A/N: So…normally something like this would be placed in "Hello World" (which I think few people are reading because it's incomplete, but really guys, it's all one-shots and they're hilarious so check it out) but it was far too long and deserved to be posted by itself. This was inspired by a RP conversation with Kat, as always. This was so much fun to write. Hope you all enjoy this!
NOTE: Assume all the nations are relatively 13 (unless otherwise stated) at the time they are talked to, and all other ages are also relative.
*Kou = Hong Kong *Mei = Taiwan
There is a monumental event in the life of every man and woman. Something never forgotten and often passed on years later. And that, is the infamous "sex talk."
For nations, this event was much the same, though the circumstances were a bit different.
When the Ancients disappeared, the eldest of the budding nations were left to figure things out from their people and through their own experiences, but decided to help their younger friends and charges by explaining the ways of the world.
Arthur was fortunate to receive quite possibly the only normal talk Francis ever gave – also the first he ever gave – for the older blonde was only sixteen, and his only experience was Antonio. By seventeen, Arthur was back for a…demonstration.
Ludwig had the great honor of learning about the most intimate and beautiful display of love from Gilbert. He would later muse that it was no wonder his country's pornography was the way it was. It was also Lovino's argument that such a poisoned mind should not be allowed near Feliciano.
Lovino's talk was awkward…on Lovi's end. Antonio was open and straightforward with him, and encouraged him to come to him with any questions he had, assuring him they could talk about anything. Lovino spent the entire event fidgeting and blushing furiously (and consequently being called an "adorable little tomato"). It was not the subject that embarrassed him, but the fact that he was hearing such things from Antonio, on whom he already had a massive crush.
Feliciano was another matter entirely. Roderich tried, upon discovering Feli's true gender. Francis tried. Antonio tried. But every time, Feliciano's innocent child-like mind simply did not understand. Finally, it took Lovino to get through to him. When asked about the incident, Lovi would only grumble under his breath, never revealing exactly what he did or said.
Yao was the eternal virgin, but in a few millennia it would be impossible not to pick up on how such things work. And so, he found it of great importance to inform his younger siblings.
Kiku was quiet and reserved, but not at all embarrassed. He took the information thoughtfully and moved along. Yao only wished they had all been that easy.
He chose to speak to Kou and Mei at an earlier age. He felt Kou was mature enough to handle such a discussion and absorb the information and he was right, though he questioned his decision when his younger brother began drawing porn.
As for Mei, he wanted to speak to her before her body started changing, as she had no example of what to expect.
Unfortunately for Yao, his two youngest siblings were nearly inseparable as children, and for this reason they…compared their talks. Upon realizing they'd been told different information, they accused Yao of lying to them. There was an explanation Yao never wanted to live through again.
And then, there was Yong Soo. Yao almost regretted speaking to him on the matter at all. He was wildly curious and kept asking blunt and almost graphic questions. This was the only talk of all four that actually caused Yao to blush at the things he had to say.
He also regretted it because this began Yong Soo's hobby of breast-claiming. If he could erase one decision in his life…
For Arthur's part, his cooperative child was Matthew. He blushed faintly but listened and nodded, and had only one question: "So…that's what was going on…when Al and I walked in on you and Francis that time…?"
Arthur blushed and nodded, both of them apologized for that incident once again, and Arthur made a hasty retreat from the room.
Arthur later learned that Francis had assumed his information was insufficient and took it upon himself to give Matthew a more through explanation on the ways of "l'amour."
He tried to tell Alfred what he told Matthew, but Alfred kept interrupting him, bright-eyed and inquisitive, many of his questions delving into personal territory, which made Arthur uncomfortable. But he knew Alfred was still fairly innocent and meant no harm, so he answered honestly where he could and steered the conversation away from the more awkward questions.
Arthur attempted such a discussion with Kou, unaware that Yao had taken care of the issue before his brother was taken from him.
Kou, however, made no attempt to inform Arthur of this, but instead questioned him – ruthlessly. Far worse than anything Alfred asked, and deliberate, just to watch Arthur squirm. Years later, as Kou recounted the story to his newly reunited family, only Kiku showed any sympathy for his old friend, and even he could not deny that it was rather amusing.
Yes the sex talk is a rite of passage that all young people – even countries – must endure. Though, based on the parties involved, it is uncertain whether the speaker of the listener has more "enduring" to do.
A/N: So there it is! I'm aware that the general fanon name for Hong Kong is Xiao or Xiang, but I really can't stand either one, and Kou just seems to fit him to me. I had a lot of fun writing this story and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please review! And go check out "Hello World." It's about to get a ton of updates. Thanks for reading!