AN: Hey all! So, spoiler alert for 2x12, Silly Love Songs. Just so you know. Smutty one-shot, written in 1 day, unbeta-ed, but I still hope you like it. Leave a review, 'cause reviews equal virtual hugs and cookies :) enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own Glee. *sigh*


Quinn was sleeping, again. She hadn't been doing much else lately. It had only been one week since she'd gotten mono, but it already felt like forever. It felt horrible, knowing there were 2 more weeks to go. Quinn was getting to the point where she was absolutely positive that the universe was out to get her.

She had a feeling that she couldn't get away with a regular sin, one that someone else would be able to get away with. Karma had it out for her; she would be punished for everything. She was also growing surer every moment that she didn't ever want to kiss anybody again, and that nothing in the world would be able to make her feel better.

She moaned when her black world turned lighter, and creaked her left eye open. There it was. A narrow stripe of sunlight, widening, until her whole room was basking in the sun. Another moan fell from her lips.

"I don't want to wake."

"I believe it's better if you do," a voice came from beside her. It wasn't her mom's voice, she thought, but still familiar. Not that it mattered. Only one thing mattered.

"But I'm so tired!"

"I understand this perfectly well, Quinn. However, as much as it pains me to say this, I desperately need your help. Unfortunately, I need you for something only you can give me."

Her eyes shot open, and Quinn sat up straight in her bed, blinking a few times before seeing her suspicions confirmed. Rachel Berry was in her bedroom.

Quinn couldn't help but feel like someone broke into her safest harbor, read her diary and kicked her favorite stuffed animal - the one that she still kept around.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Rachel looked down and straightened her skirt out, before resting her hands on her stomach to keep them from fiddling.

"As I said, I need your help, Quinn. I need something only you can give me."

"What do you want from me, Stubbles?" Quinn said in a harsh voice. The insult came automatically. Part of her felt like apologizing, for some reason, but she never had before. So it would probably come off a bit weird.

Rachel took a deep breath, meeting Quinn's gaze.

"Your germs."

Quinn's mouth fell open.

"I knew you were some kind of freak but this-"

"Listen," Rachel started. "Just listen. I know you never do and that's, well, incredibly stupid in my opinion, but it has never been this important. I need you to listen to me."

Quinn remained silent, and Rachel took that as a sign that she could continue.

"I have overrated my personal strength," she said. "and I am highly disappointed in myself. However, now that I have officially accepted that I am not over Finn, I want to try to win him back. I need to try."

She scraped her throat. "Finn told me about what happened between the two of you, not that is was that hard to figure out by the way. He said he saw fireworks when he kissed you. I want him to see fireworks when he kisses me, too. So I want to kiss him until he does."

Rachel gave Quinn a pointed look. "I'm positive I can get him to kiss me again, because after such an invested relationship, like the one we had, it's impossible to break up without lingering feelings. However, the one thing that will keep him from kissing me is the fact that he doesn't want me to get sick, the gentleman that he is."

Quinn bit on her tongue to stop herself from saying that that was actually about as humane as putting on a condom before fucking when you have chlamydia.

"I don't care if I get mono. I just care if I get Finn back. I would actually rather get it over with now, so that I'll be safe for the rest of my life, because I'd hate to cancel a tour over something like mono.

I realize that you have no reason to help me, since you and Finn obviously have some lingering feelings, too, but just think about all the times that you have hurt me and Glee club. From where I'm standing, you most definitely owe me."

Quinn's blurry mind was trying to process Rachel's words, but it didn't add up to anything. Until Rachel said:

"So I'm going to kiss you now, with tongue."

The diva took 2 long strides and was at her bedside, when Quinn ducked beneath the sheets.

"No!" Quinn's muffled voice sounded. "You're freaking crazy, man-hands! You're insane!"

She risked peeking over the edge of her sheets, and-

"Get that mouth away from me!"

"Quinn, would you please not make this needlessly difficult? I can assure you that I don't want to do this any more than you do, it's just that, you are my only option and thus the best one I have. And I feel rather offended that you are this opposed to kissing me. It's quite obvious by now that you have little problem with cheating, and even though my kisses didn't make Finn see quote-unquote fireworks, I believe that they still can be extremely pleasurable."

Quinn shivered. Treasure Trail had officially gone insane. It was probably a matter of time only, but still. Did it have to happen in Quinn's room?

She felt another hand tugging at her sheets.

