Inspired by Lord Akiyama's "Total Drama Action Redux".
Here's the deal, in this version of Total Drama World Tour, I'm going to make things go the way I feel they should have. Not all the locations visited will be the same as on the show and not all the challenges from the show's location will be the same.
The first two episodes, which would be the Egypt ones "Walk Like An Egyptian" parts one and two are the same as on the show in this story, so they won't be re-written. The only difference is that the whole "DJ animal curse thing" doesn't happen since it was lame.
The songs will be mostly original and well…
Here goes the chapter…
The Total Drama Jumbo Jet made its way across the sky in the early afternoon and the cast of the show either suffered or enjoyed its innards. In the first class cabin, the members of Team Amazon were enjoying a much deserved luxurious rest.
Gwen was reading a book about the life of Salvador Dalí while one of the interns gave her a shoulder rub; Heather was relaxing in the hot tub; Courtney was eating from a box of chocolates and Cody was sleeping while Sierra took multiple pictures of him.
"Sierra, what are you doing?" Courtney asked, quite disturbed by the sight.
"Oh, I just realized how adorable Cody looks while he's asleep so I thought I might as well take some pictures of him for my Facebutt account." The fangirl answered.
"You say Cody is adorable all the time." Courtney countered.
"Oh yeah, but when he's awake he tries to run away from me while I take the pictures." Sierra justified.
"I'm just going to ignore what you're doing now." Courtney said.
"Maybe you should. Go back to eating your chocolates; it'll help you get over missing Duncan faster." Sierra told her.
"Whoa! I am not eating these chocolates to get over the fact that Duncan left the show, leaving me alone, despite the fact that he promised we would stick together no matter what and…"
At that point Courtney began to get teary eyed and proceeded to wail and run off to the nearest bathroom.
"You just totally made Courtney cry." Heather said, a bit shocked. "Sierra, I'm liking you more every minute."
"Thanks." The fangirl said and continued taking pictures of the snoozing Cody.
Heather – "When I first saw Sierra she seemed like she would be absolutely useless, annoying and absolutely unbearable. Though the latter two things are true, it turns out that she's not all that useless after all. If she can read people that well I should keep her on my side to make sure I know what's on everybody's minds. /Grins wickedly/ I think mama smells a brand new alliance.
Courtney – "The reason I just pathetically burst into tears and ran to the bathroom to cry it out isn't because I miss Duncan. It's because I was saddened that Sierra could make such a lousy assumption. Somebody with such terrible perception skills must have it hard in the real world. I don't miss Duncan at all. I don't miss his bad boy attitude, his ruggedness, his charm, his tender side, the way he made me feel pressure-less and special and the way he…/Sobs slightly/ Goddamn it Courtney, keep it straight! /She slaps herself/ Ouch!
In the lower cabin most fo the contestants were huddled together, trying to fit in the small benches. Team Victory was on the left bench and Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot was on the right one.
"I wonder where they're taking us for our next challenge." Bridgette pondered out loud.
"I hope they take us to France, I always wanted to go shopping there." Lindsay squealed.
"You want to get some high Paris fashion, Lindsay?" Tyler asked.
"Oh no Taylor, I want some high fashion from France not from Texas." Lindsay replied.
"She knows Paris, Texas but not Paris, France." Noah remarked sardonically. "Amazing."
Then the P.A. System activated and Chef Hatchet's thundering voice could be heard throughout the plane.
"This is your pilot telling you that all passengers should strap onto their seats for the air control tower has warned us that a vicious Godzilla attack is about to happen in…now."
Suddenly the airplane was rocked and then stopped completely. The contestants began to struggle to strap onto their seats but most of them were late and the plane suddenly began to shake wildly, swinging most of them around and causing them to hit things and people around them.
Suddenly the motion stopped and the plane was lowered onto the ground. Most of the contestants had been rocked around and injured…in fact all of them except Courtney got shaken around.
"Fortunately, my thorough following of plane safety instructions spared me that painful shaking." Courtney commented snidely.
"If you don't shut up I'll give you a painful shaking!" Heather yelled at Courtney.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you, heather." Courtney said cockily as she got off her seat. "I'm highly trained in hand-to-hand combat."
"Oh yeah? Well I'm…"
Heather approached Courtney menacingly while delivering her threat but as soon as she was close enough, Courtney shot her palm forward in a karate chop and slammed it into Heather's neck. The black haired girl collapsed on the floor and made squirming noises as she found herself unable to move her body.
Courtney looked down at Heather with a confident smirk while Gwen approached her, cackling madly.
