It had been three days since I'd last spoken to Carlisle. I had called him to let him know Bella was safe.
"I'll call you when I have new information, until then just keep protecting Bella," he'd instructed. Bella had been asleep when he'd called and my mind had been wandering about something specific since I'd picked her up from school.
"Carlisle…maybe we need to think about the possibility, that maybe Bella would be better off as one of us." I'd said, waiting for the "absolutely not's" and "have you gone mad's" but instead the phone fell silent and I heard him let out a deep breath.
"We may have no other choice." He'd relented then ended the call. That conversation was all I had been thinking about for three entire days. I'd watch Bella sleep and my heart would twist thinking about her never sleeping again, never dreaming. I'd always wanted Edward to change Bella, I'd always thought it would be so much easier for all of us but now…now I understood.
I laid down with Bella, wrapping my arms around her protectively. She wiggled a bit and rolled over to face me.
"Any news?" she asked. I kissed her softly on the forehead.
"No, no one's called."
I'd stopped keeping tabs on Bella's emotions, there were too many for me to handle. One moment she'd be content and the next second she would flood with guilt and pain.
Bella stood up, I didn't have to read her emotions to know she was frantic.
"We're going back," she demanded. She started going around the room shoving random objects into her duffle bag. I had to admit that I wanted to get up and start packing with her, not knowing whether or not my family was alright, alive, I wanted to get in the car and head home too. Something had changed in me though; suddenly I was more concerned with Bella. As long as I still had her I could get through anything else.
"We can't go home Bella, we have to keep running until we figure out what to do," I felt like crying. It killed me that I couldn't go home, and it killed me to know that Bella was so scared.
"You need to change me."
She hadn't asked any of us to change her for a long time, she had asked Edward at least a thousand times but after he left she'd only asked a few times, then stopped all together.
"Bella, that's not what you want. You and I both know that," I said.
"What are you talking about? That's all I've wanted since the get-go!" she yelled, exasperated.
"Then why haven't you asked in so long?" I challenged.
"I haven't asked because I could tell I was annoying the shit out of you guys. The last thing I want is to be a bother to anyone, you know that."
I looked at her, tears flowing down her cheeks. Here we were hiding away from something that we could never outrun. I remembered how much I'd wanted Edward to change her, I remembered how he felt every time someone brought it up. It made him sick, like he was crumbling from the inside. That's how I felt now. I also remembered what he'd told us though,
"Only when all our options run out, I'm not going to end her unless there is absolutely no other way."
"Well, I think you may get your wish." I kissed her then took out my cell phone, praying that Carlisle answered.
"Carlisle?" I called into the phone.
"You can't call me! What are you thinking?" he whispered into the phone.
"I'm going to change her," I told him.
"Son, no. If Bella is to be changed then I'll do it myself," he explained trying to hide his frustration.
"We don't have time for that Carlisle, we're running out of options and as much as I'd love for Bella to stay human…we both know she was meant to be one of us. Alice told us that a long time ago." I glanced at Bella, she was laying across the bed watching the rain hit the windowpane. She was so beautiful.
"Jasper, the amount of control you need…it takes centuries to build," he pleaded.
"Listen to me, Aro has sent a few members of the Volturi to Forks, they haven't made it to Alaska yet. Sam called me yesterday for a heads up; I guess they hadn't realized we moved so that buys us a few days. Let me think of what to do, I'll call you tomorrow with a plan, I promise. Just leave her be for now son, leave her human."
"This is insane, what about Emse, Rose and Em? They're in danger, we all are. Ed and Alice…please let me just take care of this," I begged.
"Not unless there are no other options…"he said, finalizing the conversation. I hung up the phone in frustration.
"What is it?" Bella asked as I sulked back into the room.
"The Volturi are in Forks. We're getting more screwed by the second," I admitted though I knew it would frighten her. I plopped into a chair near the bed, Bella got up and walked over to me, sitting on my lap.
"What should we do?" she nuzzled her head into my shoulder. I smelled her sweet fragrance fill my nostrils. I grabbed her hips aggressively and twisted her around so she was straddling me. I crushed my lips against hers, ripping her shirt off her body.
"Jasper," she moaned as I caressed her with my hands.
"Do you trust me Bella?" I whispered, my hands shaking for the first time in God knows how many years.
"Of course," she whispered back then kissed me deeply. I picked her up and laid her down on the bed.
Moving my mouth over her chest, right above where her heart was, I licked the spot with my tongue.
"I love you Bella," I told her, then I sunk my teeth into her chest. The second I felt her blood hit my lips I pulled back and sealed the wound with my venom.
"Fuck!" Bella sat up, touching the spot where I'd bitten, "That really hurt," she snapped. I was astounded at how completely stupid I was. I hadn't bitten deep enough for the venom to spread into her bloodstream, I'd just marked her. God I was such a fuck up.
"Am I going to turn into a vampire?" she asked, her heartbeat quickening.
"No, I don't think so," I whimpered, "I'm so stupid…now you'll carry that scar your entire life human or vampire. I'm so sorry Bella." I was disgusted with myself. I collapsed into the chair again. Bella slowly walked over to me and kissed the top of my head.
"Please…" I begged, "Don't pretend this is okay. I bit the shit out of you, like a fucking monster." I turned my head away from her.
"Yeah, you did. I'll have this scar for the rest of my life?" she asked taking my hand in hers.
"Yes, I'm so sorry," I cringed. She placed my hand over her wound.
"Good. I belong to you," she smiled. I wasn't sure what my expression was but it made her laugh. "What? Did I freak you out or something?"
"No, no," I stood up taking her head in my hands, "That was just an unexpected response," I said.
"Well, it was kind of an unexpected bite…" she giggled.
"Does it hurt terribly?"
She laughed again. "I've had worse," she said rubbing her hand over the scar on her arm from James, she looked back up at me, "Much worse."
"Bella, I want to change you."
"Yeah, I gathered that," she smirked.
"I just don't know how. I mean, I know how, I just don't know…" I trailed off. Not really sure of what I was trying to convey.
"Jasper, I love you. I trust you, you'll do the right thing at the exact right time."
"I'm not so sure," I mumbled.
"So…how did my blood taste? I know you had to get at least a drop."
"I-I don't know," I admitted. I hadn't been thinking about it when it was happening, her blood in my mouth. I'd been too afraid I was going to kill her.
"Well that is disappointing…so anti-climactic," she joked. She was still topless which I rather enjoyed. She bent down to rid herself of her shorts.
"I guess I do owe you…" I grinned devilishly.
"Let's go take a shower," she said, grabbing the hem of my shirt pulling me towards the bathroom.
I did have to admit to myself, fucking Bella in the shower with my bite mark on her chest…that was the hottest thing I'd ever seen in my life.
A/N: Whoa, sorry to cockblock you there. Also REALLY sorry that it's been a while since I've updated, it's been a way busy week- I had like 6 exams. Anyway it's the weekend now and with no plans I fully intend to stay in my pj's, eat a crapload of ice cream and have a Twilight marathon. Mucho inspiration coming my way =P