Don't Call Me…That

by Molly Raesly

A/N: For Lilyflower98 because she asked.


"All right, Evans?"

"Yes, thank you."

"What? You aren't going to ask me how I am doing? Why, Miss Evans, I'm surprised at you. Where are your manners?"

"Taking a vacation along with your self-respect."

"Unwarranted, Evans. Let's try that once more with civility."

"What's it going to take to get you to leave me alone, Potter?"

"That's a bit closer, but I'm not entirely sure you've got the pleasantry down."

"What do you want, Potter?"

"You mean besides an endless supply of treacle tart, my own chocolate frog card, and you to finally admit the undeniable chemistry between us?"

"You have approximately four seconds to spit something out before I backhand you for that last one."

"Simmer down, Evans. I was just wondering if you caught the match yesterday."

"Yes, I did. I was very glad we won, though the chasing was a bit weak."

"But I scored eight goals!"

"I'm sure you'll do better next time."

"Okay, okay. I get it. Next game I'll score ten goals for you."


"You know, most birds would be pretty excited about that promise."

"Well, Potter, I am neither excited nor a bird."

"Aww, Evans, you're always so cross with me. You need more excitement in your life. I didn't see you at the after party. We had loads of food, and Sirius snagged some firewhiskey. Why didn't you show?"

"I was otherwise occupied."

"That's code for you're not going to tell me, isn't it?"

"Don't you have other people to annoy, Potter?"

"Ah, Red, don't be that way. You know you're my favorite person to rile up."

"Lovely. I have finally achieved my life's goal – that was sarcasm, Potter. You can lower the eyebrow. Oh! And don't call me 'Red'."

"That is your hair color."

"Would you like to be called 'Black'?"

"Ugh, no! There'd be terrible confusion. Besides, I've met Sirius's mum. Not a family I'm looking to get into. Well, see you around…Red."

A/N: Hola! No, this is not my last Lily and James. That's coming out this spring. Severus. I'm just doing this because it's the very last idea on my very crinkled post-it from six years ago when I jotted down fic ideas. I'm going to be updating these drabbles all throughout the weekend and Monday, that day, well, you know.

And yes, I do realize it's entirely dialogue. It's a stylistic choice. It's also a way to avoid actual plots because I'm a busy college student.