Fandom: Penguins of Madagascar
Characters: Titular Penguins, Hans the Puffin, Dr. Blowhole, Marlene, Phil, Mason, Julien, mentions of Manfredi and Johnson(Shutup), Amarillo Kidd
Disclaimer: Not mine. I'll give them back clean and de-humanized when I'm done, mm-kay?
Warnings: AU, Humanized, slightly strong language, dark in spots, violence, threats, slash? Marlene making fun of how Private talks
Author's note: *cough* Well. This is embarrassing, isn't it? Yeah, I know. Human!Penguins of Madagascar. I can't get enough, I s'pose. They took over my brain.
Additional Note: Their group is the "Penguins" and part of an organization run by the UN. They can still get banned from countries though. *coughDenmarkcough*
"Blasted Søpapegøjer. He just had to bug everything, didn't he? Kowalski. Status report," Skipper said as he sipped at his coffee.
"Other than being completely baffled by the fact that you can pronounce that, I've nearly finished debugging everything," Kowalski stated as he ticked off the second to last box. "Oh dear."
"The only room left to debug... is Private's."
Hysterical laughter filled the main room of their HQ. "S-stop! Stop, mercy, mercy!"
"Rico, be nice to the kid," Skipper said, interrupting the fun. Rico dropped the foot he was tickling, and Private started to breathe.
"Thank you Skippah."
Kowalski basically considered himself straight. For the most part. Of course, he never really tested that. So when Rico, freaked out by the fact that Private and Skipper were still in the hospital due to injuries, wordlessly asked if he could spend the night in his room, Kowalski said yes.
Private rarely got sick. So rarely that Rico, being his big brother figure, could only remember about half a dozen times that he was actually sick. One of those times was due to food poisoning, so Rico's pretty sure that didn't count. Of course, another time he had to be hospitalized because he was so sick. And Rico's certain that cancels out the food poisoning time.
Rico clicked his tongue against one of his molars and gave a short, harsh laugh. An alternate reality where he didn't have that blasted dog attack him, making his family move to the middle of nowhere and he could actually talk.
Kowalski had some pretty cracked up theories, that was for sure.
Kowalski casually discarded an Eight of Hearts. Two hands immediately dove for the pile, their respective owners both claiming "Rummy!" One was raspy, yet excited – the other, fierce. "What did I just do?" Kowalski asked Skipper.
"You just caused the end of the game. Those two are going to have a ninja battle over the right for the trio of eights you just laid!" Skipper avidly watched the resulting war and Rico claimed the pile and somehow managed to go out the next round.
Due to a caffeine deficiency, Kowalski is very scary before his fourth cup of coffee. He's also a very deadly shot.
"Did he just...?"
"I'm afraid so, Private."
"But..K'walski, Rico doesn't just walk into pitfalls like that. He's not blind like you are."
All four of them liked sitting in the sun. Just not when Julien was around.
Julien was strange – he considered the four part of his "kingdom." Phil and Mason said it was because he was insane, but that could be coincidence. Right?
Rico hacked another stick of dynamite from his gut. Just another day on the job.
Kowalski tipped Rico's chin up with one of his fingers. "I'm not being too forward, am I?" Rico shook his head. Not a chance of being too forward, in Rico's opinion. He didn't want this screwed up – the way Kowalski was smiling was causing butterflies to flit in his stomach. "Alright." Grasping Rico's chin gently, sliding his thumb across the old scar, Kowalski captured Rico's lips with his own.
"APPLY THE BRAKES, APPLY THE BRAKES!" Okay, so it was a bad idea to try to teach Private to drive on the right side of the road. Crazy Brits, driving on the wrong side of the street. Teaching Rico hadn't been this bad, what were they thinking?
"There's something between them, Skippah. I can feel it." Sixteen-year-old Private had his arms crossed, wrapped around his stomach. Biting his lip, he continued, "It's like an entity, or something. I know I can't do anything about it. I just gotta let it be."
"Buck up, soldier. They'll figure it out." It was a small act, but it cheered Private. To Skipper, that's all that mattered.
Skipper flitted in and out of consciousness. Slowly, very slowly, memories of the past handful of days pelted him. Manfredi and Johnson! Dr. Blowhole! He had to leave. The Danish authorities would be after him. Had to... had to move.
It hurt too much to move. Skipper was on the verge of blacking out again, but he barely heard someone talking to him. They said, "Easy, Skipper, easy. I'll get you out. Don't worry."
"Alright me, commencing Operation: Move Recycling in three... two...one... Now!"
Stilling caused the others stop as well. Rico twitched once and rasped, "Dogs," causing Skipper to look at him like he was nuts and Kowalski and Private to look on in sympathy.
That glare was starting to irritate Private. He managed to ignore it and continue his inspection of his "friend" Amarillo Kidd. "Don't look at me like that. It was your brilliant idea to come to New York City in January. It's cold."
Kowalski weighed his options. On one hand, his team was injured in some back alley with Blowhole's minions waiting to kill them. On the other, he was captured and in the same room as Blowhole, with the doctor waiting for his word to either command the minions or inject him with something. Making his decision, Kowalski breathed in and out.
"Don't hurt them." Dr. Blowhole just smiled and held up a syringe.
Rico moved, subconsciously situating himself between his injured teammates and the brainwashed and crazy Kowalski. How was he going to defeat Kowalski without seriously injuring him? Added on to that was defeating Blowhole. It wasn't going to be pretty.
"Drop the croissant and you don't get hurt." Behind his glasses, Kowalski's eye twitched a little. Hans Søpapegøjer showing up in the middle of breakfast to steal his food was not something to be tolerated. He kept the gun's sights leveled on Søpapegøjer's torso and plucked the helpless pastry from the offending Dane's hand. "Don't steal my food. Steal somebody else's."
Kowalski glared at the gnome. The gnome just stared back with its enigmatic facial expression. Skipper looked between the two. "Kowalski, leave the gnome alone, it didn't do anything."
"Not yet, Skipper, not yet it hasn't. Gnomes are evil."
"Describe the scenario for me, Marlene," Private said. Marlene just laughed. "What? What's so funny?"
In between fits of laughter, Marlene replied, "You! You said sen-AR-io. It's sen-air-Io. That's so funny." Private was not amused.
24 Leg pain
Kowalski didn't realize that what he thought was simply a pulled muscle in his leg was something torn. He had moved wrong and landed on his side, right leg in an unholy amount of pain. It kept him out of several missions, including the one where Manfredi and Johnson were killed and Skipper was traumatized for life.
As far as Kowalski was concerned, it was all his fault.
"Anybody else wanting to bet? No? Well then...," Private said, spinning the roulette wheel. "Black 17. It's yours, sir." He pushed the stack of betting chips towards the young man wearing a cowboy hat.
"Thank ye kindly, Mr. Tux," the young man said, lifting up the brim of his hat.
Private narrowed his eyes. "Amarillo Kidd. I wondered if I'd see you here." Inwardly, Private was slightly worried that the Texan would blow his cover, but Kidd only winked.
"If possible, I'd like to talk to you after your shift," Kidd stated. Private nodded. The look in Kidd's eyes had nothing to do with it. Nothing at all.
So. by this point, I'd normally ask you to review, but we all know that you probably won't. So. I hope you enjoyed, and will consider reading more, or reading this again. It's all the same to me.
But please, no flames, okay? and if you do, I'm gonna use them to melt the ice from that nasty storm a couple weeks ago.
In case you didn't notice, 'Søpapegøjer' is Hans the Puffin. I used an online translator to find out what "puffin" is in Danish.
Oh, and Situating is a continuation of Vein.
(Reviews would be loved.)