AN: ...hi guys. So, I got this chapter out, and it's a thing. Um, I'd appreciate reviews to critique my writing skills, because they really do help. Also if you're wondering if the story is near an end, I've decided (because I have this thing with numbers) that the story will be 30 chapters long, so there's only two left to go! It's about damn time I get this done anyways.
Also, I know it's a problem that I put these things out long after I put the last one out, but I just want things I write to be written to this fullest potential that my skills can get it to. I don't want to post something every week if it's crappy, so I hope these things are worth the wait. In reality it takes me a week or two to get the full plot of what's going to happen in a chapter, then it takes me another couple weeks (if nothing happens in my life) to write it and have a couple of my friends go over if it's nice or not. Just if you're wondering how this process goes and all.
America could slightly remember what happened when Italy came out to him. He visited Italy for a business trip and it was the last day he was going to be there. He remembered for most of the trip Italy looked uneasy and nervous about something, but he didn't really put any thought into it. He was staying at Italy's house and Italy made an Italian dinner of a garden salad and spaghetti. America absolutely loved Italian food and thought Italy was the best cooker in the world, and always looked forward to eating his cooking. When they were done, Italy put all the dishes in the sink and went back to America who was sitting at the table with a full stomach.
"You seriously know how to cook a good meal Feli!"
"Ve~, grazie Alfred!"
"It's a shame I'm leaving in the morning, it's fun hanging out with you."
"Ve~, I'm sad to see you leave too Alfred. At least we'll see each other again at the world meeting in a couple months!"
"Yeah that's true."
Italy went from a smiling face to a nervous frown, then asked America, "Hey uh, do you think we can talk outside about something?"
"Sure," America said curiously. What could Italy want to talk about?
They both walked outside to Italy's backyard patio, and sat on the patio furniture. Italy looked worried and America became concerned.
"You alright?" America asked.
"Alfred…I have something important to tell you…about me," Italy says.
"Oh? What is it?"
Italy's face started to go from nervous to fear, "Alfred, we're friends right?"
"Y-yeah, of course we are."
"And friends don't hide things from each other, right?"
"And…and friends accept friends for who they are no matter what…right?" Italy kept asked, now clenching his hands into sweaty fists.
"Of course! Dude, what's going on?"
Italy breathed in and out, and stood up in front of America, looking up at him in the eye.
"Alfred I…I'm gay."
"I-I am a homosexual."
America didn't know what to think of this at the time. For one, it's not that he hated gays, but he couldn't comprehend how someone could turn into that kind of person. It just wasn't right and kind of weird, you know?
"But you're all like, Catholic and stuff…"
"W-well, yeah I am—"
"And homosexuality is a sin, you know that right?"
"Do you not accept me for who I am?" Italy said in a shaky voice.
"It's just that…this doesn't make any sense! You're always chasing after girls and taking pictures with them and stuff, how could this have happen?"
"Who I am is frowned upon in our society, so I had to keep up with my reputation as the guy who'd hit on girls but never get any, while hiding who I really am. And it didn't just happen Alfred! I've just…come to terms with it now."
America scoffed, "I can't believe this," he looked at Italy with disrespect, "do you have feelings for me or something?"
"N-no! I…I'm actually dating someone."
"Feli you can't be serious—"
"I am serious!" Italy started to tear up.
"Feli this is bad. You can't just go off and do stuff with guys, you're going to get AIDS or something!"
"No I won't! My boyfriend is clean and we always use protection—"
"Ew dude, don't give me any details. Not to mention it's a sin and you'll go to hell!"
"That's for God to judge not you!" A tear streamed down Italy's face.
America stands up, "Well I already know what God's judgment is and it's you're committing a major sin and need to stop before it's too late!"
Italy could see that America wasn't accepting what he told him at all. The discussion ended up Italy having to defend himself and his beliefs, and America eventually went from trying to reason with Italy that he isn't gay to yelling at him some hurtful and offensive things. The rest of the night ended up with America staying in the guest room until early in the morning and leaving for the airport as soon as he could.
Japan knew about this incident was because the next week he went to visit Italy for a couple days just for fun and he saw how much of a wreck Italy was from what happened. Japan found out about Italy just a couple years ago (after some major speculation too), and accepted him because of his past relationships and his indifference about Italy's sexuality. When he was there, he ended up comforting him the whole time. Japan felt so bad for Italy because he and America were such good friends and it ended just like that.
Japan realized the kind of emotion he just showed to America. His blood was pumping from the rage he showed, and he regretted it. He pulled back from America and looked down in shame, "I'm sorry that I snapped on you like that."
"N-no, it's fine," America said in a heavy but quiet voice, "I'm glad you told me—both your past relationships and how you felt about me," America knew that he had already patched things up with Italy, but he still felt the guilt from what he said. He wishes he wasn't so arrogant with things like this; it always made him end up with broken friendships.
The rest of the afternoon consisted of both America and Japan working. America felt like it was about time he got back to working as much as he did on a regular basis, and Japan was the usual 'workaholic'. When it got to about 7pm and it was dark outside, America got out of his office, annoyed and exhausted at anything that had to do with politics, and fell onto his couch to turn on the TV to find anything to get his mind off of his work. Sadly, all he could find was 'Obama this' and 'gun control' that, he changed it to Boomerang to watch some kid shows. Boomerang was one of his favorite channels, it reminded him of the old days when things weren't as frustrating or complicated, when he was generally a happy-go-lucky guy. Although he was technically an adult, all the entertainment he needed was some old fashioned cartoons with a mouse severely injuring a cat and he felt better.
