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The content herein is mine and my first attempt at ff writing.



I couldn't believe I'd forgotten…

"Fuck!" I cursed out loud, rushing through the hospital as I headed to the parking lot. Kicking my car into gear and hightailing out of there like a bat out of hell.

Damn it…how could I forget our anniversary?

As I attempted to weave my Aston Martin quickly through traffic, I cringed at the thought of anything happening to it - or getting caught speeding – and praying my dad wouldn't find out.

After all, he had gotten me the car as a graduation present after completing medical school. He knew of my love for fast cars and thought it as being the perfect way to congratulate me.

But this all pales in comparison to my first love, Jasper….

Even after all these years together, the thought of him still has my heart racing and my body responding as if no time had passed at all. We'd known each other for over fifteen years and have been married for nine – well ten as of tonight – out of that.

After stopping off at a 24hr mart and picking some flowers (fake...Of course!) Also I got him some chocolate knowing how much he loved anything chocolate. I made it home safely and in one piece despite the daredevil driving I put down to get there.

I knew these things I had just bought couldn't compare to what I would have given him if I had just remembered, but still I hoped he would see the kind gesture behind them and find it in him to forgive me.

With a heavy sigh, I got out of the car and made my way to the elevator.

Inside, I mentally psyched myself up for whatever came next. With a sigh, I got out and made my way to our door.

Here goes

"Hey baby, how was your day?" I tried as I made my way inside noticing him on the couch, book in hand.

"Fine…" he says nonchalantly without even looking up from whatever interested him on those pages.

I tentatively made my way over to him and decided to just jump right in.

"Listen… babe… I am so sorry for being this late. I know you probably had something in mind for today. I swear to you, when I took that shift I completely forgot about what today was. Jasper, I'm such an ass for this. I just remembered now so I got home as fast as I could to see if maybe we could still do something if you wanted to," I babbled out as I placed my gifts on the table in front of him and looked at him apologetically.

Finally… he looked up at me, closed the book, looked at the clock on the wall and got up.

"At two in the morning?" he asked looking at me in disbelief before letting out a small chuckle.

"Listen, I just wanted to make sure that you got home safely. I'm heading to bed. Good night," he said, walking away toward the bedroom without a second glance at my pathetic gifts and leaving me standing there in shock.

I stood there for a second before going to the kitchen to grab a couple of beers and headed back to the couch.

I plopped down and chased down two beers back-to-back thinking how badly I'd fucked up.

I would have pissed as hell if he had done that to me. God…he looked so disappointed when he passed me, so sad.

"How do I make this up to him?" I mumbled to myself running my hand through my hair in frustration wondering what he had planned for us earlier on.

I sat there for a while just thinking about us and couldn't help going back to that summer that had brought him into my life.

I can still remember the first time I laid eyes on him…

It was a Saturday, middle of summer – a sunny one at that – which was rare in Forks. I was seventeen and just broken up with my boyfriend, Felix.

But, wouldn't you if you caught him and his presumably straight friend going at it like rabbits?

So here I was in my room, my music wasn't helping and the more I laid here the more I thought about Felix's betrayal. I thought maybe heading outside to shoot some hoops would help a bit.

As I made my way downstairs, I heard some voices coming from the living room. It looks like my mom had some people over.

Thinking that I could sneak by without her noticing me, I was astonished when she called out for me to come and meet the new neighbors.

I swear that woman has eyes in the back of her head.

I wasn't in any mood to be sociable, but I was not about to deny Esme and face her wrath. With my head held down, I headed over to greet them.

When I finally looked up I was greeted with the most gorgeous blue eyes I've ever had the pleasure of looking into….

He was so handsome…I couldn't speak.

Clad in faded blue jeans sitting on his hips, hands in his front pockets and a fitted white T-shirt that held his broad shoulders and rode up enough for me to catch a glimpse of the perfect "V" on his hips and rounded off with cowboy boots stood the hottest guy I ever seen.

Felix who?

I stood there in stunned silence just gawking at the beautiful boy in front of me.

"Hi there, I'm Jasper Whitlock, and this is my mom Pat," he said, extending his hand for me to shake but all I could do was stare at him.

Thankfully my brain started to function enough for me to get out:

"Umm...I'm Edward Cullen, welcome to the neighborhood," I said, taking his hand in my own. It felt so good I hardly wanted to let go.

"Well, um...I've gotta go," I mumble out nervously before making my way out.

After that greeting, we saw each other a couple of times. We would wave hello to one another, and had a few one-on-one sessions of basketball over at my house while mom invited him and his mom over for dinner a few times.

Through our time spent together, we got to learn a lot of things about each other such as our likes and dislikes in music, books and movies.

