A u t h o r ' s N o t e:

I was writing this story while writing Sightless so I am sorry that its getting out soooo late. This was supposed to be included as my many Christmas gifts to you all D: Plus, in this story, Lelouch might seem a bit OOC. But his personality has changed for different reasons. But Ill try not to change him toooo much D:But if you guys really like Lelouch doing some slutty things. O3o oh youll love this!

And I really really did try to make this story funny D: hopefully it didn't come out all corny. If so, I apologize.

The Song being played in this chapter is:

"Take a Dirty Picture" by Taio Cruz ft. Ke$ha

This story is a birthday/Christmas gift to my most awesome beta reader and good friend: Hantar~ This is for you dear ^^

P.S. Im sorry if Lelouch seems OOC for this chapter. But I promise, he'll be bakc to his normal self in the next one ;D enjoy.

[This hasnt been beta'd yet so sorry]

~Review! Review! Review!~

-S e x. S t r i p e r s. a n d. S t i l e t t o s-

-C h a p t e r. O n e –

-"C l u b Z e r o"-

It's been two years since our favorite eleven has dated the one and only, Lelouch Lamperouge. The relationship had been a happy one; with both parties barley having any will power to separate from one another unless it was necessary. And so with this was;the romantic dates, the steamy tutor sessions, and hell- Suzaku had even got lucky a few times.

But you see, that was kind of the problem. Plus it was also the same reason that ended up splitting the two love-sick puppies apart. Sex.

You see, Lelouch had basically given Suzaku the eleven his v-card to cash in, (and boy, did Suzaku try to spend that baby up to the last penny!) but naturally, the raven-haired teen was worried that the eleven wouldn't be as quite interested in him any more, and so he would wait and stall Suzaku for about a month before they ever did it again. Each Time.

And being a sex crazed hormonal-teenager as he was; Suzaku had to make two new best friends that who could give him a hand during those 'wonderful' breaks of abstinence: Righty and Lefty.

Anyways, about a year and in-half into it, on graduation day while at a big party, while being drunk out of his mind, in a bedroom with an equally intoxicated vixen- Suzaku cheated on Lelouch in one the most vile ways a person could ever cheat on their partner by.

But to make matters even worse, it was with Lelouch's younger half-sister that he despised the most out of his entire family- Euphemia.

And in the morning after that little shin dig, Lelouch came up to the Ashford Mansion to pick up the passed out eleven , who he had been informed by Gino that his lover had never left the party last night and accidentally stumbled upon Suzaku and Euphy trying to go another round.

So when Suzaku finally noticed their teary spectator at the door, he jumped out of bed and rushed over to Lelouch to try to explain but-…..let's just say, that the pist-off britain kicked Suzaku's family jewels so hard, that the eleven almost had to call the jewelry store to get them repaired.

So now, 2 years after that little sex-scene scandal, we find a 20-year old, lonely university student by the name of Suzaku Kururugi, sitting with us now.

While eating a bowl of fruit-loops, the eleven was currently doing what he had always been doing on Saturday mornings since the day after high school graduation- watching cartoons. In fact, he did this on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays! Plus any holidays or breaks that he got from school or work.

"Suzaku, I'm really sick not being able to hang out with you without watching these stupid kid shows" said Suzaku's classmate, room mate, best friend, and co-worker: Gino Weinberg.

"No one's making you, Gino" sighed Suzaku as he took up the remote with his free hand and flipped the channel on to cartoon network that was currently playing 'Tom and Jerry'.

A few seconds past before the eleven busted out laughing at the comedic scene being displayed of Tom being dressed up as a flirtatious girl dog so he could distract the big bulldog who was protecting Jerry.

"Man, I swear they don't make cartoons as good as they used to be!" exclaimed the curly brunette.

"Hey, what do you think your doing!" yelled Suzaku, as Gino grabbed the remote from the eleven's side and turned off the television.

"That's it! I've got an idea!" said the blonde out of glee. "Why didn't I think of this sooner?…and to think it came from one of your stupid shows!"

"Gino, you must be high to take away Lelu!" roared Suzaku, taking back his precious remote control or so called 'Lelu'. "Now what the hell are you talking about?"