"Where did you learn to do that'" Gwen asked, trying to hold back her laughter.
"My karate instructor, Mr. Wong, taught me how to do so after my successful black belt testing. It's called the Lin Slice. It'll leave her paralyzed from the neck down for ten minutes." Courtney explained.
"You have got to teach me how to do that." Gwen said.
In the lower cabin, the other contestants struggled to get up.
"Is everybody OK?" Bridgette asked.
"I think I'm fine, though my chest feels heavier." Lindsay muttered.
The blonde stood up and looked down to find that Noah was on her chest…with his face jammed in her cleavage.
"Phwease phelp me." Noah yelled in a mumbled voice.
Tyler got up and looked at the scene and promptly yelled like a little girl before charging at Lindsay and pulling Noah from her shirt.
"What do you think you were doing?" Tyler yelled in anger.
"I was dying by being smothered by a hormonally overdeveloped blonde's ridiculously large mammaries." Noah replied casually. "It was disturbing."
The bookworm proceeded to walk away, appearing absolutely oblivious to the envy of his fellow males and indifferent to the fact that he had just lived out one of their biggest dreams.
"I don't know why, but Noel suddenly seems more attractive to me." Lindsay said.
"That guy is a GENIUS!" Harold yelled.
Owen – I always figured that Noah was pretty book smart and strategy smart and math smart and history smart and science smart /Fast forward/ …And macramé smart but I never knew he was a genius with the ladies. He plays it cooler than Keanu Reeves and Keanu is the coolest dude in coolworld!
"Man, I thik I hurt my fabulous head." LeShawna said as she tried to get up.
"Let me help you out, señorita." Alejandro said. "Such a beautiful body can't be damaged any further."
"Why thank you." LeShawna said, blushing.
From a distance, Harold looked on this nervously but convinced himself it was nothing.
The entire cast was gathered in the cafeteria when the cabin door opened, revealing a smiling Chris McClean.
"Hello children!" Chris exclaimed.
"Hello Chris." Owen replied, earning glares and befuddled looks from most contestants.
"Today's challenge will be in the land of giant monsters, crazy game shows, bizarre punishments and ancient emperors…"
"Japan!" Harold yelled excitedly.
Chris glared at the nerd and proceeded to approach him. He reached into his pocket and drew a stun gun, which he promptly slammed into Harold's neck. The nerd shook as his muscles convulsed due to the electric blast.
"Even though Harold ruined the surprise…Yes, we are in Japan." Chris announced. "Now please step outside the plane."
The cast followed instructions and left the plane, finding themselves in a landing strip in the middle of a Japanese rice field. At the end of the runway was a large building.
"Where's Chef?" DJ asked.
"Is he dressing up as a monster to scare us?" Gwen asked rhetorically.
"No, but now that you mentioned monsters…"
Suddenly a giant foot slammed down next to the contestants. When they looked up they saw the giant monster from the Total Drama Action studio.
"Say hello to Godzilla!" Chris yelled.
"That's not Godzilla. It doesn't look like Godzilla at all." Harold criticized.
Chris glared at him and pulled out a megaphone.
"Get the redhead first." Chris yelled at the monster through the megaphone.
The monster nodded and growled, prompting the cast to scream and run away as the beast chased them.
Elsewhere on a hill near the rice field, three men looked at the scene through binoculars. The men wore black suits and red ties. All three had sunglasses on, despite the fact that they complicated looking through the binoculars. Near them was a private jet which had a hot tub, a flat screen TV, a PS3, warm showers and tons of other luxuries. There was also a set-up of TV's which gave image to several cameras placed on the inside of the building at the end of the runway. All three men pulled down their binoculars simultaneously in a creepy fashion.
These men were the show's producers. The man standing in the middle that had jet black hair and was considerably tall was Damian Hellburn, an American former mob boss. The one on the right with combed-back brown hair and oddly tanned skin was the "silent but deadly" former British assassin Carter Denham and the last one who was noticeably pale with messy brown hair was Manuel Alberti, a former member of the Argentine Anticommunist Alliance, a notorious paramilitary anti-guerrilla organization.
"This is going well." Damian proclaimed.
"They are suffering, that brings in ratings." Alberti agreed.
"Courtney was visibly saddened over Duncan. She won't break up with him over him quitting." Damian declared.
"They'll stay together, that brings in ratings." Alberti proclaimed.
"Gwen appears to have some feelings for Duncan." Damian said.
"She might try to break-up one of our biggest crowd-drawers. That takes away ratings." Alberti concluded.
