Alright, time for another chapter of Moomba Days!
Disclaimers: Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy and Disney do not belong to me; the idea of Leon as a Moomba is primarily Katy's, otherwise known as Org. XIII is better than the Akatski, and I'm only using it.
Plus, I came up with quite a bit of it.
By the way, how Yuffie cooks is pretty much how I do.
So I have experience in this area; DO NOT PUT EGGS IN THE MICROWAVE.
Seriously! It's not fun cleaning that up!
When Leon woke up the next morning, he immediately notices something strange.
There was an oddly familiar odor spreading through the air.
Something that smelled like it was… burning.
Leon sits up quickly and pounces out of his makeshift bed/the couch to run into the kitchen.
There was only one person in the house that had been personally forbidden by both Aerith and Cid to ever step foot in the kitchen with the intent to cook.
'YUFFIE! YOU BETTER NOT BE-' Leon meows as he skids and nearly smacks into the fridge in his hurry.
Sure enough, there was the over-excitable ninja wearing one of Aerith's flowery aprons and currently staring at a carton of eggs with an extremely puzzled expression on her face as thick, black smoke starts curling up on the ceiling.
"…Uh, I'll just stick 'em in the microwave! If you can't cook 'em, radiate them!" Yuffie decides as she snatches up a few of the brown eggs and puts them into a plate inside of the microwave, shells and all.
Leon glares at her before pouncing on her shoe and nearly knocking her over.
'What do you think you're doing, Yuffie?' He demands, yowling at her mentally.
Yuffie looks down in confusion before grinning at the little Moomba and crouching down on her knees to his level.
"Hey there, Leon! I'm in charge of makin' breakfast today. How am I doin' so far?" She asks with an immensely proud grin on her face as she waves her hands at the gigantic mess that she had somehow managed to do with only a carton of eggs, a jug of milk and a box of dollar store brand cereal.
Leon, needless to say, was utterly speechless.
'Yuffie… you amaze me. By how much of an idiot you are.' Leon says to himself as he slams a paw into the button that would make the microwave door open.
"Fire! There's a fi- Leonhart, did you let her in the kitchen?" Cloud shouts as he skids in, the fire extinguisher clutched in one white-knuckled hand.
'You really think I'm that stupid?' Leon glares at him disdainfully as all of a sudden, the fire alarm installed on the kitchen ceiling starts going off, blaring loudly with a high-pitched scream.
That's when they noticed that the smoke wasn't coming from the microwave; it was coming from the pan on the stove.
Cloud starts spraying the lit stove with the fire extinguisher, putting out the small fire in a matter of seconds.
"HEY! It was almost done, Spike! Whatcha do that for?" Yuffie says angrily as the blonde and the Moomba sigh in relief, looking around at the half-destroyed kitchen to see if there were any more fires.
Luckily for them, Yuffie hadn't touched anything besides the stove, fridge and microwave. And the fridge was still intact.
After he finished surveying the battle zone, Cloud turns his gaze back on the furious Yuffie. The blonde scowls at the ninja before picking up the now blackened pan from the stove.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He demands as the alarm suddenly goes off again, this time smoke was coming from the fridge.
'How did… I don't even want to know.' Leon thinks to himself as Cloud struggles with the extinguisher again, spraying a long jet of foam and nearly cracking his skull on the counter as he goes flying into one of the cabinets.
The ex-SOLDIER skids across the room and finally collapses on the floor, looking about twenty years older and seriously pissed off.
"Well, I'm gonna go… do the laundry now! Bye guys!" Yuffie says as she quickly unties the apron from her waist and starts marching quickly to the door.
'And I'll help you!' Leon agrees, jumping off the counter and following Yuffie silently.
"DON'T. YOU. EVEN. MOVE." Cloud snarls and Yuffie and Leon freeze in their tracks.
Cloud looks up at the trashed kitchen and smirks in a way that instantly has the frozen duo in shivers.
"Yuffie… where the hell is Aerith?" He demands in that calm voice.
"Uh… she went to another world with Cid and Merlin to see if they could get an herb to cure Leon." Yuffie mutters in a freaked out voice as Cloud stands up and glares over at them.
Leon shrivels down behind Yuffie's legs from Cloud's intensely angry glare before he realizes something.
'…Wait, I didn't even do anything!' He growls at Cloud, making the blonde stop glaring long enough to put down the fire extinguisher.
"And… she left you in charge?" He asks Yuffie, holding his hand out for the note that would probably say otherwise.
Yuffie looks guilty as she pulls out a crumpled piece of paper. The second that she shoves it into Cloud's hand, she bolts for the stairs, leaving Leon and Cloud alone in the room as the noise of the door to her room slamming echoes down the stairs.
