Mako's Message:Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me... a day late... but still. I've had this idea for too long to not use it just because I'm a day late in getting it up. I've had the idea for this for...I don't even know how long. It came to me after listening to the song Bad Girlfriend by Theory of a Deadman. It went through a few variations, and it was a little harder to turn the idea into an actual story, but I'm rather pleased with the results. Enjoy!


The club was small. There was plenty of room for a dance floor and a DJ, but as far as nightclubs went, it was small. That didn't mean it was unpopular though. On this particular night it was rather crowded, which didn't bother one Dave Lizewski as he was too busy pondering a cryptic text to care.

"No matter what happens, remember to act like you don't know me."

He scanned the crowd from his table, only to find there was still no sign of Mindy. He took a sip of his drink and tried to find Angela and Riley, who had disappeared onto the dance floor long ago, and had similar results. He looked back to the door, sure that Mindy wouldn't have gone straight for the dance floor, though he did admit that it was a possibility.

And then the doors opened and Hit Girl walked in.

Stunned silence rippled slowly through the crowed as she walked towards the bar. When she hopped onto it, the silence immediately enveloped the entire club. She walked across the bar until she stood in the center of it and look out over the crowd, her hands on her hips, which were swayed slightly to the side, and he feet were just a little more than shoulder width apart.

Dave knew this was no imposter, but there was something off about the suit she was wearing. It fit her too well, showcasing curves he shouldn't have been able to see. Then it hit him; there was no armor in that costume.

"I have some announcements to make," she said, as she unclasped her cape from each shoulder, allowing it to flutter to the floor behind the bar. "First," she said, placing her hand on her belt buckle, "I'm taking tonight off," and she unclipped the belt, causing it fall with a heavy thunk onto the bar. She smirked in a way that usually meant someone was going to die in a rather creative way, but now was simply a display of innocent mischief, "Second, tonight is my twenty first birthday."

Someone in crowd let out a, "Whoo!" while another called out, "Happy Birthday!"

Her smirk grew and she said, "Thank you. And finally, this is now my birthday party and," she reached behind her and pulled out two stacks of bills, which those closest to her could see were hundreds, "all drinks are on me." With that she bent the stacks of crisp bills and sent them spraying backwards over the bartender, who scrambled to collect them along with a few others who had been sitting around the bar.

"Now," she flipped off the bar and landed on a hastily cleared bit of floor, "Who wants to dance with me first?"

Everyone was too stunned to answer immediately so, after a lightning quick mental round of ennie-meenie-mynie-moe, Hit Girl grabbed the guy at her three-o'clock and dragged him off to the dance floor, leaving behind a woman who was quickly shifting from stunned to annoyed.

While Hit Girl found her way to the center of the dance floor and surrounded by several men and not a few women, an over excitable red-head rushed over to where Dave still sat, followed, at a more sedate pace, by a blond who was far too amused with the situation for her own good.

"Oh my god! Dave! What is she doing!" Angela squealed.

"It looks like she's reveling in her celebrity for once," Riley said with a wide grin as she watched Mindy move from the guy she'd dragged onto the floor with her to dance with a girl who looked like Christmas had come again.

Angela ignored her, "Did you know about this!?"

"She didn't say anything to me about it," Dave said with a shake of his head, "But it explains this," and he showed her the text.

"So, what're you going to do?"

"I guess I'm going to do like she asked," he shrugged.

"Nothing!"

"Relax Angela, I'm sure she just wants to have a bit of fun. It's not like she was ever a party girl," Riley said as she continued to watch the boys and girls cluster around their friend with unbridled amusement.

"Hey!" Hit Girl's voice suddenly rang out. She turned around slowly as her admirers and dance partners slowly edged away, "Who just grabbed my ass?" she asked, her voice deceptively playful.

There was a moment of silence from the crowd, then a young man shakily raised his hand, "That was me."

Hit Girl stepped over to him, hips swaying, and wrapped her arms around his neck as she said, "You seem to have misunderstood something. You see, I'm just not that kind of girl." and then her grin turned feral just before she drove her knee into his groin. "I'm that kind of girl," she said as he crumbled to the ground. Then she turned and clapped her hands, "I think it's time for a drink!"

Her fans cheered.

As she walked away, the man curled into a ball on the floor groaned just loud enough to be heard by those near him, "So...worth it."

Dave turned back to Angela, "If she wants to have a little fun, why not let her? It's not like I don't trust her." He looked back at Hit Girl as she worked her way through a line of shots and grimaced, "Well, mostly."

"Eh. The girl can hold her liquor better than she has any right to. I'm sure she'll stop before she becomes impaired," Riley commented.

A minute or so later, Hit Girl was heading back to the dance floor when she suddenly looked in their direction, stopped, smiled, and veered off towards them. "Hey cutie," she said as she dropped into Dave's lap, "How come I didn't see you out on the dance floor?"

"Uh...," Dave said.

Hit Girl looked at the shocked expression on the red head and the chesire cat grin on the blond and said, "I'm not stealing either of yours boyfriend am I?"

"Not our boyfriend, no." the blond said, "She hasn't shown up yet."

"Well, I'm sure she wont mind," she said, running her fingers through Dave's hair. "Oh my god I just love your hair!" she said, suddenly and violently

ruffling his hair with both hands.

"So, who are your friends, stud?" she asked, then as Dave lifted his glass to take a drink, Hit Girl snatched it out of his hands with a "Thank you," and finished the rest of it in one gulp.

