Why oh why OH WHY?

I must be losing my mind. Then again, imagining Seras as a biker chick is not too far a stretch. Integra would make a pretty cool biker chick herself. And Alucard in a biker's uniform is just….melt-worthy. xD I will explain about the title and subject as this chapter is over. Enjoy!


Seras Victoria: Road Rasher

Chapter 1: Crash Course

How the hell was it that she was stuck with only her Hellsing uniforms and NO OTHER DAMN CLOTHES?

Seras rummaged through her dresser drawers, desperate to find clothes other than the Hellsing uniform and the underwear to go…well….under it. The fledgling cursed under her breath as she realized how much of a disadvantage it was to only have uniforms and no semblance of casual wear, much less pajamas to sleep in. The coffin was too damn cold at night! Not to mention creepy and dark and a myriad of other reasons.

She gave up at trying to piece together a reason to try and find another article of clothing, opting to go for her long, pink coat to go outside in, with her uniform under it of course. She had received permission from Sir Integra to go and walk out tonight and get away from the stuffiness of the Hellsing Manor earlier, so she just walked out the door without so much as a protest. She had picked a great time to as well, with Alucard usually dead and gone asleep at around noon anyway. She chuckled to herself at her anecdotal thought as a piece of paper flew by and stuck to her face. Pulling the piece of paper off her face, it read:

"Rashers, meet under the bridge and follow for the meeting of the race rendezvous. P.S. Natasha, you left your glove in Badrick! Contact Slater to get it back."

"Rashers? Who on earth are they?" The Police Girl asked herself. Looking up, she noticed she was by a bridge and a congregation of people in motorcycle uniforms and their respective motorcycles chatting amongst themselves. Taking a chance, Seras stepped toward the group, keeping quiet as she listened in on their conversations. Very few of who she could hear sounded local, most of them had a strange accent. American perhaps? Yes, that was it!

"Man, I am TWEEKIN'. Once I see Dread, I'm taking his club and bashing him in his head."

"You just rhymed just now."

"I told you I am TWEEKIN'!"

"Slater, cool it. Damn. Hmm?" the young woman talking to 'Slater' looked up, taking notice of the newcomer to the congregation under the bridge. "Hey there! Can we help you?" the woman asked, making Seras jump a little. "Oh! Uhm, no. I….saw this." she held up the piece of paper containing the information about 'Rashers.' The young woman smirked as she gently took the paper from the vampire's fingers. "Oh yeah, huh. Need to throw these things out properly." As female biker spoke, she pulled out a lighter, clicking it on and proceeding to burn the meeting note. "So! I take it you are curious as to what we do." the biker extended a gloved hand to the Hellsing operative. "I'm Manon. Everybody calls me Mannie though. Hell-Dog calls me 'Man Man' just to irritate me, so don't listen to him."

"Seras. Seras Victoria." she replied, reaching her hand out and shaking Mannie's. "So…what is this that you do?"

" Well, have you ever heard of drag racing?" A nod was her reply. "Welp, what we do is the same thing. Only difference is we use motorcycles, and can fight our opponents off their bikes." This information was VERY new to the fledgling vampire. Drag racing? With MOTORCYCLES? "Is…Is this…?"

"Not in the slightest. That's why I burned the note of the rendezvous. If we got caught, fines would be out the ass for all of us. And hell, our passports would probably be suspended for doing this." Mannie answered the question before it could come out, taking a hair band and pulling her strawberry blonde hair back into a low ponytail. "To get in on this is free, you just gotta sign a contract saying you won't tell the authorities about what is going on. Not to mention, you gotta fork up money to get your first bike and-do you know how to ride a motorcycle?" Mannie stopped to ask the crucial question, to which she got a blush and a brisk shaking of her head. The rasher sighed heavily and shook her head in disappointment. "Until you learn, you can only watch, you can't participate."

"I do hope it's not TERRIBLY hard to learn how."

"Depends on how fast you can pick up on stuff. If you learn fast, then it's like slicing a piece of cake with a hot knife. If not, then…." Mannie trailed off, letting her body language of a shrug finish her sentence. "A lot of the guys on the circuit are real jerks, but me, Natasha and Slater are cool people. I'm sure Slater will help you, once he stops TWEEKIN'." Mannie yelled out the last word, earning an intelligible reply from the person in mention as Mannie laughed. "Just ask him, I'm sure he'd be more happy to teach you."

"Thank you very much, Mannie." Seras smiled. "Now I have one more question. What happens if you win?"

"It's more like if you 'place.' The higher you place, the more money you earn. First place in the beginners circuit is usually 750 bucks per route. Or…." Seras could damn near SEE the wheels in the biker's head turning as she tried to translate it into British Pounds. "About 469 pounds."

469 POUNDS? Sera's girlie gear kicked on as her mind raced to how many clothes she could buy with that much money! Several sets of nightwear, more underwear, decent casual wear, a new jacket-

"That's also accounting on if you DON'T crash or get caught by the cops. Them sons of bitches like to lay the fines on THICK for speeding. Anyway….do you wanna learn how to do this?" Seras contemplated her options. "Before you answer that, take this into account: are you willing to get injured and get road rash, as well as most likely sustain bruises from being hit by other bikers if they try to knock you off your bike?"

Oh HO, so there was a FIGHTING element to this game as well? And if she beat people off their bikes, she could earn first place faster? The answer was cemented as she nodded her head vigorously. "I'll have Biff draw up the paperwork then."


When the fledgling came back to Hellsing Manor, she had gotten a crash course in learning how to ride a motorcycle as well as signed the contract to keep the races as private as possible. "We rarely do anything international, but Ikira and Sergio have a few correspondents in Japan and Italy respectively. So the committee figured why not be inclusive to the other contacts?" she remembered Mannie and Slater telling her before she left. And with even more good news in pocket, she could not help but get a small spring in her step as she went through the halls. "Ah, Miss Victoria, what has you in such a good mood?" Seras turned to see the butler Walter walking in front of her with a tray of tea and scones for Sir Integra.

"Oh, well….apparently I am getting a gift from someone. A very helpful gift." the grin on her face almost rivaled Alucard's psychotic grin as she thought of the shiny motorcycle she was going to receive. Slater had owned it when he was in the beginner's circuit, and figured it could go to a good home. All it needed was a quick tune up and a polish and it was as good as hers. A dubious look crossed Walter's aged features as he wondered what gift it was that would have her in such a good mood. Sure she was surprised when she received the Harkonnen, but this was a different matter entirely. She was…giddy. "Well, do enjoy your future gift, Miss." he said at last, walking past to make his delivery.

Once Walter had closed the doors to Sir Integra's office. Seras made a small squeak of joy and jumped up to click her heels together. Money was as good as hers! Shopping spree here we come! she thought as she headed back to her room.


CHAPTER ONE FINISH! Explanation time!

if you look up "road rash" on Google, it gives you two things:

One being the condition from a fall on a motorcycle [and how to treat it], and;

The other being about a video game from the 90's. Lemme tell you, it is AWESOME, even for its difficulty. The only original character in this story this time is Mannie. The other names are legitimate names in game. The story will be following the game guidelines as best as I can get them.

Read, review and tell me what you think!