Written as a little vignette for Severus's 51th birthday bash on LJ.
And because I said I couldn't, and Kelly Chambliss said I could, I turned it into 3 drabble-size things. First section of 200 words, next two 100 words. They are rather addictive, drabbles.

Actually, the rating should be M for people who visualise.


We'll have to invite Professor Snape, you know."

"Oh, no, must we? I mean, I know he's a hero, and all that, but he just sits there and glares. When someone remembers a funny thing, he looks down his nose and says 'Unfortunately, I wasn't there at the time', and then we'll all have to feel dreadful and apologetic all over again."

"Well, we really can't go on ignoring him. He's officially a Great War Hero."

"Yes, but ..., it's really embarrassing. And he's just making things difficult for all of us. Being there, I mean. Sitting there. Looking grim. And we do make an effort! We all make a point of greeting him and saying something nice."

"I know! Let's put him next to Professor McGonagall. They get along fairly well."

"Isn't that hard on her?"

"Oh, she'll like it. Having a partner, I mean."

"Bwhahaha! You make it sound as if it's a date."

"Please. Grow up, will you? Of course they're not partner partners. She's old. He's ..."

"He's greasy. And a git. And now he's a heroic git. Even worse. But you're right, of course. We must have him. And he'll do very nicely for McGonagall."


"It's a quarter to eight."

"So it is; clever of you."

"Don't be more annoying than Nature made you, Severus. You must change, or we'll be late."

"I could be altruistic and stay here. You'd enjoy yourself more."

"You'll do what's decent; you'll accompany me. Change into dress robes, or I'll Charm you into glad rags."


"Severus! I mean it."

"I'm considering your idea of glad rags ... Me in full Highland Dress would give everyone food for talk, and you can visualise, all night long, what I wear under my kilt. That flush is most becoming, my dear."


"So, why was McGonagall so late?"

"There was a problem with the House-Elves, she said."

"Too bad for her, the one time she has a party to go to."

"Why are you grinning? It isn't funny."

"Well, I just thought 'Thank Merlin Snape was even later', and then I thought that, maybe, you know, they'd been together. You remember that time we turned up late because you changed into that sexy dress, and then we shagged each other through the mattress? And we gave some lame excuse for being late?"

"Eeewwwww. At their age – Snape - I mean – it's – eeewwwww."


A/N: Next week I'm away, but the week after there'll be a sequel to A Helping Hand, with Minerva/Wilhelmina.