Hello again my lovely readers! This is just a short story explaining what happened with Megan and Dean after Sam died. I hope you will all read this and love it, fingers crossed. Please go easy on this chapter. I was finding it hard how to start it.
For anyone who stumbled onto this one without reading my other stories, here's the order they go in: Black & White, Back In Black, Technicolour LIfE and now this, One Year. The stories focus on Megan O'Connor who is a werewolf, who fights along side the Winchesters.
*Disclaimer* I don't own Supernatural, just the original Characters. If I did, we wouldn't be reading this we'd be watching it and I would be very happy indeed!
When I was younger, way before I changed or met the Winchesters I always wanted an exciting life. One where I lived on the razors edge, battling monsters, saving people and living life to the full. When I changed, all I wanted was to be normal again. I hated how I stood out, how out of place I felt, even at home. Then I met Dean and Sam, and suddenly my life didn't seem so bad. Sure it wasn't the normal I had before all this started but I could cope. But when I dreamt, when I had dreams of being happy, I'd dream of living a normal life with Dean. How we're get married, have kids, grow old and live happily ever after...
At the time I thought it was just a dream. But things changed. Sam died, we stopped the apocalypse and, I guess most importantly Dean and I in our own ways promised Sam that we would live normal lives for him. It had been so long since I had a normal life that I nearly forget what it felt like.
But then again, I wasn't normal, was I? I was a werewolf, it was something I could never change about myself. It was a constant reminder to Dean of the world, the brother, he'd left behind. Being normal was hard, so hard... Dean and I would argue over it. At first we pretended it was ok. Sam was gone and I was a werewolf, but it was ok. We were normal. The cracks were there even back then. I just ignored them. But they got worse...
I was sat in the flat me and Dean lived in researching cross road demons. I had promised Bobby that I would help him break the contract with Crowley and I was going to stick to it. I had also thought about making a deal for Sam's return, but that plan had failed when I realised cross roads demons probably didn't have the power. I was looking in the file Sam and I had set up online. It was our very own supernatural wiki, it had every monster we knew about. The plan was, me and Sam would upload as much information as we could and then set it up on a website for other hunters to use. That was the plan before the apocalypse started. Now it was half finished; just another reminder of everything we'd lost. I clicked on the file named cross roads and started to read.
It looked like Sam had spent a lot of time and effort researching the demons. He had added notes to some of the files, talking about how he could use them to save Dean from Hell. Different theories of how to break a deal, examples of those who failed.
As I read them I remembered the first time I met Sam. I booked into a small motel and Sam and Ruby were in the room next to me. She was trying to kill me, I had her by the throat when Sam burst through my door, ready to shoot me. If I had killed Ruby then, would any of this have happened? I mused. I shook away the thought and continued to read. There wasn't anything that useful in the notes. I sighed and closed my eyes resting my head back against the chair.
"This is impossible." I sighed and then I herd the door click open. I opened my eyes and closed all the browsers as Dean walked into the room and smiled at me. He'd been at work, he'd got a job as a mechanic and wasn't actually that bad.
"Hey, how are you?" Dean asked dropping his coat on a chair and wondering over to me. I pushed the laptop away and turned to him smiling.
"Great. How was work?" I asked as Dean glanced over my shoulder to the note pad I had left uncovered. He read it and sighed. I mentally slapped myself for not hiding it.
"What are you doing?" He asked rubbing the bridge of his nose. Although we hadn't said it out loud, neither of us talked about hunting.
"Nothing." I replied covering up the pad and picking up my laptop.
"Megan, don't lie." He sighed looking into my eyes. I knew Dean wanted Sam back. I wasn't sure, but I was convinced somehow he was still searching for a way to get him back.
"You don't want me to lie? Don't ask questions you know the answers to." I sighed and walked past him to the bedroom. I herd Dean fallow me as I put my stuff away. I got the feeling this was about to turn into another fight. Lately that was what we did best. We were walking on egg shells, we both knew things weren't right. But we just continued to pretend.
"Why have you been looking up cross road deals and hell?" Dean asked leaning on the door frame. He was tired, I didn't have to look at him to know it. I could hear in his voice. I ignored him and continued to put my things away. I herd Dean sigh hard. "Answer me would you?" He asked moving over to the bed. I turned and looked at him.
This wasn't the man I married. The man I loved. I wasn't sure who this person was in front of me. He wasn't the Dean I knew that was for sure. This guy didn't joke any more, he faked smiles and laughter. This man, he had nightmares and screamed Sam's name in the middle of the night. This man was an empty shell pretending to be Dean Winchester. If I didn't know better I might have asked him to cut himself with a silver blade and prove his wasn't a shape shifter.
