Morning All, hope this fine Sunday morning is treating you well wherever you are in the world! As promised, here is the next chapter, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I had fun writing it. The words just flowed and I just got to say love it when that happens. Makes my job writing the fic, more pleasurable when the characters aren't fighting so much to be heard. Anyway, let me know what you think about this - I'm always happy to have a yarn :)
P.S Big thanks to my awesome new beta LiamsGurl33. You rock!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or it's characters BUT I do own some fuck-awesome CD Albums that I blast (respectively) in my red beast of a car ;).
I examined the glorious honey brown spirit contained inside the dirty glass in my hand seconds before I slammed it down, enjoying the warmth as the thick liquid slid down my throat. The noise from the bar was merely a dull hum thanks to the generous amount of whiskey I had consumed. I craved the numbness, anything was better than feeling. I didn't want to admit that Bella meant something to me, that she ignited the darkest parts of me with just her smile. It had seemed like months since I'd last seen her and deep down, even though I'd never admit it to myself, it was fucking killing me.
I also didn't think leaving Alice would cut me up this much but after two years of friendship and not even two days of knowing Bella, everything in my life was back to shit. Even though it had only been one night, it was the first time in a long time that I was back to not belonging. I didn't have a home and my friendship with Alice over. Emmett was a good bloke but I couldn't see him taking my side over his sister's so I guess I could kiss my job goodbye. The hole in my chest just ripped that much wider and I struggled to push the crazy voices out of my head. I thought they had disappeared a long time ago but I guess they were biding their time, just waiting for the day I'd screw up so they could mess with my mind some more. I should've known that happiness wouldn't last forever. Not for someone like me.
"Another." I roared simultaneously shaking my head to clear it and slamming my fist onto the bar impatiently. Jacob, who was the main bartender tonight, was deep in conversation with a striking brown haired woman. He shot me a weary look before making his way over.
"Look man, I think you've had enough. I can't serve you anymore alcohol." He said quietly, averting his eyes.
"C'mon mate, just one more and I am out." I said holding the glass out for one last dose.
"Scouts honour," I added with a chuckle.
"Fuck man, who's paying for all this J? Emmett's gonna kill you." He muttered, as he poured me another glass.
"Just put it on my tab. Emmett's got my back but James, James can go suck a big fat one, I'm sure he'd enjoy it too." I said loudly, earning a few sniggers from some of the regular patrons at the bar. I expertly snatched the almost full glass from out beneath Jake who was still pouring my spirit and threw it down my throat savouring every last drop.
"Damn, quit doing that. You're wasting quality shit." He grunted and I chuckled at him as I slid off the bar stool.
"Just keep working on your reflexes mate. Later" I grinned as he flicked me off.
I gradually weaved my way through the crowd of people that were gathering for open mic night. I glanced at the stage and slowed to a stop. The woman with honey brown hair who was at the bar earlier, stood at the microphone, her lips were parted suggestively and her eyes were heavy with lust, all directed at me. A month ago, I would have had her in my bed, screaming my name but now I couldn't help but flinch under her gaze. I only had one brunette on my mind and it wasn't her. I broke from her stare and shouldered my way through the growing crowd to the exit, I needed some air.
Once outside, I felt the weight of emotions from the past few days side swipe me and I staggered backwards. A pair of strong arms latched onto my shoulder and steadied me preventing me from hitting the ground.
"You alright man?" I could make out Felix's distinct accent and nodded mutely.
"Good. Go home, you smell like shit." He cracked up, pushing me towards the road.
"Stop sniffing your pits Lix. That shit aint normal." I snickered, ignoring the death glare he shot at me.
I turned towards the path ahead and put one foot in front of the other, not really wanting to head back to the apartment but not in the mood to endure the cold night air either. Rather than complicate things, I let the soft thrum of passing cars on the highway lead me to my next destination.
"Fuck!" I kicked at a piece of glass in my path and watched as it tinkled its way to a stop in front of the next building. When did I let things get so out of control?
A soft crooning sound floated out from beneath the building ahead, where the piece of glass had stopped. I looked at the sign above the door, 'Roxy Red'. Of all the years I'd been gigging on the coast I hadn't stepped foot inside this bar. I couldn't remember why exactly but the voice within was so alluring I felt myself moving towards the big oak doors.
