Arthur finds something interesting and probably damning in Merlin's room.

Another stab at humour because 'Have You Ever Noticed' did so well (what? I can't do a bit of self-advertising?) and because I'm about to have a terrible week and this cheerd me up a bit.

Disclaimer: I've said this before, I'll say it again. If I owned this Arthur would have a lot more shirtless scenes.


As Merlin ascended the steps to his chamber he saw the door was ajar. Usually, considering the damning texts that were hidden inside, he kept his door locked when he was out. Peering through a crack in the woodwork he caught a glimpse of blond hair and chainmail. What was Arthur doing in his room? His duties were over for the night.

"Ah, Merlin you're here." The Prince was sitting on Merlin's holding a piece of parchment. "I've found something here I'd like you to explain it to me" he said gesturing at the scroll. Oh Gods, if he's found it then I won't last till morning, I'm doomed. Maybe if I come up with something epically witty he'll be laughing so hard I'll be able to escape.

"It's a piece of paper sire, you use it to write stuff on" decapitation or burning, they hadn't had a hanging for a few years now.

"I am fully aware of the many and infinitely varied uses of paper Merlin." Arthur's tone was beginning to sound strained, as though he was holding back form beating the answer out of his manservant. "What I want to know is what you've written on it"

"It's a tally sire."

"A tally. Of what exactly?" He hadn't notice Arthur stand up but he was inches away now, seething with anger. When Merlin hesitated he slammed his palm into the door frame making his apparently speechless servant jump. "Well‽"

"Of all the times you've been knocked out sire." Merlin mumbled

"Sorry I didn't quite hear that Merlin could you please repeat it?"

"It's a tally of all the times you've been knocked out sire" Merlin repeated a little more authoritatively.

"And why exactly have you kept a record of that Merlin?"

"Well sire, we didn't-"

"We? Who's we?"

"Me and Gaius. We didn't think much of it the first couple of times, but after you were hit on the head hard enough to loose conscious for the fifth time in a month, Gaius and I thought we should keep a record just in case." His answer did not seem to calm the angered prince. In fact it had rather the opposite effect.

"I AM PERFECTLY FINE!"

"And we want to keep you that way." Said Merlin in the same tone he had used when he had tried to persuade Arthur to go on that stupid diet.

"I don't believe this. I'm going to and talk to my father about the patrol rotations, and when I come back this parchment had better be gone." He pushed past Merlin to leave but unfortunately bashed his forehead on the too low beam of the doorway. Merlin merely sighed and reached for his quill, dipping it in ink before drawing a slow line on the paper.

"Two hundred and forty seven"


Ha, I bet you thought it would be a reveal. Fooled ya.

folge min bebod err how do you say 'review' in Old English?