"No!" Quinn said. "Don't-"

The sheets were ripped away from her body, leaving her in nothing but a large t-shirt and with a fiery blush on her face. Quinn immediately started moving for her sheets.

Rachel put her hands on Quinn's shoulders, holding her down.

"No," Quinn said once more. "I won't let you! You can't kiss me!"

"I would appreciate it if you would stop struggling and get this over with, Quinn!"

Still squirming and moving her head around, the blonde was decided to do anything but what Rachel was asking.

"Holy Minelli, just keep still for one second!" Rachel yelled out, exasperated.

Keeping her arms on Quinn's upper body, she used her hands to keep the other girl's head still and firmly planted a kiss on Quinn's mouth.

To her undeniable embarrassment, Quinn immediately stopped struggling and felt her body relax, powerless from the second Rachel's lips touched hers. Just when she thought she'd had the best kiss ever with Finn, this came along. A new highlight. A new standard that she was pretty sure no boy she'd ever dated could live up to.

Tearing away, she asked in a softer voice: "I plan on never going without health insurance and always being in a position that I have doctors to take care of me, so I know little to nothing about medical affairs... what does it take for me to get mono? I don't feel different. Will that do?"

"No," Quinn said, breathlessly. "It definitely won't. Perhaps you should try some tongue."

Rachel frowned and leaned over the other girl again, brushing their lips together before nipping at the ex-cheerleaders bottom lip, asking for permission.

Quinn separated her upper lip from her bottom lip to let Rachel's tongue touch hers, knowing that she had no chance. Was she going to hell? Yes, probably. Not only for knowingly spreading mono, but also for spreading it by kissing a girl. She forgot when Rachel's tongue entered her mouth and started moving, exploring.

The singer's arms lifted, to get better leverage. Quinn immediately used her new freedom to rest her hand lightly on Rachel's back. It felt really weird to Quinn to be able to feel Rachel's bra under the girl's - undoubtedly horrible - sweater, but it excited her for some reason. Like it was a promise, for something more to come.

And then it was over.

"That's it, right?" Rachel asked in an almost inaudible voice. "I've got mono now. I can kiss Finn again."

"I don't know," Quinn said, feeling her conscious already yelling at her. The guilt was going to feel so horrible, she already knew that for sure, but it didn't stop her.

"Because," the blonde continued, "I did much more with Finn than just kiss. Neither of us were virgins so we did more, and I honestly don't know what the exact reason is that we both got it."

Rachel's eyes widened, and Quinn already felt a stab of guilt when she saw the hurt in the chocolate brown eyes.

"You had sex with him too?" She said in a voice that betrayed a lot of emotion.

Quinn swallowed the guilt. It went away too easily.

"Not actual sex, I mean, I didn't touch his... thing. But he touched me."

Quinn was sure her pupils were blown. She'd gone insane. But the only knowledge that she clung to at that moment was that... she needed this. She hadn't known before. But right now, she needed this more than she'd ever needed anything ever before. She just hoped Rachel would prove herself as stupid as Finn, or at least determined enough to go through with it.

"What did he do to you?" Rachel said, moving her hands doubtfully downwards. Quinn's breath stuck in her throat.

"He touched me, down... down there."

"What exactly did he do? Touch you how, Quinn? I need details so I can reenact this properly."

Reenact. Rachel was behaving like this was a scene. Quinn swallowed again, pushing the guilt away for the moment. She'd regret this is she went through with it, but also if she didn't go through with it. So it didn't really matter, right?

"He touched me with his mouth, and..." Quinn couldn't finish her sentence. Her heart was drumming hard, trying to leave her chest, it seemed.

"I understand," Rachel said with a slight nod. She looked like she was bracing herself for something.

"Alright, are you already aroused enough for me to proceed, or do you need more foreplay? Foreplay is vitally important, Quinn, please remember that. I want to avoid hurting you at all costs, and it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of if you aren't ready yet. In fact, it would be extremely quick if you already were ready."

"I'm ready," Quinn said, unable to keep her cheeks from tinging pink. Hell yeah, she was ready. Embarrassingly so, even.

"Oh," Rachel said. "Well, you are still very young, so I imagine... well, never mind. If you'd allow me," she finished, starting to pull on Quinn's t-shirt.

