So this is a very, VERY random idea. Please, do not take this seriously. It's not meant to be. It's meant to be for a bit of a laugh and to satisfy fangirl dreams :)
And the characters are probably OOC, too. Sorry about that.
Disclaimer: Don't own Megamind. Would've probably ended up like this if I did :)
It was Just Meant to Be
Straightening his cape, Metro Man prepared to fly to Roxanne's rescue for what seemed like the millionth time (and it could very easily be more), but not before he made sure everything was set for that evening. A table covered in a white tablecloth, with two chairs either side, rose in a vase, and a romantic view of the sun sinking below the horizon. Nothing too fancy, just the way Roxanne likes it.
In his pocket he felt the little box, which contained the ring he hoped she would accept. Unlike the last time. Almost a year before, he had proposed to her; extravagant music, soaring through the air with her, fireworks, and the words "will you marry me?" burnt into a nearby field, curtsy of himself and his laser vision. Boy, had his ego been dented when she flat out refused him.
Her reasons were simple: she didn't love him, he wasn't her type, and she hated it when men went over the top. Which was why he'd gone for the more simple approach, but still showing a little bit of class. His ego wouldn't allow anything less.
And he knew Roxanne had to say "yes" this time. After all, she was in her mid thirties and still unmarried, and with no other guys in the picture. If there was one thing Metro Man was sure of, it was that Roxanne's main goal was to be married before she was forty, and maybe even have a child (if not, then at least one on the way). So really, she didn't have much choice, and it was something he would explain to her when he asked. It was destiny.
After straightening out the cutlery, Metro Man took off at a steady pace towards the location of Megamind's Lair. It didn't take very long, thanks to his super speed, and he decided to go for a more stealthy approach by sneaking in the back way as opposed to crashing in like he usually did. Not only did he want to mix things up a little bit, but crashing in usually resulted in momentarily getting caught in whatever trap Megamind had prepared for him, and that sometimes ended in a ripped suit. He wanted to look his best for Roxanne.
So he silently crept through the Lair, approaching the sound of tappings and voices which belonged to the people he'd known all his life. Minion, Megamind's fish, was undoubtedly preparing the latest plan, while Megamind was undoubtedly making a failed attempt at scaring Roxanne. Which usually resulted in sarcastic comments being thrown back and forwards.
As the superhero crept closer, his super hearing was able to pick up what the two adversaries were saying to one another; it was the usual witty banter, but this one was...different. It wasn't as fast paced as it usually was, and their voices almost sounded...seductive. It didn't come as a surprise to Metro Man; Roxanne would often try this approach to weaken Megamind, but he had learnt his lesson long ago and was no longer "tempted by the temptress".
But this time...even that sounded different. It sounded almost like Megamind was giving in to her tricks. Well, it was certainly something he wanted to see, so crept closer still and peaked around the corner...
...just in time to see Megamind and Roxanne exchange a deep, passionate kiss.
The hero was stunned. So stunned, that he physically couldn't move for a couple of minutes. He ignored the eye-roll on Minion's part; his attention was on the two in the middle of the room, Roxanne tied to a chair with Megamind standing over her, and their lips meeting. It wasn't that they were kissing which had Metro Man so stunned; it was the fact that Roxanne was letting him.
When he finally blinked back to reality, they were still kissing. Enough was enough. He flew forwards and slammed down hard on the floor as he landed, catching the room's occupants attentions. Minion let out a little shriek whist Megamind immediately leapt away from Roxanne. He blushed bright purple and shrunk at Metro Man's glare.
"Um... I can explain!" he stammered nervously.
"What did you do?" Metro Man demanded immediately. "Brainwash her, or something?"
"Wayne, I'm fine," Roxanne assured the hero, and for the first time, he noticed the content look on her face. "He hasn't brainwashed me."
The super gave her a closer look; but even with his super vision, he couldn't deny that she was telling the truth. Her eyes weren't clouded up, her body wasn't flopped over or lanky, and she wasn't even talking in a droning voice. No, she looked perfectly fine; in fact, there was even a glint in her eyes which had never been there before whenever he was rescuing her.
And it was because of...Megamind?
"OK, will someone tell me what's going on here?" he demanded, folding his arms across his perfectly packed chest. "Most importantly, Megamind, why were you kissing my girlfriend?"
"Ugh! For the last time, I'm not your girlfriend!" Roxanne groaned.
"She can't be your girlfriend if she's already married," Minion muttered, purposely busying himself with the computer.
Metro Man's eyes widened.
"What did you just say?"
