Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
A/N: First, I would just say thanks again for all of your kind words in regards to this story. There are some days where it seems like finishing this story is an impossible feat, because it is seriously the most complicated thing I've ever written (kudos if you notice Kurt throwing shade to their situation in this chapter, because that is all me), but when I think of all the wonderful people who are giving me their time to read and review, it just means the world to me and gives me all the more reason to keep going.
That brings me to this: There's a good chance you will be hating me by the end of this chapter. There are no warnings, but you might be questioning Dave's actions, for sure. Trust me when I say the trials our boys have in this story will be worth it for the tribulations, and things will definitely get worse before they get better (and then worse and better again).
A Change of Perspective
The One With the Slushie
As Finn stopped at the red light just one mile from the school, Dave was certain (and not to mention hopeful) that Rachel had dropped the subject in regards to Kurt's little boy toy. He wasn't very keen on talking to Hummel's Glee Club pals about the pretentious dick who had the nerve to act like he knew anything about him. Not alone? The hell he was. In no way was he about to pop in some show tunes and tap dance his way into loserdom. Fuck that shit.
And he wasn't gay.
But while Rachel seemed less likely to push the topic, Finn had other ideas.
"Hey, Kurt?" Dave could see Finn frowning thoughtfully at him in the rear view mirror. "What happened to that guy you have been talking to? The one you met while you were spying on the Warblers?" Dave gritted his teeth as he looked out the window.
"What?" Rachel demanded accusingly as she spun around once more, clutching the back of the seat enthusiastically. "Why didn't you say anything? What's his name? What does he look like? Is he gorgeous?"
"Um... Boyfriend. Right here. Behind the wheel," Finn said meekly as he accelerated through the green light. Rachel waved him off, not even sparing him a second glance.
"I didn't say anything because it doesn't matter," Dave said rolling his eyes. He looked past the foggy glass of the truck window and attempted to count the leafless trees as they blurred by; anything to prevent himself from blowing his top and launching himself into the front driver seat on top of Finn in order to make him regret saying anything.
"Doesn't matter?" Rachel gaped like a fish struggling for breath, her glossy lips opening and closing. "He's not straight is he? Is that what you mean?" Dave's eyes flickered momentarily towards Rachel once more to see her frown, her expression resembling that of a sad puppy dog, compensating for Dave's complete lack of interest.
"He's about as gay as the fourth of July and with an outfit to match and it doesn't matter because I'm not interested. All right?" Dave snapped quickly and Rachel recoiled slightly.
"But you've only been talking about him all this week. And I thought you said something about you guys going hanging out this weekend. You were so excited. Did he cancel or…?" Finn trailed off, as entirely confused as Dave was.
"I… I have a date with him. Like… A date?" Dave said, deadpan.
"Well, you said you were only going as friends, but… Wait? Why am I telling you this? I've never met the guy," Finn scoffed.
"I… I must have forgotten. Busy week, you know." Although Dave was still attempting to process the information that Finn just revealed to him, he knew one thing for certain.
He was going to kill Hummel.
Once Kurt hopped out of Dave's beaten down truck he smiled and breathed in the crisp morning air deep into his lungs. Today could be worse, he considered as he pulled the book bag securely over his one shoulder. Sure, he was still stuck in Karofsky's body with no clue yet as to how he was going to get his own body back, but it was almost the weekend. After tomorrow, he wouldn't have to deal with Karofsky for two whole days, and maybe in that time he would be able to relax and take his mind off their situation—at least long enough to figure a way out of this mess. As for today, he didn't have Glee practice or football, for that matter. By the look of it, he would be sailing smoothly through the day.
After Kurt locked the door and slammed it shut, he turned to make his way through the McKinley High School parking lot when he heard a voice call out to him.
"Yo, D! Hold up!" Kurt turned around, stopping at the tailgate of his truck to see Azimio Adams squeezing between Karofsky's Tacoma and the F-150 parked next to him. Upon closer inspection, however, Kurt flinched involuntarily at the sight of what he was holding in his hand.
"Dude, chillax," Azimio snickered. "This ain't for you." He took a long draw from the straw poking out of the Big Gulp he was gripping with one meaty hand. "Speakin' of which… Where's your ammunition, man? It's almost 8 o'clock." Kurt frowned.
"I don't know what you're…"
"Slushying us some loser freaks?" Azimio interrupted, filling in the awful gaps for him. Would that mean Kurt would have to slushy his friends while he was in Dave's body?
No. Absolutely not. He was not about to sink as low as to slushy any of his friends, and especially not this early in the morning. Kurt couldn't bear the idea of having to sit in sticky clothes all day, and he hoped his friends were as prepared and kept an extra set of clothes in their locker in the off-chance their faces met with the icy drink.