"We can't let her." Damian said.
"Absolutely not." Alberti said.
Carter shook his head.
"We should stop talking in this synchronized annoying manner." Damian proclaimed.
"Oh thank God, that was making me really nauseous." Alberti announced. "Let's go play 'Halo', I'm going to kick your asses."
The contestants were standing on a studio in the building at the end of the runway.
"Where's Chris, y'all?" DJ asked.
Suddenly the room's lights flared on and the contestants were then shown a large flash studio. The studio consisted of three podiums for the contestants, one podium for the host, a spinning wheel with several words and pictures on it and a group of twenty-four small screens on a wall with numbers on them and categories written above each column of screens.
Chris McClean emerged from under the host podium, wearing his old light-blue tux from Total Drama Action.
"Welcome contestants to Super Happy Crazy Boogie Time Game Show!" Chris yelled.
"Awesome! I love Japanese games shows!" Tyler yelled. "Like that one where the contestants have to throw a banana…"
"…With a giant shrimp-fork!" Harold and Tyler finished in unison.
"Yes contestants, a Japanese game show. Only that instead of focusing on the bizarre angle of these wacky oriental contests; we here at Total Drama have decided to go with the more cruel angle." Chris explained. "So, Supper Happy Crazy Boogie Time Game Show is basically a game where contestants have to pick a category and then answer questions about it…"
"That's exactly like 'Jeopardy'." Harold pointed out.
Chris glared at the redhead and proceeded to pull out his stun gun. He aimed it at the dork and immediately fired the electric pins at his forehead, giving him a serious electrical discharge which took him down.
"Moving on…there's a catch. If you are unable to answer your question correctly, you will have to spin the Wheel of Horrible Punishments and endure a horrible punishment. If a contestant has to endure a horrible punishment, he or she is eliminated and somebody else from their team must step up. The team that doesn't lose all its members to the fateful wheel is the winner!" Chris explained. "Now, every time pick a first representative and put them behind the podium."
Team Amazon huddled together and began to discuss their pick.
"OK, I think I should be the one to represent our team, since I am clearly the smartest one here." Courtney said.
"As if…If somebody is the smartest here it's me." Heather said. "I played everybody during season one."
"You didn't play me, Heather." Courtney rebutted. "Plus, this is book smarts we need…not bitch smarts."
Heather attempted to grab Courtney again, but the brunette simply gave her another Lin Slice and took her down.
"Anybody object to Courtney stepping us first?" Cody asked, quite freaked.
Gwen and Sierra shook their heads, staring petrified at the stunned Heather.
"Good." Courtney proclaimed.
On Team Victory's area, the team decided pretty quickly.
"I think Harold should go for us." DJ said.
"Yeah babydoll, you're the smartest one here." LeShawna said. "You gonna kick some major butt!"
"I'll do it!" Harold exclaimed.
Meanwhile, Team CIRRRRH also discussed who to send in first.
"I think that I have an idea who could go." Noah said.
"I think I ought to be our first choice." Alejandro said.
"What?" Noah asked indignant.
"Oh yeah." The rest of the team replied.
Noah looked on at this in frustration.
Noah – I don't tend to judge people too much based on their moral codes, but rather on their practical work. I don't care that Alejandro is a sleazy, manipulative con-man who is obviously trying to use his charm to have control over Lindsay, LeShawna and Bridgette; but I do care that he made the mistake of not putting the smartest guy up for the intelligence challenge. Good riddance to him. As soon as he fails they'll surely pick me.
The representative contestants placed themselves behind a particular podium and the game show began.
"Alright contestants, you can pick from one of the following categories: History, TV & Film, World Culture, States That Begin With 'Californ', Potent Potables and Music." Chris announced. "Team Amazon, since you won the last contest you get to pick first."
"OK." Courtney said. "I'll take Music."
Chris pressed a button on his podium and the screen below 'Music' with the number 600 flashed and revealed the text "What is Chris McClean's favorite musical?"
"What?" Courtney yelled.
"Oh yeah, I forgot. Most questions have to do with me." Chris said, grinning. "Ready to surrender?"
"Not really, since you're a self-centered jerk you probably like a musical about absolute self-glorification and desire to be in the spotlight." Courtney deduced. "It's 'Funny Girl', isn't it?"
Chris stared at her wide-eyed and slackjawed.
"I don't like you very much." Chris said. "…And yes it is 'Funny Girl."
"Your favorite musical is called 'Funny Girl'?" Harold said mockingly.
