Author's Note: This takes place after Silly Love Songs, and just hours after the Warblers lose Regionals. I'm borrowing the amazing CP Coulter's houses for Dalton, because I'm not remotely creative and the woman is a genius. If you haven't read Dalton, go do it. She's a Klaine goddess. In this 'verse, yes, Blaine is a junior. Also, normal disclaimer bits, anything you recognize, I don't own. Thank god. I'd probably ruin it.
"It's okay, Wes, really!" David consoled his fellow Warbler.
"No, no, it's not! We're seniors, David! Seniors! This was our last chance to go to Nationals, and we blew it." Wes was visibly upset, but kept his voice low.
"We didn't blow it, okay? New Directions was just better than us." Blaine sighed as he put in his two cents.
"Friggen Rachel Berry. I can't believe she sang Defying Gravity. I knew we should have had Kurt do that Celine Dion song!" Blaine couldn't help himself, when Wes mentioned his friend's name, he looked up, trying to find Kurt's face among the crowd of depressed singers.
"Wes. It's over, okay man? Just go grab a drink and chill. It's not like there's anything we can do about it, so try to have a good time, alright? Jeff and Nick just came back with a bunch of Chinese food, go eat." Taking Wes's hand, David led his friend over to the piles of food and cups in the Windsor kitchen.
Every member of the Warblers were currently piled into the Windsor common room, spilling into the kitchen and small dining area. Other Dalton students were there too (of course all the Windsor boys), lounging on the leather sofas and talking quietly, everyone trying to retain some sort of dignity after the loss. Regionals had been a hard lose for everyone, but Blaine couldn't bring himself to hold it against New Directions. They had done a great job, and with Rachel Berry leading them, they couldn't be stopped. Blaine knew that he and the Warblers had done their best, but their performance wasn't as eye-catching as New Directions' was. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kurt, who was standing tall and proud, not letting the loss get him down. He knew Kurt would be happy for his old glee club, but that he would still be upset about losing.
"Hey, Blaine. You okay?" he smiled his charming smile and nodded at Sean, one of the few freshmen in the Warblers.
"Yeah, Sean, I'm good. I'll be even better after I get some Chinese food, though." He smiled politely at the boy, then turned and walked toward the full table.
"Well, yeah, I'm not too happy about it, but what can you do? What's done is done, and that's it. I feel more bad for the seniors, though, since this was their last shot." Kurt was talking to Eric, another junior. "I mean, we still have next year."
"True. I just wish we had beaten those guys, you know?" Eric frowned.
"I do, but at the same time, I-"
"Can't help but be happy for them, right?" Blaine interrupted, smiling at the two boys in front of him. Kurt's face tightened up, and his smile looked fake now. It was a small, unconscious thing, but Blaine noticed.
"Of course. They were my glee-mates, and if things had been different, I would have been onstage with them. Either way, I'm okay with what happened." Kurt had turned back to Eric, and Blaine felt like he was being dismissed.
"I'll see you guys later, I'm going to go hunt down Wes and David." Eric nodded, and said a quick "see you later" as Blaine left.
He knew he probably deserved it, the way Kurt was treating him. It still stung, though; the cold shoulder, the lack of random text messages and emails sent during class. Blaine knew he had hurt him, but it wasn't intentional; he didn't know how Kurt felt. He knew that Kurt looked up to him (figuratively, since Blaine was a few inches shorter), and that he admired him, but Blaine never knew just how much he actually liked him. And now he felt like an ass. If he had known, he never would have made himself so available, and he would have made his intentions more clear. But, what were his intentions? To help Kurt, definitely, but how? What was he supposed to do to help him? He still wasn't sure. He knew he wanted to be Kurt's friend, but now that he knew how Kurt felt, he wasn't so sure that they could be. He still wanted that friendship, but he wasn't sure that Kurt could stand to be around him without getting angry. Letting out another sigh, he got to the food table.
