Title: Rain in Their Hearts
Authors: Kadysn & PlatinumRoseLady
Characters: Sam Winchester (canon) and Rose, Angel, Julia and Robin Winchester (OCs)
Disclaimer: Sam doesn't belong to us, more's the pity. We just put him through hell then make him all better.
Summary: Sam comes home after a bad day at work, and finds he wasn't the only one in a pissy mood. Tempers flare and angst ensues...but no worries...schmoop saves the day.
A/N: I was having a pissy day myself, and needed to work my way through it. Writing this with the wonderful assist of my dearest PRL made it all better. Thanks, sweetheart. *hugs you* I hope the rest of you will read and enjoy, and if you feel so inclined, leave us some comments. Thanks!
Rain in Their Hearts
When Sam walked in the door after a long day at work, Rose could immediately see he was in a bad mood. He had his 'bitch face' going. Normally she would have tried being a comfort to him, to coo over him and try to work him out of his funk, but not today. She'd had her own bad day. She'd begun another period, and had been cramping hard all day. She felt like shit, and the kids had only made it worse, being unusually crabby themselves.
Nope, she wasn't going to be sweet and tender. If he wanted to blow off his bad mood on her, she'd fucking let him, and give it back to him in kind.
Rose wasn't sure what was going on today, but between the twins being in a snit and barely speaking to each other, her own cramps, and now Sam coming home in a bad mood, it was obviously going to be one of those days. Robin, for his part was just being very quiet, carrying Lucky around like the cat was some type of talisman. She popped a couple of Advil and opened the 'fridge.
She really didn't feel like cooking tonight, so she took out the containers of Chinese Food Sam had brought home last night. There was still plenty of chicken left, and some spare ribs, along with an almost full container of rice.
Fine. That's what they were having for dinner, and Heaven help ANYONE who complained about it.
Of course, when Sam stepped into the kitchen doorway and saw what was on the menu for dinner, he snarled, "We're having leftovers?"
Rose turned from the fridge and glared at him, after slamming the containers on the counter. "Yes. We are having leftovers. D'you have a problem with that?"
Sam folded his arms over his chest, making him appear more bulky than usual. "As a matter of fact, I do. I've had a shitty day today, and I don't think it's too much to ask to come home to a nice, home-cooked meal."
Rose saw red. She picked up the food containers and tossed them into the garbage. "Then fucking prepare it yourself, Sam. I've had a shitty day myself, and I'm just not in the mood to stand over the stove."
"Aw, I'm sorry, it must have been SO HARD staying home all day long, having moments to yourself," Sam sneered. "It must be SUCH a burden, not having to listen to some yuppie-scum parents bitch about how their kid's aren't the perfect little angels they say they are and that I'M the one who can't see how SPECIAL their little prince is!" He opened the 'fridge and was going to grab a bottle of juice - at least until he caught the look in Rose's eyes, and decided "Fuck it" and grabbed a bottle of beer instead.
Rose wasn't a violent person, but at that moment, all she wanted was to strike out. Her entire body vibrated with the rage flowing through her.
Before she had the chance to respond, Sam tipped his head back and guzzled the entire bottle of beer in one go, then reached in the fridge for another bottle.
"So...that's how you want to deal with your boo-hoo sob story, huh? Drown it in alcohol?" Rose thrust her hands on her hips. "You're the only one who has the right to have a bad day? Well, fuck you, Samuel John Winchester. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on." She turned and stormed from the room, crossing through the living room, leaving the kids staring after her. She stomped up the stairs and into their bedroom, slamming the door behind her.
Sam growled and slammed the half full bottle into the trash. "Son of a fucking BITCH!"
If Sam and Rose hadn't been in the middle of their own dramas, they might have noticed that Angel and Julia had long since made up from their tiff. If they'd been in better moods they would've praised both girls, would have beamed with joy that Robin had acted as peace-maker, had gotten his sisters talking again. And there would've been hugs and kisses all around.