Chris raised his stun gun and blasted Harold with the electrodes again. After he got up, Chris talked to him.
"OK Mr. Mockery, it's your turn. Pick a category." Chris said.
"I'll take World Culture." Harold said.
The screen flashed on and showed the text "Why do people in other countries love Chris McClean?"
"What? How am I supposed to know that?" Harold yelled.
"You're not." Chris answered. "Now let me just spin the Wheel of Horrible Punishments for you."
Chris reached for the wheel and gave it a hard spin. The wheel turned and turned until landing on the square that read: "Irish Wake Up".
"What's a Irish Wake Up?" Harold asked.
Suddenly a hole opened on a nearby wall and a crate of whiskey shot out of it, striking Harold in the head and knocking him down.
"Clean up!" Chris yelled.
A hole opened on the roof and a giant vacuum cleaner lowered from it. The vacuum began sucking in and Harold was pulled into the machine's tube and taken up to the roof.
"Where does that tube go?" LeShawna asked.
"To our completely safe waiting area." Chris said.
Harold screamed as he fell down a giant chute and landed on a giant pile of garbage. The nerd got up and looked around to see that he was in a giant metal room with loads of garbage floating on a giant pool of black gunk.
Suddenly a loud, grinding metallic noise blared through the room.
"I've got a bad feeling about this…" Harold muttered.
The metallic noise blared again and then the side walls of the large room began to slowly slide towards each other, compressing the garbage.
"Doesn't matter, LeShawna is stepping up and she's gonna win this for Team Victory." LeShawna proclaimed.
"You can do it, girl." Bridgette cheered on.
"I'm gonna win this." LeShawna claimed.
Thirty minutes later, Courtney remained on the Team Amazon podium, while Bridgette was on the Team Victory podium with no other contestants remaining on her team and Izzy was on the Team CIRRRRH podium with only Noah remaining on for her team.
"Umm…Hitler." Bridgette answered to the question "What is Chris McClean's favorite historical figure?"
"OK that's mean and…No." Chris said.
"Darn." Bridgette groaned.
"I'm sorry, Bridge." Courtney said.
"No problem." Bridgette said, downtrodden.
Chris spun the Wheel of Horrible Punishments, leading it to land on the square that read "Dead Man's Chest".
"Dead Man's Chest?" Bridgette asked.
Chris pulled out a vase from under his podium and tossed it to Bridgette.
"Open that and pour the contents down your shirt." Chris said.
Bridgette sighed and pulled the lid off the vase, then she pulled on her shirt and reluctantly dumped the contents of the vase, which was only dust, into her bra.
"What was that?" Bridgette asked.
"The ashes of Graham Chapman, the legendary British comedian." Chris answered.
"Wait, you mean I poured a burnt corpse between my boo…"
Bridgette couldn't even finish the sentence and began to scream, though her screech was soon drowned by the sound of the giant vacuum sucking her up.
"Courtney the next question is for you." Chris said.
"I'll choose World Culture." Courtney announced.
Chris pressed a button and the screen showed the text "What ethnic origin does the last name 'McClean' belong to?"
"Easy…" Courtney said.
"This is ridiculous." Noah said. "I'll fix this."
Noah pulled off his shoe and flung it at Courtney.
"The answer is…"
The shoe hit Courtney in the lower back and bounced back to Noah.
"Ouch!" Courtney exclaimed.
"Oh, I'm sorry but 'Ouch' is not the answer." Chris said.
"What?" Courtney and her team yelled.
"That is so unfair!" Heather yelled.
Chris spun the Wheel of Horrible Punishment and it landed on "College Dorm Body Spray".
A hole opened on the roof and a metallic arm with a body spray can lowered itself near Courtney.
"McClean if you do something to me I will…"
The arm sprayed its gas on Courtney and upon inhaling it the brunette smiled broadly and drowsily as her eyes grew glassy and red.
"Oh…That feels goooood." Courtney said as she began to giggle.
The vacuum lowered itself on Courtney and sucked her in while she cheered in joy.
"He cheated!" Heather yelled while pointing at Noah.
"Nothing in the rules against distracting other players." Chris said.
"Regardless." Heather said. "We'll still win."
The Asian girl stepped up to the podium.
"The next question is for Izzy." Chris said. "Izzy you…"
Chris stopped talking when he noticed that Izzy was too busy licking the microphone on her podium. As all the remaining contestants stared startled, Chris wordlessly pushed the vacuum button and the giant machine sucked up the crazy girl.
Noah stepped up to the Team CIRRRRH podium.
