Hey guess I took this story over from the author Carl who wrote If Only I Ever Could so I guess this could be called the continued part of the story. Tell me what you think reviews would be awesome thanks

Nobody said it was easy

Its such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

I'm going back to the start

The Scientist-Coldplay

Dean stood there by the small creek and watched her leave him to be alone. He stared behind her, even though she was long gone, still not believing that she had actually apologized.

Jo Harvelle was never sorry ... she was cocky and stubborn and annoying at times but she never apologized. But she had said sorry to him, and Dean felt numb. It was a first in a long time that he had been apologized before from something he had said, instead of a slap to the face or a rude remark.
So when he heard Jo saying it to him, he expected for her to lash out and start another argument. Dean had waited for the hit, the rude remarks because deep down inside he knew he shouldn't have gotten angry with her.

And then she stared at him, humiliated and hurt and more vulnerable than Dean had ever seen her. The awkwardness of the silence passed and before Dean could reach out – she stormed away, her face hooded.

Dean sighed, glancing wearily down at the demon knife, the blade catching the sun, flashing white before his eyes. And the unexpected memories charged through his mind of the first time they met.

"Sam, are you sure this is the right place it looks deserted?" Dean asked his brother as they walked into the dark bar.

Sam nodded his head. "Ya, this is the address dad left us." He said as they walked in the 'so-called abandoned bar' and looked around. "I'm going to look around back you stay here and check out the inside."

Dean laughed and looked around. He had been alone for only ten minutes when he felt something hard being shoved against his back.

He groaned. You've got to be joking."Please tell me that's a shotgun..." He prayed, swallowing hard.

"Nope, I'm just happy to see you," said a female voice behind him. Dean rolled his head back wearily. His movement caused to be shoved even harder. "Hands up and don't move."

"No moving. Got ya," Dean repeated. He sighed. "You know you shouldn't put a gun right in the middle of some ones back…it makes it too easy to do this." He said as he spun around suddenly and snatched the shotgun from his captive's hands.

He smiled victoriously at the pretty blonde girl. Damn, she hot- Dean thought before her fist collected with his face. Momentarily stunning the Winchester, she snatched her gun back, glaring at him for catching her off guard.

Dean smiled at the memory thinking about how that first impression of Jo had stuck with him forever. Literally, for the first three days, he was sure she had broken his nose. The Jo he met back then was tough and a smartass, young and naive reminding Dean of almost himself. He was sure if he had upset Jo back then, she would no doubt punch him again.

But Jo wasn't like that anymore, proof of her apology towards him earlier Jo had changed, even though she was still hot headed, she was clearly struggling with a losing reality. Dean mused, pocketing the knife and headed back towards the house.


Jo burst through the Bobby's front door and slammed it behind, causing the old hunter to look up behind the desk in his library. "What's with the racket?" he asked goaded, the sudden noise interrupting his afternoon reading. Jo answered back with a venomous glare and sauntered up the rickety stairs.

How could she slip up like that?

She stalked up to the guest bedroom and slammed another door behind her. Jo felt like she was slipping, losing control. To be honest, she didn't know how this was going to happen. How was she supposed to convince him to hunt again?

I can't just take him away from Lisa and Ben, she thought disconsolately to herself, pacing the room again. A action she now does whenever she was thinking about something. Ben, she started to love that little kid like he was her own brother. And she didn't want to hurt him anymore then she already did. Jo sat down on the side of the double bed, miserable.

What was she going to do?


When Dean walked into the house, he felt a sharp pain in his shins as Bobby rammed him with his wheelchair.

"You idjit!" Bobby shouted at him. "What the hell did you say to her?"

He backed up his wheelchair, ready to ram the young hunter again. Dean jumped back in confusion and panic. "WOAH! WOAH! I didn't say anything to her!"

"Yer better not be lyin', boy," Bobby growled, hands on the wheels ready to strike. "She came in here bringin' the walls down."

"Where is she?" Dean asked.

Bobby nodded at the stairs, sighing. He would be up there, trying to see what was wrong with her if it wasn't for the fact he couldn't walk. "Upstairs. In her room."

Dean made a step towards the staircase but Bobby wheeled in front of him, scrutinizing the Winchester. "Don't go poking the bear, Dean."

Dean made a face. "Sure. OK."

Bobby rammed into his shins and Dean cried out angrily. "I mean it. If she comes down here more upset than she is, my wheel is coming down hard on your ass."

"Alright! Alright! I didn't realise that I wasn't allowed to show concern in this house," Dean grumbled. Like he was going to argue with her now. Dean just wanted to check on her. He warily limped up the stairs, the eyes of the cobra watching.


She heard a knock at the door and looked up. She realized she had been crying.

"It's open." She hastily wiped the tears from her eyes with her sleeves. The door creaked open and shut soundlessly as Dean walked carefully up to her.

"Bobby said you were upset." He told her, coming in and sitting down on the bed next to her. The weight shifted and Jo wanted to follow it, to curl up to Dean and lie against him. But she didn't. She couldn't hold onto that thought. Bobby. Of course. She thought bitterly, Dean was the last person she wanted to see at the moment.

"Look Dean..." she muttered, rubbing her temple. "If you're coming in here looking for the reasons why I said what I said... I can't help you." She looked down at the floor. You're not ready.

He looked at her and cleared his throat. He wasn't used to all this feelings stuff ... he never really had gotten used to it with Lisa for the past year. Dean didn't have any advice to help her – I mean sure he had plenty on slamming demons and monsters – but nothing when it came to making someone he loved feel so less ashamed of themselves.

So he said what he believed he thought was the right thing to say.

