A/N: Okay, so I was writing the next update for Reunions & Revelations yesterday and I got this idea. And it wouldn't leave me alone and it just didn't go with the story. So I had to stop writing that, pull up a new document, and get this all down as fast as I possibly could. Perhaps not quality literature, but I just couldn't help myself. Enjoy!
"God damn it!" Catherine Willows strode into the empty CSI locker room, fire in her veins. What is wrong with people? She had just come from an interrogation with a particularly disgusting suspect. A man who had hit on her and then threatened to kill her in the same sentence. Asking if it made her hot. Oh yeah, I'm real hot now, shithead. What a sicko.
Catherine was no stranger to fantasies. But there was a big gap between liking them tall, dark, and handsome and liking them bound, drowned, and soaked in honey. How do people even come up with this crap? She was asking, but she didn't really want to know. Frustrated, she kicked the toe of her heeled boot hard into the nearest locker.
"Shit!" She hopped in a circle and sat down fast on the bench, massaging her foot and cursing her stupidity. Then she heard it. The distinct creak of a locker slowly swinging open and a rustling of paper. She looked around. Was somebody in there? Carefully, she got up and hobbled around the other side.
Shrugging, she turned to head back to the bench. And stopped. The door to the locker she had kicked was slightly ajar. And something had slid to floor beneath it. Ever the curious CSI, she forgot the pain in her foot and bent down to inspect the item. It was a magazine. She cocked an eyebrow as she took in the cover and fought a smile. A porno magazine. And not just any porno magazine. She straightened, looking over the cover.
It was of two women. The first one had cropped auburn hair under a patrol officer's hat. She had on a blue tie that ran between her rather large and free swaying breasts and a hip holster that ran around her waist, complete with gun and handcuffs. Aside from the riding crop in one hand, that was all she wore. Her expression was one of mock disdain as she looked down on the other woman. This one was on her knees, ass out, just as scantily clad in nothing but a strapless and straining black bustier, naughty secretary glasses, and spike heels. Her long strawberry tresses fell down her back as she looked up in pleading desperation.
Catherine's eyes moved up to the top of the page and over the text written on either side. Sapphic Reds. Red hot fire-haired lesbians! Feisty! Will Ginger and Cherry meet their match in sexy starlet Lexi Scarlett? Find out INSIDE!
Catherine fought to keep from laughing out loud. Well, well, well. Apparently, one of the boys had a dirty little secret. Not really all that surprised, she looked up to see whose locker it had fallen out of and who she would be teasing mercilessly for the next few days. Her jaw dropped. Not one of the boys. Not a boy at all. Sara. Sara Sidle. Oh, my God. Catherine glanced once again at the magazine in her hands and then back at the locker. She looked at the whole length of lockers to make sure she was right. She was. Oh, my God. Was that even possible? Looking at it in a new light now, Catherine flipped through the pages of the magazine, unable to stop her curiosity.
Redheads and women. Those were the two common threads in all the pictures. Redheads posing with trucks, in gardens, on tables, in cages. Redheads having sex- lesbian sex, in every position possible, including a couple that Catherine had never even thought of before. That's a new one, she thought, tilting her head at a woman hanging from a chandelier clearly in the throws of a very powerful orgasm. She looked at all the pictures, still not quite able to take it in. This is Sara's magazine? Did I say 'Oh, my God'? She paused on the last page, twirling one of her pale orange locks in her hand as she wondered idly if her legs could even bend that way anymore.
Catching a glimpse of her own apricot hair out of the corner of her eye, her eyes narrowed. Sara liked women. More specifically, Sara apparently liked…redheads. Catherine glanced down at her breasts, then back at her hair. Then she sighed dramatically. Don't go there, Catherine. She slowly closed the mag and absentmindedly looked at the back page. What she saw just about made her eyes pop out of her head. A moment later, she heard voices and reflexively flipped the magazine over. But she didn't have enough time to stash it before Greg and Sara walked into the room. She froze.
"And then," Greg was saying through a very full mouth, "his face goes completely blank. It was like a robot took over." He grabbed another fistful of popcorn from the bag in Sara's hands. "Regulations clearly stipulate," he imitated Ecklie's drone, "that all personal effects- including your boxer briefs, Mr. Sanders-" His gaze swept the room as they approached his locker and he too stopped short, eyes wide.
"What?" Sara's mouth was also full of popcorn. "What is it?"
But Greg couldn't answer as he had apparently inhaled a kernel of popcorn and was turning purple. He doubled over coughing for a moment and then stood ramrod straight. He pointed violently at Catherine, and then fled the room in search of water or perhaps anywhere else to be.
Sara, who had had her eyes on Greg until that moment, turned to look at the still frozen Catherine Willows. She had just stuffed another handful of popcorn passed her lips when she saw what the other woman was holding. The popcorn promptly exploded from her mouth like a volcanic eruption, and the bag of popcorn hit the ground in the following silence.
Catherine now understood the expression 'deer in the headlights' better than she ever had before. She and Sara wore matching faces of horror and panic. For a long moment, neither woman spoke. Neither moved. Then there was a crunch of popcorn underfoot as Sara's boots crossed the floor.
She stared down at the magazine, and then up into wide blue eyes. "Uh…" she tried to find the words, but they wouldn't come. She felt like she should explain or even apologize, but instead the silence just yawned on and on in front of them. God, what she must be thinking right now. Come on, Sara, say something! Say anything! "Why were you snooping in my locker?"