"I was looking up cross road deals to see if I could help Bobby and Sam." I said plainly.
"Megan." Dean said shaking his head. "I thought we'd left it all behind." He said standing up. I let out a sarcastic laugh.
"Left it all behind?" I asked shaking my head. "Yeah, cos I have the luxury of doing that..." I said and headed out the bed room.
"What's that meant to mean?" Dean asked raising his voice a little. I stopped walking and turned to face him. I felt a wave of anger and frustration hit me, my wolf side lapped it up.
"Dean, you forget I'm a freaking werewolf?" I asked and started to walk towards him. "I can't forget about being a hunter. I can't forget Bobby's soul is in the hands of Crowley, who for the record, wont give him it back. I can't forget that evil things are out there in the dark. I can't forget Sam is in hell." I said getting angry. Lately I found it hard to keep my emotions in check, especially anger. If my wolf got just the smallest sense of it, she was raring to get out.
"You think I've forgotten about Sam?" Dean yelled shaking his head. "You think I've forgotten my baby brother is rotting in hell?" He asked shouting. He was so mad. This was the only time I seem to get any emotion out of him.
"You tell me Dean?" I asked yelling back. He glared at me before smashing a lamp onto the floor. I jumped slightly as it smashed into small pieces.
"How can you ask me that?" He growled marching up to me, his eyes pure rage. I stood my ground, like an idiot, I stood my ground.
"You want to forget about it all! You pretend like Sam is in a better place! You act like I'm not a werewolf! You are pretending to have this normal life! Dean, look at yourself! You're just this.. this... I don't know what you are any more!" I yelled back into his face. "You scream out every night! You drink yourself to sleep!"
"Because I can't forget!" Dean said grabbing hold of my arms. "I can never forget where Sam is or what's happening to him! And there's not a damn thing I can do, because I promised him I'd live this normal life!"
"So that's it? You just going to pretend everything's ok?" I shouted pulling out of his grasp. "I can't pretend any more Dean!" I said grabbing my bag with my laptop in and walked out the room.
I walked to the local library and set up my stuff in a corner away from everyone. I sighed as my laptop turned on. Lately that's how our fights ended. I walked out before I changed. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself. As I calmed down a smell hit me. My eyes shot open and I scanned the room.
"I could have sworn..." I said getting up and looking around the library. I could have sworn I smelt Sam... After I checked the place out I went back to my laptop and decided to dive into some more research. I couldn't shake the feeling that I had smelt Sam. I thought in the end that maybe I was just being stupid. I didn't want to face Dean and I didn't know what else to do. As I logged into the site I noticed a file with my name on it. I clicked it open and it was a text document from Sam.
"Megan. If you've found this file it means you've been on this site too much to have a normal life. I knew you probably wouldn't be able to manage, but I hope Dean is still. If he is and you plan on leaving him I need you to ring this person Lisa Breaden. The numbers at the bottom. Tell her Sam told you to call. She will understand.
Megan, I'm so sorry I forced you to be normal. I know how hard it is pretending your something your not. I hope, some way, you and Dean manage to fix things. I meant it when I said I thought you two were meant to be together.
I re-read the note a few times and sat there in shock. I knew I had been having a rough time with Dean, but I half hoped it was because he was grieving. But he had been grieving for months now. I didn't blame him, I understood. But I also understood that me, being me the way I was, meant I was a constant reminder of everything that had happened. I glanced down and saw the bite scar on my forearm. I'm a big fat bill board for reminding Dean Sam's in Hell. How can he move on with me around? Maybe Sam's right... maybe I need to leave. I pulled out my phone and called Bobby.
"Singer residence." Bobby said plainly.
"Bobby, it's Megan." I said softly.
"Girl, you ok?" Bobby asked, his voice lightening as he realised it was me.
"Bobby I need to come stay with you." I said staring at the note in front of me.
"Why? What's happened?" Bobby asked sounding worried.
"I need to leave Dean. Me staying around... I just remind him of everything we've lost." I said softly.
"Girl are you sure that's the best thing to do?" Bobby asked concerned. I re-read the note from Sam again.
"Yeah Bobby, I'm sure." I said softly.
I got back to the flat and couldn't see Dean around anywhere. I took it as a small blessing. I grabbed my duffel bags and packed everything I owned up. As I grabbed the keys for my Camero I herd the front door open and smelt Dean walk in. I took a deep breath, grabbed my bags and walked out into the living room. Dean stood there and looked at the bags.