Quinn lifted her arms eagerly, and after the shirt fell to the floor with a soft thud, Rachel's gaze observantly traced nothing but skin and white cotton panties. Quinn started blushing more. She was used to people - especially boys - starting at her, objectifying her, but not scrutinizing her like that moment.

Rachel's eyes met Quinn's again, and the young woman scraped her throat.

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable, but as I was saying to Finn just last week, you are an extremely pretty girl. So of course I was curious if you really were as pretty as you seemed to be."

Quinn's mind was racing. Did Rachel think she was beautiful? Or was she just checking out the competition? She was dying to ask Rachel if Quinn's body lived up to her expectations, but felt like it would be inappropriate for this moment. Rachel looked away shyly, with a little bit of a sad look in her big brown eyes.

"I should not be surprised in the slightest that you are. But it just seems like a little bit too much at times. How can I compete with you? I wonder, how can any girl? Nobody can. It's so clear why every boy in Lima chases you. It isn't fair."

The girl sucked in her bottom lip, and Quinn bit on her lip too, before gazing up, expectantly.

"Oh, of course. I should imagine you want to get this over with too," Rachel said quickly. "Thank you for letting me do this. After this, I believe we're even."

The brunette sucked in a deep breath before carefully sliding Quinn's panties down long, creamy white legs, Quinn lifting her hips to help Rachel.

Rachel closed her eyes, taking a moment to herself, and looked like she was whispering - singing, even? - to herself. When she opened her eyes, she placed her clothed body over Quinn's nude one, kissing the other girl's lips.

Quinn immediately forgot about guilt, Finn, Sam, her mother downstairs, the rest of the world, because it didn't matter. Her world would be put on hold for as long as needs be just so Rachel and she could do this.

Rachel moved her mouth away from Quinn's, to travel to her neck. She brushed her lips over Quinn's earlobe, before placing quick, wet kisses down the girl's body. She fleeted over some parts and lingered at others, but all in all it went so quickly, that Quinn was surprised when she felt something wet press against the inside of her thigh.

Quivering with anticipation, Quinn moved one hand to grab her pillow to cover her face with it. Her other hand fisted itself in Rachel's chestnut locks. Then Rachel went to town.

She could tell Rachel was just trying things out, but everything felt so amazing, it didn't matter. When the magical tongue was flicking against something, she gasped. When the same magical tongue entered her, she moaned.

There was a pace, and it was going faster and faster. Things exploded behind Quinn's eyelids, and Rachel pulled her tongue out to re-enter with her fingers, swiping her tongue against the magical spot she'd found earlier.

The pace was now maddening, and Quinn's entire body was shaking now. Her core exploded, and with it, her entire body. Her toes were curling, her hands were clawing into anything and everything they could reach, the earth seemed to shatter into beautiful, glorious pieces, and she let out a guttural moan that was thankfully muted by the pillow.

After taking a few moments to come back to herself, she pulled the pillow away from her face. Rachel was sitting on her bedside again.

"I feel different now," Rachel said softly. "And I have a taste in my mouth I've never had before. I don't know if it's mono, since I find it a rather pleasurable taste, but I'm pretty sure that I must have mono now. I wouldn't know what else to try, to be honest with you. Do you think it worked?"

After her earth shattering only a few moments earlier, now her heart shattered, and she didn't know why. She scraped her throat, because a lump had suddenly formed in there.

"Yeah, sure. I'm sure it worked. You totally have mono now, too."

"Good. I'm very relieved it wasn't all for nothing. I can't wait to share this great news with Finn. I hope you don't mind I don't tell him about today, I'll just say it came about spontaneously or something, I'm sure he'll believe it. Even though I'm all for openness in a relationship, I think this is a one-time occurrence that doesn't need to be shared with anyone. That would be the best for both of us, not to mention your reputation," Rachel said with a pointed look, before looking away with that same sad look again.

"I'll leave you now. Once again, thank you for this, Quinn. I am very grateful."

Quinn, still not fully recovered, could do nothing but watch as a - still fully clothed - Rachel got up and walked to the door of her room, before casting one look back at the naked girl on the bed, her skin shining with sweat in the sunlight.

"See you at school, get well soon," Rachel said.

"Yeah, you too. And good luck with Finn."

Rachel gave her a small smile before walking out, closing the door behind her.

Quinn stared at the ceiling.

"Figures," she whispered to herself. "First time I cheat, I get pregnant. Second time, I get mono. Third time, I go gay for Rachel Berry. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something..."