"You are going to lose, short stuff." Heather said.
"We'll see." Noah said. "Now let the writer skip ahead ten minutes."
After ten minutes, the only contestant remaining contestant on Team Amazon was Sierra.
"You are done for Noah; I know everything there is to know about Chris." Sierra said. "Like how he likes his shoes cleaned with bleach."
"Yeah." Chris said.
"Or how he was nerdy and pimple-ridden in high school." Sierra claimed.
"Uh-huh." Chris groaned.
"Even about his embarrassing childhood fear of floss, which he thought would come to life and strangle him." Sierra added.
"I've even written an article about his inability to bathe alone until age ten."
Chris spun the Wheel of Horrible Punishments, which landed on "Argentine Welcome to the British". Immediately a vat of boiling water lowered itself from the roof and poured itself on Sierra. The girl screamed before she was sucked into the giant vacuum and taken down to the "harmless waiting room".
"I guess I win." Noah proclaimed.
"Yeah, now I better go to the 'harmless waiting room' and get the contestants out before they get crushed into tiny cubes." Chris said.
"Very well." Noah replied. "Wait…What?"
"We're doomed!" DJ screamed as the walls kept closing.
The losers in the garbage compactor were panicking as the walls kept closing in. They managed to decelerate it by jamming a metal rod against the walls, keeping them from closing all the way in.
"I never got to tell Geoff I loved him!" Bridgette yelled.
"Yes you did, like a million times." Gwen said.
"Don't worry, he knows you looooove him…" Courtney said, still incredibly drowsy. "Like my Dunkie. He loves me…And he makes love like wild bull."
"I could have gone many lifetimes without knowing that." LeShawna yelled. "This could not get any worse!"
The contestants then heard a little bell chime.
"You have got to be /bleep/ing kidding me!" LeShawna yelled. "Fine!"
Some poppy, Japanese sounding music began to play in the background and the unhappy campers began to perform.
Gwen was the one to begin.
"We're close to death!
Close to death!
Running out of breath!
We might soon be dead!"
Alejandro followed while he kept trying to push the walls apart.
"And though we might be doomed
We have to keep going on
If we don't want this to be our tomb
We don't have very long."
LeShawna continued while she was browsing through the garbage to find something to jam the walls with.
"Though we are close to death
We have to find a plan
We can't run out of breath
I don't want to be a flat frying pan!"
The melody switched to something that resembled more of showtune as Bridgette began to shake Courtney.
"Courtney you are smart
There must be something on your mind
From the bottom of my heart
I tell you that an exit you must find."
Courtney in turn replied.
"Bridge, don't think about your strife.
I've never felt this way before
Now I really enjoy life
Dying doesn't scare me anymore."
Cody, while looking through the garbage sang as well.
"She's totally stooooooned.
Then a panel on one of the walls that wasn't closing was pushed open and Noah stepped inside.
"Where do we begin?
When we lost
Chris dropped us in."
Noah looked up and saw that there was a big red button on one of the upper parts of one of the closing walls. The bookworm turned to Izzy.
"Izzy, look at the button up there.
I you go and press it
It will give rainbow color to your hair."
Izzy looked at the button and smiled madly.
The crazy girl leaped into the air and climbed the walls until she was next to the button, which she promptly pressed. Then the walls stopped closing in.
At that point, Tyler, who had been cowering in a fetal position in a corner, stood up and pounced to the center of the compactor.
Then the walls began to go backwards and the metallic rod that had been placed up to hold them apart fell and struck Tyler's head, knocking him out.
"Alright contestants!" Chris yelled. "Now that you've all cleaned the garbage out of your clothes and in Izzy's case ears and mouth, we can move onto challenge number two."
"You threw us into a garbage compactor!" LeShawna yelled.
"Oh, that's where the vacuum went?" Chris said, playing stupid.
"I want to do bad things to your face." Tyler said, cracking his knuckles.
"Shut up, Tyler." Noah said.
"Yes sir." Tyler said.
"Now contestants…Other than bizarre and painfully humiliating TV shows; what is the most defining aspect of modern Japanese culture?" Chris asked, rhetorically.
"Bombing Pearl Harbor." Noah remarked, reading a book.
"Other than that."
"Needless imperial position?" Alejandro said.
"No, something much less intellectual."
"Bizarre and painfully humiliating game shows?" Tyler asked.
"I said apart from that."
"Small pee-pees?" Lindsay asked.
"No and gross." Chris answered. "Anime."
"Oh…" Everyone said in unison.
