Have any of you heard of the wonder that is Doctor Who? I'm getting to be a big fan of it… even though I haven't seen a full episode yet…
Hehe, you guys are probably still angry at me for not updating Gone and Conflicts. The horror that is writer's block has hit me once more. I kind of hate writing uber long stories, because I know what's going to happen at the beginning and end, just not in the middle. Argh.
Well, this shiny new Fanfiction is Rose and Ten's (the tenth doctor, dur) alternating POV's of Doomsday/Journey's End/whatever episode it is where they get separated. I'M INFINETLY SORRY if I get any facts wrong- I don't know much about Doctor Who… by the way, do the doctors remember things from their previous incarnations? I think yes, because before Nine regenerated into Ten he had been talking about taking Rose to the planet Barcelona… and then when he was Ten he said something like "Where was I? Oh yes, Barcelona." Hmmm. Well I'll shut up and get on with it. Rose's POV will be in italics, Ten's POV will be in regular… And yes, I used some direct quotes from the show. Enjoy!
My elbow was hooked around the handle. My feet dangled uselessly as the massive suction force tried to suck me in. Rose clung to the lever, her fingers slowly becoming unclamped.
"Rose, HOLD ON!" I screamed at her, above the deafening roar of the black-hole-like portal that had opened up. She let out a scream, and her fingers continued to slip. "HOLD ON!" One by one, her fingers slid… slowly… off the lever. "ROSE!" Another scream erupted from her mouth as she soared slowly through the air, my scream accompanying hers.
Rose's father appeared out of nowhere and caught her soaring form. She stopped screaming, and looked back at me, shocked and surprised. They disappeared, their edges blurring.
She was safe. I would much rather have her be in an alternate world than in a place where she was irretrievable.
The spectrum of white and grey light made an odd noise then collapsed in on itself and finally closed.
"The breach is closed," the unnatural computer voice said in a monotone. My eyes fixed on the wall where the portal had been. My feet settled back on the ground.
"Take me back!" I screamed, banging hopelessly on the wall. I wanted to go back to the Doctor so badly. Tears streamed down my face and sobs disfigured my speech. "Take me back!"
"It's not working," my father announced. "He's done it. He closed the breach."
In fierce denial, I leaned against the wall, trying to press my hands through, trying to return to the Doctor. I shook my head, moaning, "No!"
I unclamped my arm from the magnetic clamp and walked silently towards the wall. Stopping just next to it, I placed a shaking hand on its clean white surface. On instinct, I leaned my head towards it, placing my ear against the surface. It was as if I could hear her screams, her screams of agony that so mirrored my own, the sounds of grief that engulfed my soul. I kept my mouth shut, for fear that if I opened it, all sanity would be lost. It felt as if she was there, just on the other side of the wall, and if I really believed the false hopes of my head, I could blast open the wall and see her again.
It was inexplicable- I could feel him on the other side. He was just leaning on the other side, longing for me as much as I was he. I pressed my ear and a hand against the grey wall and strained to hear him.
Surely she was standing right next to me? Her presence was so strong. But she had not the powers of a Time Lord, or the help of a TARDIS. She couldn't create an image out of sheer energy. How could a human endure such aching? Is this the reason why the Doctors refrained themselves from becoming attracted?
The silence in the room was haunting, and yet, thunderously loud. It impressed on my ears, drowning everything out.
A smile almost crept across my face- it felt like he was standing right next to me. It felt as if I could reach out and touch him. I almost looked around hopefully, but I reminded myself that we were trapped in entirely different dimensions.
I heard her sobs once more, and I felt a fissure line impress itself into my heart.
A sob wrenched itself from my throat- I could no longer feel his presence.
My fingers slid slowly from the wall. I leaned away. My feet moved, and I was no longer touching the barrier that separated us.
I didn't even get to say goodbye.
I didn't even get to say goodbye.
I held back a fresh round of tears and wiped my eyes. I felt my heart break. It splintered into a thousand pieces. Leaning away from the wall, I pushed back my hair and stared through blurred eyes at my mother, father and Mickey. I pressed my head once more against the grey surface, and walked away.
At first I thought I was imagining the voice. But no, it couldn't be.
That night I had a dream. I heard a voice. And it was calling my name.
"Rose," it said, insistently. I shot up from bed. I had heard the Doctor softly calling me as clear as if he was standing right next to me.
I told Mum and Dad- and Mickey. Anyone else would think I was mad. Not those three. They believed it, because they'd met the Doctor, so they listened to the dream.
And that night, we packed up; got into Dad's old Jeep and off we went. Just like the dream said, we followed the voice- across the water… We kept on driving hundreds and hundreds of miles… because he was calling me.
Here I am at last. And this is the story of how I died.
I looked around, the wet sand sinking slightly under my feet. He wasn't there. The voice had told me to come here, yet he was not there. I was ready to give up when I looked to my left and finally saw him. He was transparent, yet had color, like a ghost.
The image projection was working. I could see her, clear as day, in front of my eyes. She was standing on a beach, the waves swelling up and reaching across the bay. Rocks littered the sand, tumbling down in a pattern. Her mother, father, and Mickey stood far behind, next to her father's old rusty Jeep.