"What's goin' on with you this week, D?" Azimio glared at him suspiciously, as Kurt, himself, warily eyed the drink in Azimio's hand. Kurt wasn't even aware that the 7 Eleven sold slushies this early in the morning. "You're killing me." Azimio looked over Kurt's shoulder as he shook his head.
"Whatever, man,"Azimio said dismissively, somewhat let down that only one person would be the target of a slushy facial that morning. He ducked slightly behind Kurt as he tore the lid off with the straw still stuck in the middle of the plastic and dropped it inconspicuously on the asphalt between them before pushing past Dave. "There's Hudson, Berry, and the Fairy Queen. In no way am I going to let this perfectly good slushy go to waste."
Kurt was about to point out the complete lack of logic in Azimio's statement. Kurt didn't even like slushies and he still couldn't imagine buying one just for it to end up dripping down upon a person's shoes and on the floor. He gaped helplessly instead. He couldn't decide on whether he should pick up the litter left by the Neanderthal or else do something to try to stop Azimio as he headed ominously towards Finn, Rachel, and Karofsky—overtly looking like himself—as they headed towards the school, and as Kurt turned around to see Azimio lumbering in the direction of the three, he knew exactly who would be covered in blue dye no. 1.
Dave wasn't sure what he noticed first, the raucous laughter or the flash of electric blue followed by the feeling of a million needles poking his flesh. He opened his mouth in a gasp, but the air caught in his chest as he felt what had to be small shards of ice sliding underneath the sweater he was wearing.
He couldn't tell what was going on around him. The last thing he wanted to do was open his eyes. From behind him, however, he could hear Hudson yelling at Rachel to let him go, and in front of him he could hear the familiar, cackling laughter of his best friend followed by what sounded like a plastic cup falling to the ground.
"What the hell, Azimio?" Hudson cried out behind him. Of course he would be the one to get slushied instead of the other two. As soon as he was out of the car, he was adamant to get away from Finn and Rachel by walking ahead of them in the parking lot, and that was when, suddenly, Azimio slid right out in front of him from behind the mini-van.
Dave could taste the cold, sticky sweet raspberry flavored syrup in his mouth, and as he raised his hands to wipe away at the globules of ice from around his eyes, he could hear Azimio respond.
"Obviously we're gonna have to do this more often if you're gonna forget who's in charge around here. Next time my boy D is gonna to be my back up, so don't think you two are getting off easy this time." He gestured towards Finn and Rachel. "Come on, man." Dave blinked a few times, his eyes burning not nearly as much as they did before, but he noticed, now, that Azimio wasn't alone. He was standing there—Hummel—looking at him with a stony expression that not even he could place.
"What the hell are you still doing here, Karofsky?" Dave heard Finn practically growl, but he had already set off towards the school, the syrup on his hands already causing his fingers adhere uncomfortably with one another, unaware of the gaze from his true form as it intently followed him.
Kurt didn't know what prompted him to go to his locker as soon as he walked into the school; his actual locker, not the one he was pretending was his.
He made sure none of his friends were around as he discreetly spun the dial, entering his combination. Inside the locker were all of his items—books, pens, hairspray—as he left them. He did give Karofsky his combination the night before. There wouldn't be any reason for his belongings to be missing and he wasn't surprised when he found the neatly folded wife beater and black button up shirt still neatly folded on the top shelf. With a sigh and a serious question of his sanity, he reached for the articles of clothing before slamming the locker shut and replacing his combination lock before setting off for the boy's restroom around the corner.
When he opened the door to the bathroom, he heard the sound of water and saw his figure hunched over the sink. Although he knew it was Karofsky in his body, watching himself attempt to remove the concoction from his face (before it stained his porcelain skin blue enough that it would make him look like Violet after she chewed the three-course-dinner gum in Willy Wonka) was like reliving every slushy facial he had ever received, although the process of him cleaning up wasn't nearly as bad as seeing the surprise on his own face when Azimio threw the slushy at him. Kurt disregarded any feelings of sympathy for Dave as sympathy for himself. He would almost feel bad for Dave, but the fact that Karofsky never once gave slushying people a second thought only made him pity the other teen. He was, however, dismayed at one other fact.
"I didn't even get a chance to wear that sweater," Kurt spoke up, leaning against the tiled wall next to the automatic hand dryers. Dave didn't even look in his direction. In fact, he only shuffled over towards the paper towel dispensers, water dripping from his bangs and into his eyes as he pulled four sheets successively from the dispenser before wiping his face. "It's Gucci too. I spent good money on that," Kurt added with a sigh, and he knew it didn't matter to Dave at all.
"Come to gloat?" Dave grunted in a way that was foreign in Kurt's ears. Instead of answering, he held out the shirts.
"Here," he said, pursing his lips. He looked down and noticed a few splatters on his jeans that Dave was wearing. "I don't have any jeans here, so you'll just have to do your best to blot that out."
