Disclaimer : Teen Titans are not mine, they belong to DC Comics and Warner Bros.
Broken Record moment: Aussie, spelling, slang, word usage is all different. Blarg.
Author's Note: Be aware, this is written in a completely different style than you are used to seeing from me and I will make mistakes. Yes, it's multi-chaptered, but nowhere near as long as Orange Coloured Cliffs or Locked Hearts. Yes, it is already completely written. Yes, you will be getting one a day, so please don't ask me to update more, or faster, or please. Posting will be done at my night; I have little time during the day. No, it will not contain the smex.
This story is an attempt at doing something I always wanted to do, but in the E'ara universe, I locked myself out from doing it very early on.
Trouble in Tokyo doesn't exist. Because the version they showed on Cartoon Network in Australia cut the kiss. Seriously.
Set, approximately 2 years after 'Stranded'.
There is a rather lengthy note on my Author's page, I would appreciate it if you all took the time to read it. (Edit, I realised that was misleading, my apologies. It is not the novel.)
Big Fat Warning: Crude humour. Occasional vulgarity. Burning fluff.
The blue sky of Earth was one of my most favourite places to fly. It was only on Earth that I could truly be free, and it was the unlimited sky which helped me express that freedom. The visible mass of water droplets that suspend in the atmosphere, my apologies, clouds, were amusing and fun to dive through. Tamaran does not have clouds and I could still remember the first taste of pristine water of my first cloud.
I did not have the freedom to do that on Tamaran. To dive and play in clouds and skim along the top of the water so close I could feel its spray against my face. If I wanted to fly, Galfore would have to accompany me, along with a regiment of protective guards. I would be boxed in the middle of all of them, forced to fly a predestined route. I could not enjoy the wind as I do on Earth. I remember that first feeling of true flight when Robin told me there were no restrictions about it here on Earth. No one would tell me I could not fly. I went flying and I did not return for many hours.
Even now, after years spent on Earth, freedom to fly was cherished. There were days I do not land because I was so happy to be free.
I could remember a lot of things about my firsts. My first cotton candy, my first waffle, my first night of movies, my first friend. The first time I was part of a team, a true team. Accepted for who I was, not because I was a princess.
There were many things here on Earth I found fascinating. How cotton candy could disappear in your mouth. How they could experience so many emotions and no one would stop them. How affection and friendship and care does not make them weak. How does the television work. Fireworks. Chocolate. Ice-cream. Table manners. Movies. Motorcycles. Puppy dogs. Mustard. Words of slang. How people could wear so many clothes.
Prolonged lip contact, or kissing as they called it here on Earth, does not exist on Tamaran. Lip contact merely signifies the transfer of language. But on Earth, it means more, and I have always been fascinated by that. How the simple pressing of a tactile sensory organ against another's can be a sign of intimacy. How it is longed for, appreciated, even actively sought out.
Earthen movies have romanticised it for me. I often watched the 'chick flicks', as Beast Boy calls it, in the privacy of my room. I watched as the women swoon over the men. I hugged my pillow as I watched the gradual romance build throughout the movie. The trials the couples must endure before they can declare their love. I watched, enthralled as they shared their first kiss. She sighed, he lunged, and they shared.
I would swoon and wish it was me. I would touch my own lips and they would tingle.
It was my guilty pleasure.
Raven shared it, on occasion. She would sit beside me on my bed, or her bed, and we would eat the popping corn and paint our toenails various colours. We would laugh and talk and watch the couple fall gradually in love. We would giggle in the humourous parts and we sighed in delight when they admitted their attraction. Raven would be just as enthralled as I was when they shared their first kiss.
But she, at least, has someone to practice her kissing on.
Today, Raven and I were watching The Princess Bride in her room. It was one of my favourite movies. Westley was so handsome. He was smart, suave, could wield a sword. He was strong and he was hopelessly devoted to Buttercup, his True Love.
The concept of True Love could be confusing. Even in the movie, there were those who do not believe in it. Buttercup herself had trouble with it before she learnt to have faith. True Love could defeat even the most extreme of circumstances, it triumphed and strengthened.
Humans had so many different concepts for it. Love. Amour. Amore.
In the 'chick flicks', the signs of true love were melodramatic: heart palpitations, loss of sleep, loss of appetite, blowing curtains, fireworks.