"Ham-fried rice? Really, David? You're boring. Get more food, or at least get some sweet and sour sauce for it." Wes was trying to convince David to try more food.
"You know I don't really like Chinese food. I'll eat this, and heat up a hot pocket." David shrugged, ignoring the look of shock on his friend's face.
"A hot pocket? A… You're insane." Blaine laughed at the interaction between his two best friends.
"Hey, guys, let me in there. I need some orange chicken." They stepped aside and allowed Blaine to get closer to the table.
"At least I'm eating the damn rice. Just be happy about that." David shoveled a spoonful of rice into his mouth and rolled his eyes at Wes. Blaine laughed silently to himself as he filled a paper plate with orange chicken, a couple egg rolls, and some rice. The trio of Warblers made their way over to one of the few empty sofas, making sure not to spill any of the food. The last time they had a party in the commons (and someone had made a mess), all the Windsor boys had to clean every square inch of the place. They were not going to let that happen again.
"Are you ready for Sherman's test in chem on Monday?" Wes asked the other two, a piece of broccoli on it's way to his mouth.
David's face turned white as Wes mentioned the big test for their AP chem. class. "Oh, crap. I completely spaced it. Think you can help me study tomorrow?"
"Yeah. If you don't pass this test-"
"I know, I know. I fail. I can do it, I can, I just need your help." David turned his face to Wes, trying to use the puppy-dog eyes he usually did. Blaine (sitting in the middle) leaned back, so as not to get caught in the crossfire.
"You're an idiot." Wes said to his friend, before tossing another piece of broccoli in David's face.
"Not cool, man!" David retaliated by grabbing a small handful of his half-eaten rice and throwing it at Wes. Before it could escalate into a full-fledged food fight, Blaine quickly got up and decided to take his food to his room. He wasn't much in the mood for celebrating anyway, seeing as how they hadn't won anything. He got tired of being the happy, upbeat one sometimes. Every once in a while, Blaine needed a break. He was just a few doors down from his dorm, and the halls were blissfully quiet compared to the common room when Blaine heard Kurt's soft voice coming from the slightly open door he just passed; Jeff's room.
"Jeff, I don't know."
"Kurt, trust me. I wouldn't let anything or anyone hurt you." Blaine slowly walked back to the door, standing off to the side in case anyone in the room decided to look out. He knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but he felt like he needed to know what was going on. No matter what had happened (or hadn't happened) between him and Kurt, Kurt was still his friend, and he was still going to look after him.
"Including you?" Kurt's voice sounded different to Blaine; it was deeper, muffled.
"Including me." Blaine heard shuffled footsteps, and peeked his head around the corner; what he saw surprised him. Jeff had his hands on Kurt's face, cupping his jaw and pulling it towards him. Kurt didn't move, and Jeff took the opportunity to gently kiss him. Blaine couldn't believe what he was seeing, he didn't even know that Jeff liked Kurt!
"Wait, wait a second." Kurt sounded breathless as he pulled back a little, his eyes hooded and full of some sort of emotion that Blaine couldn't really place.
"I'm sorry, Kurt, I-" Jeff moved his hands from Kurt's face, and started to back away.
"No, it's fine, Jeff, I just… That was my first real kiss. It surprised me, is all." Blaine had to strain to hear Kurt speak. "I really like you, Jeff." Kurt reached over to the blonde-haired boy in front of him, holding Jeff's hands in his own. Kurt leaned forward and kissed Jeff, and this time it wasn't as chaste. Blaine felt strange, almost sick. He turned away from the door, his head swimming with the sight of his two friends kissing, and walked quickly to his room.