"So, you're leaving me too?" He asked coldly. He didn't even seem surprised.
"Dean, all we do is fight." I said dropping my bags by the door. I didn't want a fight with him, I just wanted to help him move on with his life. I wanted to be able to save one Winchesters life.
"Not all the time." He said and sulked over to one of the chairs in the kitchen. I fallowed him and stood the other side of the counter.
"Yeah, there's the times when we're asleep." I said sarcastically with a small laugh. Dean looked up into my eyes. The green I loved was dying, and I was helping to kill it. I looked away and took a deep breath.
"Megan, please, don't leave me." Dean begged, his voice was broken. I turned to him and held his hand giving him a sad smile as my own emotions started to get the better of me.
"I love you, but I can see it in your eyes," I said as a tear rolled down my cheek. "I can see it. How much I remind you of how much we've lost..."
"Megan, please..." Dean said but I pulled my hands away.
"I can't stay. You can't possibly move on with me around reminding you; and I could never ask you to." I said and pulled my wedding ring off my finger. Dean shook his head as I put the ring into his hand. "You need to move on alone Dean. You need a clean break from all of this... even me." I said and walked out the kitchen picking up my bags.
"I love you!" Dean said as he raced to catch me before I walked out the door. I stopped dead and turned to face him, tears silently falling down both our cheeks. Dean rushed up to me, pulling me into a deep kiss. The kiss was wanting, begging me to stay, but it was so sad, at the same time. We pulled apart and Dean wiped my tears away with his thumbs. "I will always love." He whispered looking into my eyes.
"I will always love you too. But... I've got to do this... I've got to." I said pulling out of his warmth, out of his touch, back into the cold reality. Dean nodded softly.
"I... I know." He stepped back and took a deep breath. "Where you heading?" He asked as I pulled the keys out of my pocket.
"It's probably best if you don't know. Keep safe Winchester, and remember, if you ever need anything, anything at all... I'll be a phone call away." I said softly before I hitched my bag up on my shoulder. Dean nodded as I turned and walked out the flat.
I was at least a days drive from Bobby's and the way I was feeling I needed the space to be alone. I drove until I started to feel tired when I pulled into a small motel around 3 in the morning. I dumped my bags on the bed and pulled out my phone. I dialled the number and waited for someone to pick up.
"Breaden residence." A woman answered sounding sleepy. I forgot how late it was and kicked myself for calling so late.
"Sorry I know it's late, but is there a Lisa there?" I asked softly as I sat on the bed.
"Yeah, I'm Lisa, who is this?" Lisa asked sounding confused.
"Um... Sam Winchester told me to call you." I said not really knowing who she was, or why Sam wanted me to call her.
"Is Dean ok?" She asked worried.
"Um yeah... yeah as much as he can be." I said softly.
"Thank god. Um who is this?" Lisa asked sighing with relief.
"I'm a friend. Look, I'm not sure why Sam wanted me to call you, but if you can help Dean. I think you should see him." I said trying my best to hide the emotion in my voice.
"Sam's... dead right?" She asked hesitating over saying Sam was dead.
"Yes, he died." I replied getting up and pacing the room.
"So Dean's alone now?" Lisa asked.
"Yeah. He could really use someone who wasn't mixed up in all this. I'm guessing this is where you fit." I said running a hand through my hair.
"Yeah... Sam... he asked me to be there for Dean. He dropped by my place a couple of months ago and told me Dean might show up. Said if he did Sam would be dead and Dean would be wanting to make a fresh start way from hunting. He asked me to take Dean in." Lisa explained. My heart sunk a little. Sam had a back up plan, that much didn't surprise me, but a back up woman... yeah that was like a kick in the teeth. But then again, Dean deserved a normal life, and if she could give him it who was I to argue?
"Can you do that then? He needs a family... normality." I explained softly.
"Yeah sure, sure I can." Lisa paused. "Can I ask how you know Dean?" She asked. I paused and thought about it.
"He saved my life, now I'm returning the favour." I said and hung up. She didn't need to know Dean's wife, sorry ex wife was calling her. Dean didn't need to know I was calling.
I put the phone down and instantly felt the sting of fresh tears. I curled up on the bed and sobbed to myself. I'd just left the love of my life to help him have the best life he could have. I knew it was a good thing, the right thing, but it didn't take away the heart wrenching pain I felt. I wasn't sure anything would take away this pain. I just had to keep telling myself it was for the best. Dean deserves a normal life, Lisa can give him a normal life, he deserves to be happy... I cried myself to sleep, Dean's green eyes fixed in my minds eye as sleep called me away.
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