A/N: This is only a one-shot. Summary is easy: Dom, Arthur and Eames discuss their top five favorite women. Fanfic author jimi18 originally came up with the plot for the Vampire Diaries, but it has a different storyline.
"Hey Dominic!" Arthur yelled out once entering the warehouse. Cobb, sitting hunched over at the desk looking at some paper, rolled his eyes and placed his pen down.
Cobb let out a sigh. "What?"
Arthur ignored him; instead he said to Eames, "Check around to see if anybody's here,"
"Alrighty." Eames replied while searching the place for any lone pedestrian. When nothing was found, he nodded towards Arthur who smirked at him in return, and turned towards Cobb who was staring at them intently.
"Dom, let's have a talk. You know, man to man… to man." He added, forgetting Eames was there for a second.
Cobb raised a brow. "Why?"
"According to research done by us, men should tell their secrets from time to time." Eames said, grabbing a chair to sit next to Cobb.
"Right. So…" Arthur agreed and got himself a chair to roll to the other side of Cobb. "Spill."
Cobb smiled, thinking they were stupid enough to ask him to tell them his secrets. Like he had any…! He didn't – couldn't – wouldn't have any secrets. He was too old for them. Well, not too old but in reality Dom didn't.
"I don't have anything to say." And with that, he got up to leave. Arthur and Eames stared at each other, not wanting to admit they were failing so far.
"I'll tell you my top five first," announced Eames. Arthur smacked his arm and Eames winced in return with an "ow!"
Cobb sighed, his eyebrows touching in frustration. "What top five?"
"Your top five women, Cobb. The first five women you think are hot. The five you would do it with." Arthur said really fast, getting annoyed. "Get it now, Cobb?"
"You. Two. Are. Crazy." Cobb declared.
"Oh, c'mon, Dom! Nothing's gonna happen to you. What happens within us, stay within us, okay?" Eames said. "I'll start. My top five is… Megan Fox, Kim Kardashian, Minka Kelly, Natalie Portman and a slight tie between Jessica Alba and Charlize Theron."
Arthur glanced at Cobb, who just stood there while Eames patiently waited for someone to go. Knowing Cobb wasn't, Arthur sighed.
"Ok, my top five is: Jessica Alba, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley –"
"Oh!" interrupted Eames. "Isn't Rosie going to be in Transformers: Dark of the Moon?"
Arthur shook his head and rolled his eyes. "I don't know! Anyways, Jessica, Rosie, Megan Fox, Shakira –"
"I like Megan,"
"Shut up, Eames. Jessica, Rosie, Megan, Shakira –"
"Whoa, Shakira, Arthur? Damn!" hollered Eames.
"What? I happen to like Latinas, too. Where was I? Umm, Shakira and Ari –"
"I always thought you were a nerdy-liking kind of guy, though –" Eames said absentmindedly as he looked at the ceiling.
"Would you shut up, Eames!" said Cobb. He was losing his patience badly.
Eames feigned a sad look while Arthur continued with his list. "Like I was saying before you rudely interrupted me… twice –"
"Ok, look, I want to apologize for interrupting you –" began Eames in a sincere tone, but he was again yelled at by an annoyed Cobb.
"Goddamitt EAMES SHUT THE FUCK UP! Let Arthur talk!"
"But I wanted to –" Eames didn't stop.
"EAMES!" Cobb and Arthur demanded angrily.
"OK, OK! I'll shut up, gosh…!" Eames hollered once again.
Arthur ran a frustrating hand through his hair and sighed heavily. "Jessica, Rosie, Megan, Shakira and Ari –"
"Can you pass me my water bottle, Cobb?" Eames whispered.
"Oh my god. I'm gonna kill him…" Arthur said under his breath. "I'm going to jail because of him 'cause if you don't shut-"
"I'm thirsty, Arthur!"
Cobb unleashed his arms from his chest, turned around to get the bottle and threw it at Eames when he was looking at Arthur because he was somehow growling. Eames yelped and fell back on his chair, earning a laugh by Cobb and Arthur.
"Jessica, Rosie, Megan, Shakira and Ariadne."
Eames had taken a gulp of the bottle, and sprayed it all over Arthur's back once he heard Ariadne's voice. Arthur yelled/screamed/cussed at Eames – Cobb was snickering loudly and hid his smile once Arthur gave him daggers, his face super red it made Cobb want to roll on the floor and laugh more.
"Well I'm be damned! Ariadne! Really?" said Eames, crossing his arms on his chest and a huge smile plastered on his face.
"Who's your top five, Cobb?" Arthur said by completely ignoring Eames from now on. He went to the restroom, and as he did, Eames whispered, "Mal" under his breath which made Arthur roll his eyes again and think about torturing Eames.
Cobb, taking the question into consideration, thought hardly on his top five. What came to his mind was Mal, Salma Hayek, Scarlett Johansson, Penelope Cruz and... Ariadne. Huh, he'd actually put Ariadne on his list. He couldn't deny it though – Ariadne was very attractive and smart and pretty and cute –
"Oh my goodness!" squealed Eames, one hand covering his mouth. "No. Waaaaay. No. Oh my – no! It couldn't… could it… Whoa! It's… Ariadne… isn't it, Cobb?"
Cobb chuckled, not gazing at Eames in any way that might make him think that is correct. But Eames knew him too well.
"Not you too! Damn, everyone thinking Ariadne is hot all of a sudden! Wow. I wonder when I'm gonna feel that way…"
"Dominic, you have Ariadne in your top five?" asked Arthur who had changed his clothing to not feel Eames' spit all over him. It was bad enough he had to be at least five feet near him.
"I didn't say that," Cobb said. "I didn't even say anything. Eames stupid self started giggling like a girl and said I did. But that's not true, Eames."
"That's a lie! Oh, dearest Dom, your silence said everything. I know Mal is in your top five, and probably a blonde, too and so is Ariadne because… you think Ariadne is pretty. Or cute. Sexy even –"
"Ok, Eames, we get it. Ariadne's hot." Arthur said. "It's okay if you put Ariadne in your top five."
"No it's not." said a female voice from behind Arthur and Eames. All of them looked in the dark hallway to see nothing, then a small figure who proved to be Ariadne. Her brown hair billowed over her shoulders, her strict face on.
"I can't believe you guys. You think you can just add me to your top five? I do not agree with that." She declared, pointing a finger to her chest.
Eames ran. In tow was Arthur. Only left was Cobb, who hadn't said his list yet but he was sure Ariadne had heard Eames talk about her possibly in Cobb's list.
Ariadne sighed, a hand running along the smooth brown hairs on her head and let out a sigh, her chocolate eyes burning into Cobb's blue ones.
"Am I in your top five, Cobb?"
Cobb was taken aback quickly.
"C'mon, Cobb, you can tell me. I won't care."
Nothing. She said nothing. Just stood there. Then she kissed him. More than a peck, but not a passionate kiss. Not something a wife would do, but a lover. Ariadne did the lover moves: hands around his neck, lips lazily moving around his, kissing him for no reason whatsoever. Except that she was thankful. Unlike Arthur, she thought it was cute of Cobb to put her on his top five. She thought of Arthur as a brother, but Cobb… more than brother.
Dom did the only thing he could do. And that was to kiss back. And he enjoyed it. They had to stop kissing because Eames' and Arthur's voice was returning. And they pretended it never happen.
But on the weekends, they were on.
A/N: Thanks for reading. Please review.