A Waffle By Any Other Name Is Just As Sweet And Savory
"You took down the smoke alarms, right?"
"Do you really think I'm that stupid?"
"No, I was just double checking."
"Sure you were, Seth."
"What are you guys talking about?" The Clearwater siblings jumped at the voice that sounded from behind them. Whirling around where they stood they came face to face to with a very worse-for-wear looking Caroline.
"Nothing!" The siblings managed to blurt out in perfect synchronization, the effect not lost on them.
"We were just taking precautions."
"Making sure we don't die."
"You can never be too careful."
"Especially with smoke and flammable cooking." Caroline rolled her eyes in exasperation and sidled up closer to the pair blocking her view of the kitchen; from her spot behind Leah she could see Sue Clearwater happily darting around with various bowels and utensils.
"Your mom's making waffles." She deadpanned, her gaze never leaving the wannabe chef in her so called 'environment'.
"Yup," Seth sighed somewhat tragically as he wound an arm around his girlfriend's waist, "she's making waffles."
"Kill me now!" Leah groaned as her head fell sideways onto the door jamb she was propped up against. The three watched in angst ridden silence as the stove was turned on, ingredients were whipped out of the cabinets, and a small kitchen radio was tuned into a local station.
"Something's going to be burning, soon, huh?" Seth, Cee, and Leah looked over their shoulders into the living room where the first signs of life were starting to take place. Wads of blankets began to move as the bodies beneath them stirred while pillows were thrown unceremoniously off to the side.
Embry's head was popped up over the back of the sofa as though he were emerging from a war bunker.
"Obviously!" Leah snapped quietly. "You all just had to spend the night!"
"Hey now," Embry countered with a yawn, "we haven't seen them two in forever, so this was a necessary gathering!" He exclaimed incredulously with a finger pointed towards the younger of the two Clearwaters and his imprint.
"Yeah, just like these waffles are going to be a necessary evil we'll have to suffer through!"
"Alright, children…" Caroline sighed with a hand held up in either direction of the two arguing teens, "I've already got this taken care of."
At this there was a collective gasp as the heads of Collin, Quil, Paul, and even Brady shot up around the room.
"What are you talking about, Cee?" Seth questioned, his own face shocked at his girlfriend's statement. "What do you mean?" The girl in question waved off his words as she unlatched his arm from her waist and crossed over to the other side of the room where her abandoned back pack lay. She rummaged around in it for a few seconds, aware of the roomful of eyes on her the whole time, before turning back around with a triumphant smile.
"Aha!" Caroline exclaimed while waving around a folded up piece of paper in her hand. She made her way back over towards the kitchen and gave her boyfriend a light peck on the cheek. "Watch and learn, laddie!" And with that she crossed the hall, the apparent river flowing between the two rooms, and progressed even further into the enemy territory of the kitchen.
A scrambling of boys and flailing of limbs followed in her wake as the La Push gang assembled in the doorway to see what was happening.
"Caroline! What a surprise; I didn't expect you to be up this early!"
"Oh, well, I was actually hoping to catch you before breakfast got in full swing." The boys and Leah exchanged various looks amongst themselves as they strained even further to hear what was happening.
"What can I help you with? Do you have a request?" Seth didn't need to see his mom to know that she was most likely bouncing in glee at Caroline's words.
"Actually, I do. I found this online the other night and tried to make it, but it didn't come out right…" There was a crinkling of paper followed by Sue's humming of 'hmmmmm' as she read over whatever it was she had been given.
"It looks like a recipe!" Collin hissed from his position on the floor where he was laid out flat on his stomach and peeking around the doorjamb leading into the kitchen.
There were unsure glances around.
"Well this seems easy enough! Maybe you didn't measure out right?" Seth and Leah exchanged a look at this; there mother had no room to talk.
She never measured out anything.
Maybe that's why everything burned? There was always too much flammable stuff to be considered edible.
"Well I was wondering if it wasn't too much trouble you could try? They looked really good online, and I was hoping if you got them to work out then maybe I could take another whack at 'em."
"Of course, Caroline, they do sound delicious! Why don't you go see if the others are up and I'll see if I can work these out!"
"Great, Sue, thanks!" Paul grabbed at Collin's ankles to pull him back and out of the way as footsteps sounded closer towards the doorway. "Maybe I did measure something out wrong, so be careful! Those instructions seem tricky! " And with that Caroline emerged back into a view, her face one of pure victory.
"What did you just do?" Seth practically hissed as he grabbed at his girlfriend and hauled her back into the living room and the apparent fort of sheets, blankets, and pillows.
"What did you give her? It wasn't anything too hard, right?" Leah asked with eyes darting back towards the kitchen.
"Please say there's chocolate involved!" Embry whined, actually down on his hand and knees and in full on puppy-dog pout until a painful looking slap to the back of the head from Paul had the teen sprawled out face down on the carpet.
"Guys, guys, guys!" Collin threw himself into fray. "We just need to calm down here and see what happens!"
"Yeah, really," Quil added with a few frantic nods, "whatever Caroline gave that woman has got to be better than what we would normally be getting." Seth frowned at this and relinquished his grip on his girlfriend slightly before turning to face his sister, who stared back at him evenly before nodding and getting up to leave the room.
"Where do you think you're going?" Paul whisper-yelled, effectively stopping Leah in her tracks.
