Title: Verloren

Author: Calenlass Greenleaf

Disclaimer: Hoshino owns D. Gray-man. She also owns Link (even though I wish he were mine)

Spoilers: DGM in general, especially 201 and 202.

Timeframe: Part I: Summarises what Link was doing up to 200 and 201. Part II: Takes place between 201 and 202. Part III: Link and his issues, covering 202 and then some speculation.

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Spoilers, violence, angst, mild swearing. References to Central baddies who don't give a damn about anything except winning the war…etc. And Link obsession for Allen.

Pairings: Pretty-non existent, but perhaps a bit of Link/Tevak…which I started shipping ever since 201.

Summary: You think you are ordinary, but then you realise how rich you truly are when everything is taken away from you. And, you start to take inventory in your head. Link, chapters 189—202.

A/N: Part I was originally for a roleplay in which characters have dreams, and I had just updated Link from 189 to 201. Inspiration for this story came after rping out a possible scenario with Link and Allen, and finally after 202 came out.

…let's just say I'm pleased with myself that I predicted Link's reaction pretty well XD. *shuts up now*


Verloren

Part I: The Last One in Line

Link let out his breath slowly. Even with the Ark, he was still far away from the where the branch was. But at least he could make it out in the distance.

Then came the explosion.

He didn't even have time to stare before Komui was shouting into his earpiece. "This is Headquarters! What happened? What was that sound just now—?"

"It wasn't us," he pressed a hand to the microphone, "an intense light—from afar…" And then the realisation set it. "Isn't that the direction of the North American Branch—?"

Damn it…. He usually didn't swear, but now was the perfect time for it. "Isn't there a reserve gate somewhere closer to the base?"

"The gates closer…are in the barrier." Komui sounded apologetic enough, but more frantic than anything.

Well, that would hardly help…Link gritted his teeth.

"Can you deactivate it, Inspector?"

"Do I look like a magician to you, Supervisor Lee?" Certainly he could use spells, but deactivating someone's magic wasn't in a Crow's line of work.

"We can't reach them; communications are cut off—"

"I can only do so much, and please stop yelling." He turned to face Tevak. "Can't you—"

Tevak knelt on the ground, a hand pressed her eye. Her body was shaking, and she didn't seem to hear him. A little irritated, Link returned to his conversation with Komui. "Supervisor, tell me that Allen Walker is at the North American Branch, at least."

"He was headed there, the last I heard from him."

Just like Walker to leave without a word, he thought. "I will contact you once I am close enough to the barrier." And without waiting for a reply, he shut his communication device off.

"Tevak, get up."

She was still sitting there.

"…" With a hand, he reached down and took her arm. "Up," and he gently tugged until she stood, staring out blankly. When he started walking, she followed him, but with the same look on her face.

"Now is hardly the time for you to space out."

"Earl…"

He turned sharply around. "What?"

"Can't…forgive—" And she suddenly crumpled.

"Tev—"

"Hee, hee." That was all the warning he got, but it was enough so that he wrenched himself and Tevek behind a few rocks. A Level Four flew above them, grinning like all Level Fours did.

"Mamori Bane!" At this rate, he was going to run out of guardian spells. Coughing and almost choking on dust, he grabbed a handful of defensive spells. He wasn't even an Exorcist. Why was he…doing Exorcist work? Why were his fellow Crow even Third Exorcists, anyway?

He ducked a missile and rolled to one side, grimacing when he smashed his chin against a rock and made his lip bleed. Now was hardly the time to be thinking about this—

"Inspector Link! Is the barrier around the North American Branch deactivated yet?"

The device must have turned on… "This isn't the time for that!" he gritted out and he used Kureha Nenki and managed to land a punch on the Akuma. "En ba!" Link glanced over at Tevak. "Get it together, Tevak!" But…what was happening to her? There was…something coming out from her body—

The high-pitched laughter of the Level Four drew his attention. "It's pointless to resist! The dark matter that you were implanted with came from the Earl's soul, and now that Alma Karma's become an Akuma, you guys can't escape from the Earl's curse, either!"

