Author : Mirumo
Title : The WonderWoman Conundrum - Director's Cut
Rating : PG (maybe a bit of language, though).
Genre : Friendship. Itsy bitsy teeny tiny hints of Shenny.
Length : 745
Disclaimer : Crap, I still don't own Sheldon. I don't own WonderWoman and her super-friends either.
Notes : So, second version of it, with the « Deleted scenes ». I also kept the post-OS note, that I wrote before having the idea of making a shorter version out of this.
"Hey, why don't the superheroes ever date anyone?"
In the middle of a game of Halo, Penny suddenly dropped the question. Sheldon looked at her for a second in the corner of his eye, and seemed to think about it while still playing. Leonard, Raj and Howard were too captivated by the party to even listen to her. The young woman and the theoretical physicist had teamed up against the three boys, and hardly no chance was left to them. Raj was gripping his game controller as if he wanted to destroy it with his bare fingers ; Howard had got up and was jumping hectically on the floor like some sort of unstoppable spring ; Leonard was actually standing up in the armchair, his glasses highly unstable on his nose. The three of them regularly let out various swears. As for them, Sheldon and Penny were comfortably sitting in their respective spots of the couch, having weird one-way conversations (gossips about Eva and Tony's divorce in parallel with techno babble about non-Newtonian fluids), sometimes moving a finger or two, and kicking the guys' asses.
Therefore, after a few minutes of silence, only broken by Howard's insults in Yiddish, Leonard's groans and Raj's squeals, when Penny asked a question about superheroes out of the blue, only Sheldon paid attention to it, the other scientists being way too nervous stuck in the game.
« Actually, Penny, you'll find that a lot of superheroes, although they often have relational issues because of their double identities, have partners. » explained Sheldon without stopping staring at the screen. « In fact, Superman is in a committed relationship with Lois Lane ; Peter Parker has -
- No, » interrupted Penny, « I meant female superheroes : you know, super heroines.
- Oh. Well, indeed, despite being most of time sexually attractive, they are very often emotionally charged, but don't engage in intercourse that much.
- Yeah ... I don't know about you, but I find it kinda sexist. Y'know, Batman can have sex with whatever bimbo he wants, but whenever Harley Quinn wants to have a little romp with the Joker, he always refuses.
- Hmm, certes. If you also consider Poison Ivy, she -
- Not that I want to cut in, » cut in Howard (who had surely started slightly paying attention at « female » and fully listening at « sexually attractive »), in his usual lewd voice, « but if I remember correctly, on the cover of the 205th issue of the first of the « WonderWoman » series, march-April 1972, WonderWoman was straddling some sort of huge phallic shaped missile. I think the symbol was pretty clear! » he ended in a chuckle.
Penny scowled amusingly, as « Pause » read on the screen ; Leonard and Raj had started listening too, stunned their previous positions.
« Yeah ... If I remember correctly, Howard, » she remarked, « it was 1973, not 72, and she was thinking « Suffering Sappho - Unless I can stop this missile - I'll destroy New York! ». Now, I'm no Antic Greece expert, but I believe that Sappho is pretty much the lesbian icon, right? »
Penny raised her eyebrows quite defiantly, a satisfied smile growing on her lips. She threw a quick glance towards Sheldon, who nodded in connivance, then looked back at the guys : in a normal situation, they would have been petrified because she had just owned one of them on a comics subject. But, considering their drifting eyes and stupid smiles, they were just petrified because she had said « lesbian ». She could only imagine they were now picturing WonderWoman getting down on Catwoman, or whatever.
Shaking her head with a smile, she turned back to Sheldon, and raised her right hand, index and pinkie up.
« Queen Penelope, for the win.
- I'd like you to consider my contribution in this -
- Yes. Thank you very much, Moonpie, for telling me about WonderWoman being into girls.
- You surely wouldn't have been able to do this without my help.
- Would you have even thought of doing this? »
The only answer she obtained was a quick resigned glare, before they both turned their attention back to the game. He hit « Play », she hit two buttons, their three adversaries were hit in the face, and « Game Over : Sheldon and Penny Win! » appeared on the screen.
A/N : It was better and shorter in my head, but I got a little carried away. There really was almost only the discussion about WonderWoman, in my mind, but I like to have a clear picture of the scene, you know ; so that I can imagine that it could happen in the show.