Intrigued by the sultry sound, I pushed open the bar doors and stepped through the dark entrance, following the short dim lit halls to the owner of the voice. I found what I was looking for in a small room to the right of the bar entrance.
I gravitated towards a vacant stool in a dark corner of the room and taking a seat I turned my head towards the stage. The woman performing had thick flaming red hair down to her waist. Her skin was remarkably pale and her lips a bright red. I listened as she wove a tale of heartbreak and sorrow.
I was a heavy heart to carry
My beloved was weighed down
My arms around his neck
My fingers laced a crown
I was a heavy heart to carry
My feet dragged across the ground
And he took me to the river
Where he slowly let me drown
The young woman's eyes held so much hurt and pain and I couldn't help but feel a connection. I could relate. Suddenly she shut herself off from the room, her green eyes became hidden behind delicate violet lids and her soft voice enveloped me until I could barely breathe.
I'm so Heavy, heavy
Heavy in your Arms
I'm so heavy, heavy
Heavy in your Arms
This will be my last confession
'I loved you' never felt like any blessing
Whispering like it's a secret
Only to condemn the one who hears it
With a heavy heart
She was exotic looking with her eyes closed head tilted back slightly, the tracks of her tears illuminated by the lights overhead and her thick red hair aglow against the tight black dress which exposed her chest.
I lifted my eyes from her heaving breasts and her dark green eyes met mine and I felt a jolt through my body. I ignored the warning voice in my head and blocked out thoughts of Bella who, let's face it, was the root of my problems right now. Tonight, I needed release and I could tell by the way the Red head singer was walking towards me and the sexy pout she was rocking, that she was definitely happy to assist.
When I woke the next morning, I was stark naked and lying beside a red haired woman who I vaguely remembered from the night before, I think her name was Veronica? Feeling fucking awful, I gently removed the woman's arm from across my chest and sort of shimmied my way from out beneath the covers. Once free, I searched her room for my clothes and found my jeans amidst the pile of clothes on the floor. After buttoning up, I searched for my shirt with no luck so just ended up putting on my leather jacket which I found dangling on the door handle. Making sure I was as quiet as possible I made my way down the creaky wooden staircase and walked through a dimly lit hall way to the front door. Veronica or was it Vicky? Whatever her name was, she was well off, I could tell from the set up in her apartment and her location on the strip. Even though parts of my memory from last night were pretty sketchy, there was no denying what happened up there, all the signs pointed to something that was pretty damn explicit.
I put on my shoes and as I exited her building, the reality of my actions hit me like a train and as I gradually remembered the events from the previous night I felt so bloody guilty for sleeping with the broad. Not only because I'm a selfish prick but because of Bella. I knew when Vicky approached me last night that she was looking for an out too, she needed to forget about whatever shit had happened in her life and being the selfish bastard that I am, I took what I wanted of her because at that moment I just wanted to forget. Forget about Bella, about Alice. I just wanted to feel good again. But that didn't happen, I mean yeah it felt good but the whole time I was with Veronica I was thinking about Bella. It was Bella's lips on mine, her body against mine, her voice calling my name.
Before Bella, it was custom for me to just tap and gap it with women, no strings/no dramas but since meeting her I developed a bloody conscience. It was a mistake sleeping with Veronica and the guilt and regret that flooded my entire body was evident as I stalked down the esplanade. I used yet another girl to try and cure myself of Bella but it was no use. Like a drug addict, I can't help myself – she is my fix, my own brand of heroin.
Once I reached my 'place' I sat in the shade above the dunes waiting for the sun to rise and as the morning rays hit the golden sand I had to shield my eyes from the glare. Countless times, I sat here at dawn waiting for a new day to begin and preparing myself for the trials and tribulations of the day ahead.
As the day got progressively warmer, I decided to head back to the strip. Alec had let me crash at his pad when Alice kicked me out and I was in dire need of a shower to cleanse myself of the night before. When I got closer to Alec's place, I noticed a commotion further up the street outside phone booth no.8. An ambulance was parked on the curb and there was a crowd gathered nearby, I squinted to see what was going on and needed to only see the bumper and bonnet of a ford explorer all bent out of shape and covered in blood to discern that someone had got hit by a car.