We discussed where we would like to go to college, which schools were the best bets for us, and so on. The worst topic was what it would be like when the summer was over.

During these conversations I got to know quite a bit about Jasper and his past.

His parents had just been through a terrible divorce and that's what prompted the move for him and his mom.

His dad was an abusive, overachieving businessman. Who bullied him and his mom around a lot. Jasper said nothing was ever good enough for Whitlock Sr. His mom had finally had enough and through some very good threats, got her divorce and a hefty sum to start over elsewhere.

"It's as if we never existed to him," he would sometimes say with a hint of sadness in his voice.

Every thought he decided to share with me, I listened to, and every time I saw him I fell for him a little more.

It was hard sitting there listening and looking at him and trying to convince myself not to pounce on this unsuspecting boy with the wavy blond hair and beautiful blue eyes.

Damn… It was hard. And I mean that, pun intended.

The fantasies that would plague me were something else.

Like what those lips tasted like, how they would feel against mine?

How his hair would feel under my fingertips?

How those lips would feel wrap around my cock?

I would forceful snap myself back to the present. Because I didn't know if he was gay. He probably had some girlfriend he left behind and would kick my ass if he knew how I felt about him.

Believe me, I've gotten wrong before and vowed to sure next time.

But fuck me, if endless nights weren't filled with erotic dreams about Jasper spread out naked across my bed like a beautiful buffet just for me.

We'd start off slowly kissing, nipping, licking, just becoming familiar with each other. I'd suck on his neck, whispering how good it feels to be so close to him and what I wanted to do to him. Our hands would roam all over each other's body until they went where we want them the most. We'd firmly grip each other's cocks, giving them firm strokes until we finally received the pleasure we were seeking but it wouldn't be enough for me as I had to see his hard length. I wanted to taste it, and feel my lips wrapped around it, sucking in earnest.

These dreams would always lead to cold showers and another frustrating day of hiding my feelings from him.

I couldn't take it anymore, I had to say something.

Every time I saw him, my heart would race, and I couldn't complete a full sentence without stuttering. It was sweet torture.

The opportunity finally came the week before school started, We were having one of our usual conversations and I couldn't figure out what he was saying because I was so transfixed by his mouth and the way his lips moved and was trying so hard not to grab him and kiss him.

However, when I cleared my head a bit, I finally made out what he was saying.

Apparently, he was talking about his old man and how he wasn't pleased to learn about a particular secret his son was carrying. This perked my interest, and before I knew it I blurted out. "What secret?"

He began mumbling and taking up an interest in some imaginary thing on the ground. So I pushed…

"What secret?" I pleaded. "What did he learn about you?"

"It's okay, I swear to you, I won't ever repeat it," I said, trying to reassure him.

He stared at me for a second before beginning. "Well, Daddy Dearest, being ladies' man he was, wasn't too keen to know that he's pride and joy to follow in his footsteps was...umm...gay," he whispered.

I was in shock; I couldn't say a damn thing, only stare at him. Maybe he took this as a bad thing because he continued on, rambling now.

"Look, I know you're shocked, but I just had to tell you. I really like you, and I may be new to this but I know what I'm feeling," he said to me.

Before I could get a word in, he continued. "I'm gonna be blunt here, I couldn't stop thinking about you, It was so hard to sit across from you during your mom's dinner invites. I wanted you so badly. Sometimes I thought to hell with it, and that I would just grab you and kiss you right then and there. I'd fantasize about you too, about the things I would do to make you feel good. And I don't care if you wanna kick my ass now or call me a fag and never speak to me again, I just had to get it off my chest."

There was nothing else I could do. I couldn't believe that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. So I did one of the things I had been fantasizing about since I met him.

I grabbed him and kissed him…

Summer came to a close and we returned to school. Days were spent in class and our nights were spent fooling around. Hot make out sessions after sneaking into each other's bedroom. And alone time was spent exploring each other's body.

To say that Jasper was a good kisser was an understatement. I could kiss him for hours, if only oxygen wasn't required.

He did admitted to making out with a friend from back home, but that's as far as his knowledge went and everything else he wanted to experience with me.

Seeing that I was more experienced than him, we took it slow. Kissing would lead to hand jobs, which then go on to blow jobs and I never tasted anything better than him.

The first time he took me in his mouth, it took all I had not to come. He tentatively took the tip of my cock between his beautiful lips and suck on it before pulling back with a smirk. He would then take all he could into his mouth, sucking and stroking what couldn't fit.

I lost all sense of everything around me. The only thing that existed was this beautiful boy before me. All I could do was encourage him as I couldn't think, or even form a coherent sentence.

The only things that could come out were, "Ugh…baby, don't stop…so good…fuck!" before screaming my orgasm and shooting my cum into his mouth.

