Okay then, if you think I'm evil with cliffhangers, wait till I do this

OMAKE NO JUTSU! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ...no intro period this chapter...skip down towards OMAKE

Naruto Uzumaki;

Age; 13

Height; 4. 9 FT

Weight 88 Pounds

Naruto has completed 30 official missions; 26 D Rank, 3 B Rank, 1 A rank

Naruto's favorite food is Ramen

Naruto wishes to fight Taisune and Sasuke Uchiha

Jutsu;

Shadow Clone

Sexy

Substitute

Henge

Water Release; Great Waterfall

Storm Release; Great Twister

Storm Release; Fire Storm

Lightning Release; Thunder Ball

Water Release; Water Ball

Summoning Jutsu; Ostrich, Toads

1000 years of death

Lightning Release; 1000 Years of Death

Aura Release; Aura sphere

Formation; Fu-ku-To (with Fu and Haku)

Storm Release; Water Spout

Lightning Release; Lightning Surge

Water Release; Water Fang Bullet

Scorch Release; Heat Wave

Fire Release; Fire Ball

Lightning Release; Lightning Dome

Fire Release; 1000 years of death

Fire Release; Wyvern FLame Jutsu

Lightning Release; Shock Palm

Ice Release; Ice Barrier

Ice Release; Ice Manicales

Scorch Release; Dehydration Chop Strike

Wind Release; Wind Fleets

Wind Release; Wind Fleets Rise

Wind Release; Great Breakthrough

Lava Release; Vesuvius

Storm Release; Phantom Surge

Rasengan

Aura Release; Aura bubble

Scorch Release: Humidity Fore

Earth Release; Dust ball

Wind Release; Wind ball

Water Release; Water Wyvern Jutsu

Lava Release; Tunneling Eruption Fault

Ice Release; Demonic Ice mirrors

Ice Release; Endless Rasengan

Teleport; Teleport Rush

Haku Momoichi;

Age; 15

Height; 5.1 FT

Weight; 90 Pounds

Cup size; B

Haku has completed 23 official missions; 19 D Rank, 3 B Rank, 1 A rank

Haku's favorite food is peaches

Haku wishes to fight anyone who Naruto's fighting

Jutsu;

Ice Release; Demonic Ice Mirror

Ice Release; Ice Spike

Substitute

Henge

Water Release; Explosion

Water Clone

Ice Release; Protective Dome

Ice Release; Ice Manicles

Ice Release; Senbon Shower

Wind Release; Frosty Wind

Formation; Fu-ku-To (With Naruto and Fu)

Ice Release; Ball Implosion

Summoning Jutsu; Rabbit, Penguin

Silencing Jutsu

Water Release; Water Ball

Wind Release; Great Breakthrough

Hinata Hyuga

Age; 13

Height; 4.8 FT

Weight; 83 Pounds

Cup size; D

Hinat has completed 14 official missions; 13 D Rank, 1 C Rank

Hinata's favorite food is Cinnamon Buns

Hinata wishes to fight her father and any girl who's trying to get Naruto

Jutsu;

Henge

Clone

Substitution

Gentle Fist

Aurora Release; Boreal Lightshow

Wind Release; Eight Trigrams Empty Palm

Lightning Release; Gentle Fist

Aurora Release; Aurora Clone Jutsu

Eight Trigrams; Sixty Four palms Guard

Fu Takiboshi

Height; 5. 3 FT

Age; 14

Weight; 87 Pounds

Cup Size; C

Fu has completed 17 official missions; 15 D rank 2 B Rank

Fu's favorite food is Honey

Fu wishes to fight the people from her village aside for Shibuki

Jutsu;

Henge

Water Release; Water tornado

Tailed Beast Chakra arms

Shadow Shurikan Jutsu

Formation; Fu-ku-To (with Naruto and Haku)

Summoning Jutsu; Beetle

Earth Release; Earth style wall

Earth Release; Earth Flow Rampart

Water Release; Water Wyvern Bullet

Earth Release; Rising stone spears

Secret Takigakure Water Release; Water Sword

Shadow Clone Jutsu

Shadow Kunai Jutsu

Rasengan

Jinchuriki Style; Primary Lotus

Sasuke Uchiha

Height; 5.4 FT

Age; 13

Weight; 95 pounds

Sasuke has completed 13 official missions; 12 D Rank, 1 B Rank

Sasuke's favorite food is anything with Tomatoes

Sasuke wishes to fight Itachi and Naruto

Jutsu;