"I don't blame you Jo," he told her. "Neither does Bobby. I just over react with these things-" so hard to actually confess to it- "- I mean, you appeared out of nowhere, from the dead, how the hell did you think I was going to react? Half the time when I was freaking out about my life, I had you suddenly thrown back in it."

He shook his head, remembering. "But why do you have to suffer like this? Why won't you let Bobby and I help you?"

"That's the story of my life..." she sighed, her eyes darkening.

Dean waited for Jo to finally look at him. When she did manage to tear her eyes from the floor and into the wonderful green eyes of her lover, she saw a reflection of what she had been feeling all this time. Hurt, pain and the guilt that rid her so deeply, to see it staring back at her was enough to make her break. "Please, Jo. Just let us help you."

She shook her head, blonde locks covering her face so he wouldn't see her pain. "No," her voice cracked. "You can't. You and Bobby can't fix this, only I can. I was chosen. I have... to do this."

"Do what?"

"No." She shook her head again.

"Please, Jo. Don't ride this alone."

She was shaking. With so much emotion that Dean had grabbed her shoulders, telling her to calm down. "Stay with me, Joanna."

"What am I supposed to do Dean?" she said, her voice muffled by her hands. "I was sent back here and no one's telling me anything. Nothing is going right. I can't do this."

"Can't do what?"

She swatted his hands away angrily. "Can you stop mothering me?"

Dean sighed angrily. "Fine. You know what? I tried. I'm going to go back to Lisa's in the morning. If you're willing to tell me then, I might be able to help you."

He stood up and walked to her door. Right on time, when Dean was hoping, Jo stood up and snapped, "What the hell? Don't treat me like ... like ..."

"Like what, Jo? What am I treating you like?" he walked up so close to her, she lost her breath.

And then the anger rolled in and she shoved him hard away. "FINE. You want to know what's been bothering me from the start? What's up my ass all the time? You're soul, Dean."

He wasn't expecting that. He was expecting anything but that. "What?"

Jo didn't stop, she continued talking. "That's why I was sent here. And I'm going to tell you what that son of a bitch told me. If I don't get you back into hunting, you die Dean." And so will I...

"Who the hell told you that?" he asked, fists clenching.

"It was in my deal," Jo replied with fire in her eyes. "And that's why I'm so persistent, Dean. I'll be damned if I let you die when I have been brought back."
Then, he started to laugh. It caught Jo off guard that she stammered, her furious facade slipping suddenly. "What's so funny?" she demanded, her heart pumping furiously in her throat.

Dean shook his head, even though he was laughing - he wanted to break something. "You're doing all of this, because you're protecting me? Are you serious?"
"I'm sorry if I'm flattering you, Dean. I didn't know this type of ultimatum was amusing to you."

"Why me Jo?" he said, the laughter fading leaving a bemused look on his face. "Why would the demon's – or angels – have anything on me like that? What will me going back into hunting do for them? I hunt those sons of bitches and they find it rewarding?"

"How the hell would I know? Demon's are a bit slow on the details."

Dean shook his head, not noticing that she took his curiosity a completely different way. "Why you? Why would you make such a stupid deal like that, Jo?"

Jo stared at him, her eyes swimming. "Are you seriously going to ask that?"


She narrowed her eyes, biting the insides of her mouth and clamping her lips shut. If Dean didn't understand it now, he would never realize her feelings from him. She turned her back on him, tears falling down her cheeks. "If you really are that idiotic... then just leave me alone."

There was silence and Jo thought Dean had left her to be alone. Of course. Never trust a Winchester – they always break your heart. She started crying, feeling more ashamed than ever.

Then hands wrapped themselves around her waist, tugging her against his body. His lips brushed against her ear, stubble scratching her cheek. "Joanna Harvelle, I am not an idiot."

She didn't fight him. She closed her eyes. "I thought you didn't..."

His chuckle sent pleasing shivers up her arms. "Then let me make it up to you."

He turned her around and Jo tried to wipe her tears away. Dean's hands gently cupped her face, his eyes staring into hers. His thumb picked up a falling tear and Jo sighed, feeling the warmth of his hands on her. Dean kissed her forehead and Jo squeezed her eyes shut. Stay here, please.

Her eyes fluttered open to find him looking at her again, asking questions within his mind. And Jo nodded, her hands shakily winding their way around his neck, her heart thrumming like the wings of a hummingbird. Don't leave me alone, Dean.

I will never leave you. He leant down, tilting her head back and kissed her.

All their senses left them and the anger and desperation that burned through their bodies wound together so tightly that they couldn't control it. Jo pulled him into her, her mouth against his, tongues lashing together as if it would be the last time they would do something like this. Her heart ached, pouring out through the words, the sweet moans, the whispering desires.

His hands roamed her body, finding their way underneath her top. Closer. His hands fumbled at the back of her bra strap and he chuckled against her mouth. "Damn thing."

Jo bit his bottom lip and he purred beneath her. With one quick movement she pulled her shirt off, as did Dean and flung it to the side. Her hands slid behind her back, unhinging the clips and her lips pressed playfully against his ear. "I'm sure you'll figure out the rest, big boy."

Dean bit her lip back just as teasingly. "Don't test me, woman."

He took her bra off anyway and skin against skin tugged her down to the bed. Her hands grasped his hair, her thighs wrapping around his waist as she felt him pressing against her, kissing her eyes, her mouth, her neck making her go crazy with hunger.

And it was until he stopped at the top of her jeans did he look into her eyes. Asking her the questions whether she dared to trust him. And the temptation of it all made her blush. But he smiled just as slowly as she did. Not tonight. His lips trailed back up to her mouth, kissing he shivering body and encasing her in his arms. "My Joanna," he breathed, loving how she was there underneath him.

My Dean, Jo sighed peacefully. (END OF CHAPTER?)