"If" can be such a big word.
"D-Daddy?" Angel stood in the kitchen doorway, Julia and Robin behind her.
Sam turned, and glared at the kids. "What?" he snarled.
Julia and Robin immediately began to cry. Angel, on the other hand, allowed her Winchester temper to come out. "I know you're mad, Daddy, but you don't need to growl at Mommy, or at us." She pointed at her siblings. "You made them cry, Daddy, and that's not right. Say you're sorry." She put her hands on her hips, just like her mother.
Sam saw this, and felt like pond scum, but the stress of the day wouldn't fall off him that easily or that quickly. "Never, Angel Mary, are you to take that tone with me. I am your father. It's not up to you to tell me what to do. Go to your room," he pointed. "Now."
Julia whimpered harder. "Daddy, no. No, please."
Angel turned around and gave her sister's hand a squeeze. "No, Julia. I'm gonna go."
When she turned around and looked at Sam again, her eyes were diamond-hard and Sam recognized that look; it was the same one he gave his father when he left for Stanford. Without another word Angel turned around, her little head held high, and walked upstairs to the room she shared with Julia.
Julia sniffled harder and Robin wiped his nose on his sleeve, both of them too upset to move.
Sam knew he wasn't handling this well, but the red hadn't gone from his eyes yet. "Not a word, Julia." He pointed to the living room. "Go. Take your brother into the other room and play quietly. Leave me alone for a while." His tone wasn't sharp and angry, but the look Julia gave him made him feel as if he'd cussed her out.
Before she turned and led Robin away, Julia gave Sam the strongest and most painful set of Puppy Eyes he'd ever seen, let alone given himself. Tears silently slid down her cheeks as she turned and led Robin away, leaving Sam behind to slam his fist onto the counter.
He turned back to the 'fridge, covered in drawings from the kids, and thought about getting another beer. No, he wasn't going to turn into his father. He WASN"T.
"What do you call that little performance, Sam?" whispered a portion of his mind. "Right out of John's playbook, I think."
Instead he went to his study, slammed the door shut, and brooded at his desk.
About a half hour later, his mood really wasn't much better, but there did sound like there was some activity. He could hear someone coming down the stairs and could hear Rose's voice as she talked to the children. He caught the words "mac and cheese" and "supper."
He was hungry; he'd been so upset at work he hadn't been able to eat during lunch time, but he knew right now he wasn't fit company, and he figured Rose would rather eat nails than to look at his face, so he stayed in his study and brooded.
Rose could feel through their shared bond that Sam wasn't angry anymore. Rather, he'd slipped into a dark, depressed funk. She wanted to go to him, she did; but she wasn't ready. She needed time. She pulled the familiar blue and yellow box from the pantry and began to put the mac and cheese together for the kids, and kept her speech to a minimum.
Julia sat at the kitchen table and studied her mother. Her heart hurt for Mommy and Daddy, and she wanted to fix it, but she didn't know what to do. She looked over at her brother, and saw tears streak down his face. He continued to hold Lucky tightly, and the cat seemed to understand what the boy needed.
Rose scooped up a portion of the cheesy concoction onto a plate, and poured a glass of milk. "I'm going to take this to your sister," she murmured, and left the kitchen. As she passed by the study door, Rose stopped.
"Um, there's mac and cheese, if you're hungry," she addressed the door, then walked upstairs. The smell of the food was making her stomach roll - she hadn't eaten all day thanks to her cramps. This was going to be a bad one; she could taste the bile in the back of her throat as she climbed the stairs.
Outside the twin's room, Rose lightly knocked on the door, and softly called out "Angel? Sweetie? Mommy's got your dinner - mac and cheese, your favorite."
Inside the room Rose could hear the bed squeak, and the door opened to reveal her eldest, her head bowed, her long hair down in front of her face. Rose smiled and came in setting the food on the little table where the girls held their tea parties. "There we go - all set. Now come over here and eat, baby."