'That's sad that he's made a name for his remote….and it's even off Lelouch's!' thought Gino. He waited till the eleven put his bowl of finished cereal on the coffee table before tackling him to get 'Lelu' away from him.

"Ahh! Gino, gimme him back-"mumbled the defeated eleven, who was now being suffocated by the blonde's strong arms in a headlock. The blonde didn't let go until he heard the noise of the remote control hitting the wooden floorboard. He grabbed 'Lelu' up in one swoop and ran to the other side of his and Suzaku's small living room.

"Nuh uh uh!" said Gino, waving an index finger. The eleven raced over towards him in intentions of retrieving his beloved 'lelu' before the blonde pushed him down to the ground.

"Sorry Suza but this is for your own good….Now, I have a surprise for you, and if you don't agree to go with me to receive it then 'Lelu' gets it!" ordered the usually bubbly one of the two as he pulled out a random lighter and striked it, letting the flame be a few inches below the butt of 'Lelu'.

"NO!..god damnit..ugh fine then!"

"Dude, don't you think this is the reason I never go outside with you?" asked Suzaku, now dressed up in casual clothes that he would wear to class rather than the pair of sweats he had recently wore earlier that morning.

"Awe come on! I love this van…and I don't see you having a driver's license mister!" retorted back Gino. The pair was currently riding in the blonde's old blue mini-van to the secret destination that Gino wouldn't tell.

"Touché, now where are we going?"

"Just wait and see my friend! Oh your gonna love me!" squealed Gino with an exhilarated facial expression to match. Suzaku just rolled his eyes and looked outside the window at the passing cars and observing how they soon started to decrease in number as they continued going down the highway.

It wasn't until they passed a sign that read 'Shinjuku Ghetto- 5 miles away', that the eleven started understanding what his brittianian friend meant to take him.

"Turn back now!" yelled Suzaku.

"Why?" asked the blonde.

"The only things down here that still running are the secret brothels and whorehouses…take me back now!" barked the japanesse male.

"Oh no, were not going to those places Suza, I just wanted to take you to this little strip joint I know of that's down the street", replied the britain.

"As if I would go into-"

"-Suza, for once in a long time, I want you to have a little fun…so please?" pleaded the blonde.


Suzaku, who was now going to go along with his best friend's little 'surprise', gazed out the window once more at the busy street of the red-light district. His lips curved downwards at the flamboyant worker girls and guys who were bustling around out on the curbs while selling their 'product' without the hint of modesty. But what made the eleven even angrier were the expensive BMW's and limo's that stopped for the muslin company.

And that, the thought of the same brit's who took away everything from the japanesse, who now have to belittle their morals and to whore out their own children to those same men that took everything away from them was just….disgusting.

After a few more minutes of traveling down the road, they eventually came to a stop in front of a huge warehouse. The two stepped out of the car, locked the door of the vehicle, and began walking up to the noisy building in silence. Suzaku looked up to a neon-purple-lit sign that read 'Club Zero' in japanesse.

"This is it!" Gino announced before skipping towards the entrance of the club. The japanesse college student sighed in response before he too made his way up to the front door.

Standing by the front door of the facility was a gigantic, dark-skinned man dressed in a black suit and tie, wearing a pair of black shades was guarding the door. And even though the sight would express the words 'back off!' to any normal individual it was clearly a welcoming presence to the exception of Gino Weinberg.

"Big 'B'! My dog!"

The blonde basically ran up to the beast of a man and exchanged some sort of gang hand shake with the other man that was unknown to the eleven. After completing the homey grip, the two swapped a quick hug before the man called 'Big B' moved out of the way for Gino and Suza to enter.

The blonde just waltzed right inside while Suzaku just followed him in nervously. Inside, it was set up almost like those type of modeling expo's you would see in a magazine; but with instead of models on the rainbow-colored stage there was strippers. And replacing the spectator in the crowd's who usually sat at foldable chairs In the audience were just clusters of old men scattered around the room, sitting at circular-shaped, leather booths.

The spacious room was currently booming with the loud music of a new track being played, while the performers began to move onto stage and started to dance to the beat. Suzaku tried to block out the old men's yells and cheers by just listening to the lyrics of the song as him and Gino tried to make their way through the crowds of men and exotic dancers.

