a/n: Hope you guys like it and thank you all for the reviews I truly appreciate them please R&R some more.
"Heard you and Leah talked."
I turned and faced Uncle Harry who was sitting at the kitchen table. He had a plate of half eaten food in front of him and a beer can in his hand. He motioned for me to sit in the chair across from him. I sat down slowly. Not really sure where he was going with this. Not really sure I wanted to know.
"I'm glad you two talked," he said after a second.
"It was nice."
I didn't know what to say. I was sure he had a point. That he was about to give me some more useless advice that everyone who knew the situation has been giving me. I held in the huff that was so desperate to come out. I caught my eye roll before it happened.
"Emily in life we're given challenges," he started making a huge sweeping motion with his arms.
He paused to catch his breathe. I moved to get him some water but he motioned for me to stay seated. His large brown eyes twinkled as he watched the concerned on my face. He cleared his throat.
"Getting old that's all," he said brushing off my word less concern, "Now like I was saying life gives us many challenges. It tests you in ways that wouldn't normally make sense to you. It makes you consider things you wouldn't normally consider."
He paused to cough his breathing carried a slight wheeze. This time I ignored his motioning for me to sit and grabbed him a cup of water. I watched as he drank it down draining the glass.
"You have to do things for yourself," he said his voice hoarse from coughing, "You only get on life Emily… live it."
He dismissed me with a wave of his hand. Uncle Harry just told me in so many words to give Sam a chance. Disregarding Leah's broken heart. Put myself before everyone and give Sam a chance.
But he didn't need to tell me this. I was already on that path myself. Because the past few days I've been brutally honest with myself.
The problem with honesty is that it has a way of coming back to haunt you. You want to tell the other person what you would want to hear. You want to keep everything out in the open. But if the shoe was on the other foot how much would you really want to know. Leah left my room yesterday and hasn't come out of her room since. She had asked a question she wasn't ready to hear the answer to. And I had given her the answer she was dreading.
But the truth of the matter was I didn't know if I could keep fighting Sam. I wanted to. That is a lie. I know I should but I keep finding myself going back to this kiss and his simple touches. I was running around in an endless circle and it all led back to him.
Which brings me here. Walking on a deserted muddy road toward his house. I wanted to talk to him like an adult. Put everything out on the table. I wanted us to come to some sort of sense out of everything that is going on. I really just wanted to see him.
Already his scent is imbedded into my senses. I close my eyes and see his face. Unknown to me I was becoming more and more comfortable with the idea of Sam and I. He was winning without much of a fight and for some reason it was really irritating me. I wanted him to do more than a few kisses to win me over. I wanted to know that this wasn't some sort of a whim. What if I gave him a chance and he woke up on morning and realized he wanted Leah more. Was I willing to put myself out there like that? Did I have it in me to ruin my relationship with my cousin for a man I couldn't guarantee?
I was so engrossed in my thoughts I didn't hear a truck pull up next to me. I don't know how I missed it considering all the racket it was making. I looked over to the driver not trying to hide my annoyance at all. And who do I see staring at me with a shit eating grin spread across his face. Sam Uley.
"Need a lift?" he asked his deep baritone voice filling the silence.
"You don't even know where I'm going," I snapped annoyed he showed up before I could truly prepare myself for him.
"This road only leads to one place Emily."
I rolled my eyes and got into the car. There was no point arguing. Might as well get a ride. I leaned as far from his as possible. My body hugged the door frame. I let my black hair slide into the front of my face. Studying him from the corner of my eyes through the dark strands. His eyes stayed on the road. There was a strange tick in his jaw as if he was fighting to say something but couldn't get the words. I know the feeling. I had so much to say to him. I wanted to rant and rave. I wanted to kiss him. Hell I have no idea what I wanted I just wanted.
