Disclaimer: I don't own Black Cat. I'm not sure if there's an actual 'Larry's All-You-Can-Eat Buffet', but if there is, I don't own that either.
Author's Note: My first Black Cat fanfic and my first attempt at writing humor. I was inspired when I saw a sign similar to the one in the story. Don't know if I'm going to make a habit out of writing crack fics; I write whenever I get an idea. Please review, you don't have to favorite it or write a page long essay, but I would appreciate anyone who would take the time out of their day to leave a few words of advice/praise/constructive criticism. Oh, one last thing: in case you couldn't guess, this is the part of the manga where Train is still under the effects of the nano-machines that turned him into a kid. Kinda obvious, but in case any of my slower readers are reading this, I'm worse at getting a point across than I thought, or someone who isn't familiar with Black Cat is reading this (for whatever reason), I didn't want anyone to get confused. Enjoy.
"Dr. Tearju Lunatique, huh?" Train repeated the name into the cell phone.
"Yeah, she's an expert in nano-technology. If there's anyone who can get you back to normal it's her," Sven replied. "We've got an address, so get back here as soon as you can."
"I'm on my way," Train said as he headed back to the hotel.
"There's one more thing Train; she was recruited for her expertise by Boss Torneo. If you take that into consideration, then judging from this picture that I have of her there's a high probability that-"
"Hold that thought Sven!" Train nearly yelled as he spotted a poster displayed from the other side of a window.
"What's wrong?" Sven asked.
Train didn't respond right away, he was too busy reading and rereading the message.
It was an advertisement that read: 'Larry's All-You-Can-Eat Buffet. Kids eat for free on Fridays!'
"Uhhh, Sven?" Train said into the phone. "Today's Friday, right?"
"Uh, yeah, I think. Why, what is it?" the confused Sweeper asked.
Train pinched himself. When he was fairly certain that he wasn't dreaming he asked "What age do you think I could pass for?"
"What?" Sven asked, genuinely confused by the seemingly random questions. "I don't know... anywhere from eight to eleven I guess? Why, what is it?"
Train grinned: according to the fine print the restaurant's definition of a "kid" was anyone under (but not including) the age of twelve years. And it doesn't say anything about parental supervision he noticed.
"When were we planning on leaving?"
"Today," Sven said, clearly annoyed. "Darn it, Train, what is it?"
"You think we could postpone that?" Train asked.
"I've stumbled on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity," Train explained.
"And I've just found what might be your only opportunity of getting back to normal!"
"That can wait. This can't."
"Don't worry, I'll be there in a few hours."
"Wait, Tra-" Before Sven could finish his sentence and before he could even begin to understand what was going on, Train hung up and walked into the restaurant.
Train looked up at the waitress responsible for seating the customers. "Table for one, please."
"Hmm?" the waitress gave as a reply. "Where are your parents, sweetie?"
"My mom's shopping across the street. She always takes really long, so she said I could get something to eat if I was hungry," Train lied. He wondered what kind of reaction the waitress would have given if he had said, "they're dead".
"Hmm..." the waitress said as she thought about what she should say. "You should probably stay with your mom, you wouldn't want to accidentally get lost, would you?"
"She's right across the street, and I could always call her if there was a problem," Train replied, showing his cell phone to the waitress.
"Hmm," the waitress responded in an annoyed tone. It would be harder to get rid of the kid than she had thought. She decided to get right to the point and level with the kid.
"Look sweetie," the waitress said in her most sympathetic tone, "I'm sorry, but I don't think my boss would like it if I let someone your age inside without an adult. If it were up to me you could come right in, but the boss has this policy that-"
"Really?" Train interrupted. "That's weird, because I didn't read anything like that on the poster."
Normally, she would tell the kid that it was rude to interrupt an adult, but the kid was giving her this look that said "Bad things are going to happen if I don't get my way".
What the waitress did say was "... huh?"
"On the poster outside," the ex-assassin said slowly. "The fine print explained that anyone under the age of twelve could eat for free on Fridays from 9:30 to 6:30. It also explained that this was a limited time offer at participating 'Larry's All-You-Can-Eat Buffets' and proceeded to list the locations of the participating restaurants along with their phone numbers in a detailed list. The same message was repeated underneath the first in two different languages. I think that if the 'policy' that you mentioned did in fact exist, they would have mentioned it in the fine print, wouldn't you agree? But if you would like to call 'Larry' to make sure that you won't be in trouble, then by all means, pick up the phone and call. As I said, my mom takes a really long time to finish shopping.
A bead of sweat rolled down the waitress' face. She swallowed in an attempt to get the lump out of her throat.
When she found the strength to speak she asked, "Would you like a coloring menu?" in her kindest voice.
Train smiled in triumph.
Sven followed the directions on the hand-held tracking device. The eye patched inventor had placed microchips inside the cell phones of each member of the team. The microchips perpetually broadcasted their location to the receiver that Sven now held. Train's signal hadn't moved for a while, and Sven hoped that his invention could help him figure out why Train had acted so strangely during their phone conversation.
He's inside this building, Sven noted. Or his cell phone is, at least. The conversation had left Sven with an ominous felling, and he was ready to go in guns blazing.
Sven looked up at the... restaurant? Then he noticed the poster.
Sven sighed and walked away; he knew better than to put himself between Train and a free meal.
Author's Note: Please review. Please review. Please review. That goes for any other story of mine that you happen to read as well, I love me my reviews. You've got to be thinking something about what you just read, so you might as well write it down. Hope you enjoyed it, if you have any questions you can leave them in the reviews or PM me. Odds are you'll get an answer.