Henge

Clone

Substitution

Fire Release; Fire Snakes

Fire Release; Great Fireball Technique

Fire Release; Pheonix Sage Fire Technique

Fire Release; Dragon Flame

Water Release; Syrup Capture Field

Chidori

Fang Passing Fang

Shadow Possesion Jutsu

Genjutsu; Tree Binding Death

Earth Release; Rapid Rock scaling technique

Earth Release; Rock Shurikan

Lightning Release; Surge of Lightning

Mangekyo Sharingan

Leaf Hurricane

Water Release; Water Tornado

Fire Release; Pheonix Sage Inferno Technique

Raikiri

Chakra stealing technique

Sakura Haruno

Height; 5.1 FT

Age; 13

Weight; 75 pounds

Cup size; N/A

Sakura has completed 13 official missions; 12 D Rank, 1 B Rank

Sakura's favorite food is anything Sasuke eats

Sakura wishes to fight Fu, Haku, Ino and Hinata

Jutsu;

Clone Jutsu

Henge

Substituton

Screech Release; Deathening sound wave

Tayuya Mafue

Age; 14

Height; 4 foot 9

Weight; 81 Pounds

Cup Size; A

Tayuya has completed 41 official missions; 20 D rank 11 C Rank, 9 B Rank, 1 A Rank

Tayuya's favorite food are jalupeno peppers

Tayuya wishes to fight Orochimaru and the Sound Four

Jutsu;

Henge

Summoning Jutsu; Doki

Demon Flute Controlling Technique

Body Flicker Technique

Isaribi Tsukumi

Age; 13

Height; 4 foot 7

Weight; 79 Pounds

Cup Size; A

Isarbi isn't a Ninja, so she hasn't done any missions

Isaribi's favorite food is Crab

Isaribi isn't a ninja, so she doesn't want to fight anyone really

Samui Ni

Age; 15

Height; 5 foot 3

Weight; 92 pounds

Cup Size; D

Samui has completed 30 official missions; 14 D rank, 15 C rank, 1 B rank

Samui's favorite food is Ice Cream and Cold Pizza

Samui wishes to fight her Sensei, and whoever started the "Song of Thunder"

Jutsu;

Henge

Subsitution

Lightning Release; Surge of Lightning

Lightning Release; Lightning Dome

Nintaijutsu Lightning Release; Armor

Lariat

Fire Release; Fire Blade

Lightning Fire Release; Ni Energy blade

Fire Release; FIre Paws Technique

Kurotsuchi of Both Scales

Height; 5 foot 2

Weight; 91

Age; 14

Cup Size; B

Kurotsuchi has completed 25 official missions; 10 D rank, 15 C rank

Kurotsuchi's favorite foods is Chili

Kurotsuchi wishes to fight enemies of Iwa (Cough, yellow flash)

Jutsu;

Henge

Substitute

Rapid Rock Scaling Technique

Lava Release; Lava Rock

Fire Release; Dragon Flame Jutsu

Earth Release; Mud clone

Lava release; Lava Geyser

Earth Release; Rock Fist

Body Flicker Technique

Fire Release; Intelligent hard work

Lava Release; Lava Geyser Field

Water Release; Water Encampment wall

Lava Release; Ring of Fire

Lava Release; Lava impalment

Tenten

Height; 5 foot 1

Weight; 85

Age; 14

Cup Size; B

Tenten has completed 31 official missions; 29 D rank, 11 C rank

Tenten's favorite food is Chinese and Pork Buns

Tenten wishes to fight other strong Kunoichi

Jutsu;

Clone

Henge

Substitution

Dynamic Entry

Earth Release; Earth Blade

Temari

Height; 5 foot 4

Weight; 93

Age; 15

Cup Size; C

Temari has completed 29 official missions; 20 D rank, 8 C rank 1 B rank

Temari's favorite foods are Chesnuts

Temari wishes to fight smart opponents, and her Father

Jutsu;

Wind Scythe Jutsu

Clone

Henge

Substitution

Gaara

Age; 13

Height; 4. 7 FT

Weight 84 Pounds

Gaara has completed 29 official missions; 20 D rank, 8 C rank 1 B rank

Gaara's favorite food is Ramen (formerly salted tongue)

Gaara wishes to fight Sasuke, and his father

Jutsu;

Substitution

Sand Coffin

Sand shield

Sand Barbarians

Sand Shurikan

Shadow Clone Jutsu

Wind Release; Tempest Wall

Wind Release; Dragon Gust Jutsu

Wind Release; Drilling Air Bullet

Lariat

Omake...Fight Bloopers and other assorted mishaps! part 1

Chapter 1 (Blooper 1)

"Foolish, Wind Release; Hurricane Gust!" the ninja inhaled deeply, before letting out a gust of high powered wind that blew away about all of the shadow clones, before he heard a crunch in the leaves. Turning, he saw to his shock two shadow clones coming at him from behind!

"Little brat must of used those clones as a distraction, impressive"

"GET OUT OF MY WAY, DOBE, FIRE RELEASE; GREAT FIREBALL TECHNIQUE!" out of nowhere, a huge fireball flew and consumed the shadow clones, as one farted...

