"...ugh...shut up..."




"Please...5 more minutes...just...shut up..."






"I SAID SHUT UP!" I turned over on my side, grabbed my stupid alarm clock and threw it against the wall. I smirked as it made its last beep before making contact with the wall and breaking. As you can see, I am NOT a morning person.

A loud knock on my bedroom door caught my attention.

"CRAIG! I heard a noise! That better not have been your new alarm clock!" mom called from outside the door.

I snorted and gave the middle finger to the door, even though my mom couldn't see it. Yawning, I got up and stretched my arms over my head and slipped out of the warmth and comfort of my bed, the first thing I did was put on my blue chullo hat, the same hat I wore every day of my life. I got dressed and hurried downstairs to get breakfast.

My name is Craig Tucker. I live in a small, redneck town called South Park. My life is pretty boring, but that's just how I like it, nice and boring. I'm 17 years old and go to South Park High. I have blue eyes, and black hair, pale skin, and I pretty much always look bored and unimpressed. Oh, and I have a habit of flipping people the bird, 'The bird' meaning the middle finger, my favorite finger. It's actually something my whole family does, even my 12 year old sister. Sometimes I wonder if I'm adopted, I look nothing like either of my parents. Mom has blonde hair and brown eyes; dad has orange hair and green eyes. Plus I'm the only one in the family with a nasally voice, even if it's barely noticeable.

I shut my bedroom door and made my way down the stairs, taking two at a time. I passed our living room and went into the kitchen. The smell of pancakes greeted me as I entered the kitchen. I love pancakes, always have, always long as there is syrup. I swear to god if Ruby has used up the last of the syrup, I'm going to go upstairs, and burn her precious Twilight books.

Everyone was already seated and eating. Mom sipping lightly on some orange juice, dad reading the newspaper and enjoying the crappy coffee we have. My pain-in-the-ass sister Ruby was eating her pancakes and using way too much syrup. I glared at her before sitting down beside her, reminding myself that if she finishes all the syrup, I have an excuse to burn her Twilight books.

Ruby looks almost exactly like my dad, except her orange hair is paler then his, and of course she wears hers in pigtails. But their eyes are the same, those green eyes that seem to look into your mind and see every little secret. It may sound cool but in's completely fucking creepy.

I started filling my plate with pancakes, and then grabbed the syrup from Ruby ignoring her as she flipped me off.

"Craig! Don't grab from your sister!" dad said, looking up from his newspaper and putting down his coffee cup to flip me off. I gave him the finger in return, my expression staying the same the whole time.

"Craig don't give your dad the finger!" Mom scolded, giving me the finger as well. I flipped her off with my other hand. God I hate this family.

"I can speak for myself!" Dad yelled, putting down his newspaper to use that hand to flip off mom. Mom and dad glared at each other for a second before lifting her other finger to dad.

"Don't you give me that finger!" Mom yelled, her face turning an ugly shade of red. Well, in my opinion it was ugly.

"Don't yell at dad like that!" Ruby flipped off mom with her remaining finger. For about a minute, we all stared at each other like idiots, angry idiots, flipping each other off. Yup, just another normal morning in the Tucker home.

We stared at each other and slowly, started lowering our fingers. I avoided eye contact with anyone, and continued eating my breakfast in silence. My pancakes kind of tasted funny... I guess mom put cinnamon in them again. I swallowed the rest of my pancakes and got up from my chair. I'm not going to clean up after myself, mom can do it for all I care. I grabbed my bag and started walking out the door.

"Bye mom. Bye dad." I knew they didn't care, and I knew they wouldn't answer. It still felt nice to say though. It made me feel, I don't know, as if they might actually care one day and say 'bye son! Have fun at school!' like they used to. But it's stupid to think they would, so I walk outside and shut the door, glad to be away from the assholes known as my family.


The bell rang and I slammed my locker shut. I was headed into my first period class, English. It's not my favorite subject, but I have a B in it. Actually, I have a B in all my classes, nothing above, nothing below, a plain and boring grade, but that's just how I like things. Plain, and boring. I entered my English class and sat down in my seat. I sit right beside a window, it's nice, I can stare out the window when I'm bored.