Rather than go to the table, Angel crawled back onto the bed, and curled up on her side, facing away from Rose.
"Angel? Please, come over and eat," Rose's voice cracked. "Please...not you too." She sat on one of the small chairs and buried her face in her hands. After a moment, she felt a small hand run over her hair.
"Mama? Don't cry, please." Angel wrapped her arms around her mother's waist.
Rose pulled her daughter close and held on tightly, and began to cry in earnest.
Angel wasn't sure what she should do, so she did what Mommy did when she or one of her siblings cried. She began to stroke Rose's hair, and softly cooed, "It's okay, it's gonna be okay, shh, shh, now..."
In spite of herself, Rose had to laugh. "I'm supposed to do that for you, silly girl. I'M the Mommy."
Angel snuggled close; at least Mommy wasn't crying anymore. "Well, I always play the Mommy when we play 'House', so I'm good at it!"
Rose gently pulled the child close, and held her dear little daughter tight. "You are, my Angel, my most precious Angel. You make a very good Mommy."
"Mama?" Angel asked, her voice trembling.
"Yes, my love?"
"Does Daddy - does Daddy hate me right now?"
Rose felt like crying again at hearing Angel's question. "No, baby girl. No. Daddy doesn't hate you. He could NEVER hate you. Daddy just had a bad day and he needs some time alone to work through it."
"You had a bad day too, Mama. I'm sorry. I was a grump today." Angel rested her head against Rose and sighed loudly. "We were all bad today. I'm sorry I made you cry, Mama."
Rose held her eldest tight, and rocked with her. "Shh, it's ok, baby. It is." They sat together for several long minutes then Rose pulled back. "You need to eat your dinner before it grows cold." She set the child down off her lap. "Go ahead, eat. I need to get dinner for your brother and sister."
Angel nodded. "'Kay, Mama." She sat at the little table and spooned a bite of the macaroni.
Rose watched as Angel began eating, and after running a hand over the child's hair, she slipped from the room.
She was almost to the stairs when the cramps hit so hard they took her breath away. Rose dashed into the bathroom and closed the door, quickly turned on the faucet so Angel wouldn't hear, and, falling to her knees, vomited into the toilet.
Meanwhile, downstairs, Sam waited until he heard Rose go upstairs and then left the study. He felt like such a fucking coward...
"That's because you ARE one," hissed that troublesome voice again.
... But he didn't think Rose really wanted to see him yet. He walked out to the kitchen, where Julia and Robin were sitting, waiting for Mommy to come back. Julia was nibbling on a slice of bread, while Robin was softly talking to Lucky, who was perched on Angel's chair. Just seeing that empty little seat made Sam's heart lurch.
He went to the stove and dished up bowls of the mac and cheese for the kids, and setting the bowls down, ran his hands over their hair. "Daddy's sorry. So sorry." He leaned down and kissed first Julia's head, then Robin's.
Julia looked up at him with soulful eyes. "You don't hate me anymore?"
Sam fell to his knees on the floor. "Oh, God, baby...no. Daddy would never hate you. I love you, your sister and brother, your mommy, so much."
"Then why did you say those things, Daddy? You hurt Angel. You hurt Mama."
Sam drooped his head, his bangs covering his face. "I know, honey, and I'm going to apologize. Stay here with your brother, ok? Eat your dinner, and I'll be back in a bit."
Julia nodded. "Ok." Just as Sam stood and headed for the doorway, Julia added, "I love you, Daddy."
Sam turned and looked at her, his heart in his shadowed eyes. "I love you too, baby girl."
Robin looked over at his sister. "Is it 'til wainin' in Daddy's heart?" he asked, as he popped a forkful of macaroni in his mouth.
Julia sighed. "I dunno. I hope not. It was raining in Mommy's heart today, too." She looked down at her bowl and sighed. "And mine. I don't even 'member why Angel and I were mad at each other."
Robin nodded. It was bad when it rained in your heart. He hoped the sun would come out for Daddy and Mommy, and soon.