"Now, I'll explain the challenge you will have to go through in a few minutes but before that all of you have to go to those dressing rooms over there..." Chris said while pointing at some doors with the symbol of a team on each. "…And change into the special anime series outfits we've selected for you."
"What kind of outfits would these be?" Gwen asked, sensing something bad.
"Humiliating ones." Chris said. "If you refuse to put on the outfit we've specifically pin-pointed out for you, you will automatically be eliminated and lose the chance to win the grand price of a million dollars."
"Damn!" All the contestants yelled.
"This is awesome!" Owen yelled as he came out of the dressing room.
He was wearing a small red vest that didn't cover his large belly, blue cargo shorts and a straw hat which made a costume looking like that of Luffy from "One Piece".
Noah followed, wearing a black three-piece suit with a blue shirt and a black tie, which made him look like Sanji from "One Piece".
Alejandro was the next one to come out, wearing a black tank top with black pants and a black band around his left arm; he was holding one sword in each hand and one on his mouth which made him look like Roronoa Zoro from the same anime.
Tyler emerged with a Usopp costume from "One Piece", which consisted of a brown boiler-suit, green boots and a netted war helmet.
Finally Izzy emerged wearing a light-blue and white striped shirt and beige short-shorts, an exact Nami costume, also from "One Piece".
"Chris! I will kill you!" Courtney's voice boomed out of the Team Amazon dressing room. Their door opened and all the girls emerged wearing costumes resembling those of the characters from Sailor Moon. Courtney was in the red Sailor Mars outfit, Gwen was in the blue Sailor Mercury costume and Heather in a Sailor Jupiter outfit.
However, Courtney and Gwen's costumes weren't absolutely normal since they included special pouches in the top that made it look like they had enormous G-cup breasts.
"What the /bleep/ is going through your /bleep/ing head?" Courtney yelled. "What's with these?"
"Oh yeah, a main feature of anime is fan service through characters with large breasts and since you two are two of the most popular girls on this show we decided to give all those perverts at home something to be happy about." Chris explained.
Gwen – /Dressed in her Sailor Mercury costume/ Chris is a total perv. Seriously. Huge fake boobs? I'm pretty sure this is illegal. Now I understand why Courtney sued him. /Gwen snaps to realization/ Did I just agree with Courtney? My God I feel so dirty.
Sierra – /Dressed in her Sailor Moon costume/ I loved Chris before, but now that he let me have these /Lifts fake boobs/ to woo in Cody, I consider him a God. In fact…/Reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small Chris doll. She sets it on the small bathroom counter and begins to worship it./
Cody - /Dressed in Tuxedo Mask costume/ Gwen with big boobs…Sweet.
"So we have to wear huge boobs?" Gwen screamed.
"How come they get huge boobs and I don't!" Heather yelled.
"The boobs are only for the popular contestants." Chris replied.
"Then who else got them?" Heather yelled.
The door to the Team Amazon door opened again and Sierra, dressed in a pink Sailor Moon costume emerged while she smothered Cody, who was dressed in a tuxedo and a white mask from the character Tuxedo Mask of Sailor Moon, between her large fake boobs.
"I love you Chris!" Sierra yelled while she further pressed Cody against her chest.
"Are you kidding me?" Heather screamed. "Sierra is more popular than me! She's been on the show for two episodes!"
"She runs the popularity polls." Chris answered.
The Team Victory door opened and the team emerged wearing costumes similar to those of "Pokémon" characters. Harold was wearing an Ash costume, Bridgette was wearing a May costume, Lindsay a Misty costume, LeShawna a Jesse costume and DJ a Brock outfit. However, very much like Team Amazon members, Bridgette and Lindsay had giant fake boobs on their costumes.
"Jesus /bleep/ing Christ! Bridgette is more popular than me? Why did you give Lindsay the boobs too? She already had huge boobs!" Heather yelled.
"Yeah but they weren't as big as the fake ones." Chris said.
"I hate your guts you perverted jerk!" Gwen grunted.
"I don't care what you think. I've made that pretty clear before." Chris said. "Now let me explain the challenge."
The host proceeded to pull out a map and showed it to the contestants.
"We are currently 50 miles away from the city of Tokyo. There is currently a giant robot monster headed towards the city to destroy it and your goal is to stop that monster." Chris said.
"How are we supposed to do that?" Tyler asked.
"That's why we gave you those anime costumes." Chris said. "All of them are outfitted with special machinery that gives you powers resembling those of the characters you represent."
"What do you mean?" Alejandro asked.