On Tamaran, if you have those things, you were not so much in love as in lust. I have learnt this is not an acceptable thing on Earth. Humans were not as open to lust without love. If you were, there were many names you could be called. Oddly enough, if you were female, the names have much nastier connotations, which puzzles me. Surely if males are called 'the players' because they have so many female liaisons, then a female should not be degraded because she has a similar passion for males. It was one of those things that Robin cannot explain.
In the 'chick flicks' the heroes were often knights on white horses, rescuing damsels in distress. There were sword fights. Epic battles. Climatic plot. Romantic music. Declarations of true love.
Even now, as Raven and I watched Westley and Buttercup ride off into the sunset to have their kiss that supersedes all others since the invention of the kiss, I was caught up in the moment. I have watched this movie many times and it always succeeded in making me swoon.
I was not naive enough to believe it is like that in the real world. The relationship between my mother and father was not one of love. Theirs was a diplomatic marriage. I know what would await me should I return to Tamaran. I was a princess. There was a duty and love cannot be a part of it.
There was still a part of me that yearns for it. Awakened here on Earth, I would always dream for love and kisses.
I lived a hero's life, should I not receive my share of hero kisses?
"Why are you sad?" Raven asked as the ending credits played. "I thought this was your favourite movie."
"It is," I said as I hugged my pillow tighter. "I wish I could be kissed like that."
Raven snorted as she checked to see if her toes were dry. She had painted them a lovely burgundy colour. "It's idealised Hollywood drama."
"I know," I replied. "But to be held in someone's arms and told you are the only thing that matters in their life, and then to be kissed..." I let out a dreamy sigh.
"It has its moments," Raven agreed.
"Raven, what is kissing like?"
Raven fumbled for her soda. "What?"
"Kissing, what is it like? How do you do it? Surely there is more than to press your lips against another. There are many movies which so mouths being open and involve tongues."
"I'm not going to explain this to you. Ask Robin. Better yet, get him to show you."
"How?" I asked, curiously.
"I imagine going up to him and saying 'kiss me, you fool', would work nicely." She stared at me. "Boy blunder still hasn't kissed you?"
I sighed and shook my head.
I would have to be blind not to notice the looks Robin bestowed on me. I see. I have felt his gaze and at times it is penetrating. He watched me as I flew through the air. He watched as I battled criminals. He watched as I ate, or baked, or played with Silkie. Always watching.
He does not touch Raven's hands when he passes her pizza, but he touched mine. His hands lingered against my skin. He would smile at me, a quirk of his lips which would make my heart pound. He would place his hand on the small of my back when we walk together, just a little touch, it always left me wishing for more. When he taught me new fighting techniques, his hands lingered over my body as he helped me move and he would stand very close.
He would sit next to me so our knees touched whenever he played the computer games, or we had a movie night. He would brush shoulders with me when he talks to Cyborg. If he helped me out of the T-car, his hand would remain with mine before he remembered himself and took it away.
Sometimes, he would hug me, although infrequently. There were many times I would hug him, but it is the times where he initiated the hug that I long for. They always seem more special. He would hold still and wrap his arms around me and his breath lingered on my neck.
But he does not kiss me.
I always thought that after we were stranded, and we talked about our feelings for one another, he would start with the kissing. Indeed I found myself waiting, yearning. But that was nearly two years ago. Nothing between us changed. I was eighteen and I have never had the Earthen kiss.
I wanted him to kiss me. I did. I dreamt of his lips against mine. I wondered what he will taste like. I pondered where he will place his hands. Would he hold me tight? Would he lift me up? Would he be so happy that he would spin me in a circle?
"Well, why don't you kiss him first?" Raven asked.
I was aghast. "Oh, I could not," I said, flustered. "It is not acceptable behaviour. A female does not portray her interest in a male unless he has shown he is interested in her."
"That's on Tamaran. Here it is quite acceptable for a girl to kiss a guy first. Azar knows Beast Boy would never have found the courage."
I flushed. "I would not even know where to begin. I have never kissed before."
Raven raised her eyebrow at me. "Sure you have, you kissed him the first time you saw him."
"That was a transfer of knowledge," I explained. "If I kissed him like that, it would not be very romantic."