His door slammed behind him once he was safe in the dorm room. He looked at the food on his plate, and suddenly wasn't hungry anymore. Dropping the food in the trashcan by his desk, he thought of the day when Kurt had admitted his feelings about Blaine. It wasn't that long ago, but that day was one to remember; he had gotten the Warblers to help him in serenading his crush at the time, Jeremiah. It had blown up in his face, and he was feeling really down about it. He and Kurt were in line to get coffee when he started moping about, getting angry about all the Valentine's things in the shop. That was when Kurt said that he thought Blaine was going to sing to him… He didn't think he could feel like more of an idiot at that moment. His friend, one of his best friends, in fact, had these feelings for him, and he couldn't tell. He hadn't known what to say, so he just tried to be honest. He told Kurt that he was new at this dating thing, too, and didn't know what he was doing. He told Kurt how much his friendship meant to him, and he didn't want to ruin it. And Kurt just smiled and made a quip about When Harry Met Sally, claiming the role of Sally for himself. Blaine smiled, grateful for Kurt, when he realized something. "Don't they get together in the end?" Kurt hadn't responded, just smiled and ordered their coffees for them. It was in that moment that Blaine had really appreciated Kurt, and the fact that Kurt wouldn't make it awkward for them. Blaine just went back to being his usual dapper self, and tried to forget about Jeremiah.
The problem now was that he didn't know what was wrong with him. He should be happy for Kurt. He should want to smile and congratulate Kurt. He shouldn't want to throttle Jeff. He should definitely not want to storm in there and yell at Jeff. He hadn't even asked Kurt if he could kiss him, he just kissed him. Didn't he realize what had happened with Karofsky? Or had Kurt not told him? Blaine shook his head, trying to clear up his thoughts. Leaning back on his pillow (Dalton blue, of course), he kicked off his shoes and tried to relax. He steadied his breathing (he didn't realize how worked up he had gotten), and focused on the good of the situation. Kurt needed someone besides Blaine to talk to. Kurt deserved a boyfriend who would be good to him, and Jeff was a good guy. Kurt needed to be happy, and Blaine couldn't do that, but Jeff could. He was trying to think of more good things when there was a soft knock at his door.
"Come in, Kurt." Blaine knew how Kurt knocked. The door opened, and Kurt stepped in, looking like he was glowing.
"Hi, Blaine. What's up, are you sick?" Kurt had noticed the food sitting in the trashcan, and how Blaine was sitting; his right arm over his face, his left arm across his stomach, and his legs curled up under himself. He looked uncomfortable.
"I'm fine." Blaine sat up, crossed his arms over his chest (which felt tight, but he didn't know why), and scooted farther up on his bed to make room for Kurt, who was on his way to sit down next to him.
"You sure? You don't look like you feel okay. Was the Chinese food gross?" Blaine noticed that Kurt's lips were more red than usual, and his face looked flushed.
"N-no, I just didn't really feel like eating anymore. Tired. How are you?" he smiled at his friend.
"Well, that's kind of why I came over here. You know you're one of my best friends, and you're basically the only person here I can talk to." Kurt started rambling. "I mean, I know I have other friends here, like David and Wes and Nick and Sean and Eric and –"
"Kurt." Blaine interrupted. "Just tell me what you want to tell me. Don't be nervous, just say it. I thought we agreed that we could tell each other everything?" he placed his left hand over Kurt's right one, trying to get his friend to focus.
"Sorry, I'm just out of it right now. Something happened and I don't know what to think about it, or how to feel about it. Ugh, and now I'm nervous again and I don't-"
"Kurt." Kurt looked at Blaine, his eyes worried. "Just tell me." Blaine watched as Kurt took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and exhaled.
"Jeff kissed me." Kurt's eyes were still closed, but he smiled slightly.
"Oh?" Blaine tried not to let any emotion into his voice. Kurt needed him, he couldn't not be there for him.
"Yeah. He uh, he just kissed me. And I let him. And then I kissed him back." Kurt opened his eyes and smiled bigger.
"Wow. So, I take it you like him?" Blaine let go of Kurt's hand, running his own through his hair.
"Jeez, Blaine, lay off the gel. You look like Cameron Diaz." Kurt laughed, and Blaine realized what he must have done to his carefully gelled hair.