"I mean…Noah, try to kick something." Chris said.
Noah gave a kick into the air, but he suddenly felt his leg shoot up with extreme strength, accidentally hitting Harold's groin.
"Like that." Chris said. "The Sailor girls have devices that shoot things out of your bracelets and you guys from One Piece have super strong kicking, punching, jumping and also the shoes that can stick to steep surfaces."
"What do we have?" Harold asked.
"Nothing!" Chris yelled.
"Because you lost the previous challenge. Team I'm Really, Really, Really, Really Super Amazingly Hot won so they get the best powers and Team Amazon was second so they get the second best." Chris explained. "The way to stop the monster is to press the shut-off button on the back of its neck. Now get going!"
LeShawna – First he throws us into a garbage compactor and now we gotta fight a giant monster in ridiculous Japanese freaky little costumes. Chris probably took out a life insurance on us and is lookin' to cash it in real soon.
"Alright Team Amazon, we need a plan." Courtney said.
"Maybe you two could trip it with your enormous fake boobs." Heather said.
"You're just jealous because you're not popular enough to have them." Gwen said.
"Well you…You…You guys suck!" Heather yelled.
Courtney smiled at Gwen.
"You're good." She said.
"Thank you." Gwen replied. "Now let's get a game plan."
"What can you guys shoot?" Cody asked.
"Fire." Courtney replied.
"Water." Gwen said.
"Air." Heather said.
"Pink streamers." Sierra replied.
"Pink streamers?" Gwen asked.
Sierra lifted her arms and then some pink streamers shot out of her sleeves, wrapping around Cody. Sierra then pressed a button on her sleeves, causing the streamers to retreat into her sleeves and bringing Cody close to her.
Courtney thought for a second and then her eyes lit up.
"Girls, I have a plan."
"Alright team, are we ready?" Alejandro asked.
"Yes." The rest of his team said.
"OK, let's attack." Alejandro told them.
Team CIRRRRH charged into the Japanese rice field and ran towards the giant robotic monster that was making its way across it. Alejandro leaped against the monster's thing and slammed one of his swords into the monster's legs. He then began to climb up the leg by using the swords as climbing bars.
Owen – Al is so cool. The last time I ever saw somebody climb so fast was my friend Eric during gym class when he climbed up that rope when I mistook him for a giant talking cookie. He never forgave me for taking off his delicious, chocolate-chip toe of goody-goody flavor-filled delight and…/Camera cuts off/.
Alejandro kept climbing the monster's leg until he reached the hip. He proceeded to stab one of his swords into the monster's lower back thigh, causing it to scream in pain and lift up the leg Alejandro was holding onto.
Upon seeing this, Noah turned on the super kicking device of his suit and threw super kick at the monster's other leg. The kick violated all laws of physics by being strong enough to knock the leg off its balance and take the monster down.
Alejandro pulled his swords out of the monster's leg and proceeded to triumphantly walk up the fallen monster to its neck.
"Now I shall take my time to enjoy my victory over this huge monster." Alejandro said.
"Don't gloat you Spanish pretty-boy, press the shut down button." Noah yelled.
"Relax Noah, Al is cool, he'll manage." Tyler said.
"Yes, don't worry Noah. Nothing will happen." Alejandro said.
Immediately after that, something happened. The monster swung its tail backwards and crushed Alejandro against its back. Then it stood up and dropped Alejandro onto the floor before walking off.
"Not a word." A pained Alejandro said to Noah.
Alejandro - ¡/Spanish bleep/!
Chris McClean and Chef were sitting in reclining chairs on the rooftop of a moderately tall building in the outskirts of Tokyo.
"How do you think those kids are doin'?" Chef asked.
"They're probably alright." Chris said. "They probably stopped it by now."
"What if they don't stop it? If it makes it to the city won't it destroy it, man?" Chef asked.
"Maybe, yeah; but what are the odds of the monster actually making it to the city?" Chris asked rhetorically.
The two hosts were then startled to their feet by a ferocious roar. They looked up to see the ferocious monster burst into the city with the terrified members of both Team Victory and Team CIRRRRH clinging onto its legs. The monster began to tear chunks out of buildings and bite sections of different parts of the city.
"I don't think the producers are gonna be too happy about this." Chris said.
On the hill near Tokyo, three men stood up while looking at the city through binoculars.
"How much do you think we'll have to pay in damages for this?" Damian asked.
"To pay for reparations, maybe a couple hundred grand." Alberti replied. "…But to pay off al those assholes from human rights we're gonna need to sell our internal organs."
