Losing It ~ SoapyMayhem

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N This is going to be a short read with some lemons and a generous helping of angst. It will be a novella of sorts. The chapters will be short, around 1,000-1,500 words. I anticipate this story lasting maybe 10-12 chapters.

After years of saving herself for that one special guy only to have him turn her down, Bella is on a mission to lose her virginity. Who will be left in the wake of her destruction?

Chapter 1 ~*Lost*~

~* Bella Swan *~

I was in love.

He was everything I ever wanted in a man. I loved his messy hair, his bright eyes, his confidence, and not to mention his mouth. Christ, he was a good kisser.

I've wanted him for so long, feeling jealous every time he had a new skank wrapped around him. They were tramps and unworthy of his affection.

What gave me hope was that I'd seen the way he looked at me from time to time – like I was something to eat. I wanted him to devour me.

That was why, on Friday night, I found myself walking into Mike Newton's house for his annual Halloween party.

Mike greeted me at the door, gawking like an idiot, as usual.

"Hey, Bella, when are you gonna give me that dance you've been promising me for the last three years?" Mike asked hopefully.

"Tonight of course, Mikey," I replied while ruffling his gelled hair. God, he made an awful vampire.

I had no intention of dancing with Mike, but if I didn't agree, he would have trapped me in the doorway, begging until the party was over.

Before I was even ten feet in the door, Lauren rushed me. Her long, corn silk hair nearly swatted me in the face. She looked as fake as ever in her hot pink Barbie costume. I wanted to gag, but she was, after all, my best friend.

"Oh my God, Bella, that is the best costume ever!" she shrieked excitedly.

"Oh this old thing," I said cheekily while spinning around to present my custom designed - and rather expensive - Red Riding Hood costume. I wore a black bandage dress, kitten heels, and a blood red hood made from thick, soft velvet with a brocade trim. It was perfect.

My costume was not without symbolism. My intent was to tempt the wolf, let him see my desire to be devoured by him.

I caught his gaze from across the room. The moment our eyes locked, I knew tonight was my night. I had been saving myself for him; just for the chance to show him how different I was than the band of skanks and fangirls that followed him like lost puppies.

I wanted him to play me the way he played his guitar - like a lover. I wanted to be his muse.

He licked hips lips. He was hungry.

He was hungry for me.

My heart was racing, almost pounding out of my chest.

The crowd parted as we gravitated towards each other.

He eyed me appreciatively with dilated eyes.

It took everything in me not to do a victory dance when he possessively placed his hand on the small of my back.

I wasn't surprised when, an hour later, he'd already taken me to one of the upstairs bedrooms. This was it!

One hand was on my breast, the other inside my red satin thong. He slipped two fingers in, and I felt myself tense from the pressure.

"Bella, what the fuck?" he spat.

His anger was like cold water being thrown on me.

"What's wrong?" I practically whimpered.

"I can tell. You're a virgin. That's what's wrong. Everyone knows, I. Don't. Do. Virgins," he replied icily. The chill from his tone froze the blood in my veins.

Why didn't I know this? I'd made a point to know everything about him, and this little tidbit, the most consequential piece of information EVER, and I'd failed to be aware of it. For fuck's sake, I'd been saving myself for him. I wanted him to be my first.

The devastation on my face must have gotten to him because his eyes softened, and he placed his hand under my chin to hold my gaze.

"Come find me when you've lost it, maybe I'll give you another chance," he offered kindly, and then placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I simply nodded, while fighting back the tears that threatened to spill out.

He left me in the dark room alone. I didn't cry. I couldn't. I was Bella Swan, I was not weak, and I certainly didn't cry over a boy, at least not in public.

By the time I was back downstairs, he already had another skank in his lap. He caught me looking, and winked. I couldn't help the blush that spread across my cheeks from his attention, and at the same time, a sickening feeling rooted itself in my gut. Something akin to jealousy, I supposed. Maybe it was betrayal.

I left the party early because I couldn't stand to see him take her upstairs to the room that should have been ours.

That night, when I got home, I formulated a plan.

It had to happen quickly because Lauren was hosting the next party soon.

I had two weeks to lose my virginity, and finally, after three years of waiting and wanting, James Hunter would be mine.

Please review, and let me know what you guys think!

It's awards season, and much to my surprise Confessions of a Serial Killer has been recognized by The Shimmer Awards as a nominee in the Blood Award category for Best Horror. I would like to thank those who nominated this story as well as Confessions of a Love Sick Geek for the Outtake Award for Best Comedy and Undisclosed Desires for The Quickie Award for best O/S and a Golden Lemon for Best Group Sex.

I have been working on my High Times Anonymous Contest submission hosted by Yogagal and AngstGoddess003. Please head over and check out all the lovely stories. When all the stories are posted, I'd love to hear your ideas on which one you guys think is mine.

Thanks again and I wish everyone a happy Valentines Day!