"… And of course, I'm in charge. Ugh… We nearly lost the house again." Cloud groans as quiet footsteps signal Yuffie's return.
"Cloud? Can me and Leon come patrolling with you again?" Yuffie asks in a soft voice, looking a little embarrassed.
Leon looks up at Cloud, daring the blonde to say no with a perfectly aimed Moomba glare.
"Fine. I don't want you two alone in the house anyway. … You'll probably burn it down again. And stop looking at me like that, Leonhart!" Cloud snaps, picking up the extinguisher and putting it on the table.
"This is great! Leon can have another shot at the Heartless!" Yuffie cheers as she runs to the front of the house for her shurikens.
Leon groans and hides his face in his paws, wincing in pain at the wounds he got from the last time he went patrolling as a Moomba.
"This is gonna be a long day." Cloud groans, slamming his head against the counter.
So it was about an hour later, the not so cheerful trio was outside.
Leon was miserably following along in Yuffie's shadow while Cloud was up ahead, trying his very best to pretend that he didn't know them.
"Mommy, look at the kitty!" A random toddler squeals as they pass by him, instantly making Yuffie giggle under her breath.
'I'm a MOOMBA, kid!' Leon snarls, getting ready to pounce on the little boy but Yuffie grabs his tail before he could even move a step further.
"Bad cat! Bad Leon!" Yuffie snaps as she whips out a spray bottle and sprays a jet of water into Leon's face.
The effect was instantaneous.
Leon lets out a loud howl and slams his head into the nearest hard surface: the curb.
Yuffie stares at him as Leon starts rubbing his face with his paws, looking as if she had just sprayed him with battery acid instead of just plain water from the tap.
'AAAAAAH! MY EYES! MY EYES; IT BURNS!' Leon screams but the only sound that came out of his mouth was a long squeak of agony.
"Oh my god, we found his Kryptonite." Cloud says in a suddenly happy voice as he snatches the water bottle from the startled Yuffie's hands and smiles diabolically at Leon who stares at him in horror.
'Oh no.' Leon says to himself before bolting down the street, running as fast his little Moomba legs could take him even as Cloud starts chasing him.
'No no no no no no NOOOOO!' Leon screams as he dodges a spray of water from Cloud's demon spray bottle.
"Hold still, Leonhart! You need a bath!" Cloud snickers as he jumps over the curb and starts chasing Leon in the street.
"Cloud, you better leave that... Cat… lion… whatever he is alone!" Yuffie screams furiously, chasing after the blonde with her shurikens.
Leon rushes past a pair of legs and into the nearest building.
Cloud meanwhile, slams into the owner of the legs: a police officer on duty.
By a chain reaction, Yuffie slams into Cloud, which in turn makes him, knock the officer over.
"Hey, Leon, come back!" She shouts as Leon quickly vanishes from view inside of a small shop.
"… Would you two mind getting off of me?" The officer snarls, shoving Cloud off him and then glaring at them.
"We're very sorry, officer. But did you happen to see where that cat… lion… whatever he is went?" Yuffie asks in a sincerely worried voice as Cloud helps her up and then helps the officer.
The officer jams his hat back onto his head and then squints in the direction that Leon went for a moment before turning to glare at Cloud.
Cloud immediately flinches away; he didn't have many good experiences with the police.
"Was that YOUR cat, sir?" The rookie demands in an icy voice, pulling out a small notepad as he speaks.
"Hell no, he's not mi- OW! Yes, sir. He's mine." Cloud whimpers in mild pain as Yuffie steps on his foot and quickly makes him lie.
The officer shakes his head, rips out the piece of paper he'd just been scribbling on and hands it to Cloud.
"First off… Radiant Garden's got a leash law. You gotta keep all your pets on a leash and they all have to have a collar." the officer states as Cloud stares in horror at the ticket.
"WHAT?" Cloud screams in anger, instantly thinking that the ticket was Leon's fault.
The officer rips out another paper and slaps into Cloud's hand.
"Second off; disturbing the peace. It was quiet until you came along, bucko! You have a good day now." The officer snaps angrily as he marches off, straightening his clothes as he goes back to duty.
"I hate you, Leon." Cloud whispers venomously as he crushes the paper in his hand. Yuffie puts her hands into the small of Cloud's back and starts pushing.
"Come on, Spike! We can still find 'im if you'll just hurry your… ass… up!" Yuffie snarls, shoving Cloud in the direction of the various shops that were scattered around the Marketplace.
Meanwhile, Leon was hiding under the counter of the shop he had run into.
'Damn that…. Stupid blonde!' Leon shivers violently from the memory of the nasty, cold water and sneezes.