"Chris is so going to get shot in the ass for this." Damian declared angrily.
Harold – Now, when we clung onto the monster's feet to try and slow it down but it kept going I wasn't too worried. When the other team did the same and it still didn't work I began to get a little preoccupied but I think it was around the time the monster started to destroy Tokyo that I felt maybe we were in a little over our heads.
"What are we gonna do?" Chris yelled. "If that giant mechanical lizard destroys the city we'll get sued by every human rights group and Godzilla filmmaker in the world!"
"What about all the people that might get harmed?" Chef asked rhetorically.
In less than five seconds both Chef and Chris burst into hysterical laughter. Chris began to cry due to the hard laughter.
"Man, you're hilarious." Chris said as the laughter wore down. "Though seriously, what are gonna do?"
A ferocious battle cry was heard down below as Sierra charged through the street towards the monster.
"Alright Sierra, stick to the plan!" Courtney yelled as she and the rest of the team followed Sierra into charging towards the monster.
When Sierra was close enough she pulled out a thin needle and poked her fake boob with it. Immediately the false bosoms exploded, unleashing a gigantic wave of pink streamers. The streamers shot at the monster's legs and got completely tangled around them. Once it was on the floor, Gwen used a needle to pop her false chest and a jet stream of water burst out of them, splashing the monster's face. The water made it short circuit immediately and disabled it completely. Finally Courtney leaped on top of the head and walked up to the neck, where she pressed the off button and put the robot monster out of commission.
From atop the building he was on, Chris McClean called out to the contestants through a megaphone.
"That was amazing!" He yelled. "…And just in time too! I was afraid that thing would tear down the entire city! Team Amazon, you are the winners of today's challenge!"
The Team Amazon members cheered in celebration. Sierra hugged Cody, Heather pumped her fist in the air and Courtney high-fived Gwen.
"As a special reward you girls will get to be on the first class area again and you will also receive a luxurious all sushi dinner!" Chris announced.
Team Amazon cheered once again while the rest of the teams groaned in frustration.
"Now, Team CIRRRRH. You guys may have lost but you are safe from elimination. Team Victory, one of you guys is going home." Chris said.
"What?" LeShawna yelled. "Why us and not them?"
"Because Captain Alberta over there." Chris said while pointing at Harold. "Bugged me way too much today. See you at the elimination."
The members of Team Victory all glared angrily at Harold, who tried to hide away behind the giant broken monster.
(Bathroom Voting Confessionals.)
DJ - /Stamping a passport/ I'm sorry man, but you cost us the game today.
Bridgette - /Without a word she reluctantly stamps a passport/.
LeShawna – Harold cost us the game today, but he's my sugar boy. /Thinks for a minute before taking a deep breath and stamping a passport/.
Harold - /Stamps his own passport/ I deserve to go home.
Lindsay - /She takes aim to stamp a passport but somehow ends up stamping her own forehead and knocking herself down/.
"Alright Team Victory." Chris said. "Just like last time you sucked majorly. Let's see who's going home."
Chris pulled out the Airplane Issue Peanut Barf Bags and aimed at the contestants.
"Bridgette and Lindsay." He said before tossing the bags at the girls he mentioned.
He picked up another bag.
"LeShawna." He said, throwing it at her.
As Harold and DJ were the only ones left, Chris picked up the last bag and took aim. He held the suspense of the moment, waiting for as long as he could before finally tossing the last peanut/barf bag to…
The tall guy caught his bag and Harold sighed and stood up from his seat. He walked over to the open plane door and turned to face his teammates
"I'm sorry, Harold." Bridgette apologized.
"No need to apologize my fellow teammates. I cost us the game and therefore do not deserve the glory." Harold said dramatically. "Goodbye!"
The dork proceeded to fall backwards out the open plane door and screamed as he fell.
"You forgot your parachute!" Chris yelled as he tossed it out of the door as well.
The host closed the door and then turned to the screen.
"Geez, what a drama queen." Chris said. "Well, this was certainly an interesting episode. Who will be eliminated next week? In what way will the contestants suffer next week? To discover the answer to these questions all you have to do is review this story and tune in next time to Total…Drama…Wooooorld Tooooouuuuur!"
DJ – Harold
Bridgette – Harold
LeShawna – DJ
Harold – Harold
Lindsay – N/A
Harold – 3
DJ – 1
OK, quick author's note. I'd like to thank you for reading and just like Chris said:
My goal for this story is to have at least five reviews per chapter. If I can reach that number I'll be elated.
Mr. Panama Red.