"What?" The question flustered the older woman and she stepped back a pace, waving a hand. "Nooo, nooo. I- no. I wasn't. I mean, I didn't. I mean…I kicked it." In her agitation, she imitated the kick of the locker. "And it opened. And this uh…you know, it just fell out. I was just going to put it back, but then I saw it, and it was there. Just there. And I looked. And it was your locker and it was lesbians and did you know about sex on chandeliers? I'd never thought of that. I mean, I don't have one, and even if I did- but that's not the point. Is this- uh…is this really yours?" Catherine turned the question on the brunette in an attempt to keep herself from sounding like a complete idiot. Probably way too late for that.
Now it was Sara's turn to babble. "Not really. Sort of. Yes, technically yes. Its in my locker. But I didn't buy it. I don't ever buy that stuff. I never have- I swear. It was- it was a gift."
Catherine waited for her to elaborate.
"A gag gift, if you know what I mean. From Greg. I sort of told him…well, it doesn't matter what I told him. He thought it would be funny. And it was. Up until…now. Now I'm going to kill him." She looked off into space, calculating. "With something heavy." She looked at Catherine again, "So…yeah. I'm going to go do that now. If you could just not tell anyone about, you know, that. And keep from calling the police for about a half hour- I'd like a decent shot at a getaway. Okay…bye." With that, she turned to go, crunching once again over the popcorn, and leaving a very confused redhead in her wake, still holding the magazine.
As the brunette reached the door, however, Catherine found her voice. "Sara?"
The younger woman spun in her tracks, looking like she really wished the world would just swallow her up. "Hmm?"
"Uh, what did you…" her voice was tentative as she fingered the back of the magazine, "What did you tell Greg? To make him give you this?"
Sara paused and then straightened. "That's sort of personal, Catherine."
Catherine nodded. "I know." She took a deep breath and continued, "I was just wondering if it would explain…this." She flipped the magazine over and displayed the back to the taller woman.
Sara visibly paled. "I'll kill him," she muttered. "I'll destroy him. I will pulverize him into tiny pieces and then I'll-" She looked up at Catherine and crossed the room back to her once more. "Cath, I am sooo sorry. I didn't, I would never- you have to believe me. I did not even know that was there."
Catherine looked down to the paper in her hands, where her very own face had been cut out and pasted onto the body of a naked woman riding a horse. She couldn't quite take it in. "I believe you Sara, but…what did you say to him?"
"Shit." Sara wiped her mouth nervously. Now what was she supposed to say? Try the truth, genius. At least Catherine didn't seem to be completely horrified.
"Okay, here's the thing." She met blue eyes with brown. "You are a very talented CSI. And it is very important that you understand that I respect you immensely. And not just at work- as a person, a mother, everything. But you of all people should know that you're also a very attractive woman." Sara started to fidget under the redhead's level stare. "I have tried so hard not to think of you like that. But nothing works!" She threw her arms out to her sides. "You're just…there!" She echoed Catherine's earlier words. "And hot! It's like- crap!" She put her head in one hand, still gesturing with the other. "That didn't come out right. What I meant to say is that you're uh, I'm, uh…attractive."
"You're attractive?" Catherine was now watching this display in disbelief.
"No! I mean you're attractive and I am attracted to… you. Technically. But don't worry. I have it completely under control- been dealing with it for years, really. So I can be totally professional, you won't even know, I'll just-"
Catherine's brain snapped back to reality. "Years? Did you just say years, Sara?"
The redhead cocked a strawberry eyebrow. "Yes, Sara, you did."
The younger CSI's shoulders sagged. "Okay, I did. But-"
"No but!" Catherine shoved the magazine back into Sara's locker and turned to face her again. "Sara, if you've been attracted to me for years, why didn't you say something?"
The brunette's eyes darted from side to side. No escape. "Because…I like my face the way it is? And my life and my job and my dignity?"
"Do you really think I'd hit you? For that?"
"You look like you're about to hit me right now."
"I am!" Catherine lightly slapped the other woman's upper arm. "Ah! How can you be so stupid? You told Greg before you told me?"
Sara had no answer to that.
"Why didn't you just ask me out like a normal person?"
"Because? Because why?"
Catherine was nearly shouting by this point, but now Sara shouted right back. "Because you're you!"
"You're Catherine Goddamn Willows, for Christ's sake! You're untouchable! And even if you weren't, you're straight! And I'm me! I don't get to go out with you!"
"I just explained it to you!"
"Yeah, well your explanation sucks!" She slapped her arm again.
"Okay, fine! Have it your way! Catherine, will you please go out with me?"
"Yes! I will! Can't freaking wait!"
"Great! I'll make reservations! I'll order champagne!"
"Good! Six o'clock!"
"Fine! See you then!"
With that, Catherine stalked out of the room in a huff. It took her about four seconds to realize what had just happened. She halted her steps and turned right around and back into the locker room. Sara was already after her, halfway to the door. Without a word, they wrapped their arms around each other as their lips met in a fervent first kiss. For long moments they reveled in the intimate contact until Catherine sighed and melted into the brunette's arms. She looked up at her with intense and adoring eyes. Then she lifted up on her toes and gave Sara a softer and somewhat shorter kiss.
"See you at six."
And Sara was left alone, grinning to an empty room with one word in her head.
What did you think? Was it funny? Was it cute? Come on, guys, review! Tell me how I did- you never know what will inspire me to write that next update!
P.S. It is important to note that I was meant to be a redhead. I was born with red hair, but it all fell out when I was a baby and grew in dirty blonde. But its red again now and shall remain so for a very long time!