Sam walked upstairs, and stopped outside the bathroom. He was about to knock, but he could hear the water running, so instead he went to the twin's room and lightly knocked on the door.
"Come in," he heard, and when he stepped inside, he found his precious daughter curled up on the bed, her arms tightly cuddling one of her stuffed animals. He crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed, and put a hand over Angel's back. "I'm sorry I got upset with you, sweetheart."
Angel didn't say anything for a moment, but she sent him a hesitant look, her green gaze dark. "Ok."
Sam needed more. "Do you forgive me?"
Angel rolled over so she could face him more fully. "You need to 'poligize to Mama."
Sam nodded. "I know, baby, and I will, but I need your forgiveness too. Just because I had a bad day didn't mean I should take it out on you or your brother and sister, or Mommy. I'm so sorry, my precious, precious girl." He leaned down and kissed her forehead.
Angel reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Me too, Daddy. I'm sorry."
Sam held her close, and began to rock gently back and forth, humming softly. It wasn't really a song, just a bunch of notes strung together, but it was the thought that counted.
Angel huffed a little, a move that she inherited from her Uncle Dean, "I'm not a baby anymore, Daddy!" she said, but she made no move to wiggle away.
"You're my baby," Sam said, as he looked into her eyes. "You will always, always be my baby, even when you grow into a woman," he kissed her and booped her nose, making Angel giggle. "You'll always be Daddy's special girl."
He held her close for a few more moments, rocking and humming, and before he knew it she'd drifted off to sleep in his arms.
Sam ran his hand over her hair one more time, and kissed her, then turned and left the room, this time heading back to the bedroom he shared with Rose. He walked in and, still hearing the water running, knocked on the bathroom door. "Baby? Are you ok?"
Even over the sound of the water, he heard a low groan. He reached out and turned the knob, and when he stepped through the door, he was shocked and dismayed to find Rose wilted and her head hanging over the toilet seat. "Rose!" He fell to his knees beside her, and reached out to push the sweat-damp strands of her hair from her eyes.
Rose moaned, and even though she felt his comforting hand, she couldn't manage to speak. Instead, when another wave of nausea swamped her, she retched into the bowl.
"God, baby...what's wrong?" Sam asked, concerned. He hadn't seen her this sick in a long time...not since she was newly pregnant with Robin. "Rose, baby...are you-?"
Rose groaned and rested her heated forehead on her hand. "No, I'm not. God, I wish I was, but I'm not," she cried softly. Lifting her face up, she looked into his dark eyes. "I started my period today, Sam, and I fucking hurt."
Sam was, to say the least, confused. "But, since when do women throw up during their... y'know?"
Rose's lips managed to twist into a smile. "Their period? You can say it. Sometimes, some women get cramps during, not before. And I'm one of them. It's just... never been this bad." She looked up at him, and her eyes filled with tears. "Sam, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry you had a bad day. I just couldn't deal with it, not the way I'm feeling." She slowly got to her feet, Sam helping her to stand. She opened the medicine cabinet, and got out the mouthwash. She swished it about in her mouth then spat it out, then she reached over and flushed the toilet.
Rose looked down at the carpet, her bare toes wiggling. "I was immature and I acted like a spoiled brat," she said, her voice small. "I'm so sorry, Puppy."
Sam pulled her into his arms and held on tight. "I'm sorry too, honey. So sorry. I never should have taken my job frustrations out on you and the kids. I knew that at the time, but the poison spilled out of me." He lifted her up in his arms and carried her out of the bath and to their bed. "Lay down. Let me help you." He kissed her then asked, "I read somewhere that heat helps. D'you want me to get the heating pad?"
Rose nodded and gave a deep sigh. "Yeah, but go tend to the kids first. I'll be fine."
"Are you sure?" he asked, not wanting to leave her, but knowing he needed to. "I'll be right back." He ran a soothing hand over her hair, and smiled softly when she leaned her head into it.