She was a definite sight for sore eyes. She looked like she wanted to weep just by looking at me.
"Where are you?" she asked me, her voice unnaturally high.
"Inside the TARDIS," I replied. Oh, how I wanted to hold her in my arms and hug her. "There's one tiny little gap in the universe left… just about to close. It takes a lot of power just to send this projection- I'm in orbit around a supernova… I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye." There was an odd jump in my voice at the end that I could not place.
"You look like a ghost," Rose said, her voice still high.
I could fix that. "Hold on," I told her. I pulled my sonic screwdriver from my pocket and adjusted the controls.
I could tell by the look on her face that I had solidified. She walked towards me, and raised a hand up, as if to touch my face. "Can I-?"
"I'm still just an image," I told her softly. "No touch."
"Can't you come through properly?" Rose's voice trembled as she spoke.
I almost laughed in regret. "The whole thing would fracture. Two universes would collapse."
"So?" she said with some of her old cockiness. A smile spread across my face. She was joking, though, and I almost wished I had the time to joke back.
The beach was peaceful- there were no gulls to interrupt the crashing of the waves. "Where are we?" I asked suddenly. "Where did the gap come out?"
"We're in Norway," Rose said, almost smiling.
"Norway," I replied. "Right…"
"About fifty miles out of Bergen," she finished. "It's called 'Darlig Ulv Stranden'."
"…Dalek?" I responded quickly, surprised.
"Dar-lig," she replied. "It's Norwegian for 'bad'. I stared at her face, trying to sear her into my memory forever.
"This translates as 'Bad Wolf Bay'," she said, and we laughed at the sheer irony. Her face instantly fell, though, and I frowned once more.
"How long have we got?" she asked, her voice splitting with the effort not to weep.
"About two minutes," I replied softly. Her face fell again, and it looked like she was going to cry.
"I can't think of what to say!" she almost laughed. Her voice jumped, and I laughed quietly with her. How hard was this, to be conversing like we had all the time in the world, when, in reality, we only had a few short minutes? The impending sadness loomed over our heads, ready to strike at any moment.
I looked to the old Jeep again, where her mother, father, and Mickey were standing… funny. I had expected him to be gone by now…
"You've still got Mr. Mickey, then?" I asked her.
"There are five of us, now…" she replied. "Me, Mum, Dad, Mickey… and the baby…"
Wait… surely she wasn't… How could that happen? "You're not…?" I asked in shock.
"No," she said quickly, and laughed. I almost sighed in relief. "It's mum." I looked back to where Jackie stood, next to Pete and Mickey.
"She's three months gone… more Tylers on the way."
Well, that was good for Rose, I decided. "What about you? Are you…?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm… I'm back working in the shop," she said, moving hair from her face.
"Oh, good for you," I replied, expecting a witty response from her.
She merely laughed, and said, "Shut up. No I'm not. There's still a Torchwood on this planet, it's open for business." Her eyes suddenly filled with crystalline tears, and I resisted the urge to hug her, for it was not physically possible at the moment. "I think I know a thing or two about aliens."
I was proud of her. She had remembered her travels with me! "Rose Tyler, defender of the earth."
"You're dead, officially, back home. So many people died that day, and you've gone missing. You're on a list of the dead."
Tears start to stream down my companion's face, and I continue softly, smiling. "Here you are. Living a life day after day… the one adventure I can never have."
Rose begins to cry quietly, and her voice comes out slightly strangled by the tears. "Am I ever gonna see you again?"
Now I held her heart in my hands. Just a few words could break it, and yet another few could save it forever. But I had to break her heart. "You can't," I replied quietly, sorrow and regret in those two syllables alone.
"What're you gonna do?"
"Oh, I've got the TARDIS… same old life… last of the Time Lords…" I trailed quietly.
"On your own?" she said. I gave a quiet nod. Compassion took over my features, and I stared at her, the girl- no, woman- crying weakly, unwilling to let me go.
She tried to say something. "I lo-" She has to stop, through her tears. She said three words that I will never forget.
"I love you."
I almost didn't believe it. I almost didn't believe that she felt the same way I did about her. My gaze fixed on her, and I replied, "Quite right, too." She was still weeping, her head in her hands, the tears freely streaming down her face, but she smiled and nodded.
A sudden impulse took over me, something I had to say, if it was the last chance to say it. Time was running out, and fast. "And I suppose… if it's one last chance to say it…" I paused, and looked into her pretty eyes. I could feel the lump in my throat before I even began to speak.
"Rose Tyler…" My voice echoed, and she disappeared.
The Doctor disappeared before my very eyes. What did he want to say to me? Did he love me back?
I would never know.
I began to weep once more, finally giving in to the dizzying grief and sadness and loss. I barely noticed my mother locking her arms around me as I spiraled, deep, deep down into the sea of grief.
No! I thought. I had taken too much time. She would never know. I would never see her again. She was irretrievable. Tears streamed down my face as my mouth remained open to say the words I would never get to say.
"Rose Tyler, I love you."
I was just another face in the crowd, albeit an extremely intelligent one. I was just one man. I had pretended to be strong for so long, to be without loss.
So why, as I closed my eyes in utter defeat and grief, did I have to lose her?