BAMM

Taisune was blasted by this now Fire Release; Great Fartball Technique, and sent flying into a tree

"DOBE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY JUTSU!" he shrugged.

"Um, improved it?" Taisune glared at them..."Fluffy-chan will never let me live that one down" he sighed

Blooper 2

"Nice strategy, Genin. I'll give you credit, your the only one here not out cold who should even be a ninja, but I'm afraid that things end here and now" he rapidly did Snake, Tiger, Ox, Dragon, Rat and Dog, before his hand glowed gold.

"Hiden Sealing Jutsu Jutsu; Pawā fuyo shīru; ketsueki no seigen no kopī!"

he harshly slammed his hand into Naruto's stomach, causing the boy's eyes to grow wide...as he started growing large, fluffy ears and a fox tail. Taisune's eyes went wide...

"Hey, that wasn't supposed to happen...FLUFFY MESSED UP MY SEAL!" the now Hanyou Naruto glared at him.

"TAILED BEAST BALL!" Taisune was obliterated...

After this, the now Demonic Naruto commenced to destroy Gato and the Sa duo...before gathering an army of pretty girl foxes to massacre the citizens of Konoha who didn't serve Ramen to him, before Fluffy defeated him in pitch combat, made him her sex slave, and commenced to form the Great Fire Empire as eternal empress of ultimate beauty

Chapter 3

"What in Kami?" the seal briefly began to glow orange, or at least in a portion of it, where a kanji glowed brightly, the Kanji for Storm.

Back to reality

A orange-red glow began forming around Naruto, as his wound began to heal. The air began rippling with power, shaking the bridge slightly. Naruto then began forming Tiger, Dog, Serpent and Dragon.

"STORM RELEASE: GREAT STORM!" a humongous storm formed around Naruto, ripping apart the bridge brick by brick...and sending Sasuke into the sea. Tazuna gasped, before collapsing with a heart attack, dying. Thus, the mission failed, and Gato sent a large sum to Naruto for doing his work for him

Chapter 6

"Its simple really, I know how to cancel the Sharingan's effect on me. Its really quite simple..."

"HOW DARE YOU, THE SHARIGAN IS THE ULTIMATE KEKKEI GENKAI..."

"Actually, the Rinnegan is quite superior, not that I have it..." Sasuke was furious now.

"CHIDORI! YOUR PAY FOR THAT INSULT!" the electric attack appeared around Sasuke's arm, shocking Kakashi in horror as the gennin flew at Taisune with that technique.

"NOTHING CAN BEAT ME NOW, DIE!"

"Hmmm really...SHADOW STRIKING RAMEN!" the ramen flew from his robe sleeves, grabbing Sasuke and bandaging him in a mummy wrap of noodles...

"NINJA ART; MASS DEVOUR!" Puffy the Pomeranian appeared out of nowhere, and ate Sasuke with an Akamichi like speed, before belching contently.

"EVIL DOG, WHAT SORT OF DOG EATS PEO...!...wait that was Sasuke, okay just that once" Puffy grinned evily...

"HOW DARE YOU EAT SASUKE-KUN!" Sakura was yelling now at the poor dog, who snarled and commenced to attack, and kill the pink headed girl.

After this, the Pomeranian marched on the Fire Daiymo's house, ate him, and began the first Canine Daiymo of the Land of Fire, commencing the Fourth Shinobi world war by successfully taking over Kusa, Taki, Oto, Yuga and Ame, defeating Pain one on one with the aid of Tora. He then retired and commenced the mass killing of all civilians in Konoha, as well as a genocide against cats and dog catchers

Chapter 9( Blooper 1)

"Get out of here, Mitrashi. This is justice for our Uchiha-sama being denied Scrolls that should be his!" Koharu yelled. Sakura's mom decided to add

"This is a civilian matter as well, so be gone Snake Whore!" That ticked her off.

"Snake...whore...SUMMONING JUTSU!" out of a large plume of smoke, a pale figure, bald with no hair and snake like, red eyes rose up. He glared at the mob...

"AVADA KEDARVA!" a green burst of unknown energy struck and killed Sasuke. Similar attacks commenced to the civilian council...and anyone nearby as dark bursts of smoke started to crash around him, revealing dozens of dark robes creepy guys...