"Shut up, you. Now talk." Blaine tried to smooth the mess on top of his head, but gave up after a couple seconds. He'd just be getting in the shower in a few minutes, anyway, no reason to try to make it look good for Kurt. (Where did that come from?)
"Well, yeah, I guess I do like him. I mean, we've been hanging out quite a bit lately, and we have a lot in common, but I didn't realize how he felt about me until tonight." He was still smiling.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Blaine asked, keeping his voice even.
"To be honest, I didn't really know. He'd never really been on my radar, but something changed tonight. Did you know that he knows my favorite designer?" Kurt beamed. Blaine knew how Jeff knew about Kurt's favorite designer: he told him.
"What else does he know?"
"What do you mean?" Kurt asked, confused.
"Did you tell him about Karofsky?" Blaine's voice was low, careful. He didn't want to upset him.
"No. I'm not that comfortable letting him know that just yet." Kurt looked down at his hands, folded on his lap.
"But you're comfortable enough to kiss him." Blaine couldn't stop the words as they came out of his mouth.
"Blaine, that's different." Kurt's voice had an edge to it, one that Blaine knew enough to be worried. He still couldn't help himself from saying what he said next.
"So it's okay to make out with him, but it's not okay to tell him about the guy who threatened to kill you."
Shock and hurt crossed Kurt's face, and he stood up.
Blaine stood up too, and reached his hands out for Kurt's. Kurt backed away.
"Kurt, I'm sorry, I really am, I just-"
"You're jealous. That's what this is. You're jealous, Blaine Anderson." Nodding to himself, Kurt turned to leave.
"Jealous? Of what? I'm your friend, Kurt, I'm trying to watch out for you." Blaine walked toward Kurt, who had his hand on the doorknob.
"That I'm seeing someone and you're not. That someone likes me, and I like him back. You're jealous because Jeremiah rejected you, and you're alone while I might have someone. Jesus, Blaine. I'll tell Jeff about Karofsky when I'm ready. Kissing him and telling him about the scariest day of my life are two very different things, and I'm sorry if I don't want to run Jeff off just yet. Goodnight." With that, Kurt walked out of Blaine's room and slammed the door.
Blaine stared at the space where Kurt had just been for a few seconds before what happened hit him. "Ugh!" he exclaimed as he stalked over to his dresser. "What the hell?" He wasn't sure how he had gotten himself into this situation. He should be happy for Kurt, not angry. He wasn't angry at Kurt, no, but he wasn't really angry at Jeff. This was confusing. He was in the process of searching for some sweatpants when he heard the door open.
"Man, you missed it. David almost burned the kitchen down!" Wes walked into their room and shut the door behind him. "He put the chicken chow mein container on the stove, and somehow turned it on. Thank god for Jeff, he poured his soda on it before it really got going." Wes laughed and walked over to his bed.
"Good for Jeff." Blaine grabbed his old Ohio State sweats and a black t-shirt and slammed the drawer.
"Whoa, dude, what's wrong?" Wes paused in taking off his shoes to stare at his roommate.
"Nothing. I'm just tired." Blaine walked away from Wes, right into their shared bathroom.
"Okay…" Wes rolled his eyes and finished changing out of his uniform. He knew Blaine pretty well, and knew that whatever was going on, he'd deal with in his own time.
Inside the bathroom, Blaine was brushing his teeth, trying not to think of that twisted feeling in the pit of his stomach. Maybe Kurt was right, maybe he was just jealous. After all, he hadn't ever really dated anyone, and here was Kurt, new to the school, new to the Warblers, and was apparently kind of dating one of them. It seemed like Blaine had it all going for him, but he had to admit, it got kind of lonely being single, especially when most of his friends were attached. Having Kurt in his life was a nice break, another gay kid who had gone through hell, who Blaine could help out and mentor. Kurt was funny, smart, had a killer voice, and was a great person. Blaine really liked having him around, and yeah, it had gotten awkward since Kurt's confession, but they could still be friends, right? He finished brushing his teeth and got into the shower, turning the hot water all the way up (made it easier to get the gel out).