These were some of the moments we shared…

We acted like best pals at school. This was a small town and though I knew most of them knew that I batted for the other team, I made it look like Jasper was only my friend. Jasper was new to this, and I didn't want to have to deal with the stigma of "small town thinking." Jasper lose his virginity to me after senior prom where he decided to give up the disguise of just being my friend, when he walked straight up to me on the dance floor after my horrific dance with Lauren and telling that he loves me before pulling me into a passionate kiss which I was more than happy to return. We graduated and got into the college of our choices. The only problem was that his was the University of Washington and I got into Dartmouth, but we promised to make it work for us, no way were we going to lose what we had.

And by some struck of luck it did work but not without its failings. Sure, we had our fights and even broke up a couple of times – long distance was a bitch – but always found our way back together.

A couple years later at our wedding as we celebrated our love with our families and friends, I was struck with a sense of gratitude of having this beautiful man in my life. I was beyond happy after having Jasper become my husband and overjoyed that I would get to spend the rest of my life with him. I vowed on that day that I would always try to be there for every moment that we could possibly share together. I would never force him to feel in any way neglected or used, and I would do my best to make him happy. So as I sat here, I realized that we have come too far to let this mistake out of everything we have been through, ruin us.

I left the couch with determination that I would fix it.

I made my way into the bedroom hoping that maybe he would still be awake but I found him curled up on his side of the bed purposely avoiding mine.

With a sigh, I walk into to the bathroom for a shower to wash away maybe some of the hurt I felt. After my shower, I dried off and threw on my sleep pants and made my way to the bed.

He was still in the position I left him in. I climbed in carefully with a peek to see if he was sleeping and stayed on my side to watch the rise and fall of his body.

What should I do? Let him sleep and deal with this in the morning? Wake him and hash it out right now?

Hell...I was never known for my patience. Now it is...

"Jas...Jas…Jas, baby please wake up," I said slightly shoving his shoulder.

"What is it, Edward?" he answered in a surprisely steady voice.

"Have you been awake all this time?" I asked.

"I couldn't sleep," he said curtly.

"I…" I trailed off as he turned to face me suddenly shocking me as I saw that he had been crying.

"Baby, I'm…" I tried, but he didn't wait for me to finish.

"You're what? You're sorry?" he shouted shooting up into a sitting position.

"Yeah, you're always sorry," he said, glaring at me.

"Listen, I told you, I lost track of time," I told him while sitting up to mirror his position.

"Lost track of time?" he said, chuckling.

"More like you fucking forgot!" he shouted.

Fuck, this was gonna be hard...

"Everything you've achieved, I've went out of my way to be right there for it. To support you, to cheer you on, to love you and the most important date and you can't even remember to make time for our love..." He shouted, his voice crackling and tears running from his eyes.

"Look, I know the job is hectic and your time is limited, but so is mine as an architect. Edward, you of all people know that when I'm on the job, that's it darlin', that's where the focus is. But I still find the time to remember you," he said.

"Maybe this means more to me than it does to you, and maybe it's time to leave you with what's more important to you," he said shocking me.

"What? No! Hell No!" I shouted. "Baby, you mean the world to me. All this shit is nothing without you. This marriage means everything to me, having you in my life makes every day worth living."

Jasper said nothing. He only sat there deep in thought, so I pleaded on. "It's been fifteen years Jasper, and I can still remember the first time I saw you, love. How the sun reflected off that beautiful hair of yours through my mom's window making you look like an angel."

He turned toward me, giving me his full attention. "I couldn't believe how sexy you looked in those cowboy boots, the faded blue jeans and that white t-shirt that hugged you just right. Every bit of you was perfection. I especially loved that luxurious neck of yours. God, I wanted to grab you and just begin on suck it and leave my mark on you for the world to see."

"Edward, that's not what I'm talking about now. And that's the pa…" he tried before I interrupted.

"No! Jasper, it never will be the past for me," I told him taking his hand in my own. "Baby, I still feel the same way about you even after all these years. I love your big blue eyes, they remind me of the ocean. You have such full and supple lips. Kissing them was and still is heavenly."

I told how I felt all the times we'd broken up in the past – how lost I was. How pointless everything had seemed to me without him in my life. And when he shared that he had felt the same, I don't know what it was but something in me released, and I breathed a little easier.

He smiled shyly when I told him about all the fantasies I still have of him.

"I know it hasn't been easy being with me. And for that, I apologize," I said. "But everything seems pointless without you in the picture."

"Nothing satisfies me unless I get to share it with you," he said. "My heart still beats so fast when I see you smile. Your body is so beautiful, every time you're naked it makes me blush."