"'Kay," Rose nodded. "Take care of our babies."
Sam nodded back. "I love you, Rosebud. I hope you know that. You're my heart and soul. My life."
Rose smiled, tiredly. The whole day just seemed like, if she could, she'd have hit rewind and would have stayed in bed. "You're my life, too, Sam. My sweet Puppy." She blew him a kiss and laughed softly when Sam "caught" it.
Sam walked back down stairs, and found Julia and Robin still at sitting in the kitchen, quietly finishing up their dinners. They both looked up and Robin shyly asked.
"Are you bedder, Daddy?"
Sam smiled at his wonderful kids, and nodded. "Yeah, I am, but Mommy's not feeling well. Let's get you two cleaned up, and if you will play quietly in your rooms while I help your mom, I'll be back in a while to tuck you in." He knelt between their chairs. "I'm sorry, so sorry, for being a grumpy dad tonight. Forgive me?"
Julia pushed herself off her chair and went into his arms. "It's not raining in your heart anymore, is it?" She rested a small hand over his heart.
"No, baby girl. It's not." He kissed her forehead, then shifted position so he could kiss Robin's forehead as well. "C'mon. I'll race you upstairs!"
Julia giggled, and grabbed her brother's hand. "C'mon, Robin. We can't let Daddy catch us!" With a squeal, she dashed out of the kitchen, Robin right behind her as fast as his little legs could carry him.
Sam watched them, giving them a head start, and once more felt amazed that he had such precious children in his life.
Now, if only he could make things up to his wife.
He put the dishes in the sink and filled it with soapy water (they could wait and he'd take care of them,) and then he went upstairs. Julia had already brushed her teeth and had put on her tiny nightgown when Sam opened the door.
He blinked, surprised. "All ready for bed, Birdie?" he whispered. "It's a little early."
She shrugged. "I'm sleepy, Daddy. It was raining in my heart today, too. I feel better now, but I-I'm so..." She yawned and Sam scooped her into his arms. He placed her in bed next to Angel and gently tickled her under her chin. Julia's soft, sweet giggles made his heart soar, as he bent down and kissed his two girls.
"Sleep sweet, my bunnies," Sam said, tenderly. "Daddy loves you."
Sam slipped into Robin's room, and found the boy, like his sister, already in his jammies. "Ready for bed, son?" He sat on the bed beside Robin, who had Lucky in his lap.
"Uh, huh." Robin nodded. "Daddy?"
"I wuv you."
There was no way Sam could hold back the tears. He gathered his son into his arms, displacing Lucky, and receiving a yowl from the feline. "I love you too, son. Very much."
With a tone much more adult than expected from a three-year-old, Robin said, "Go to Mama, Daddy. She not feelin' good. 'Night, 'night." He crawled out of his father's embrace, and pulling Lucky close again, curled up on his side.
"Good night, Robin. Sleep sweet." Once he saw Robin's eyes close, Sam stood and exited the room, and as promised, fetched the heating pad for Rose.
When he entered their room, he found her curled up on her side, holding her abdomen. "I'm sorry, baby. Here-" He plugged the heating pad into a nearby wall socket and placed it on her belly, then sat beside her on the bed and began stroking her back soothingly. He watched her, and after a few minutes, when he saw her body visibly relax, he took a deep sigh of his own. "Better?"
Rose nodded. "Yeah." She rolled onto her back. "I love you, Puppy. I'm sorry I was such a raging bitch."
Sam shook his head. "That's ok. I should have been more observant." He leaned down and kissed her, long and sweet. "Forgiven and forgotten?"
Rose kissed him back, with as much passion as her pain-soaked body would allow. "Want to tell me about your day?" she asked, lightly running her hand along his jaw.
He shook his head. "No. It doesn't matter anymore, and I shouldn't have brought it home with me like that. I'm so sorry, Rosebud. Forgive me?"
She snuggled into his arms and smiled. "Forgiven and forgotten."