Disclaimer; I do not own Star Wars, anything I might have mentioned like batman or tarzan, and I don't think I own the purple teddy bear ballet either... credit to Purplegirl33 (not on this site) for helping me create this. Enjoy the madness...
When Ahsoka left her jedi quarters one morning, she hadn't anticipated the sight of her jedi master, Anakin Skywalker, who was supposed to set an example to her, dressed head to toe in black spandex, a pair of wings made of black duvet covers, and a mask of a bat. Ahsoka blinked several times, frowning, and pinched herself. She had to be dreaming. Oddly, she found herself still there, and Anakin still dressed up like a bat. Finally deciding to find out exactly what he was up to, she asked cautiously,
"Master… why are you dressed up like a bat?"
In reply, Anakin simply climbed up the doorframe and hitched his knees over the overhanging light from the ceiling, and using his 'wings' covered his face. Ahsoka frowned at her master, and slowly walked away from him, down the corridor. She decided to ask her master's former master, Obi-wan Kenobi, if he had any idea for why her master was acting so strangely. Little did she know that Anakin wasn't the only one acting strangely?
On the way to Obi-wan's quarters, she spotted several wax crayon scribblings on the walls and floor. As she focused on them, she realised that they were all little smiley faces. Had this not been the jedi temple, Ahsoka would have found it entertaining. But this was the jedi temple, and Ahsoka was puzzled. She was even more puzzled when she saw who was scribbling them. It was jedi master Aayla Secura.
"Umm, Master Secura, what are you -?" Ahsoka didn't get time to finish what she was asking. Aayla cut her off with an ear-splitting shriek and began racing away from her as fast as her legs could carry her. Ahsoka jammed her fingers in her ears as tightly as she could, getting very confused.
"Doing." She finished quietly, following the corridor to Master Kenobi's quarters.
Ahsoka tapped on the door of Obi-wan's quarters, only to catch sight of him also doing something completely insane. Over his jedi robes, Obi-wan was wearing a purple tutu, and on a headband he had a set of purple teddy bear ears. He frowned at her, and in a slightly gruff voice asked her,
"Is it something important? Because I'm preparing for my audition at the purple teddy bear ballet, so as you can see, I'm very busy, so if you'll excuse me," At that, Obi-wan slammed the door in Ahsoka's stunned face.
"Purple teddy bear ballet?" she asked herself incredulously.
Ahsoka then began to think about whom else might have any sanity left. It wasn't long before she came up with a few ideas. Master Yoda was her first port of call. He surely had to have escaped the insanity that was rife in the jedi temple. So she began to make her way to the other side of the jedi temple.
Ahsoka cam across master Yoda far sooner than expected. She saw him, sprinting around the temple corridor as fast as his legs would take him, a shopping trolley in his clawed hands, the trolley piled high with Bratz dolls, Sindy dolls and Barbies. The trolley was piled high so much so that Master Yoda could not see over the top of it, and so he, and the trolley, soon collided with Ahsoka's side. After Ahsoka brushed herself off, she looked around herself, alarmed not to see master Yoda anywhere. She quickly started shifting the scattered dolls about, searching for the aged jedi master. But no sooner had she begun searching for him, he bounced out of the large heap of the numerous dolls behind her.
"BARBIES! I LOVE BARBIE!" Yoda shouted like a five year old on a sugar high, throwing a few of them up in the air excitedly, and they fell down like hailstones rather than confetti.
Ahsoka began to move away slowly, uncomfortably fidgeting. If Master Yoda had gone insane, then who else could she turn to? She soon laid her finger on the answer. Mace Windu, possibly the most boring and sombre member of the jedi council, wouldn't have gone insane. Master Windu, thinking about it, would probably have to check the intergalactic dictionary for the definition of the word 'fun'. Little did she realise that her hopes would be shattered once more…
Ahsoka was dumbfounded when she came across Mace Windu, along with Ki-Adi Mundi, in ninja suits. Or at least, when they jumped down on her, armed with foam swords and water pistols. Ahsoka screamed as she was blasted with jets of cold water from Ki-Adi Mundi's water pistol, and received a tickle attack from Mace Windu. The attack lasted less than a minute, but Ahsoka remained in the same stunned position for what felt like hours afterwards. Deciding that she couldn't come across anything weirder, she decided to go and get something to eat. With something inside of her, she decided, she would be able to think more clearly.
When Ahsoka reached the cafeteria, a voice behind her calmly spoke,
"I wouldn't have the coffee if I were you."
Ahsoka spun around to see her friend Barriss, leaning on a trolley holding several stacks of plates.
She sighed loudly in relief.