"Hey Craig, did you finish the homework?" I looked back at one of my best friends, Clyde, sitting right behind me, trying to not look nervous. His panicky green eyes betrayed how he was feeling. I'm guessing he didn't do his homework, as was usual with Clyde.

Clyde is shorter than me; he has messy brown hair and green eyes. He isn't exactly the thinnest guy in school, and he had cry baby attitude that really pisses me off sometimes.

"Yeah I did my homework." I replied, staring at Clyde. I just know he's going to ask if he can copy my homework.

Clyde's eyes lit up. "Hey would you mind if I borrowed-"

"No." Knew it.

"Please Craig?" He gave me a desperate look, trying to guilt me into letting him copy my homework. I just stared back at him, giving him my usual bored look.

"Look, quit bugging me about it, and go ask Kyle or Token. If they won't let you then... just steal Pip's homework." We looked over at Pip sitting a few seats away from us. The thin British boy was writing something down in some book.

Is that a diary?

Pip felt like he was being watched at turned around, his blue eyes meeting Clyde's green eyes and my blue ones. Pip nervously bit his lip and returned to writing in his diary, trying to ignore the stares.

Pip was very thin with long, straight blonde hair reaching to the bottom of his chin. He wore a strange hat and a big bow-tie, along with blue shorts and knee length purple socks with black mary-jane shoes. He had a British accent and everyone made fun of him, but the fag didn't seem to mind at all. Maybe people would stop bullying him if he at least stopped being so goddamn happy about everything!

I finally looked away from Pip and let my eyes wander around the room. Mr. Garrison was at the front of the class going on about something stupid. It really sucks that he's our teacher for English and math. I unknowingly flipped him off.

To my right, Token is sitting beside Red, both of them talking about some show that was on last night. Token is one of my best friends; and he has been since we met in grade two.

Token has black hair, dark skin and brown eyes. He always has a thoughtful look on his face when he isn't goofing off. My other best friends are Clyde Donovan and-

"OH GOD! Th-there's a spider on my desk!"

...Tweek Tweak.

Mr. Garrison and the whole class turned and looked at Tweek, cowering in his chair and twitching uncontrollably while pointing at the spider.

"Tweek, is there a problem?" Mr. Garrison asked, ticked off that this is probably the third time this week something like this has happened.

"Well y-yeah! There's a s-sp-SPIDER! GAH!" Tweek was now standing on his chair and pointing at the spider.

Mr. Garrison sighed. "Oh for the love of God Tweek... Craig kill the spider so we can get on with the lesson without any interruptions." Mr. Garrison and most of the class went back to whatever they were doing before.

I shrugged and rolled up a sheet of my homework, leaned over so I could reach Tweek's desk, and raised my arm, ready to end the spider's life with one smack...

"OH GOD CRAIG! DON'T KILL IT!" Tweek yelled in my ear. I winced and he grabbed my sleeve and put his face close to mine. "C-Craig you're not going to k-kill it right?"

I tugged my sleeve away and looked at the spider. I picked it up using my thumb and my middle finger, and put it close to Tweek's face so he could see. "Hey Tweek chill, it's just a-"

"OH SWEET JESUS!" Tweek yelled and passed out, falling off his chair and onto the floor face first.

"...lint ball." I sighed, dropping the lint ball Tweek had thought was a spider. The class was staring at Tweek unconscious on the floor.

Mr. Garrison rolled his eyes. "Not again... this is the fourth time this week he's passed out in class. Craig, go take Tweek to the nurse's office."

Oh, four times. I had been close.

I glared. "I'm the one who took him last time. Get someone else to do it."

"Craig you go take Tweek to the nurse or it's detention after school!" Mr. Garrison yelled, his patience worn out.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, flipping the teacher off.

"Craig! Did you just give me the finger?" Mr. Garrison yelled.

"No." I said in my bored voice.

"But I just saw you"

I flipped him off again.

"See? He did it again!" Mr. Garrison yelled to the class, most of them snickering.

Without saying anything else, I bent down and flipped Tweek onto his back so I could pick him up easier. I slung him over my shoulder and carried him out of the class, missing something Mr. Garrison said.