"Nothing! He didn't say anything!" Megamind immediately replied, hurriedly trying to cover it up. "He said...she can't be your girlfriend because she hates being carried! Yes, that's it! She hates being carried by you!"
"Although that is true... Megamind, we can't hide this forever," Roxanne spoke up, her blue eyes looking directly at the villain.
Metro Man's eyes looked between the pair, and he made the connection instantly. Please tell me this isn't happening...
But it was and had. Roxanne told him everything; how after he had proposed to her a year ago, she'd had a breakdown. She didn't want to marry him, but knew that if she didn't, she may never get asked by a man again (it was hard to get a date when you were rumoured to be the girlfriend of the most powerful man on the planet). She'd had this breakdown when Megamind had kidnapped her; and seeing the woman he, deep down, had a crush on (although he refused to admit it), break down like this, he decided to casually "pop the question".
Roxanne had even surprised herself at her reaction. Instead of getting angry and shouting at him, she had been very surprised, and had actually considered it. She had done so for three reasons: she'd just had a breakdown about ending up a spinster and wanting to get married, and at that moment, she would consider any offer; not only had Megamind not gone over the top with it (which was a record for him), but she'd always had an interest in guys who were more brain than brawn; and of course, although she would never admit it in a million years, she was secretly attracted to Megamind's dark side.
But he was still the guy who'd kidnapped her for years, plus she didn't really know anything about him, so she replied as a mature adult would do; they'd get to know each other first outside of kidnappings, and she would later come to her decision. So for the next seven months they went on dates, Megamind wearing his holowatch to protect his identity for the benefit of both their reputations and to avoid the gawking stares they would most definitely receive. And during that time, Roxanne really got to know Megamind; under all that leather and villainy, he was actually a great guy. Sweet, caring, charming, funny, and even sensitive. In other words, the whole villain thing was just an act; thrust upon him by society and what was expected of him.
It was towards the end of these dates that Roxanne realized that she had, without a doubt, fallen in love with him, so said yes to his proposal just months before. Their wedding was unorthodox, of course; with Minion as best man and a witness, a Brainbot as a second witness, Roxanne with no bridesmaid (she had friends, of course, but she didn't want to tell them she was getting married, only because of who the groom was), and a very scared and frightened vicar performing the ceremony (of course, once it was over and the papers had been signed, he was knocked out with the Forget-Me-Stick and forgot that any of it had ever happened).
Since then, for the past few months, the two of them had been hiding their new status. Roxanne had secretly moved into the Lair with Megamind (which made sense, since she'd been recently asking Metro Man to just drop her off at the bottom as opposed to on her balcony), and things had gone on as normal to avoid raising suspicion. But, as Roxanne had said, they couldn't hide it forever, for someone would find out eventually. And that someone had to be Metro Man, of all people.
The hero just stood in silence throughout the entire tale. He was shocked, confused, and even slightly hurt. His ego was damaged and crumbled by the time Roxanne finished; to think, she would choose a blue, skinny alien over a guy like him?
"Wayne, I know you still have feelings for me, but please don't take this out on Megamind," Roxanne explained. "I liked you as a friend, but nothing more than that. Megamind and I... well, I guess it was just meant to be."
Metro Man tried to work up an anger (and punching the little blue guy's giant head seemed like a satisfying idea), but he couldn't. He saw how happy Roxanne looked; how her eyes gleamed when they gazed upon his rival, and knew that it wasn't worth it. He hadn't gotten the girl. For the first time, the hero had lost the girl.
"Then I guess this is all over," he sighed. "Admit it, we can't go on like this with the two of you married. It wouldn't be the same at all. And there's also the possible scenario of you two having kids."
"Now, now, we haven't gotten that far, yet," Megamind denied.
"We're not even sure if we can," Roxanne added.
"But it's still a possibility," Metro Man explained. "So I think it's best we call it quits. I won't bother either of you again."
And before either of them could say anything more, he was gone, soaring off out the window and into the sky. When he was out of sight, Metro Man took out the box from his pocket which contained the ring, and threw it out across the water (no doubt it would probably land in another country). The hero heaved a heavy sigh, and to satisfy his annoyance, he punched and dented the side of an abandoned building.
Looking back over the story, I've only just realized how much it's like another oneshot on here (I think it's called Didn't See That Coming). I would just like to say that this was not intentional. I've only just realized, and I really don't want to go back and edit the story.
Don't like? Then click the back button and say not a word. Like I said, it was a silly idea which I had to write; it's not meant to be taken seriously. And if you can't accept that, then don't comment.
But if you liked it, then REVIEW!