"Phew! I'm not the only SANE one around here!"
"After their meeting this morning, they all had coffee. But the coffee was spiked with some kind of chemical that reacts with the blood, causing everyone to go hyper. I think that it's affected everyone differently.
Almost as if to prove Barriss's point, Saesee Tiin came in from a rope on the ceiling, in a batman rig up. Ahsoka facepalmed, but Barriss laughed. It became even funnier when Adi Gallia, dressed as Catwoman, began flirting with Saesee, and the two continued with their fight out of the hall.
The peace was soon disrupted once more as Agen Kolar, dressed as a red Indian, came running in with Eeth Koth chasing him, Eeth dressed as a cowboy. The two carried on with their insane battle of foam arrows and toy pop-guns, completely ignoring the two girls. As both Zabrak jedi left, the two spared a look at each other before they burst out laughing whole-heartedly. The laughing lasted several minutes, and after Ahsoka picked herself up, she had an evil gleam in her eyes that signified that she had an idea.
"Barriss… there's still some of that coffee left." She spoke in a cheeky, suggestive manner.
An evil gleam lit up Barriss's eyes.
"Do you think we should?" Ahsoka asked, smirking.
"We probably shouldn't. Then again, they aren't exactly being role models, are they?" Barriss grinned.
Still smirking, the two took cups of intoxicated coffee and gulped them down greedily.
"It'll take a quarter of an hour to take effect," Barriss explained, wiping the corner of her mouth with her cuff, "So why don't we get some more laughs while we're still sane?"
Ahsoka smile deviously, nodding. So they both exited the jedi temple, a hilariously chaotic scene awaiting them. Plo Koon was dressed up like a starfish, trampolining. Kit Fisto stood in one of the outdoor grassy training grounds, letting the younglings dress him up like a snowman and throw shaving cream at him in place of snow, as it was a sunny day. Luminara Unduli, Shaak Ti and Stass Allie were all parading around with a giant banner of Jabba the Hutt, emblazoned with the words, "JOIN THE FAN CLUB OF THE SEXY BEAST!"
Ahsoka quivered. The chemical was taking affect. She looked over to Barriss. She was quivering too. They ignored Quinlan Vos, who was acting and dressed like Tarzan, and after the quivering it soon transpired as of how the chemical had reacted with them. Both got down to their hands and knees, and when Ahsoka began meowing, Barriss greeted it with a loud, "RUFF RUFF!" Ahsoka the cat gave a frightened screech and began running away as fast as one could on ones hands and knees, and Barriss began chasing her at a similar speed. So for the rest of the morning, and most of the afternoon for that matter, the Jedi Temple remained in that chaos.
Later that afternoon, Anakin shook his head multiply and fell down from the overhanging light, confused as for why he was in a bat suit and had a headache from hanging upside down for most of the day.
Meanwhile, Obi-wan shook his head in disbelief as he looked in a mirror. He quickly plucked the teddy bear ears from his head and ripped the purple tutu from his waist, and said to himself, "I know about tea being my tipple, but this is ridiculous! What drove me to this…?"
Aayla, Yoda, Ki-Adi Mundi and Mace all slammed into each other, incredulous looks upon all of their faces.
"Master Yoda, are those Barbies?" Aayla stifled a giggle.
"AAYLA SECURA! Did you scribble all of those…?" Mace exclaimed in horror.
"Barbies, they are, Master Secura. Ashamed, I am. Also ashamed, I am, of you, Masters Windu and Mundi. Good ninjas, you were not." Yoda spoke in his irritating way.
Both Ki-Adi Mundi and Mace Windu hung their heads in shame, removing the bandanas that covered their faces.
Outside, Kit Fisto, Plo Koon and Quinlan Vos all looked at each other in confusion. Quinlan blushed scarlet as he realised all he was wearing was fur knickers and quickly headed back inside, searching for wherever it wa he had left his Jedi Robes. Kit and Plo were soon joined by Jabba's very confused ex fan club, and were joined moments later by Cowboy Eeth, Indian Agen, Catwoman Adi and the still-hyper Ahsoka the cat, who was cascaded into the still hyper Barriss the dog. The masters then looked at each other in shame, realising that this is what they must have looked like to the younglings. They all soon quickly decided that they should attempt to separate the jedi – cat and jedi – dog before they managed to hurt each other. So Plo Koon, Adi Gallia and Kit Fisto tag-teamed in holding back Ahsoka, while Luminara Unduli, Eeth Koth and Agen Kolar worked together in holding back Barriss.
A few moments later, both padawans regained their senses. Barriss looked around to the other jedi and smirking stated,
"I won't be having any more of that coffee any time soon."