It took a moment before he realised that the Akuma was talking about Tevak. Startled, he glanced at her. She was clutched her shoulders, breathing heavily and erratically.

"It hurts." she gasped. "It…hurts."

All the while, she was…morphing. It made him sick to look at; he usually wasn't nauseated, but this—

He grabbed her around the waist. "Shibari Bane." Taking a moment to seal Tevak and hopefully stop whatever was he happening, he turned to face the Akuma, only to discover a second one had joined it.

"Zur Höllen dammit." he spat out the curse as he readied himself to attack—

And then there was a bright light, but no explosion. He whirled around, only seeing…Timcampi, glowing.

"What the—?" He heard one of the Akuma screech. "I can't see!"

Well, neither could he… "Timcampi! How—" he shielded his eyes, ready to tell it to stop glowing and—

Did Timcampi just…

Yep, the golem was increasing in size. What was happening, he didn't even know and didn't want to know as he just…stared.

He vaguely realised that Timcampi was reciting something…

"Abara…ura…masaracato…barrier break!"

And just like that, he could see the barrier, further away, shattering.

"…" Well, that certainly worked. Out of the corner of his eye, Link saw the Level Fours reading their attacks, and he hurriedly ran back to the Ark, Tevek in one arm. He didn't even dare look at Timcampi lest his mind started wondering as to what in God's name did Cross Marian do to his golem...

The doors slammed behind them, he ran through the entire white-washed place.

"Bro…ther…"

Link's gaze darted down at the Third Exorcist. Her eyes glazed, and she didn't seem to have noticed anything. "Tevak," he tentatively began, but stopped himself. He really didn't understand what was going on. Just…why did Walker leave. Why Noah were appearing. Why Tevak this way. Then again, he was Crow. He was supposed to obey and not question.

But he hated being kept in the dark.

With a little more force than was necessary, he kicked a door open and ran down a passageway, taking the stairs by leaps. Finally, he found the door and grasped the handle, yanking hard. Link was met with a chaotic scene. The area was almost completely demolished, and he saw injured and dead people everywhere. But he had only eyes for Walker. Everything seemed to stop when he saw Allen, standing over Tokusa. There was…

Something wrong….

'A strange scene began unwinding in my mind…where Brother and Tokusa were being killed by Allen Walker…'

Tevak's words echoed in his mind, and he gritted his teeth, rage slowly building.

'And then I saw myself…killing that Allen Walker.'

"Shibari Bane!" He lashed out and cast the seals, eyes hard. Link saw Allen Walker, turning around.

"Deactivate, Allen Walker!"

Allen Walker, not Walker. Now was hardly the time to sound more familiar.

This isn't to say I believed Tevak's prediction, he thought as he set more seals around Allen, but after these few months…after watching and being in contact with him for twenty-four hours a day, I of all people should know—

It isn't just his outer appearance.

I can feel a cold, savage aura oozing out from within. A…definitely out of place feeling, considering the way he was up until now.

The sickening recognition had finally settled in.

The awakening to the Fourteenth must've begun.

But it wasn't supposed to have happened…this soon.

Just…why had he used the binding spell instead of one of his explosive ones? The orders were that he was supposed to be killed…

Why?

To protect Tokusa and Madarao? Or to protect Walker?

But why can't it be both?

In any case, Allen was in danger of being…killed by Tokusa, if that thing could be called such. Using the seals, he managed to drag the Exorcist away a little distance.

"Oww…let me go!"

…Walker could talk? When Allen raised his head, and Link could see that he had ripped the seal off with his teeth (these seals…they weren't quite so strong…). Allen's eyes were clear, no matter what dark aura he had seen before. They were burning with their usual ferocity, with the want to fight.

Why can't it be both…Tokusa and Allen?

Is this how you feel about humans and Akuma, Walker?

"I still might able to survive!"

His hesitation was clearly showing on his face, if Walker was saying that.

"Link!" For a brief moment, he almost wanted to consider releasing—

"Don't listen!"