"Movies have ruined you, Star," she told me. "It rarely happens like that. Take some initiative."
"Surely you can help me," I begged. "There is a right way and a wrong way to kiss, yes?"
Raven sighed. "There is."
I discarded my pillow and knelt on the bed. "Please Raven," I said eagerly and fluttered my eyelashes at her. "Teach me kissing."
Raven sighed, again, more heartfelt this time. "Things I do for you," she mumbled. She unhooked her legs and knelt across from me. "Just do not ask me to teach you sex."
"Sex is universal, Raven," I told her. "I do not need to learn about sex, just the Earthen kissing."
She narrowed her eyes at me for a moment. "Okay, first thing to be aware of is your nose." She tapped her own to illustrate. "They're in the wrong place for a good kiss. You need to tilt your head slightly. You can either do that before you lean in, or as you lean in, but do it before you close your eyes or you'll bump noses."
I tilted my head. "Like this."
Raven sighed a third time. "Too much."
"Good." Raven shifted closer on the bed toward me. "Make sure you have good balance," she said. "If you're sitting like we are now, you need to make sure you won't lose it and fall on top of Robin."
I giggled. "He might like that."
Raven rolled her eyes at me. "I'm not teaching you how to jump Robin. Just kiss him. Trust me, if you kiss him first, you'll get enough practice you'll be an expert in no time. He's a time bomb."
I was alarmed for a moment until I remembered it was an expression. "First kisses on the movie often involve meaningful looks first, perhaps the touching of a cheek. Should I do that?"
Raven shrugged, "If you like. It's up to you. If you touch his cheek, you can hold him in place better and he won't run away."
I gasped. "He would run from me?"
"Well, if he hasn't kissed you by now, there must be a reason for it."
"Oh," I said, disheartened.
"It's probably a stupid boy reason though," Raven said dismissively. "Look, if you touch his face, you can coax him a little with your fingers, tug him toward you. Then it probably won't matter if you kiss him first."
"When do I close my eyes?"
"Azar, Star," she said, exasperated. "I don't know. As you're leaning in, I guess."
"I wish for it to be perfect."
Raven shook her head and scoffed at me with a smile. "First kisses never are. It's the second ones that count, first kisses are the icebreaker." Raven sighed. She reached up and placed her fingertips against my cheek. "Look, you're here. You're this close to Robin. When you lean toward him, it's a good idea to part your lips a bit."
I did as she told me.
"Lean in, tilt your head, close your eyes and—"
"That is so unbelievably hot, can I watch?"
Our heads snapped toward the door.
Beast Boy stood at Raven's door, his eyes and mouth wide. I have never been more embarrassed, but Raven… she got this scary glint to her eye. "Oh, good," she said and encased Beast Boy in her powers. "A test subject."
Beast Boy blinked as he was dragged over to Raven's bed. "A test subject?" he squeaked.
"Yes," she said, making him sit in front of her. She swivelled on the bed so she could face him. "Starfire has a kissing problem, you're going to help."
"I'm what?" he squeaked. "I don't wanna kiss Starfire."
Raven scowled at him. "You're going to kiss me, idiot."
"Oh. Well. Okay then," he said and puckered his lips.
Raven turned her head to me and gave me a look that said 'See what I have to deal with? And you want to try kissing.' She then rolled her eyes at Beast Boy. "Pretend you're Robin."
"Okay!" he said excitedly and turned sombre, pulling a stern Robin-type face. "I need to get in character; does anyone have one of his masks handy?"
"Without the commentary," Raven said to him, then addressed me. "Just watch. If you do something like this, you'd have Robin falling over himself to kiss you." She lifted one hand and placed it on Beast Boy's chest, then her other hand went to his cheek. Very slowly, Raven leant forward. She tilted her head, her eyes fluttered closed. Beast Boy gave her a dopey, puppy-like expression and he wilted toward her.
At the last moment before their lips connected, Raven pulled away. "See? Putty."
Beast Boy flopped on the bed, aghast. "Aww what? No kiss?"
"I'm not kissing you in front of Starfire," Raven said. "That'd be rude."
"But, but," Beast Boy spluttered.
I giggled at Beast Boy's expression.
"You just have to find the right moment," Raven told me.
I could not wait to try it.