I waited until the paramedics had lifted the stretcher with the injured person into the ambulance and the sirens blared as it sped off before walking past the cafe beside Alec's apartment to get to the stairs. As I pulled out the key to unlock the door, I couldn't stop the wave of sadness that washed over me. I was sad for Alice and how much I hurt her. I was sad for me because I pushed away the potential love of my life but right now, I was mostly sad for the poor family who probably just lost a loved one today.
All I could think about in the moments before my body connected with the bonnet of the Ford Explorer were all the times I would bitch about the stupid characters in those movies who just stood there when a rogue bomb was about to detonate or a random vehicle was going to crash into them. I never understood why they stood there waiting for death to claim them, until now. I always told myself that I wouldn't be one of those people but it's like the decision was made up for me, I had no choice. And by some cruel twist of fate I found myself paralysed from the neck down due to the fear that gripped my body. A sane person would've squeezed their eyes tight to block out the vision of their body breaking but not me, oh no I had to be a super freak and watch until the impact of the car hitting me made my eyes slam shut.
I knew I would hurt but nothing prepared me for the excruciating pain that attacked every cell in my body when I woke up. My head felt like a big block of lead had took up residence in it and I found it hard to concentrate with all the white surrounding me. White curtains, white vinyl floors, white bed sheets, white everything. I had nothing against the colour but the glare was horrendous on my eyes.
My mouth was dry and all I could see through the slits my eyes had become was a blurry person sitting beside me. Heck, I couldn't feel my legs and even though that thought alone should have disturbed me, what really got me was the annoying ringing in my ears and the rapid thud of my heartbeat. I tried moving my hand but the thick blue cast was heavy and the sharp pain that stabbed at my right forearm and shoulder was fucking ridiculous. Where the hell was the fucking morphine at when you need it? I thought to myself.
I tried to speak but only managed to croak something that didn't even sound remotely like English.
"Isabella? Don't try and talk you've sustained some serious injuries. Do you want some water?"
I squinted to see who was talking to me as I didn't recognise the deep Italian sounding accent. I had to admit it even though I could see how attractive he was I was mainly shocked to see a strange man hovering over me with a worried expression on his face. A quick scan of him revealed a dark tanned mint body, mesmerizing hazel eyes and thick jet black shoulder length hair.
He must've noticed my surprise and backed away with a low chuckle. I thought he had left the room but after a few seconds I recognised the sound of water being transferred into a cup. He came back to the bedside and put a plastic straw to my lips.
"The doctor said to take it slow, so no big gulps. We don't want you to choke now do we?" He looked at me with a gentle smile and at once I was at ease.
His pleasant demeanor and charm made him easy to like. He waited while I tried to slurp up some water and the embarrassing thing about the whole ordeal was that I was physically incapable of sucking water up the damn straw. I frowned at my first failed attempt and tried again but without any luck. Finally, the guy just grabbed the cup and proceeded to pour the water into my mouth in short bursts, my throat was on fire at first but eventually the burn faded away until all that was left was the refreshing feeling of thirst being quenched. He spoke about himself and some other random things I think to take my mind off my current situation and while I appreciated the thought, I just didn't understand what was going on. Firstly, I wanted to know where I was, secondly how the hell I got here and finally who the fuck he was and why the hell Rose wasn't here with me.
Tears pricked at my eyes and my face stung when they flowed through the wall of my lower eyelashes down my bruised cheeks. I winced at the pain and thought to myself that it could be worse. I could've died.
My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the familiar clicking of heels approaching the room and when the door opened and Rose was standing there, it was like my whole body lost its tension, I was so relieved.
"Hey Marcus, I brought you some coffee they didn't have a good selection of food in the canteen so I just grabbed us some burgers from Macdonald's. How is she?" Rose asked. She hadn't looked at me at all since she walked in the room.
Oh no, bad sign. I bet we look terrible. Inner Bella wailed miserably.
I tuned her out and tried to get Rose's attention as she took a seat on the only other vacant chair in the room. Without a voice, the task was pretty damn hard.
When I actually looked at her closely, I knew something was wrong and I just hoped that nothing bad had happened to Emmett or Alice. Rose, who never left the house dressed less than immaculate, looked terrible. She had dark circles under her bloodshot eyes and she was extremely pale even the clothes she was wearing screamed commoner and not super model chic, like usual.
"Actually, she's awake but I don't think she can talk just yet." The boy named Marcus said quietly, the hint of a smile at his lips.
