Legolas humor! That poor, poor elf. Set during TTT, right after Aragorn comes back from apparent death.
Legolas was nearly bouncing in his good mood. Aragorn had just returned from supposed death, and Gimli had finally given in to Legolas, and was going to learn how to handle a set of throwing knifes.
He turned a sharp corner, nearly running into a small group of soldiers.
He apologized and went on his way, only stopping when he heard cat calls from behind him, as well as a voice calling out, "You go baby!"
Puzzled, he turned back towards the fighters, who were less brave now that he was facing them.
"Why do you call me 'baby'?" He asked inquisitively. "I assure you, I am no child. I have been on this earth longer than your great grandparent's grandparents, yet you call me baby. I do not understand."
The soldier, who was clearly the leader of the group, laughed nervously.
"Well, um, you know how, uh, how, humans take different, um, lovers?" He stuttered out.
Legolas nodded seriously.
"Well, it's like, like, um, like a mating ritual! Yeah, that's it!" Cried the man, relieved he had found an explanation for the elven creature.
"So." Legolas started slowly, "You associate the term for a child to another person you would like to have sex with."
The soldier, unsure of what to say, responded with a "Yeah, sure."
"Are all humans so pedophilic?" Legolas inquired.
The mans eyes widened, and the humans turned and ran off, much to Legolas surprise.
He went off, noticeably less bouncy than before, and sent strange looks to any men who walked to close to him.
After that, Legolas never could look at a human the same way again.
Review? Please? Sorry, there would have been more, except my brother kept coming in to annoy me. So, yeah.