I could dream of ways to see you
I could close my eyes to dream
I could fantasize about you
Tell the world what I believe

Gino eventually spotted a bar that was set in the corner of the room and pulled Suzaku along before they both took their seats. Feeling more comfortable, the eleven thought that this would probably be the best time to ask a certain question he wanted to know the answer of from the blonde.

"How in hell did you know that guy and where did you learn how to do that?" he asked in pure curiosity.

"Hahaha….you really don't need to know" replied Gino with a smile. The thing that scared Suzaku the most about the blonde's reply was that he really did have a serious look in his bright blue eyes.

Turning in his seat towards the counter, standing right in front of him, was a petite male who had a pretty face and figure just like Lelouch's. The only difference was that this man seemed to be a bit older and had auburn-colored hair and cerulean eyes that had nothing off Lelouch's purple ones.

"Hi, my name is Kanon; what could I get ya?" asked the calm beaut as he started to straightened his black bow tie. Unlike the many other workers, he was wearing a regular white dress shirt, bowtie, and long black pants. The bartender began to pull out two martini glasses from a cupboard before turning back to look at the honorary britannian.

"Would you gentlemen like a Maldini? It's my special mix!"

"Uhm, sure. Two please" answered Gino as Suzaku just starred at the bartender in confusion.

"Pardon me but…shouldn't a chick be doing this?" asked the eleven, as the Maldini-maker spun back around at the remark.

"Sir, you do know this is a male strip club, right?" Kanon counter-questioned, with a bit of an attitude hinted in it.

That's when Suzaku spun back around towards the crowd of dancers on stage that were dancing around pant less while others did so on the poles.

"Gino! What the hell!" Suzaku shouted as he punched his friend in the arm harshly.

"Hey! I thought you only into the dudes because of Lulu" countered the blonde, now rubbing his injured arm.

"I'm fucking pansexual!" the eleven yelled back; loud enough for a few dancers and customers to over heard and gave the eleven some strange looks before returning to their business.

"Then it shouldn't' matter then".

"I guess your right", mumbled Suzaku while he took a swig of his martini.

"Of course I am, so just relax and enjoy yourself bud!" said the joyful blonde before taking a swig down of his whole glass in one go.

But whenever I'm not with you
It's so hard for me to see
I need to see a picture of you
A special picture just for me, yeah

The eleven turned in his seat to face towards the shown on stage, finally getting comfortable in the new upbeat environment before he spotted a certain stripper that was walking towards his way.

The exotic dancer was dressed in a pink playboy bunny costume, complete with black netted stockings, 14-inch high stilettos, white bunny ears and tail, makeup, red fake nails and (randomly) a black leather color with a dog tag attached to it. But it wasn't the costume that stuck out about the dancer; it was his long ebony hair that flowed all the way down to his slender waist while his black bangs fell on top of his face in a familiar hairstyle the eleven knew of. It was his ivory-colored skin, beautiful pixie face, slender legs, and those alluring, vibrant –strangely familiar- violet eyes that seemed to even glow in the darkly-lit club without a problem.

Then the eleven recognized those same lust-filled, half-lidded purple eyes that would look to him from below in his dreams and memories.

"Shit" Suzaku whispered.

So take a dirty picture for me-
Take a dirty picture

Emerald orbs studied those long, milk-white legs, which moved almost in a spell-binding pace, off that lean body that could only belong to his ex-lover and old flame- Lelouch fucking Lamperouge.

Just take a dirty picture for me-
Take a dirty picture

And in a flash, those same deep purple eyes met with the other's bright green ones as if it was fate.

Just send the dirty picture to me-
Send the dirty picture

The blonde noticed the eleven's attention was somewhere else but his drink and decided to see what had captivated his best friend's interest.

"Dude, is he that hot that you have to gawk- Oh Shit."

Just send the dirty picture to me-
Send the dirty picture




"Hey cutie" said a huge, dark-colored man with bleached blonde hair and beard. Lelouch, not noticing the man's comment, was soon pulled harshly into the man's lap without a moment to spare.


The raven-haired dancer was blushing like crazy as the man started to trail his coursed fingers against his spine. "Please..stop it," Lelouch slurred, as his eyes starred back into the man he was currently straddling, but ended up being ignored as the older male grabbed a handful of the brittan's ass which made Lulu squeal in surprise.

Snap, uh.

