Kage no Hana
"I never liked English. The fact that my tree-hugging, 'Let's be friends!' teacher forced me to work with Crossdresser made me hate it even more."
"Okay, class! Today, we will review the vocabulary words you have learned by playing this fun game! With your partner!"
Grumbling, muttering, groaning, and many other signs of discontent were soon evident throughout the room. Or at least that's what my creative writing teacher would say if she was here. She would also say, "Mashiro-san, no smart-alecky comments from you! Now state the correct way to form a sentence, or you get detention on Friday, when kids your age frolic under the sunshine! And that applies to the rest of you as well," but that's beside the point, which my Language Arts teacher would have said that I didn't have, since I never stated the point in the first place.
But that's also beside the point, which I have not yet stated. The point is that our child-therapist-turned-counselor-turned-English-teacher, Kurosaki-sensei, thinks that we should all settle our differences and become friends with each other. (Either that, or she's trying to slowly murder us by forcing us to spend time with people we hate) So, during the beginning of the year, she assigned us a permanent "project partner," also known as "the person we hate or dislike the most," to work with. Meaning that the members of the warring fanboy/fangirl clans got paired with whatever clan they were fighting (I've heard that Amu's fanclub and my fanclub have formed a temporary alliance, and are trying to destroy the Tadase and Crossdresser fanclubs for some reason...), and I got paired with Annoying-Perfect-Purple-Haired-Crossdresser, AKA Girly-Boy. (Fine; Fujisaki Nagihiko. Happy?)
Anyways, I never liked English. The fact that my tree-hugging, 'Let's be friends!' teacher forced me to work with Crossdresser made me hate it even more. Our teacher also always gives us assignments from the textbook, so that she can give pointless and detailed instructions, and then pretend to read the newspaper at her desk when she's really taking a nap. (Like KusuKusu does during class. And not during the night.) Whoever gave her a degree in psychology was probably a psycho their self. It's a wonder that she hasn't gotten fired yet.
"We're going to play the letter game! Are you guys excited?" Kurosaki-sensei pointlessly asked.
As usual, her question was answered with a chorus of very 'enthusiastic,' oh sorry, UN-enthusiastic (with a very large and obvious emphasis on un), "No's." And, as usual, we were ignored as she continued to ramble on about the 'fun and educational' game we were going to play.
"You and a friend, and by that I mean your partner, will get out a piece of paper. Then, either you or your partner shall pick up a pencil and write an English word on it. After that, the other person will pause and think of a word that can be spelled with the letters of said word. Then, you shall repeat the process with different words. If you need me, I'll be right here, reading my newspaper, and not doing anything else. Have fun!" What did I say?
Almost as if it was a rehearsed habit, the vast majority of the class said, "We won't," and stood up to find their partner. Or in my case, sat there and began making a 'No transvestites allowed' sign.
As Unmentionable-Noun sat down in the formerly unoccupied desk beside mine, I held up my microscopic sign. Which would end in failure, like always.
"Rima-chan, would it not be easier to tell me that, instead of writing it on a sign?" he asked.
"I have to say this almost every day, and it wastes valuable time and energy-"
"-which you don't have," he interrupted. In response, I held up my 'Shut up, Crossdresser-chan' sign which I had made a while back.
"-so I made a sign which I could hold up whenever I need to say that," I explained.
"You would use more energy holding up the sign than saying those three words, you know," he pointed out.
I hate smart people.
"Rima-chan, if we don't start playing 'the letter game' XXVII or however many there have been, she'll deduct points from our exams," Crossdresser said, gesturing at our teacher, who was currently "reading the newspaper."
"She's asleep! How would she know if we were playing the game or not?" I asked.
"Correction; She's usually asleep. If she was asleep, then how could she be holding the newspaper up?" he countered.
"Then, maybe she invested in an invisible newspaper stand that makes it look like she's holding it up."
"You seriously believe that?"
"Fine then. Explain the existence of tiny, floating doll-things."
"Rima-chan, could we just start doing what we're supposed to be doing, and not argue about the existence of supernatural objects?"
"You were trying to change the topic! That means I win!" I triumphantly said, causing him to sigh.
"Sure, sure, whatever you say. I'll start," he said as he wrote down a word.
After twenty seconds, I finally registered the meaning of the word. "You're turning into Yaya," I observed.
"It's a new year. It's the year of the rabbit, in case you didn't notice," he explained. I hadn't noticed, but I knew not to admit it like any other sane person. (excluding Amu)
"So? You didn't have to use that word first. In fact, you didn't need to use it at all, so therefore, you are turning into Yaya. Plus, you can't even make a word with the letters in it," I said.
"Okay, then I'll pick a different word."
Luckily, this happened to be one of the few words that I actually bothered to remember. I immediately countered with
E-V-I-L and V-I-L-E
"Fitting, isn't it? It's funny how they share the same letters, since life is evil, both literally, and figuratively," I commented.
"Really? Then maybe you could commit suicide since you hate life so much and save certain people from-"
"Not a chance, Crossdresser. My turn."
"Correction; that's cheating!"
"Nope. I created a different word with the letters in it, so I did not cheat."
"Whatever. You're still a crossdesser though."
"The day you stop saying will be the day of the apocalypse."
"Or the day when you actually start looking masculine."
Since he had already used the word 'live,' I recognized it immediately.
"You mean those cute little midgets? They remind me of a friendlier version of you!"
Can't you see why I hate him?
"Rima-chan, are you there? At this time, you usually would've told me to shut up and get out of your life, so I'm assuming you were offended by something I said."
If you can't see why I hate him now, then you're either a creepy stalker fangirl/fanboy that has no life, or blind and deaf.
"…Take back the comment about me being a cute little midget or I'll chop off your hair with a hatchet."
"Fine then. You are an evil little child bent on making my life miserable."
"You are a person who hates me."
"Better. In fact, that just gave me an idea."
I H-A-T-E FUJISAKI NAGIHIKO
"Ha-ha. How clever of you."
"Something only a transvestite such as yourself would think of. Why don't you think of something clever for once?"
H-A-P-P-Y . T-W-E-L-F-T-H . B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y . T-O . Y-O-U
"Is that clever enough for the Queen of Comedy?...Rima-chan?"
"First of all, quit using my first name. Second, go die in a hole and make the world a better place. Third, my birthday was yesterday. And lastly, look at the word these letters form."
I H-A-T-E Y-O-U
"How kind of you, Rima-chan. How kind."
Gasp! I'm, as usual, not dead. Just lazy, because my computer broke down and deleted all Word documents, including my practically finished chapter of What Readers Hate, and I'm too lazy to type it back up, and am waiting for one of my parents' magical repairing tricks to work.
On the other hand, I think I did quite well with the must-finish-by-February-6th thing, seeing as how I was only one day late. Happy Birthday, Rima-chan! [insert fangirl spasm here]
In case you didn't notice, Kurosaki is a weird combination of their last names. You know where the "saki" part came from, and "shiro" means white, the opposite of black, "kuro," so shoved together, it forms "Kurosaki," which has that magical ring to it.
I would also like to apologize for sticking those periods in between "Happy twelfth birthday to you." If I didn't, the letters would have looked all smushed together and weird, because FFN does not allow you to type two spaces in a row. TT~TT