In 2 weeks, the gathered Death Eater forces then commenced to destroy Konoha, before Voldemort came to fight Orochimaru. The great battle raged across the land of sound, but in the end Voldemort prevailed, and taking the Sword of Kusanagi, returned to his world, killed Harry Potter, and then ruled the world as the first immortal king of magic

Chapter 9 (Blooper 2)

Um, don't think so, LIGHTNING RELEASE: 1000 YEARS OF DEATH!" Sasuke suddenly felt violated as Naruto performed Kakashi's joke Jutsu, but with a slight electric charge. With a yelp that could scare a Dragon, Sasuke was catupulted into the air and fell to the ground, twitching with electric chakra. Teuchi was laughing, as the poor boy was rubbing his ass and forcing himself up, before blinking at Naruto with hearts in his eyes.

"Um...Teme, why are you staring at me like that..."

"So, you like to play it that way, eh. Well, let me show you how we play on my side of the fence..." Naruto was now uncomfortable

"ICE RELEASE; BALL IMPLOSION!" Sasuke yelped before collapsing to the ground, as Haku grabbed Naruto possessively.

"Back off, he's mine!" he was shivering

"Urg...I am going to have nightmares about that"

Chapter 11 (Blooper 1)

"Your good, Taisune Uzumaki. Do you wish..."

"Um, no I'm not joining your little cult. I have, issues, serious issues, with the whole murduring Jinchurki concept, and I don't trust, two certain members of your group especialy." Deva glared.

"But...we get free donuts on tuesdays"

"DUHH...I don't like donuts..."

"You can rule a country once this is all over. How about it, Taisune, Daiymo of the Land of Fire?"

"Hey, that's a reason not to join, I don't want a fat wife with an evil cat"

"Your either with us, or you are with those who start war" Taisune sped right next to Deva now.

"Sorry, but if there was no war...then I Couldn't do this...SPARTA KICK!" Deva was sparta kicked into a house

Chapter 11 (Blooper 2)

"Don't worry, your be able to see me again one day...and I'm sure Naruto-Kun will make you happy" Naruto blushed as Haku fumed. Fu had a evil grin, before grabbing Naruto's arm.

"Of course he will, after all, Naruto-Kun's mine" Naruto seemed surprised, and Haku was fuming.

"Kun?" Haku grabbed his other arm.

"NO way, Naruto-Kun's mine!"

"MINE!"

"MINE!"

"MINE!" Shibuki laughed at Naruto's curse/ slash good fortune. Depending on how you looked at it...

"Naruto-kun, but I must serve you, you own my life" Haku began to rub up against Naruto, provoctavely as Shibuki walked away, slowly.

"You saved me Naruto-kun...you should get a demonstration of what you won" Fu said seductively, before moving to remove her top...as a third pair of arms grabbed him...

'What?'

"NO, NARUTO-KUN IS MINE, BACK OFF YOU CUNTS!" Hinata was now pressed to his back...as a three way catfight emerged between teamate, fellow container and stalker...

At the end of it, they decided to share Naruto-kun, got a beach house in Moon, and didn't come out for several days while the neighbours began complaining of noise issues...

Chapter 15

"I FUCKING TOLD YOU NOT TO..." Tayuya was cut off as from out of nowhere, streams of water rose up from the nearby ocean and restrained the furious red head, as a huge mass rose from the water. The evil doctor grinned.

"WHAT IN HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU BASTARD!" Tayuya yelled, before she started writhering in pain. He laughed as Isarabi cringed.

"This, my dear, is my Umibozu, my ultimate creation. My indestructible monster. And, now its absorbing information on that little curse mark of yours. Be free to give your last words now, I still haven't worked out the sound defect in him" Tayuya growled.

"That baka you work under thought he could cut off funding for my work, eh! Well, now I'm going to take his work, and use it to destroy him. Then, with Umibozu and my future masterpieces, I shall take over the sea and rule as the First Marine Emporeor!" out of the water, a ripple began to form...

"BEHOLD, MY ULTIMATE DESTRUCTIVE WEAPON!" a red fish started flopping on top of the water

"Magikarp, karp, karp!"

"THAT IS FUCKING WEAK...!"

"SAYS YOU, NOW DESTROY HER!"

...

"Um...on second thought, whose in the mood for fishsticks?"

Chapter 16

"Oh fuck you" she kised him on the lips, causing angry noises to erupt from Fu, Haku and Isaribi...before she pulled off her shirt...

"HEY, I'm TOO YOUNG..." Naruto cried out

"Hey, old enough to drink and get boozed, old enough to fuck..." the other girls blinked.

"Wait...she's right..." the girls joined in a wild fuck fest...

The duo of new girls then decided to follow the group home, discreetly hiding away until the others returned for some 'fun'...which Hinata joined in once she figured it out via her Byukugan

Safe to say, once Orochimaru was defeated with Tayuya's aid, Naruto pretty much lived any man's perverted dream, as multiple energetic blonds appeared in Iruka's final class...literally his final class s the effort to keep them contained killed him

The now Godiame Hokage Naruto then ruled a village overfilling with hyperactive blonds, and the Ichiraku family quickly became billionaires