When we got to his house I got out his truck as fast as I could. I needed space between us. He stood by the door staring at me. I shifted my weight from foot to foot with unease. He sighed and opened his door he motioned with a jerk of his head that I should follow him. Shuffling my feet I entered his house. His domain. And suddenly I felt perhaps I should be doing this at a more neutral place. I followed him into the kitchen and watched as he put a pot of water to boil. He worked in silence. Neither of us saying a word. It was like we were both scared to break the small amount of peace we somehow achieved.
He placed a cup of hot water and tea bag in front of me. I was grateful for something to do with my hands. I avoided his eyes when he sat down across from me. I ignored his wary sigh. I just made my tea and sat there. The only sound was my from my spoon knocking against the cup as I mixed in the sugar.
"Milk or cream?" he asked his rough voice echoing throughout the room.
"What?" I asked still slightly shocked by the sudden intrusion of sound.
"Do you want milk or cream?" he asked again indicating to my tea.
"Oh." Right the tea. "Milk please."
The silence enveloped us as he moved to get my milk again but it wasn't the same. Now I knew I could be broken and for some reason that sadden me. He handed me a small cup with milk before resuming his seat across from me.
"Emily," He said after a few minutes of staring at his hands. He cleared his throat looking away from me. I hear his question even without him saying it. What are you doing here? Was I here to tell him I didn't want him again? Was I here to push him away some more?
"This are getting out of hand," I whispered still stirring the tea I had no intention of drinking.
He snorted but still didn't say anything as if he was waiting to see what I had to say.
"I don't know what I want anymore."
"You never knew what you wanted," he snapped before catching himself. He was staring at me as if he expected me to bolt out of the door any second now.
"You're right," I replied sitting back in my chair, "I don't… but I do know I can't keep pushing you away."
His head snapped up and his dark eyes were on my face. I could tell he was holding his breathe.
"I don't have the strength to anymore," I whispered.
"What are you saying?" he voice was tight I could feel the emotions rolling off of him.
"I'm saying I'm giving you a chance."
He had me out of my chair into his arms before I even realized he moved. I melted against him letting myself give into the feeling I had been fight for so long. I needed him desperately that didn't even feel remotely normal.
It was like he was the gravity holding me to earth and there is only so much I could fight it. He kissed my forehead and held me close to him. I breathed in his scent. I let Sam wash over me. And I was liking it more and more. But I couldn't fight this feeling of despair. This was never something I would have chosen. But life has a way of taking a different course then you ever expect it to take.
"Don't think so hard," he chuckled his voice vibrating in my ears, "You'll get wrinkles."
For the first time in what felt like weeks I laughed. He face split with a huge smile his large black eyes shining with happiness. And everything in the world felt okay.
"Let's go to dinner or something," he said cautiously.
I looked down at my outfit with consist of muddy shoes raggy jeans and a tee shirt that was much to big barely hidden under a hoodie that has seen better days, "Or something…"
"You're beautiful," Sam said lifting my chin so he could look into my eyes.
I snorted and pulled away. I didn't need lies.
"Emily…" he started but I wasn't ready for this yet. I just wanted to go out to eat or something. I didn't want deep soul searching conversations. I didn't want to bare all my insecurities before I even got to know him.
He nodded and looked away. I hope I was doing the right thing. I playfully punched him in the arm to break the tension. At least it would of if he hadn't been made of brick. I let out a cry of pain shaking my hand hope to relieve the pain.
"That wasn't very smart," he said with a smirk on his face.
I made a move to kick him but judging on how my hand is still throbbing I decided against it. He arched an eyebrow at me. As if daring me to try it. Well I couldn't beat him but I'm sure I'll figure out a way to get to him. I smiled sweetly him drawing circles on his arm with my finger. He took in a deep breathe glancing down at his arm.
"Let's go to the diner," he said moving away from me quickly.
I know it's not much of a start but as I followed him out the house into his car I couldn't help but think that maybe it would work. I knew it wouldn't be easy. But for the first time I was doing something for me. And it had a satisfying taste in my heart.