Dave looked at the shirts suspiciously as he ran the towels over his head, mussing his hair, before reaching out and taking the clothing from Kurt without a word. Kurt's hand dropped lamely to his side as he watched as Karofsky slipped into one of the empty stalls.
He knew that should have been the end of it. He should have left by then. Karofsky obviously wasn't going to thank him for his good deeds, and, in all honesty, he wasn't expecting him to. There was a part of him, though, that wanted to witness Karofsky go through what he was faced with at least one day a week; how much time and energy—physical and emotional—he spent on dealing with the ignorance and sheer maliciousness of other people, but maybe, if he wasn't going to receive a thank you, he could ask expect something else from him.
"Do you have anything you want to say to me?" Kurt asked into the thin air. He might as well be talking to himself, despite the fact that he knew Karofsky could hear him perfectly fine as he changed, throwing the soiled tops to hang over the stall door.
"Like what?" Kurt scoffed mutedly at Dave's response.
"Oh, I don't know. An apology?" Kurt could almost feel the thick vein in Karofsky's forehead about to burst. He never felt so angry in his life, not counting the time that he chased Karofsky into the locker room—that was only one of the many contributing factors that got them into this mess.
"Why the fuck sould I apologize?" Dave's voice was muffled, as if he was in the middle of putting on one of the clean shirts Kurt gave him.
"I thought it wouldn't be completely crazy for you to feel an ounce of regret in regards to how you've treated me now that you've received a taste of what it's like. How was your first slushy facial, David? Did it hurt like a bitch?" Kurt questioned in a sickeningly sweet voice.
"In case you didn't notice, Hummel, I've never slushied you."
"Well, your so-called friends have!" Kurt pointed out shrilly.
"They're big boys, they can take care of themselves."
"I can't believe you." Kurt felt sick to his stomach. He didn't think it was possible for someone to be so unremorseful. Suddenly, the door swung open and he lifted his head, and he only wished that looks could kill.
"Why are you still here?" Dave hissed as he stood in front of the stall wearing the clean set of shirts Kurt gave him. Kurt hated the fact that he wore his clothes, the fact that his $300 sweater was completely ruined and the fact that Karofsky could care less. Kurt ground his teeth together impatiently.
"Should I leave?" Kurt gasped mockingly. He placed his hand dramatically on his chest, certain that it would piss Karofsky off further. "It's not like I have anywhere I need to be. I mean… You're not exactly as close to the jocks on the football team as I thought you to be, and Azimio had no problem leaving you behind in the parking lot."
"Fuck you, Hummel." Karofsky flushed. He pointed a finger threateningly in Kurt's direction. "Azimio slushied you. Not me. Alright?" Karofsky snatched the clothes hanging from the door. Kurt fumed.
"I'm not talking about youme, you idiot. I'm talking about meyou... God, this is irritating." Kurt rubbed his temples. He took a deep breath in the hopes it would calm him down. "I'm talking about the fact that Adams just completely abandoned me in the parking lot."
"So, what are you trying to say?" Kurt could feel the anger emanating from Karofsky despite the fact that they were standing on opposite ends of the restroom.
"I'm saying that maybe if you didn't try to hide who you were so much, you would actually have friends."
Dave could see the immediate regret in Kurt's eyes after the words left his mouth, and Dave sure as hell wasn't going to act like they stung.
"You wanna talk about friends, Hummel? It's not like any of yours are here, helping you clean up," Dave said in a deadly quiet voice. He watched Kurt struggle to find a response to that.
"Well, maybe had you not run away from them, like you run away from everything, they would have—F-Finn and Rachel." He could see Kurt swallow thickly as he attempted to mask the hurt look on his face. "Besides, I have Blaine, he…"
"That little hobbit?" he spat, taking a step closer. "Why the hell would he care about you? You've known him for what…? A week?"
"He helped me, like we tried to help you!" Kurt cried helplessly and Dave laughed mockingly. He thought about commenting on how outing him in the stairwell could have helped him, but Dave couldn't help bubble of jealousy that was about to pop in his chest any more than he could help the lie that bubbled past his lips.
"What makes you think he gives a shit about you when he hasn't even called or text you since we switched bodies?"
Dave thought going off on Kurt would make him feel better about the fact that he didn't have any friends to be concerned about him, no one in his life who sends him smiley face texts, and no one to try to fight his battles in the way Finn tried to fight Kurt's. So it didn't come as a surprise when Kurt's chin quivered momentarily before turning sharply around and exiting the restroom, leaving Dave as alone as he ever was.
Like I said... Sorry! I hate it when my boys fight as much as I'm sure you do.
In regards to Dave never slushying Kurt. I know there's a good chance that Dave did slushy Kurt in "Audition", or at least tried to, I'm choosing to ignore that fact, at least for now. I'm still certain that he missed on purpose. I think Dave is too stubborn to use the good ole "I had something in my eye" excuse, because Dave totally hit the wall instead. Just sayin'.