So the V-Day episode gave me a whole lot of ideas. :) The Superbowl ep, however, totally screwed with my "Dalton-is-a-boarding-school" head!canon. Gah.
Just a Teenage Boy
The truth is, Blaine had never even thought about dating Kurt. It had never crossed his mind that their interactions were flirtatious. He had just enjoyed hanging out with someone who got him, someone who let him rant about Vogue and football in the same conversation. Someone who wouldn't laugh at him when he teared up at Angel's death in RENT. Kurt quickly became his best friend. They told each other everything, met up for coffee every morning before school. Being Kurt's friend was safe, being his boyfriend was scary.
But ever since Valentine's Day, he couldn't stop thinking about it. Every time Kurt's fingers brushed against his hand as he passed over his Medium Drip, Blaine wondered what it'd be like to reach over and hold Kurt's hand. Every time they watched The Sound of Music, Blaine wondered what Kurt's head would feel like on his shoulder, how Kurt would react if Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist. Every time they parted ways after Warblers' rehearsal, Blaine wondered what Kurt's lips would feel like on his if he pulled him in for a good-bye kiss.
See, Blaine had never thought about being Kurt's boyfriend before. But now that he had, he couldn't stop thinking about it.
Which sucked, really. After all, they had had a long, mature conversation about staying friends. Kurt seemed to be fine with the result, but Blaine only wished he had the ability to go back in time, stop himself from serenading some guy he barely knew, instead singing to Kurt. Looking back, it should've been so obvious. They practically acted like they were dating anyway. They payed for each others' coffee, went to movies and plays, sang duets together just for the hell of it.
They still did all that, or course, but Blaine wants it to be different.
He wants to be Kurt's boyfriend.
He wasn't lying, he is totally clueless about this whole dating thing. He's not entirely sure what constitutes as flirting. He doesn't know how to go about asking someone out. He's not very good at talking about his feelings. He's just a teenage boy, after all. And he really, really likes Kurt. He likes having someone to talk to about fashion and boys and musicals. He likes being able to rant about his stupid problems and have someone that actually cares. He likes just being around Kurt, hearing him laugh when he tells a joke with a dorky punchline. And he really, really doesn't want to lose Kurt's friendship due to a nasty breakup.
Sometimes Blaine think's it's worth a shot. He'd really love to touch Kurt, hold Kurt, kiss Kurt. He wants to walk down the hallways hand-in-hand with Kurt Hummel, wants to introduce him as "my boyfriend", wants to go on dates that end in goodnight kisses and stomach butterflies.
But then he thinks about how many ways he could screw it up. Kurt could break his heart, or he could break Kurt's heart. They'd break up messily and angrily, and neither of them would be able to look at the other. Warblers' rehearsal would be awkward as hell and he'd lose one of the best friends he's ever had.
So, yes, Blaine would love to be Kurt's boyfriend. But he also loves being Kurt's friend, and he's pretty freaking terrified of losing that friendship. So for now, he'll settle for wishing, wanting, hoping for something more, until he can work up the courage to take that last step.