He showered quickly, not wanting to stay in there too long. Wes had a habit of trying to break down the door if Blaine took too long, and he didn't want to deal with not having a bathroom door again; that was the worst month of his time at Dalton.
"Feel better?" Wes asked as Blaine trudged back into their room.
"Yeah." Blaine tossed his dirty clothes into his hamper, and sat on his bed.
"Y'know, I always forget just how insane your hair is. Do you ever consider not putting all that gel in?"
Blaine grabbed his glasses off of his nightstand, sliding them on. He hated wearing contacts, but he didn't like the way the glasses looked with his uniform. "Sometimes. But at least with the gel it stays in one place and I don't look like a mop." He picked up a book he had left on the bed earlier (John Barrowman's I Am What I Am), leaned back into the pillows, and started to read.
"So, um, you going to tell me what's up?" Wes's voice was quiet, but he was still sitting on his bed, facing his roommate. Blaine sighed, and sat the book down again.
"Jeff kissed Kurt." Blaine said, his voice careful.
"What? Oh, man, I knew Jeff liked him! David owes me 20 bucks." Wes laughed and reached for his phone.
"You knew?" Blaine was confused.
"Well, yeah. Jeff's always finding a reason to talk to Kurt, they're always walking together in the halls, and Jeff even offers to carry Kurt's bag. Oh, David's going to be so pissed, I keep winning these bets." Wes started texting, a wide smile on his face. "Wait, you didn't know?" Wes looked up, seeing Blaine's hurt face.
"No, I didn't. I mean, they've been hanging out a lot lately, but I didn't know that they liked each other." He shrugged.
"Are you okay with that? I know you and Kurt kind of had a thing." Wes's voice was quiet now, his phone sitting next to him.
"Kurt and I never had a 'thing', alright? He told me he thought the song for Jeremiah was actually going to be for him, but we've never… We're friends. That's it." Blaine felt his face go red, and was grateful for the dim light in the room. Why was he blushing, anyway? He was telling the truth, he and Kurt were just friends; he didn't feel that way about Kurt.
"So what's wrong, then? If you and Kurt were never seeing each other, and there's nothing between you guys, what's the problem?" Wes asked.
Blaine was quiet for a minute before he spoke. "There's not really a problem, I just worry about Kurt. After everything that happened to him back at McKinley, I don't want anything bad to happen here."
"What do you mean? Are you talking about the thing with that football player?"
"No one here is going to bully Kurt or give him a hard time about dating Jeff. You know that." Wes tried to be reassuring.
"I know, but that's not what I mean. Kurt left McKinley because of a lot of different things that went on with that football player, and he came here because he knew he'd be safe. And yeah, he's safe here, but I don't know how he'd react if the thing with him and Jeff ended badly. You remember when Lance and Parker dated last year, right?" Wes nodded. "I don't want Kurt to go running back to McKinley because of a bad breakup. It's awkward as hell between the two of them, and I know that if it wasn't for the hell Parker would get from his parents, he would have asked to go back to his old high school. I really don't want Kurt to feel uncomfortable here, because I know he'd go back to McKinley, and that would not end well." Blaine tried to stop himself from imagining what would happen to Kurt if he ever went back there; Karofsky would make sure that Kurt shut up about the kiss for good…
"Blaine, Kurt's a big boy. He can handle himself. I know you worry about him, but he'll be fine. Even if the Kurt/Jeff thing goes sour, I'm sure they'll be fine. It's not like we've never had two Warblers date and break up before." Wes sat back on his bed and pulled a blanket over himself. "They'll be fine. Kurt will be fine. You will be fine. I'm turning off the light, you might want to get your little book light thing. Good night, Blaine." Wes scooted down his bed and pulled the blanket up to his chin, then reached out for the light switch on the wall by his bed. Blaine considered getting his book light out from his nightstand, but decided against it. He needed to sleep after the disaster that was Regionals, and he needed to get the situation with Jeff and Kurt off of his mind. He set his book on the nightstand, and put his glasses on top of it. Rolling over and facing the wall, he burrowed deeper into the blanket, and let the sound of Wes's snoring lead him into sleep.