"My fantasies of you, leaves me so damn hard and wanting you," I told him as I caressed his cheek, watching him lean into my touch.

"I think about you too, a little too damn much, you're so fucking distracting," he whispered, chuckling.

Slowly I leaned into him so I could feel his sweet breath on my face. I was so transfixed by his lips that I almost missed it as he leaned into kiss me.

"I love you, Jasper," I whispered.

"I love you too, sweetheart," He said, drawling his words in his delicious Southern accent that always leaves me hard when I hear him speak.

When his lips touch mine it was like a rush of fire through me. I deepen the kiss by parting my lips and welcoming his sweet tongue in my mouth, while grabbing a handful of his blonde locks bringing him closer, I couldn't get enough.

As his kisses move to my neck, I groaned out, "Ugh… I love you baby."

Our hands roamed over each other, removing clothes, kissing and nipping at each newly revealed skin.

"I want you so much, Edward," he moaned as I bit down on his sensitive nipple while caressing the other.

I continued down his beautiful body, kissing and nipping my way to the "V" of his hips – purposely delaying my journey to where he wanted me the most.

Listening to his grunts and pleas, I decide to put him out of his misery. I kissed the tip of his cock before sucking the swollen head – glistening with precum – into my mouth. I then pulled away to see the look of abandon on his face.

Wanting to watch him come apart, I again took him in my mouth going as far as I could, hallowing out my cheeks to suck him with vigor.

I licked and sucked as he weaved his hands through my hair and began thrusting my mouth as he moaned and thrashed beneath me.

"Ugh…so good…can't…mmm…stand it... gonna…uh… cum…Oh! Edward!" He screamed out as he came filling my mouth with his come.

I greedily swallowed everything he gave me before licking him clean and then kissing my way back up his body until I was hovering over him staring into his eyes until he pulled me down to his lips.

Our lips met over and over again with him surely tasting himself on them.

He opened his eyes with a playful smirk before pushing me on my back and climbing on top of me to repeat everything I had just done to him, leaving me breathless.

"Make love to me..." he whispered while reaching for the lube and condom from the bedside table. I rolled over on top of him kissing him soundly before marking my favorite spot on his neck.

I continued to suck on it as I popped the cap on the lube and began to prepare myself for him.

After rolling on the condom over my shaft, I tore myself away from him so I could look into his beautiful eyes as I stroked his cock while slipping my prepared fingers into his entrance.

First, one then two, gently moving them in and out at maddening slow pace. I enjoy it when he can't take it and beg for my cock inside of him.

It drives me up a wall, to hear his sighs and groans and pleads.

"Oh please, Edward," he moans out. "I can't take it, I need to feel you inside me darlin'."

"What is it, love?" I asked, teasingly brushing my lips over his ear.

"Ugh…mmm…Edward, please, get inside me baby," he pleaded. "Make love to me, I need you so much."

I removed my fingers, and gently guided my cock inside of him, whispering "I love you" until I was fully sheathed within.

It never matters how many times we have made love or fucked, I always treat him as if he were the precious thing I have ever touched, taking the time to ensure that he's okay before we go any further.

"Oh baby, please...mmm…baby…mmm...move," he grunted, bucking his hips into mine to prove how ready he was.

I began thrusting in and out of him slowly, wanting to savor the feeling of being this close to him.

We moaned, kissed and groaned out our pleasure, filling the bedroom with nothing but the sounds of our lovemaking.

"Ugh… fuck me Edward, harder baby," he grunted out, taking his own cock in his hand and stroking it, signaling he was close.

I could never deny him, so I gave him what he wanted and began thrust harder.

Nothing in the world could ever compare to the feeling being with him this way.

"Yes, that's it…you feel so good wrapped around me baby…rub that beautiful cock for me, cum for me, baby." I whispered as I fucked him.

"You're so beautiful," I said as I felt my own orgasm approach but wanting him to go over the edge first.

Three hard thrusts later, he came, shouting his pleasure and spilling his hot cum all over his chest and I wasn't far behind spilling myself inside of him.

We remained together for a while, exhausted but relieved and loving the feel of each other.

Reluctantly, I carefully guided myself out of him and with a soft kiss left for the bathroom, I returned with a warm washcloth to clean ourselves up with. I gently cleaned him as I showered him with kisses.

After dropping the cloth in the hamper, I got back into bed deciding to forego clothes wanting to feel his skin on mine.

After a round of soft kisses and whispered "I love yous" he drifted off to sleep.

I stayed awake for awhile staring at him. I am lucky that I had this beautiful man that loved me as much as I did him, and thankful for his presence in my life and vowing never to forget…

Loved that I got to pop cherry with this one. Thanks for reading!