"What the hell is that guy doing!" growled Suzaku, who was about to pick up his empty glass to throw at the man before Kanon moved it out of reach.

"Are you talking about the guy Raven is all over?" asked the bartender while pointing at Lelouch.

"More like that guy is all over 'Raven' then the other way around" added in Gino.

"Who the hell is that anyway?" asked the eleven.

"That's the black king, he's a V.I.P here" answered Kanon while emerald orbs gawked in agony at the obviously drunk or high Lelouch, who made small protest to the black king as he tried to push him off but ended up being hugged tighter around the waist.

"Feisty, aren't we?-" growled the customer in a tone that attempted to be seductive.

"Stop it" murmured Lelouch as his small pushes seemed to be useless on the other. The he made a high-pitched yelp when the black king began to rub against his clothed groin with two ringed fingers.

"-But it's alright; I like'em frisky!"


Suzaku, now itching to give Lelouch's costumer a good lick for every time he brushed his fingers against inappropriate areas on the barley conscious Lulu, was making him go insane.

"Can he just basically sexually assault him like that?" whined the eleven as he balled his hands up into a fist at his sides while they twitched every time Lelouch made a moan.

"Well, as long as you don't rape them you can basically do anything here if you're a high-paying customer or a V.I.P," Kanon replied while preparing another drink for the pair.

"That's awful" Gino whispered in response.

Blue eyes turned towards the eleven who looked like he was about to jump out of his seat at any moment, before returning his gaze back on Lelouch and his costumer.

At the moment, the black king was saying something to his group of body guards, that Suzaku and Gino couldn't make out. After telling his men whatever he said, the giant beast of a man rose up from his seat at the booth and had Lelouch hugging his fat waist as if he was a little kid holding onto his father

"Come on cutie, let's go have some fun" he purred into the shorter male's pink-tinted ear.

Emerald orbs shined out of spit at the man's words and Suzaku jumped off the bar stool in response. The eleven ran up to the man, with Gino following behind, before both of them were stopped by the black king's guards.

"Let go of me!" shouted Suzaku at the men.

The dark-skinned britannian walked away with Lulu; barley even noticing the japanesse. While on the other hand, Lelouch made hazy eye contact with worried green orbs before being rushed up a hidden staircase in the back of the club.

It made Suzaku's heart almost break at the look that was shown through the other's eyes.

Pain and hurt, but with a tinge of hope still left.

Click, Click


Gino tried to pull back his livid friend until the black king and lulu disappeared upstairs before his hand was slapped away by that same friend.

"Let go!" Suzaku yelled, mostly out of frustration, as he began walking back over to the bar. Gino exhaled nosily in return as he trailed behind his friend. Taking his bar stool,

Suzaku asked Kanon, "Where are they taking him anyways?".

"Well it looked like they were taking him to the Knightmares"

"What are those?" they asked in unison.

"That's where the dancers go take their customer to have a bit more private funfor a higher cost," retorted the auburn-haired bartender.

"But that's illegal!" barked Suzaku, slamming his fist on the bar counter.

"Well the boss doesn't care here, and really only the desperate dancers go back to the knightmares" commented the ginger. The eleven's green eyes dropped down to his martini, after grabbing a straw, and started stirring the alcoholic beverage in a childish manner.

"Is 'Raven' one of those types-"

"-Yeah, he and this guy named Rolo are the only ones" interrupted Kanon.

'Shit!...Lelouch, what the hell has happened to you over the last two years to make you do this type of thing?' Suzaku internally asked before taking another swig out of his second drink. His rotated in his seat back towards the crowd of men, as the stage was now clearing and a new set of dancers began to come on stage.

"It's almost closing time you two" Kanon announced as he started to button up his brown leather trench coat. It had been a whole hour since Lelouch and the black king had entered the knightmares .

Suzaku, still sitting at the bar with a drunken Gino, sprung out of his seat at the words and started heading towards the hidden staircase. The sudden noise of the eleven's bar stool made a drooling Gino wake up and look around for his friend.

"Suzaku?" he mumbled.

"I'll be right back Gino, oh and Kanon-" the eleven said. He began to pull out his wallet and brought out 60 dollars before handing it over to the bartender.

"Thanks so much for your help, and keep the change".

