Happy Valentines Day the Digital way. Lots of love from me to you. Enjoy and spread the love by leaving a review.

So Confused It Hurts

"Why do you do this, Tai?" Matt hollered, shaking with anger, a bouquet of wilted roses clenched in his fist.


That's a really good question. Why do I do this? It's not right. I tell myself I love you but I hurt you so much. I'm always there to screw things up for you. You can never go on a date without me showing up to ruin it. And so what if I stop you this time? You'll find someone else and butting in on two of your relationships is a bit much even for me. Will I be there to object at your wedding? Because I might just be crazy enough. I'm crazy for you; I can't loose you to anyone, not even my best friend.

But last night – that look on your face. I hurt you so much. And it's because I'm a coward. I'm afraid to get hurt so I hurt you in my place. I can't see that look in your eyes ever again. I can't cause that ever again.

And all because I couldn't stand to loose you, I threw a fit. I embarrassed you last night. When the manager had to come and have me removed, I saw your embarrassment. And then, so much worse, I saw your disgust. I really messed up. I want you so badly I can hardly breathe but keeping you unhappy like this is breaking my heart. I want you, but I want you happy. I'm so confused it hurts.

Maybe you'll forgive me; if I give this up, if I stop hurting you. If I let you go.


"Matt please, listen to me," Tai pleaded, panting as he caught up with the escaping blonde who was gasping for air. He'd never had any sort of stamina.

"Tai, I'm done," Matt rebuked. "I'm done listening to you and your apologies or your excuses or whatever you're going to throw at me this time."

"But Matt."

"Sora was crying," Matt growled. "You made her cry, Tai. She was humiliated. I was humiliated. I know you have the creepy obsession with her that you dare to call love after everything you've put her through and that you don't want me to have her, but you've crossed a line."


"You broke a table! You yelled at the maitre d'. How can you even ask me to forgive you?"

"I don't want your forgiveness," Tai yelled, finally being heard of the ranting rocker. His heavy breath calmed some when Matt finally turned to look at him. "I just wanted to tell you that you can have her."

Matt's angry look immediately faltered to reveal his confusion.

"I never wanted Sora," Tai explained. "I just didn't want you to have her. Or more precisely, I didn't want her to have you."


"I'm sorry Matt, I screwed everything up for you, so badly. And I upset Sora. But I didn't know how else to survive. I thought I needed you that much that if I couldn't have you than you shouldn't belong to anybody."


"I love you, Matt! There, I said it. I'm gay and I love you and I hurt you. But I realized last night, after the restaurant, that I shouldn't hurt you anymore. I really do love you so if you want Sora –"

"Tai, would you shut up for a minute."

Both boys fell silent as the rain that had before been but a light drizzle began coming down in buckets. Only the sounds of water against asphalt and heavy breathing could be heard.

Matt walked over to stand in front of Tai. He was stone-faced and even Tai couldn't figure out what he was thinking…Until Matt raised his hand.

Tai saw sparks as Matt's hand came down hard across his face. His cheek hurt, but he knew he deserved it.

"You idiot," Matt hollered and Tai began to cry.

"I'm sorry Matt," he blubbered. "If you want to kill me I'll tell every psychic I meet I fell down some stairs."

"I don't want to kill you Tai," Matt grumbled. "Though maybe I still need to shake some sense into you."

"I don't understand," Tai mumbled.

"Clearly," Matt chuckled, his mood suddenly seeming brighter. "You're so dense. Hell, maybe I'm dense. I hadn't figured that you kept sabotaging all my dates to keep me available. I mean, you hade made it all about Sora, I never guessed. I would never have thought that Tai Kamiya of all people were gay." Matt actually started laughing.

"Dude, I know I can be an ass sometimes but could you not laugh at me," Tai snapped.

"Sorry Tai, but you really caught me off guard with this one. I feel bad for Sora now. It was really nice of her to volunteer to be my girlfriend and it's not like she didn't get some free stuff out of this, but had you said something sooner maybe she'd have had a chance to date someone who was actually interested. You owe her back her teenage years," Matt explained to the drenched brunette who wasn't at all following.

"You…owe her…what?' Tai babbled.

"Do I need to spell it out for you Tai?" Matt chuckled. "You know me well enough to know that I'm shy and that I care way too much about what people think about me. It's not like it's easy for me, even now, knowing all that I know, to be honest. I barely bring myself to say it. I can't be gay. I can't be that guy that everyone pities and looks down on because he fell in love with his best friend."

Tai swallowed hard. "You like Izzy?"

Matt outright laughed. "Izzy's nice and all," he said after he caught his breath. "But I prefer guys who are unreasonably thickheaded."

"But I'm unreasonably thickheaded," Tai mumbled, still trying to fit the pieces together.

"Even now," Matt agreed as he leaned in a captured the brunette's delicate lips.

"You like me?" Tai asked, the pieces finally clicking after Matt's kiss.

"I love you, Tai," Matt corrected, sighing and pulling Tai into a tight embrace. "Though maybe I'd love you even more if you had a brain that functioned."

"But if I had a brain, I couldn't be your mindless groupie… wait, are you calling me stupid?"

Matt chuckled and kissed Tai's creased forehead. "No baby, I'm calling you Tai. Stupid just happens to be part of the package."