"Hmm? What are you doin' down there, little guy?" A young sounding voice asks from above but Leon just scoots farther back under the counter so the owner of the voice couldn't pick him up.
'N-Nothing to see here, kid! You just move along now.' Leon mews, trying to influence the shopkeeper to leave him alone.
Unfortunately, the kid didn't get the mental memo.
"Come on, now! No need to hide under there! Hmm… She said to grab 'em by the scruff of the neck… but this is an emergency!" The kid's voice says as Leon suddenly feels a sharp pain in his hindquarters as the kid manages to grab Leon's tail.
"There we go! Hey there, little guy!" The kid says with a big grin as he drags Leon out and looks at the upside-down Moomba.
'You are so lucky that I can't carry my Gunblade anymore.' Leon growls as the kid puts him gently on the counter.
"Wow… you're a big kitty, aren't you?" The kid says in a baby voice, instantly pissing Leon off.
Leon bares his fangs at the kid and was just about ready to bite him when the door slams open and two very familiar people (one of which looked seriously angry) walk in.
"There's a pet shop here?" Cloud asks in irritated confusion as Yuffie looks around and her gaze instantly locks onto the Moomba.
"Don't ever run away again, you stupid cat!" Yuffie screams as she runs to the counter and picks up the Moomba in a tight hug.
'Good timing as usual, Yuffie. Get me the hell out of here.' Leon requests as Cloud wanders over to the counter and picks up a pamphlet.
"Hmm. 'Leash laws and you.'" Cloud mumbles to himself as he starts reading the folded bit of paper.
"Hey, what kind of cat is he?" The shopkeeper asks curiously as Leon makes a snorting noise in annoyance.
"Well, we're not sure yet. Thanks for takin' care of Squall! I-… I mean Leon." Yuffie corrects herself when the Moomba in her arms glares at her.
"Hey, how much is one of those cat collars and a leash?" Cloud asks as he eyes the small piece of faux leather with a malicious grin.
'Oh no. Cloud, what the hell are you doing?' Leon shrieks mentally as Cloud pulls off a certain leash from the rack.
"Hold still, Leon." Cloud tells him as he grabs Leon by the scruff of his neck.
"…Uh, what the hell did you idiots do today?" Cid asks in a disturbed voice as Leon glares up from the corner.
'Shut up! Don't you dare say anything!' Leon snarls as he hides his face in his paws again, feeling a burning sensation around his neck from the collar that he'd been forced into.
Cloud, as he had been for the last few hours, starts snickering to himself as the small bell attached to the collar suddenly rings out loudly.
Aerith puts down her basket of dried herbs and looks over at Yuffie to explain.
"Um, we learned some stuff about Leon today!" Yuffie says in a chipper voice, smiling innocently as she kicks the spray bottle behind the couch.
'Nothing good ever comes from being around you two.' Leon snarls as Cloud starts shaking from laughter again.
"He…he… doesn't like water." Cloud chokes out in laughter, immediately falling down to the floor, struggling to breathe.
Leon flinches at the mention of this new weakness of his and the bell rings out again from the sudden movement.
'GAAAH! That's it!' Leon goes berserk, struggling to rip out the annoying bell.
"And apparently we have to get Leon some tags." Yuffie continues with a shrug, obviously not knowing what that meant.
'Stupid… bell… get offa me!' Leon growls as he yanks at the collar viciously with his claws, sending the cheap bell ringing like crazy.
Aerith picks up Leon who immediately stops fidgeting long enough for the woman to take off the collar.
She looks at the bright pink material and turns her head away for a moment to choke out a laugh.
'Oh great, even Pinkie's laughing at me. Thanks a lot, Spike.' Leon mutters to himself, grimacing in embarrassment.
"Okay, Cloud. You're never gonna be in charge anymore. And if you try anythin' again, I'm gonna kick both of your asses!" Cid snaps crankily as he starts going upstairs, muttering angrily to himself.
Leon starts droning out as Aerith starts talking to Yuffie, both girls speaking in somewhat hushed voices.
He's pretty much asleep when he suddenly hears this:
"Then it's settled; tomorrow we're going to the vet." Aerith says.
This subtle statement immediately has him frozen in fear.
Vet meant veterinarian.
Veterinarian meant doctor.
Doctors meant only one thing.
"Alright! It's gonna be needle time, Lion boy!" Cloud cheers as Leon starts shaking like a leaf.
This was not going to end well.
Ah, I love the next chapter.
Katy gets most of the credit for that one though.
Cause I don't have a cat and I don't know squat about pet medical exams.
So, see ya next time in: Leon Goes To The Vet!