Rating: T for perverted content
Disclaimer: Fruits Basket © Natsuki Takaya
Author's Note: I've been wanting to write a oneshot about this pairing for a while now because, let's face it, it's absolutely hilarious whenever these two jokingly flirt with each other. XD
"Gure-san~" Ayame said in his usual overly dramatic voice. He strolled into Shigure's kitchen and froze for a moment, surprised to see Hatori standing there with a cup raised to his lips. The snake's eyes immediately lit up as a large smile spread across his face. "Tori-san!" he exclaimed as a greeting, eagerly darting over to him. "What on earth are you doing here on this lovely afternoon?"
"I suppose I could ask you the same question," Hatori replied calmly, taking a sip of his warm tea before lowering the glass from his mouth.
Ayame tossed his head back as he let out a purposely loud and slow laugh, his long silver hair sweeping backwards as he did so.
"I just thought I'd stop by and pay my darling little Gure-san a visit," he explained, after finally collecting himself again. A serious look momentarily flashed across his face as he added, "Of course, I also came by to check up on my younger brother, but I can see that he isn't home from school yet." His lips slowly curved into a mischievous smirk. "But I suppose that's all right, because now it means that Gure-san and I will be able to have some much needed alone time together."
The stoic look on Hatori's face didn't falter even the slightest bit as he replied in a dry tone, "It's comments like that one that truly make me wonder if you and Shigure are in some sort of hidden relationship and are steadily planning a secret rendezvous to run off and get married."
Ayame looked amused by that idea. His smirk widened as his eyelids slid down until they stopped halfway.
"Why, Tori-san, are you jealous?" he asked teasingly, his voice deepening as he added, "You know I'd never leave you."
Hatori purposely didn't respond to that, and instead simply took another sip from his tea. Luckily for both of them, Shigure chose that moment to finally come sauntering into his own kitchen.
"Aya-kun!" the dog said cheerfully. "When did you get here?"
Ayame's face brightened as soon as he laid eyes on Shigure. He placed his hands on his hips, smirking.
"Just a few moments ago, my love," he said, his voice dipping low to make himself sound more manly.
The look on Shigure's face suddenly mirrored Ayame's mischievous look as a sly smirk spread across the dog's face.
"Well, if I had known you were stopping by too," he said, lowering the pitch of his voice to match Ayame's husky tone, "I would've slipped into something a little more…comfortable."
A spark seemed to ignite in Ayame's eyes as he slowly glided across the kitchen, his hair swaying gracefully.
"Oh, Gure-san," he said in that same devilish tone, stopping right in front of Shigure. The two stared at one another for a long moment, grinning in a way that was anything but innocent. After what seemed like an eternity, Ayame finally broke the silence by whispering in a seductive voice, "You know I like you better without any clothing."
Shigure didn't have a chance to respond as he was suddenly grabbed by the back of his head and pulled into a heated kiss. A deep moan escaped from the back of Shigure's throat as he instinctively reached up and tangled his fingers into Ayame's smooth and shiny locks. The kiss quickly grew more passionate as Ayame's tongue slid inside Shigure's mouth, licking across the back of his teeth. Their tongues soon twisted together as they tugged harder on each other's hair, pulling their bodies closer together.
They were so caught up in their hot and steamy make-out session that neither one of them noticed when the door slid open. It wasn't until they heard a loud and unexpected crash that they immediately broke apart and jumped in surprise. They turned their heads to see a certain orange-haired cat standing in the doorway, his face pale and his nose scrunched up in complete and utter disgust. Behind him, peering over his shoulder, was Tohru Honda, whose eyes were as wide as plates and whose hair was bristled in shock. An unconscious Yuki lay there at her feet, his gray bangs sprawled across his pale face.
"Why, hello there, beautiful little Tohru-kun and handsome little Kyonkitchi," Ayame greeted them, as though nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. "Oh, my, is that my dear brother on the floor?"
Kyo said absolutely nothing as he promptly jerked his head away and reached for Tohru's hand, grabbing it hastily and yanking her in his direction. Angry footsteps thudded up the staircase as the faint sound of Tohru's trembling voice could be heard, "Ah, but, Kyo-kun, what about Yuki-kun and—" She was cut off by the sound of a door slamming shut.
Ayame and Shigure looked at each other, both with frowns on their faces. The moment didn't last long, however, as the two of them suddenly grinned widely and gave each other a thumbs up.
"Fools," Hatori muttered to himself, taking another sip of his drink.
Author's Note: Was that funny at all? I hope so. It was definitely tasteless, though, I know that much. XD