"Yeah, the doctor said something about her throat being raw and tender once they took the catheter out." Rose said sadly, picking the onions off of her burger out of habit. It wasn't like Rose to be so out of it. And, it was weird to see she didn't understand what Marcus was saying or register the importance of it.
I saw Marcus raise his eyebrow at me then he turned to look at Rose expectantly.
"Rose, is everything ok. Did you just hear what I said?"Marcus asked gently.
"No everything's not OK Marcus" Rose snapped then just as suddenly she was apologetic. "I'm sorry, I'm just tired and I haven't been able to sleep since Bella...since... the accident. It's harder when Em's not here with me." she said in a wobbly voice.
I knew the exact moment the light bulb went off in Rose's head because in that same instant she was screaming and crying like a mad woman. I couldn't control the tears from streaming down my face either because seeing my best friend upset had a domino effect on me.
"Bella? Oh god I was so scared for you. I'm so happy you're back" She wept. I didn't know exactly what she was talking about because I mean where did I go? I just assumed the worst because why else would I be in the hospital?
"Your mum, dad and Phil are here but they are with my parents. I told them to go home and get some rest because they have been by your side since they arrived. It's been a crazy couple of weeks Belly. They" she said with a sneer before continuing."Sorry, they aka 'the doctor's' didn't think you were going to make it. They said you'd probably never wake up from your coma but I knew you would come back." She said smiling happily through her tears.
"Oh!" Rose jumped as if she had just remembered something. "You're probably wondering who this fine young gentleman is?" she said, waving her hand at Marcus.
I tried to emit a questioning kind of look in my eyes and Marcus piped up to suggest trying the blinking system. One blink means yes, two means no.
"Hey that's a great idea Marcus." Rose said excitedly and turned towards me. "Belly, do you remember anything before the accident?"
I remembered walking with Alice and talking to her about Jasper, then I could see myself waiting at a phone booth for some red haired woman to finish on the phone but from there thing's were blurry.
I blinked once.
"How about after the accident?" Rose continued questioning.
I blinked twice.
"Crud. Okay, well basically Marcus here ran you over." Rose explained in a rush and my eyes widened as I turned to Marcus. He looked so sad that even though he almost killed me I felt like giving him a hug.
"But, before you hate him or anything, you should hear the whole story ok?" Rose said earnestly.
I blinked once.
"Well then. Marcus said that you pretty much stepped out in front of his car while he was driving. He put on the brakes as soon as he saw you but you were too close and he couldn't stop and yeah... so here you are." Rose trailed off, not looking at either Marcus or me.
I guess it made sense, I mean the Australian road rules are different to American and I'm pretty sure they drive on the opposite side of the road here...yeah, I could picture myself checking for cars on the wrong side of the road.
"I feel so terrible Isabella. I tried to stop but it was so sudden..." I saw Marcus' eyes glaze over and by the sound of his gravelly voice it seemed as if he was going to cry.
"He's been here every day though. Just to see you Belly, to make sure you're okay. Even your dad couldn't get rid of him and you've been out for almost two weeks." Rose explained softly, a look of adoration passing through her eyes when she glanced at Marcus.
Two weeks? Crap, my condition must be a lot worse than I anticipated because I thought I only had a broken arm and shoulder based on the pain I felt earlier. I wonder if Jasper has come by...
Anyway, I focussed my attention back on Marcus and waited for him to look me in the eyes and when he did I put as much emotion in my gaze as I could to let him know that I didn't blame him and that I was grateful that he cared enough to stick by me while I was incapacitated.
He seemed to understand what I was saying and finally a small smile made its way onto his face. He placed his hand over mine and instead of getting the creepy feeling I got when Edward kissed my hand, it felt nice.
I tried to let the smile that I couldn't do with my mouth reach my eyes.
"We're going to be great friends, you and I." He whispered and as I looked into his hazel eyes I could feel myself beginning to tire, I was starting to lose my hold over the exhaustion and just before I visited my land of dreams, I remember hearing Rose telling me they'd be back tomorrow and it made my heart sing.
Thank you for reading. Feel free to drop me a line or hit the Review box. All feedback is appreciated. Also the song sung by Victoria in Jasper's POV is 'Heavy in your Arms' by Florence and the Machine. It's a beautiful song, check it out! :)