Dave looked at her for a moment with annoyance written all over his face, but only for a moment, and then he turned and pointed to the red-head, "That's Angela-"

"Hi Angela."

"-and that's Riley."

"Hello."

Riley leaned forward and offered her hand to shake, "It's a pleasure. I'm a big fan."

Hit Girl grinned widely, "Glad to hear it." Then, idly toying with Dave's hair, she turned to Angela and said, "So your other friend didn't show?"

"No. And not so much as an explanation," she replied.

"That bitch."

Angela looked like she wanted to laugh and scowl at the same time, "It was her idea too."

"Well, she better be pretty hot if she thinks she can get away with standing up this fine hunk of man," Hit Girl said as she wrapped herself further around Dave."

"She hotter than me?"

Dave smirked at her, "It'd be a tough call."

Hit Girl smiled.

For the rest of the night, Hit Girl stayed with Dave, Angela, and Riley. Occasionally other people would come and join their conversation for awhile, but they rarely stayed for long. Usually pulled away by jealous girlfriends, though even the single guys would retreat after awhile, realizing that their chances of getting Hit Girl away from Dave were slim to none. This earned him several jealous glares through the night.

Not to say that Hit Girl didn't dance with anyone else, because she did, she just came back to Dave after dancing with someone else. Even if it was Angela or Riley.

Towards the end of the night, while they were taking a break from dancing to drink, Hit Girl dropped into Dave's lap again, only instead of sitting across it, she straddled it. Draping her arms over his shoulders she said, "Ya know, I've been here for hours and I haven't gotten even one birthday kiss yet."

"He does have a girlfriend, you know. He might get in trouble if miss blabbermouth here let it slip," Riley said, nudging Angela. "I, on the other hand," she continued, "Am completely single."

Hit Girl regarded Riley with an expression that suggested she was seriously considering the offer.

Then she turned back to Dave and mock pouted at him, "Surely kissing Hit Girl would be worth making your girlfriend a little mad at you wouldn't it?"

Dave smirked, "Well, she did not show up without saying anything."

"Exactly. It's her own fault," and with that she wrapped her arms around Dave's neck and pressed her lips to his to a chorus of cheers from the rest of the club goers.

Though one particular girl looked like the final number on her sixty million lottery ticket was wrong.

What started as a simple kiss slowly escalated into a rather energetic make-out session, with Angela and Riley playing paparazzi shield, that lasted until the club closed.

"C'mon you two," Riley said finally, smacking them on the arm, "We don't have to go home but we can't stay here." After yawning she added, "I think I will be heading home though."

"Aww, already? I was just starting to have fun," Hit Girl said.

"We noticed," Angela said, and pointed towards Hit Girl's wig.

Hit Girl grinned sheepishly as she adjusted it.

They walked to the door of the club together, where Riley asked if Dave needed a ride home. "No," she said, "I think the walk will do me some good."

She then cast a questioning glance at Hit Girl, "I'll be fine. I'm not nearly as think as you drunk," she smiled, "Besides, I have some things to take care of with the owner."

"Alright, well..." she paused, deciding how to continue, then shrugged,and said, "happy birthday," before turning around and walking off.

"It was awesome getting to celebrate your birthday with you, I'm a huge fan!" Angela said, "Good luck!" and then ran to catch up with Riley. She was her ride, after all.

When she did she looked over her shoulder again before giggling and saying to Riley, "Todd is going to be kicking himself for months for missing that."

Back at the door, Dave was saying his own goodbye's to the surprise member of their group, "I'm still trying to get over you showing up like that."

"Yeah, well, I thought itwould be fun to just, ya know, be a little wild for once."

"'For once'"

She rolled her eyes and said, "in a way that doesn't involve blood shed," then slugged him on the shoulder. "And to think I actually made out with you."

"And it was the best part of my night."

Hit Girl cocked an eyebrow and her lips moved very slightly in a way that might have looked like. "so far," to a very skilled lip reader.

"Why did you pick me anyway?" Dave asked.

She raised both eyebrows at that, "Well, aside from you being hot, you were the only one not falling over and making an ass of themselves trying to get with me."

"Makes sense."

She smirkeed again, "Anyway, this is goodbye. I have to talk to the manager about the security tapes."

Dave laughed, "I bet. Goodbye then. It was fun. Surreal, but fun."

"Goodbye Dave. Go make it up to your girlfriend and tell her I said thanks for lending you to me." Then she turned to the bouncer who'd been standing in front of the door and watching the whole thing and said, "I need to get in there."

After a moment, the bouncer nodded and stepped aside, allowing Hit Girl to disappear inside."

Dave walked away shaking his head, "Wow."

Later, Dave was laying on the couch reading when Mindy came home. He looked up at her and said, "In the interest of full disclosure, I made out with Hit Girl tonight."

Mindy rolled her eyes and dropped onto the couch and pressed her lips against his, "That's fine. What I have a problem with is you not being in bed, naked and waiting for me."

Dave smiled a little sheepishly, "I'm a little tired, and I didn't know how long you'd be so I was worried that I might fall asleep if I got into bed without you to entertain me."

Mindy pulled back, "Excuse me, but YOU are supposed to be entertaining ME tonight." She hopped off the couch and dragged him to his feet, "Now get moving Ass, you've got work to do."

Dave just grinned and followed her into the bedroom.