"Why? Sit the fu—"
"Oh ye of little faith!" Caroline sighed in annoyance as she pushed off her boyfriend and motioned for Leah to come back and sit down in their little pow-wow. The older girl obliged, albeit unwillingly, and plopped down unceremoniously into the circle.
"And you all say I freak out." Caroline huffed as she pulled Collin closer and latched onto him in a sideways hug. "All I did was give her a recipe for waffles."
"WHAT?" Caroline smiled deviously at the collective exclamation from the group and rested her head further onto her human pillow's shoulder.
"Lemme get this straight," Embry started firmly, "you gave that woman – in there," he jabbed a finger back towards the kitchen, "a recipe for waffles?"
"Pretty much, yeah." Cee shrugged, still smiling as though she had her own little secret.
"Why?" Seth practically pleaded while trying not to look put-out as his girlfriend snuggled up to one his best friends who he knew was more like a little brother than anything else. It still hurt to watch, but that was apparently what he got for grabbing so rudely at her.
"Haven't you guys ever stopped to consider that maybe she doesn't know what she's doing?" Caroline questioned the group; blank stares were her only response. "Have you ever noticed there's never a cook book out, or a measuring cup, or something?"
Still nothing but saucer plate eyes.
"You all really are hopeless."
"I don't get what you mean." Embry deadpanned from his spot between Quil and Leah.
"Think about it, you dumbass," Paul threw cushion across the circle, "what she's saying is that Sue's been free styling this whole time."
"Ohhhhhhhh!" Realization dawned not only on Embry, but everyone else.
"So you mean she really has no idea how to make waffles?" Quil asked, his mouth still forming an 'o' from where it had fallen open.
"But…" Everyone stared at Leah, "how…how have we not noticed this?" She questioned, shooting her brother an incredulous stare.
"Dunno," Seth shrugged, "I guess we just always assumed she was usin' some family recipe or somethin'."
"Jesus you all are idiots!" Caroline grinned from where she had sunk even further into Collin's side.
There were ashamed nods everywhere.
"Well good morning!" Embry let out a rather unmanly squeak as Sue's voice sounded from the entranceway; the others merely jumped slightly and turned to look at her. "Did you all sleep good?"
"Everything was great, mom." Seth smiled weakly along with his frantically nodding sister.
"Great! Well I have some breakfast ready; Caroline was nice enough to share a new recipe with me!"
"Awww, but I was soooo looking forward to your waffles!" Collin pouted after receiving a sharp poke in the side from Cee that clearly meant he was supposed to play along.
"I know, but maybe next time? See how you like these things first; they're some sort of French creation!" And with that Sue retreated back into the kitchen and the group turned their gazes back to Caroline.
"Trust me on this, guys, just eat the damn things and you can thank me later!" She rattled off as she fought to stand from the pile of pillows they all seemed to be sinking into. Collin half pushed her upright while Seth tried to grab at her arm to steady her while the others scrambled to get up themselves and trekked behind their fearless leader into the kitchen.
"Holy shit." Paul stopped dead in his tracks, promptly causing Embry to run into him which then started a shoving match, which then pulled Quil into the fray to try and sort it out, which then made Leah grab at both Paul and Embry's ears which ended the small dispute almost as quickly as it had started.
"Wow, mom…" Seth stared at the table before them, his mouth hanging open in shock, "those things look awesome!" And just like that the group of boys (and Leah) surged forwards towards the table to grab greedily at the piles of fluffy, golden waffles. Caroline looked on in amusement as Seth fought his way back towards her and offered out one of the pastries in what seemed to be a peace offering.
"What'd you say these things were?" Collin asked, obviously still playing along as he shoved as many as he could into his mouth at one time.
"I don't know," Sue looked over her shoulder from where she stood at the stove making more, "the recipe calls them 'gaw frees' or something." She waved with her spatula before turning back to the task at hand.
Everyone looked to Caroline for an explanation.
"It's French for waffles." She mumbled out from behind her hand, all while shifting sneaky eyed glances at her someday, maybe, hopefully mother-in-law; she was kind of stuck with the Clearwaters at this point.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!" Embry and Quil high fived one another while Collin jumped valiantly up and down in an attempt to get back the waffle Paul had stolen right out of his hands. Caroline merely shook her head as Seth once again wound his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. Leah sidled up from the other side.
"Have I told you that I love you?" He asked with a smile and a kiss to her cheek.
"And have I told you that I forgive you for making me shove one of those ungodly 'waffles' down my shirt last year?" Leah questioned around her own mouthful of food while slinging an arm around Caroline's shoulders, causing the younger girl to laugh.
"I believe you've already made that very clear," Cee grinned at Seth before turning towards Leah, "and I believe you threatened to kick my ass if I ever mentioned that again."
"…oh…"The older girl blinked, "well anyways, you're forgiven!" And with that Leah jumped back into the Epic Waffle Free for All of 2011 and impressively pulled Embry into a fearsome head lock when his hand barely grazed her boob when reaching for another waffle.
Some things would never change; thankfully, Sue's waffles weren't one of them.
A/N: So I hoped you guys liked this one! I know I did! :D
Expect an update for 'The Show' sometime this week; I'm on spring break, so hopefully I'll be able to get caught up on some things around here. Thanks for all the reviews and comments still coming in for everything; you all are great!
And also I'm still pimping this tumblr speech – I've already gotten some anonymous questions this weekend, so check out my tumblr page to see if anyone's asked something you want to know!
tazioparrish . tumblr . com
(*remove spaces and different username, but still me!)