Link reacted instinctively to that voice, straightening his spine and jerking his head toward Leverrier.

"Walker is out of control! Immobilise him and do not let him open that gate."

Walker…wanted to open the gate?

"Do it now, Inspector Link!"

Link.

Link.

They were all shouting his name.

God help him, just what was he supposed to choose? He wasn't supposed to have to make these decisions. He wasn't supposed to feel this way.

"Brother…"

Startled, he glanced down at Tevak. The seals should be holding…

"Where are you…" She jerked, seals falling away. "Did he kill you—?"

And she wrenched away from him. "Brother!" she screamed. "Allen Walker!"

"Tevak—" But she was already gone. "Stop…damn it, the seals are already—" He couldn't even finish the thought before he saw Tevak activating her hand and rushed towards Walker.

He had no more guardian seals left. Link felt himself move forward when a giant golden sphere also went hurtling towards Walker. As if in slow motion, he watched as Tevak bounced off Timcampi, and then everyone was looking at the golem.

"Timcampi? Huge…" someone murmured.

He felt the urge to cover his face. "We can worry about that later!" he snapped, but then he sensed something behind him—

"Tokusa, no!"

And Howard Link found that he couldn't move as that hand made as if to close around him. He readied himself for the crushing he would receive—

And then Tokusa was gone.

Just…like that. What on earth…

"He…disappeared?" Tevak's voice was soft and lost, drastically different from her earlier tone of voice. It was a tone of voice Link hadn't heard for a long time. "Brother…"

Link could only stare at her and at Allen, too shocked to say anything.

"Brother…" Tevak seemed ready to fall any moment. "Tokusa..Kiredori…Koushi…"

There was…something opening up under Tevak—it was familiar, but Link couldn't place what it was.

"Everyone…don't leave…Tevak alone."

…it had been even longer since she had last referred to herself in third person.

The Earl's Ark.

Link's eyes widened when he finally recognised what was opening up, and he jumped down the ledge, skidding a little.

"Get away from there!" he heard Walker shout.

"Tevak!" He stretched out his hand to clutch her by her shoulder, her hair—anything.

But his hand only closed around empty air.

Brother Lin—

That was the last thing he heard as he let his hand fall to his side. He barely perceived the Earl speaking until the mention of "rules."

"—we must to kill under the 'God' we've chosen tout~ And anything that strays from that path will not be tolerated~ If you seek power, then you must search for 'hearts~'."

God? Hearts?

Only then did he notice Madarao hanging loosely from one of the Noah's grasp.

…were they…all gone? From Tevak's words, it seemed to be the case.

"Oh, and to you who has done nothing but break the rules—"

Everyone looked at Allen, Link included.

"—I will come for you soon~ You can no longer live in that place, can you…?"

And the Noah were gone, just like that.

A deathly silence hung in the air.

He really was…the only one left out of the Crow he had grown up among.

Why did you all...make the choice to be Thirds?

Why?

Leverrier was barking orders at him, orders he found himself mechanically following.

"you can no longer live in that place, can you…?"

No, Allen Walker could not.

"Li—"

He made a sharp cutting motion with his arm. "Anything you say right now can be used against you." He drew out more seals as he bent over Allen.

"Don't…say anything," he found himself whispering.

Don't give me another reason for me to kill you.

But Allen was looking away down at the ground. "Link," he said softly. "Just a little more would have been enough." The Exorcist shook his head. "I wanted you to trust in me. Tokusa—" Here his voice broke. "I'm sorry…"

He clipped the boy on the chin. "Not. another. damn. word." Link hissed out from between his teeth. "If that's all you have to say, I don't want to hear it."

Save your apologies—I want to know what you have to say for yourself first.

Link refused to look at Allen as he hauled him up and began moving towards the Ark. He didn't want to see the emotions running through Allen's eyes, didn't want to think about all the emotions that were running amuck in his mind.

God, it had gone all wrong. And he didn't even know where to start blaming for everything.

TBC


A/N: "Don't give me another reason for me to kill you" –anything after that sentence was written after 202 came out.