Sorry. This came to me in another drunken haze. I had five drinks with the ladies a bit ago and felt the need to relax and write. I can only do that late at night when I'm all alone which isn't often. Someone once told me "Write what you know." And something like this happened recently. Sooooo…I applied it in a pleasant way, unlike the actual experience. Hell, I'm just shocked I can still type and coherent enough to post…lol. Thank God for spell-check.

….

Spencer was so immersed in the file he was working on, he nearly jumped out of his skin when his workstation land line rang. It never rang. After staring at it as if it were an alien life form, shrieking at him in some foreign tongue for several long moments, he remembered himself and plucked up the receiver.

"Reid."

"Don't say my name."

"Garcia?"

"I said don't say it!" She squealed in his ear

"Oh. Sorry."

"Some genius! Did he hear you?"

"Who?"

"The most perfect male specimen to ever grace the planet Earth, who else?"

Spencer glanced in Morgan's direction.

"No. He's lecturing Prentiss."

"Lec- wait, isn't it your job to lecture us?"

"I do not lecture. I simply inform."

"Teach is a synonym for inform and lecture a synonym for teach so really it's just-"

"Did you need something?"

"Oh. Right. I just wanted to share something with you."

"What?"

"Something about our mutual co-worker, choco-licious, male, hunk-o-burn-"

"Garcia!"

"I said don't say my name! I don't want him to know it's me."

"Then if you have a point I suggest you get to it."

"Fine! You're lucky you're cute, because even if you don't deserve it now, I'm going to risk life and limb for entertainment here my darling little brain dumpling."

"Was there an answer to my question in there somewhere? I couldn't tell with all of the disturbing visuals. And why are you calling me on my-"

"Shush! Just trust me boy wonder. This is gonna be good!"

"Wh-"

"Just go stand near him and I'll show you."

"Show me what? Gar-"

"SHHH!"

"I don't have time for-"

"Reid, do you remember that hideous shirt you had on in your senior year book photo? Or your dated 70"s mop top for that matter? By the way, were you a Buddy Holly fan?"

"How…why would you…ah…okay…getting up now."

"Good boy. Just leave the handset off the hook and casually move next to him and wait."

"Wait for what? You're really starting to freak me out."

"SHHH! Just go!"

Spencer set down the phone as instructed, and made his way casually toward Morgan and Prentiss despite the growing anxiety caused by being blackmailed into following the orders of one Penelope Garcia. This was definitely not in his job description. He'd thought hunting killers had been hazardous, but working with the sparkly, blonde (this week) fiend was proving to be one hell of a…his thoughts were interrupted when he heard the music. No sooner did he realize its origin was Morgan's pants than he saw the confused look on Emily's face and the wide-eyed panic on Morgan's as he thrust his hand into his too-tight pocket to stop the sound. After much struggle, a phone popped out and…

"One mile to every inch of your skin like porcelain.
One pair of candy lips and your bubblegum tongue…." The phone sang, as Morgan fumbled and dropped it.

"Is that a-a ringtone?" Spencer asked trying to hide his amusement at the uncharacteristic tune emanating from the device.

Prentiss wasn't as polite, having laughed so hard tears rolled down her cheeks even as Derek jumped and spun toward the newcomer beside him.

"I, uh, I just….." He stammered scanning the younger man. Then… "PENELOPE!"

"Your body is a wonderland…Something 'bout the way your hair falls in your face..." The phone continued as the two laughed openly at Morgan's plight.

"You gonna get that?" Spencer snickered even as Derek bent and snatched up the object in question, storming toward Garcia's office in a huff.

"What was that?" Prentiss managed to get out between gasps for air.

"A botty call, apparently." Reid scoffed.

"Did you just say 'booty call'?" Prentiss asked wide-eyed with a visible shiver.

"Yes. Are you cold?"

"Yeah, I think Hell just froze over."

….

A short time later, after a very miffed Derek took off toward the elevators, Spencer made his way to Garcia's lair and knocked to verify her status as one of the living.

"If you came back to sulk some more I've already told you-"

"It's just me."

"Reid, I hope you appreciated it because that was one angry puppy."

"I didn't even know he used those things." Spencer chuckled.

"Mmm…it was a shock to me too." She said sipping her Big Gulp. "He keeps it on vibrate at work."

"So what did he do?

"Mostly yelled and pouted-"

"No, I mean what did you blackmail Morgan with for him to set that God-awful ringtone for you?"

"God-awful? I'll have you know that was John Mayer's 'Your Body is a Wonderland'! It's a beautiful song and it just so happens-"

"It's a shameless, flagrant invitation for a night of sexual gratification and a poorly veiled tactic of achieving said goal under the pretense of complimentary appraisal of ones physical attributes delivered by a soothing voice and lulling tone to distract from the singers obvious, insatiable appetite for the woman of the hour, thereby luring in affection starved, romantics desperate to feel desired and I honestly can't believe that you would…"

Garcia just grinned at him and took his hands, slipping something into them.

"What's this?"

"Your phone."

"You took my phone? That's theft! That's fraudulent! Not to mention a complete invasion of privacy and total lack of…wait...you had…so you called from…then that was my…"

"Would you like to hear the entire song now?" Garcia giggled at Reid's sudden flustered state in the wake of dawning realization.

Spencer just stood there looking like he might spontaneously combust as a barely audible squeak escaped his throat.

"Is that a no?" She quipped with a tilt of her head.

Spencer turned and fled from the room.

"Go get him tiger!" She called after him, leaning back in her chair, another job well done.

Sometimes even geniuses were a little slow on the uptake.

….

Okay, so, I might regret posting this later, but, my senses are all wonky and at the moment I just don't care. That's why I'm about to do a stupid thing and let you tell me if you want to know what happens next. I must admit that it would contain Reid's analysis of the afore mentioned song…but it could work as a one-shot too. WHEEEEEE! I like fuzziness. I wish I had someone to hug. Oh look, a tree….