to the hand.
"He's just a baby," Courtney cooed, rocking the animal in her arms as if it were her own newborn child. "Isn't he cute?"
The punk rolled his teal eyes and gave a flat, "Adorable."
Courtney had gushed all weekend about the fur ball she had just bought on Friday, only nine weeks old, the orange tabby was all she could talk about. So, like a good boyfriend, he had nodded and hummed at the right times to give the appearance that he was actually paying attention.
Then, that Sunday morning, the brunette had suggested Duncan meet him as if the cat was an actual member of her family. Still, not wanting to start a fight over something stupid as a kitten, he agreed to coming over to her house after her parents left for work. Now, here he sat in the living room, trying to catch the last of the football game while the normally hard-nosed CIT murmured to the bundle of fur that purred louder with each word.
Duncan grunted, hitting the volume button on the TV until it drowned out the purr. Suddenly, the remote was snatched from his hand, and the mute button was pushed as the TV was suddenly quiet. Duncan swivelled to face his girlfriend, giving her a deadpan expression. "Courtney," He said, a underlying warning in his tone. "Turn the volume back on."
The girl payed no attention to his request, as she set the remote back on the coffee table next to him, then faced him with a smile. "Duncan, this is Lion."
He was briefly surprised at the name. Honestly, he had expected her to name the feline something like Einstein or Beethoven. To have it named something as simple as Lion, through him through a small loop. Before it made him laugh out loud.
"Jeez, lame enough, Darlin'?" He chortled until she punched him rather roughly in the arm. He still smiled playfully, then eyed the kitten in her lap that meowed when their eyes met.
"Will you do me a favour?"
He was about to say no right off the bat, and switch the football game back on, when she added: "I'll make sure you're greatly rewarded after, if you do a good job." The suggestive innuendo to her words, had a yes spilling out of his mouth before he even heard what he would be doing. At that, she rolled her eyes.
Getting up, Court suddenly handed Lion to Duncan, who continued to glance blankly at the thing, as if it were alien to him. "Look after Lion. I need to pick up some more kitty litter. I shouldn't be longer then half an hour. Keep a good eye on him, don't let him wreck anything. Bye!" Not bothering to wait for a reply, Courtney shuffled out the door, leaving the boy to it.
Setting the tomcat on the floor, the delinquent propped his feet up on the table and un-muted the football game, until an orange flash in the corner of his eye caught his attention. Lion was standing on the back of the couch, watching his temporary care-taker with curious blue eyes.
Pushing the cat off the back of the couch, he huffed. "Back off, kitty cat."
It seemed the creature was more stubborn then he gave it credit for, before it hopped right back up onto the back of the leather couch. Meowing in annoyance, Duncan assumed, Lion reached a paw up and swatted playfully at his mohawk, which made the human male yelp.
"Dammit, stop that!" He yelled, grabbing the tabby in his hands and holding it in the air in front of his face. "If you don't leave me alone, I'm gonna take away some of your nine lives, got it?" It's blue eyes seemed to hold a suddenly mischievous glint as the boy set him down on the floor once more. Padding down the hallway into the dinning room, the orange feline swiftly hopped up onto the wood table, before narrowly managing to climb up upon the china cabinet nearby. Worming his away around the priceless, glass decorations that sat on top, Lion meowed in an almost smug sort of way. And just as the cat expected, the human boy walked into the room and his eyes almost fell out of his head in shock at the sight.
"Lion..." Duncan began slowly, inching toward the kitten as not to scare it. "I'm going to get you down okay, don't move."
The thing stared at him, all wide-eyed and innocent, but with a swat of it's tail, it single-handedly ruined his chance at ever getting some.
Three china plates toppled to the ground, shattering on impact as Lion hopped down onto the ground and bolted though Duncan's legs to find a safe place to hide.
Gaping at the pieces of broken glass, Duncan felt his blood begin to boil in fury.
Oh, that cat was so gonna get it.
"Duncan, I'm back!" Courtney shouted, two hours later, arms loaded with bags that were certainly not from a pet store. Guess, Hollister, and Lulu Lemon brand names covered the plastic bags.
"I'm in here!" Duncan's reply came from the living room. When Courtney walked in, she noted that it looked like he hadn't moved all day. Remote still in his hand, but instead of a sport, some kind of horror flick flashed across the flat screen.
"Where's Lion?" She asked, setting down her bags and taking a seat next to him.
Duncan smiled fiendishly. "Let's not worry about him. I believe you own me some payment, Princess." With that, he leaned in and kissed her, and the situation quickly escalated and was moved to the bedroom.
Sure, Courtney was going to be mad when she found the broken plates, but he'd plead and kiss her until she forgave him.
However... when she found poor Lion, shaking underneath the dining room table, completely shaved bald except for a small strip of orange fur between his eyes, she was probably going to neuter him.
He was definitely a dog person.