"Thanks, have a good night" Kanon replied as stuck some of the money in the cash register and some into his pocket. After turning off the lights in the bar the auburn-haired male walked out of the club and disappeared out of sight.

"Now stay here, I'll be right back" reminded the japanesse to the blonde, who agreed with a lazy nod. Suzaku then began to jog past the many filthy but empty booths and up to the ascending staircase.

Up the stairs was a very long hallway, filled with many closed doors scattered around.

'How am I supposed to find him in here?' he thought to him self. Luckily, a group of men began to exit out one of the many doors and out came a familiar large man that the eleven had become acquainted with downstairs.

Suzaku ran down the hallway towards the men, while some of the guards were distracted talking to their employer.

"Where is he!" the eleven shouted, turning his head to look around in the crowd of men for his precious lulu.

"Do you mean the cutie? He's taking a little nap inside" chuckled the black king, as some of his mean sniggered along with. The eleven's cheek went bright red as his exterior began to produce a dark aura. Suzaku pushed one of the guards to the wall ruthlessly, trying to make his way towards the room.

"Boss, should we go after him?" asked one of the black-suited men.

"Oh no, leave him be. I got what I wanted anyways" replied the black king, as he men nodded in unison before they all started to continue walking back towards the exit.

The eleven brushed off the crowd of men and opened the door that was previously closed by Lelouch's customer. The room was only a dark purple walled room with hot pink fuzzy carpet, and a plain futon lying on the ground. And the inhabitants within the room?

Laying on the futon was an unmoving and bruised Lelouch Lamperouge. His costume was torn to pieces, only leaving the bottom half of his satin underwire corset still intact so that it was covering his manhood. His stockings were completely shredded, one of his shoes was missing, and his usual neat hair was a tangled mess. But what made the eleven's stomach churn the most was the sticky white substance that trailed down his legs, chest, and black-and-blue lips. And scattered across him was a dozen of 100 dollar bills everywhere.

"Lu", whispered Suzaku as he stepped across the room, taking in the very image of the hickey-covered dancer slowly. He knelt down to the ground steadily while brushing back a piece of the raven-colored strands off Lelouch's still face.

"I'm sorry I let this happen" murmured Suzaku to him self. He looked over his former lover to a jumbled mess of white sheets. He reached over the raven and grabbed the sheets before wrapping the scrawny body of Lelouch into it so that only his head and feet were showing through. After packaging the britain up, and picking up the bills of money and stuffing them into his pocket, Suzaku held the thin body in his arms before rising up from the ground.

Lelouch made sounds of unknown gibberish as the eleven carried him bridal style all the way down through the hallway, downstairs, and into the front of the club. Suzaku walked over to Gino, who was still taking a nap at the closed bar and made a loud whistle to wake him up.

"Ah, Suza- whoa, is that Lelouch?" asked Gino, rubbing his sleepy eyes to see if he was seeing correctly.

"Yeah, now let's hurry out to the car before they completely close up" whispered Suzaku. Gino nodded and rose up from his seat before he followed the japanesse out of club zero.

The threesome made out to the van without getting caught, and the blonde took the driver seat while the eleven sat in the back with Lelouch in his arms.

Once settled in their seats and the car's ignition starting up, Lelouch began to nuzzle his head into the warm chest that was named Suzaku. The eleven blushed at this, looking down at the peaceful face of his first love and studying the bags under his eyes, it seemed that he hadn't gotten a good rest in days.

"Sleep, will be home soon" the tired eleven spoke softly into the raven's ear after kissing it gently. And in a few seconds, they both did exactly that.

So how do you guys like it so far? I really did love making Gino seem super Gangster 8) maybe because Gino is gangster? Haha.

And Kanon Maldini….Maldini..Martini? Had no one ever thought of how similar those words are XD I actually thought that was his name when I first saw him [ he and Schneizel are too cute o3o] But yeah, poor Lulu~ D: But don't you still kind of love it?

Hehe, now I have 2 questions for you all[ you can awnser 1 or both]:

"Why do you think the private rooms are called 'knightmares'?"

and "Who do you think is 'Big B'? He's actrually in the anime so I didnt make him up"

It's not because I was trying to make a random code Geass reference either xD haha. The awnser will revealed in the next chapter. Well- Until then :D