"Blaine. Blaine. Wake up, Blaine." He heard a soft voice from far away. "Dammit Blaine, wake up." He felt a shove, and instinctively put up his hands to push back. "Oh, goodness, Blaine, just get up." He opened his eyes to see a blurry Kurt standing above him, one hand on his hip, the other holding a coffee mug.
"Kurt?" he asked, rubbing his eyes as he sat up.
"No, it's your fairy godmother. Yes, it's Kurt. Put on your glasses." Kurt sounded frustrated.
Blaine reached over to his nightstand and picked up his glasses. After he put them on, he noticed that Kurt was still in his pajamas, too, and Wes was already gone.
"Where's Wes?" he asked, taking the coffee that Kurt handed to him.
"He's run off to go talk to David about some problem with the stove. Apparently it won't turn on now." Kurt sat down on the edge of Blaine's bed, careful to keep his distance. Blaine took a drink of his coffee, keeping his eyes on the mug.
"Thanks for the coffee." He said quietly.
"No problem. Consider it part of my apology." Kurt started picking at the threads hanging off of his old McKinley shirt, the one he wore to football practice. Blaine said nothing. "Look, Blaine, I'm sorry, okay? I just… I guess I was upset that you didn't seem happy for me last night."
"No, Kurt, I'm sorry. I never should have said what I said, and I thought about it, and maybe you're right about being jealous. I'm not jealous that you're with Jeff, I'm just kind of jealous that you found someone before me." Everything tumbled out of Blaine's mouth at a rapid pace, and he was worried that maybe Kurt wouldn't understand him, and he'd have to repeat it.
The two boys were silent for a few minutes; Blaine sipped his coffee, and Kurt kept pulling at the loose threads.
"Okay, here's the deal, Blaine." Kurt turned to face his friend, and took Blaine's free hand in his. He looked at Kurt, waiting to hear what he was going to say. "I'm not sure that there is a 'thing' between Jeff and I. We kissed, that's it. There might be more, there might not, but I want the chance to find out. I want to be able to have a relationship, Blaine, because I honestly never thought I'd be able to, not here in Ohio. Then you come along, and everything happens at McKinley, and I end up here with some of the most amazing people I've ever met. Then this guy comes out of nowhere and tells me he likes me, and then he kisses me, and it's like… I don't know, Blaine, it's like sparks went off behind my eyes. I didn't think I'd ever have that." Blaine noticed the way Kurt's eyes almost glittered when he spoke about the kiss. "And the thing is, I need someone who can be there for me while I'm doing this. I need a friend who I can talk to, who can understand me, who can be there for me when I need them. I want that friend to be you, Blaine. I want to know that we can stop being jealous of each other, that we can stop with the bullcrap. I'm sorry about what I said last night, I was totally out of line. Forgive me?" Blaine was caught off guard when Kurt's rant suddenly ended, and he wasn't sure what to say. "Please?" Kurt stuck out his bottom lip in a blatant attempt to look sad and pathetic, and it was working.
Blaine smiled a small smile, then said "I forgive you. Forgive me?" Kurt didn't even bother saying anything, he just pulled Blaine up into a hug, being careful not to spill the coffee.
"Okay, now that we've forgiven each other, do you want to gossip like 14-year-old girls? Because I happen to have overheard Nick talking to Eric this morning about something David did last night…" Blaine sat back and let Kurt go on about David and something that involved his pants. He could do this. He could be friends with Kurt and be there for him, and he could be the listening ear and the shoulder to cry on. He could do this.
Next time: Jeff and Kurt go on their first date. How will Blaine react?