Japan was upstairs in the guestroom reading some manga online, when he could hear America laughing downstairs. He was curious what America was laughing about, so he closed his laptop and went downstairs. When he got to the living room, he saw that America was watching the classic cartoon Tom & Jerry. He knew that this was one of America's favorite cartoons; it was something he'd watch when he needed to be cheered up.
America noticed Japan and said, "Hey!"
"Hey," Japan mumbled.
"Wanna watch?" America points to the TV, "It's a classic!"
"Actually, can we talk for a minute?" Japan asked.
"Uh, sure," America turned off the TV and Japan went and sat on the other side of the couch. Japan looked unsure about what he was going to say, so America insisted and said, "What's going on?"
Japan looked at America, then at the empty screen of the TV and said, "Well the thing is…I'm glad that you are getting better, and you're eating more and having fewer nightmares but…"
"…but?" America said.
"…I've been staying here for the past month or so, and well…"
"…you want to go home?" America said.
Japan looked at America, concerned that he hurt his feelings and said, "It's not that I'm sick of you or anything! It's just—"
"Its fine Kiku," America said nicely, "you have done way more than Iggy, Francis, and I have asked. My feelings aren't hurt that you just want to go home."
Japan felt relieved and his composure relaxed, "Thank you for understanding Alfred. Mainly it's also my boss that wants me to go, but I do also miss my home."
"It's perfectly fine…so when are you leaving?"
"I was going to plan to leave on Sunday."
"Hmm, that's soon."
America smiled and joked, "Well it was fun while it lasted!"
Japan grinned, "Besides having problems with your condition, staying here was nice."
America swallowed hard to look at Japan and say, "Kiku, I seriously can't thank you enough for being with me through all this shit. It has meant a lot to me."
Japan started to blush from America looking at him, so he looked away and said, "I should be thanking you as well."
"You've been here for me too. You helped me realize that I shouldn't end my life as soon as I wanted to. To tell you the truth, when you found me in the forest that was the closest I've ever been to ending it all, but you helped me see at the last minute what I was doing was foolish."
America didn't say anything, and Japan continued, "Although we've known each other for the past couple hundred years, I feel like we both learned more about each other from the past month than all of those other years. We actually have more in common than we thought we did."
The moment felt as if the world was taking in Japan's conclusion to the time America and he spent together. America looked at Japan in awe, and realized that this could be the only few chances he gets now to confess his feelings. Even now he could feel his heart pounding and how all he wanted to do was kiss (and possibly more) Japan's lips. Japan soon got up and went to the kitchen. America then ran up to his room and grabbed his journal.
Japan is leaving soon, and I've got to act fast.
I know I like him. I like Kiku a lot. But how in the world do I tell him? I mean, I still haven't used Feli's advice, but I'm too afraid! Oh, speaking of which, Japan finally told me about his sexuality. Apparently he has dated a couple men back in the day, even when he was a ninja! To be truthful though, he's already into some pretty weird stuff, so I wasn't that surprised when he told me. But that's not the only thing that happened. I found out that most of the major countries already knew about this and I didn't! I asked him why, and he brought up about what I did to Feli awhile back…
Those are things I don't like to remember, hurting those I care about just because of my own arrogant opinion.
Anyways, I didn't talk to him for awhile after that, mainly because Kiku had to finish a project, and I had to deal with all the bullshit that my politicians had created and started. God, what I would give for a civil-working Congress that actually solves problems. Dammit I got off track again, anyways, after that I went to watch some cartoons, and then Kiku came in and told me that he was leaving soon. I swear this is something out of a chick flick, where the dude has only so long to tell the girl that he loves her and blah blah blah romance stuff.
Oh no, has my life become a depressing chick flick? My life might as well be on fucking Lifetime.
"The depressing anorexic girl who would soon perish if it weren't for her friend for coming in and helping her through her troubles, and they soon fall in love and are together forever! Coming on Friday at 8/7C only on Lifetime."
…wow. Now I really have to make sure no one gets a hold of this journal.
I am going to miss Kiku though. Although I have 51 children, they're all so busy with their own problems, they rarely come over to see me, and so it was nice to have company. Kiku also said that I helped him too through his own troubles and I'm glad he's doing better too. Someone as cool and amazing as him shouldn't want to kill themselves.
Before he leaves I have to tell him. I will. Maybe I should tell him the night before so if he doesn't feel the same way, he doesn't have to dwell awkwardly around my place until he has to leave for the airport. And I'll get flowers! Cherry Blossoms I guess? And uh…man I haven't been romantic in a looong time, and it's not making it any less weird that I'm being romantic towards a male friend that I now have fallen for. Oh I know what I'll do! I'll give him the flowers and then say like a quick monologue on what the hell I'm doing and then tell him! Maybe if I do it romantically enough, he'll fall for me! Yes, this is going to work!
I am going to make Kiku my boyfriend!